growth or whatever

constant destruction and reform.

[littleddutch]

I went through old pictures tonight and I don't know the person in those pictures

and it hurt so so so much looking at the past

I feel like I'm such a nostalgic person

I can't explain the feeling I have right now, looking at the person in those pictures, knowing where I am in my life right now

i don't know what I'm trying to write right now

it just hurts so much

and I know things are going to change one way or another within the next few months and every morning there are a few moments when I wake up before my mind starts swarming with thoughts of how much I hate so much in my life and I am standing on a cliff and time is pressing up behind me and soon I will have no other choice except to jump out the ledge

anyways those moments in the morning are such bliss

maybe one day my life will feel like that longer than a few seconds in the morning

[straightboyfriend]

how do you remember all the recipes at starbucks? is it hard

rat under my starbucks hat does it for me

[straightboyfriend]

[ispyspookymansion]

i love you cloudy skies i love you 60F/16C temperatures i love you cool winds i love you dewy grass i love you lake and oceanfront breezes i love you rain i love you light jacket weather i love you springtime i love you late fall i love you middle ground temperatures forever

[tourfilm]

oh yeah heres my collection of 2021 headlines that i forgot to post when the year ended

[littleddutch]

everyday I wake up thinking that it'll be better, but it is a lie.

[littleddutch]

how do I stop listening to the part of my mind that wants me to suffer? I feel so weak that I cannot change. why am I not strong enough?

I want to be a role model for my daughter, but I feel like I am failing both of us. I am not proud of myself, how could she possibly be proud of me?

it feels like every decision I make, unconsciously or consciously, does nothing to get me closer to my goals of get me closer to being happy with myself.

is this what being older is like? I've found myself thinking about this recently and pretty often. everything is so mundane and doesn't matter. it's like no matter what I do, I will not be happy. that's what it feels like right now. I feel like this is what it is to be an adult... this dawning realization that nothing matters, nothing will change, and nothing matters. it's this gnawing emptiness that I try and try to distract myself from, but at the end of the day, that's what my mind settles on. part of me thinks that everyone else around me knows this, and I'm just late to the game. part of me thinks that I am sick and depressed. not much feels good right now. and I feel like I have wasted so much of my life.

I wish I would journal more. if not on paper, than on here.

[pbs-r]

giving yrself a haircut = instant refresher

Getting a tattoo= instant reminder of autonomy

Cleaning ur room so it’s really nice = ‘ I can improve my situation with effort’

[wolveswolves]

This wolf in British Columbia took a break from eating herring roe to investigate a half-submerged object: the photographer’s camera

Photograph by Ian McAllister

[hometoursandotherstuff]

Miniature house of the Addams Family.

Artist Kelly Little-Kuehnert of K&K Custom Miniature Creations made this amazing miniature models of the Addams Family home for a client. The house took about a year to built.

Keep reading

[beggars-opera]

Aren’t you glad covid didn’t happen in 2005 like all the scene kids would be calling the new variant the omnomnomicron with a cartoon dinosaur or something

[s0ph1sticated]

I made you a vaccine but I eated it

[transparentstickers]

Halloween stickers by Hallmark, 1984

[littleddutch]

maybe

I should try to find the good in everything... and everyone.

instead of being so pessimistic, trying to look at the world through rose-colored glasses.

and see how that might change me.

[arterialtrees]

[theshellshack]

[auralrapeblackearth]

[littleddutch]

lil list of my pregnancy cravings:

blueberry muffins, bagels, mac and cheese, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, McDonald's fries, fried pickles, mashed potatoes, biscuits, sweet tea

[fortinbrasftw]

Kid Pix just became pubic domain, so the remade (but pretty much exactly the same) version is now available here. It's uh, wild, highly recommend checking it out not only for the wonderful nostalgia but you can legit make some incredible looking stuff!

FIND IT HERE