Xeraphin Kamdyn

From the ashed of a painful childhood rises a woman stronger than the world expected.

[littleflame-xera-blog]

lady-lilah:

Lilah rested her palms against the bench, steadying herself against every impulse in her body that wanted to react badly, falling over, throwing up, all the things it was difficult to avoid doing when hungover. She just wanted to get to her apartment, fall into bed, and stay there for the next day. Taking a few deep breaths, she centered herself enough to feel that she could stand with help. Glancing toward Xera, she offered a small smile. “Lilah… thank you, I’d love that.” As she pushed herself up, she said, “I think I just need my bed. Long night.”

“Lilah,” Xera said with a little nod. “It’s nice to meet you.” Or... well.. it probably would be if she wasn’t so hungover. The poor girl. Xera reached for the girl, her arms wrapping around her waist. “We’ll get you home and in bed. Just, uh, warn me if you need to puke, kay?” Xera did not want to get puked on for her good deed. 

[littleflame-xera-blog]

ez-berry:

“But I didn’t choose Portland on the map.” He often wondered if leaving his fate to chance had been a stupid idea, choosing a town in the middle of nowhere over a major city like Portland. “What does raw cake even taste like, I wonder? I know you can cook things a bit… under a certain temperature or something like that.” The idea of a raw diet didn’t appeal to him at all, and he wondered what people who ate that way thought they were accomplishing.

Xera cocked her head and put her hand on her hip. “Well, why ever not?” she asked mock-sternly. “One would think Portland would appeal to a chef.” It wasn’t that far from Havenoaks, Xera had timed it. Maybe an hour drive, or two if you took Trimet. Her nose wrinkled at the idea of raw cake batter. “No, you’re absolutely right. A raw diet is not doable.” 

[littleflame-xera-blog]

lost--ryder:

 Ryder chuckled along with the woman in front of him. “Oh okay. No worries. Sports and music are supposed to unite people, right? So, you’re welcome to join in on the conversation.” He mused. Being back in Havenoaks was going to be difficult for him to get used to. Ryder was so used to being out on the road with his team and often had fans jumping out at him who thought they knew him. It was nice being able to introduce himself to people in the town he now called home. It was almost as if it was a clean slate for him. “You love football? What’s your favorite team?” He wondered. “Nice to meet you, Xera. I’m Ryder. I’m the quarterback for the Cleveland Browns. I don’t typically like to drop the whole I’m an NFL player on people, but since you introduced yourself with your title, I figured I’d introduce myself with mine.”

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“Well, I’m from Arizona, so I feel obligated to say the Cardinals, but honestly... The Seahawks or the Patriots.” She was on the fence with the Patriots currently because of the quarterback, but that was neither here nor there. “I was rooting for the Eagles in the Superbowl, though.” She just couldn’t support Brady anymore and she wouldn’t support the Patriots until he had retired. “The Browns, huh? I can’t say I know much about that team.” 

[littleflame-xera-blog]

Room for Rent || Xera & Davis

[littleflame-xera-blog]

davismakesaurl:

Davis waved his hand. “No, it’s fine, I really don’t mind pets at all.” He wished he had the time for his own but with work and school, he was hardly home as it was. Whenever he was home, Davis closed himself off into his room, too tired to really make an effort to socialize with anyone else. Some people called that unhealthy, Davis just called it coping. 

“Um, let me show you around some,” he offered. “Not that there really is much to see.” He pointed over to the deep pantry that was tucked in the kitchen. “We have our own washer and dryer, which is nice, but..” He then pointed to the hall that led to the rooms. “One bath.”

The apartment was very little, but she didn’t mind that. She honestly didn’t take up much space. Perhaps it was a product of her upbringing, but Xera was often very contained and closed off. She didn’t own all that many things so one bedroom would be plenty of room for her. “Oh,” she said as she looked around, “that’s okay. We’ll have to coordinate on getting ready in the mornings, but one bath isn’t a big deal.” Her makeup took up space, but she could set up a spot in her room to do her hair and makeup. That also wasn’t a hardship. 

“It’s perfect, really.” It was quiet and central to her job. She wouldn’t have to commute too terribly and the price was right. Which was really the biggest sell of the whole thing. She hadn’t had a roommate since college and had hoped to never have one again, but the student loans were burying her alive. She needed to get under them and to do that she needed to cut costs. A roommate was really the best option. “Do I need to fill out like... an application? What do you want to know about me?”

[littleflame-xera-blog]

Room for Rent || Xera & Davis

[littleflame-xera-blog]

davismakesaurl:

He closed the door before turning back to face Xera. Not many people had ever visited him, and only one other person had lived with him since he moved out to the states, the change was something he no longer felt prepared for. He needed to suck it up though, even if he wanted to climb into his own shell. 

“Pets?” He hadn’t expected that. Davis did want a pet; the idea of a four legged friend following him around the apartment was enough to send his heart soaring. He spent so much time along, even his parents wondered if having a dog or even a fish would give him some kind of socialization, unfortunately, Davis’ schedule was hectic as it was, he couldn’t take care of himself half the time, what made them think that a pet would be any better? Still, the pet that Xera talked about wasn’t his, so technically, he would just be in for the cuddles. “I really don’t mind them, as long as she’s looked over..”

She turned to look at him and nodded. “Just the one cat,” she said with a shrug. It was her sister’s, she wasn’t willing to give the little fluff ball up. She should have thought about that when she was replying to his add, truthfully, but her mind hadn’t been on Kaa, but on the need to find a place to live that she could afford. She hated how even here, she couldn’t really do it. Not with her loans. The price she paid to get the hell away from her old life had been steep, but even if she lived in a box on the street, it would have been worth it.

A smile split her lips when he agreed to the cat. “Oh she is,” she said quickly. “I take very good care of her. I promise she won’t bother you... unless she wants you to pet her, but if that’s a problem I can restrict her to my room.” She would feel bad for doing that, but it was the least she could do if she got the apartment.

[littleflame-xera-blog]

lady-lilah:

Lilah sat up quickly, perhaps a little too quickly and she held her hand to her head, looking around through blurry vision, head pounding as she took in her surroundings. “Yeah, I think…” Blinking as she looked in the direction of what she thought might be her door, she nodded. “I think that’s me. Over there.” Glancing over at the girl who’d woken her, she wrinkled her nose and sighed. “This is a terrible first impression I’m making.”

Xera’s nose wrinkled and her face pinched together. “You might want to take it slow,” she said sympathetically to the girl’s plight. The second she’s sat up Xera knew what she was experiencing. The throbbing pulse of a hangover headache, the dizzy nausea and the pain of the bright light of daytime, even if it was dimmed by rain clouds. “Awe, don’t worry about first impressions. Hungover impressions don’t count. I’m Xera, would you like help to your place?”

[littleflame-xera-blog]

henryxkoehler:

“There are many places to choose to escape to but hey. You wanted to come to a place who only had basic cable up until fifteen years ago and is mom & pop central. Then who am I to judge?” He still would but that was more on him than anything else. Henry kept against the wall and looked away from her at someone in the distance. Familiar faces pepped this town and he never knew if he was seconds away from running into an ex or somebody he’d been dodging since he was last here. 

“Where was home?” With him this town was pockmarked with a lot of unpleasant memories. He wasn’t around all that much after his 10th grade year but leading to that he developed his abandonment issues, which turned into various cries for attention from his dear parents. He knew this wasn’t a bad place but when there was close to nothing by means of entertainment it made it easy to let those voices out to get the best of him.

She cocked a brow at him and pursed her lips. If her laptop wasn’t currently pressed against her chest she would have crossed her arms at him. “It sounds like you already are, despite knowing absolutely nothing about me beyond the fact that I have made a life here.” she challenged. Who was he to judge, that was a good question, but it was clear he still chose to do it. He didn’t know a damn think about her, yet there he was, judging her for slipping away to a town that was a bit more simple. 

“Flagstaff,” she told him honestly. Flagstaff wasn’t honestly that far away from Havenoaks, but in terms of lifestyle, they were miles apart. Her faster father would never look for her here, though she doubted he would come looking for her. 

[littleflame-xera-blog]

ez-berry:

“I think that’d put me out of business. Or am I underestimating Oregon’s hippie population?” He wondered how his restaurant would last if he stopped actually cooking anything fully. “And I like cake too much. Properly baked cake… decadent, no hidden veggies. The fire risk is worth the cake.”

“I think you’re underestimating them,” she said honestly. “The hippie population in this state... though, I think you’d have a better go of thinks if you were in Portland.” Portland was notorious for its kooks. You bring up a valid point about the cake, though. You might be right about the risk.”

[littleflame-xera-blog]

henryxkoehler:

Henry expected a the type of answer that wouldn’t intrigue him. That was the thing with most conversations with people, they said the typical filler to be polite or not come across as too forthcoming. This woman went in a different direction and it actually caused him to look at her. Okay. This could be interesting he thought to himself.  “You know what I’m about to ask, don’t you?” he went with as he shifted from the doorway and went to a spot along the hallway where people wouldn’t keep brushing against him to get into the room. “Why do you want to be far from your birthplace?” He didn’t give her a chance to answer because it was obvious. 

The cost of living he got. It was how he planned to help his parents with their financial woes. He could easily write a check and be done with them until the next family holiday, but he was bored with life at the moment and needed to distance himself from his friends who he left back in LA. There was also the chance to drag things out for them as long as possible when it came to his parents. They expected immediate results and he intended to be a thorn in their sides as they’ve been to him his entire life.

She knew exactly what he was about to ask and it didn’t bother her one bit. She wasn’t one for small talk so polite and fake answers were rarely the kind that slipped from her lips. He’d asked when she picked Havenoaks and she’d told him. It was a simple answer, really. There was no need to dance around it or keep quiet for fear of hurting delicate sensibilities. It wasn’t like they lived her life. It wasn’t like they’d walked through fire or lived through abusive foster home after abusive foster home. “I imagine it’s similar to why it was you didn’t want to come home.” She told him honestly. “Though, that is an assumption on my part. It was just not a very positive place and growing up sucked. So why stay? Finding a new place and reinventing oneself is easier when you’re willing to leave.” 

He asked and Xera was all too happy to answer. She didn’t feel the need to go into detail. He was more than welcome to ask if he felt the need but she’d already told him that she was from a place for leaving. This particular town might also be a place for leaving, but as it wasn’t the same as where she came from, she had no trouble staying. She rather liked the cute little town. 

[littleflame-xera-blog]

Room for Rent || Xera & Davis

[littleflame-xera-blog]

davismakesaurl:

“Yeah, I am, thankfully. Wouldn’t want to put you through that,” he joked, hoping that it was enough to break the ice, even if just a little. He hated small talk, mostly because he was never good at it. Everyone always grew silent mid sentence and things would just sit with the awkward air choking them. 

It dawned on him that it would mostly likely be the polite thing to let her in and that staring at her was not really the most acceptable thing in the world. His face grew red and he quickly tucked himself to the side, giving her room to walk in. “You can come in, obviously that’s why you’re here,” he said, muttering the last bit to himself. 

The apartment smelled like air freshener that he had obviously just sprayed moments before Xera had knocked on the door. “You want me to show you around? It’s not too big but at least you’d get a feel of the place.”

She wasn’t in the habit of inviting herself into places and she certainly wasn’t about to waltz into the guys home, even if it was possibly going to also be her home at some point. There were so many reasons why she should just find a way to manage one her own, but she knew that would only lead to other issues. She twisted the silver ring with the orange sunstone in it, a nervous habit that she’d picked up years and years ago. “Thank you,” she said dropping her hands to the side and taking the step over the threshold. 

Her eyes moved around the room, taking in the sparsely decorated yet clean space. With each inhale of breath, the taste of cleaner and room spray clung to her taste buds. It wasn’t a good taste, but it was at least clean. She could hardly complain about walking into a clean home. She liked the lack of clutter, but one could tell it was a man that lived there

“I would like that, yes,” she said with a nod once her eyes had found the young man again. “Just one question, before you do that. Do you mind pets? I have a cat. Well... My sister’s cat. Ka. She’s a sweet little black kitten but...” What she looked like didn’t matter if he was allergic or not allowed to have pets.

[littleflame-xera-blog]

Room for Rent || Xera & Davis

[littleflame-xera-blog]

davismakesaurl:

Davis was grateful for his parents, while they didn’t really enjoy the fact that he was in a whole other country and away from their doting/prying eyes, they supported him and basically still kept him alive. However, they did tend to overstep. They were paying his rent for the first few months after his friend moved back home, which was fine, but the amount of guilt that he felt weighed him down. It also didn’t help that they tracked how much water he used and the light. It was overwhelming and Davis had enough of it. 

Again, he wasn’t ungrateful, but he did want to step away from their overbearing ways. While they didn’t want him to get another roommate, he knew it was the best option. He pushed down the fear and anxiety that bubbled up in the pit of his stomach and put out an ad. Part of him felt as though he sounded desperate ‘need of roommate, can move in ASAP’. He wasn’t wrong though, he needed to stop depending on his parents for everything, but he also didn’t want to jump at being on his own without some help. 

He didn’t have to wait long for a response. An email popped in by a young woman who was interested in the spare room. He was almost too paralyzed to answer it. What if she met him and decided to not move in? What if he didn’t like her? His heart raced with each scenario, but there was nothing else he could do but hope that all went well. 

The two decided to meet up at the apartment. He cleaned furiously, down to the last coffee stain that was on the carpet since the first day he moved in. The apartment seemed quite bare without the clutter. The beige walls merely hung a whiteboard school schedule alone with post-its of reminders of assignments and when he had to go to work. Two figurines decorate the TV stand, while the others were tucked away in shame. There was a single couch to sit on with just a plain, grey coffee table that only sat with his laptop. 

Once the knock reached his ear, he stalked over to the door, contemplating if he should just pretend he wasn’t home. That was reasonable right? Fortunately, the poor boy mustered up the courage and answered the door. He offered a polite smile and wave. “Hello, you’re Xera, I hope?”

The door opened and she breathed a slight sigh of relief. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting but the guy looked normal. Looks could be deceiving, it was true, but she’d been envisioning some three-headed alien because of course, that was what normal people did... 

“I am, yeah,” she said with a bright smile. She was trying to come off as friendly. Xera had a tendency to look mean when she wasn’t trying to look nice. She had a look about her, cultivated from years in the system that said all too plainly that she was not interested in dealing with other people and the shit they brought to the table. She was a nice woman, but she did not suffer fools easily. It was part of why she had chosen to teach at the college level. She could tell the students off in ways and at least most of them wanted to be there. They were paying for the class after all. 

“I’m hoping you’re Davis or this interaction is about to get very awkward.” He hadn’t actually introduced himself but as this was supposed to be his place, possibly her’s, she was going to let herself assume that was who he was. 

[littleflame-xera-blog]

henryxkoehler:

Henry’s dark eyebrows went up slowly and he nodded. It surprised him when people came to Havenoaks by choice. All his life he spent time in either summer camp or boarding school. This town itself never fit him right yet his parents insisted he visit for holidays. This was well and good for years until this last one when dear ol’ dad made a few bad investments and lost everything. Now Henry was called upon to save the day; which surprised even him, and he bid farewell to the city life and couldn’t help shake he was living out a modern day Green Acres but this involved family instead of a wife. “Have to ask this but why this college? There must be others in other cities or even states which piqued your interest.” He asked. “Most people who go to the college here either grew up int he town or live in a surrounding city.” Or not. He acted as if this were fact either way.

When Xera had graduated from college, she had put her resume out to any and every college that was hiring. There wasn’t a single place in the country she wanted to be, but there also wasn’t a single place she didn’t want to be. With one notable exception. She had not applied for any school that was hiring in the state of Arizona. She refused to stay in a state in whose foster care she had barely survived. “Why not? They were hiring and they were about as far away from my birthplace as was possible.” She might, in a few years check out greener pastures but she was still so new to teaching. She was lucky this place gave her a chance. “Plus the cost of living is better than other places.” She still couldn’t afford an apartment on her own, but that was in part due to student loans not lack of pay. 

[littleflame-xera-blog]

lost--ryder:

“Yes, ma’am I sure did!” Ryder beamed. “I love good football. Have we met before?” He wondered. 

She laughed and shook her head. “No, I don’t think we have. I just couldn’t help but join the conversation. I love football.” She should be ashamed that she’d stuck her nose in someone else’s conversation, but she kind of wasn’t. “I’m Xera. I’m an English professor at the college here.”

[littleflame-xera-blog]

lady-lilah:

Lilah squinted up at the person who’d spoken. Who…? “Uh… yeah, I think I might. Thanks.” Glancing around for a moment, she added, “Where am I?” It very well could’ve been her apartment, but things were too blurry to tell.

Xera wasn’t actually sure there was a bucket around, but if the girl was serious, she would go find one. “A bench outside my apartment building.” She said simply. “Maybe it's your building too?”

[littleflame-xera-blog]

Pizza || Xera & Gavin

His last text rang through just as she put the car in reserve. She didn’t bother to grab it from the inside of her handbag, she was already on her way over. They could talk when she got there. She hadn’t even grabbed the papers she was supposed to grade. Gavin had tempted her with food, food she didn’t need to pay for and that was really all Xera needed. 

Her apartment was already boxed up and ready for moving, even if she didn’t have a place lined up. Cash was short for her, as it always was. Eventually, she would pay off her student loans and the world wouldn’t seem quite so similar to a hamster running in place on a big wheel, but until then, free food and friendly company weren’t things she was likely to pass up. 

The trip was quick, only 10 minutes. Everything in this town was 10 minutes away. She’d told him 15 only because she’d been sitting on her couch with her earbuds in, listening to a random station on Spotify or Amazon music while an old TV show played on the tv in a pair of boy shorts and a tank top. She liked the multitasking, she didn’t like getting dressed. 

For pizza, she would get dressed. 

She parked on the street, not wanting to obstruct the driveway for Victor should he come home while she was there not grading papers with Gavin. Her chucks made barely any noise on the pavement as she got out of the car and made her way up the walkway and knocked on the door. Her outfit today was unlike any she wore at school. When she was in the classroom, Xera was always well dressed and put together. Makeup on her face, pencil skirts, heels. She wore none of that. Jeans, an old sweatshirt from the University of Arizona, and her chucks. Ever her hair, that was normally stick straight and down the middle of her back was thrown up in a messy bun. She looked far more human and less robotic. 

@gothic-gavin

[littleflame-xera-blog]

Gav -> Xera

Gav: Is it something you envy?

Gav: Oh, I've had a few of those. At least of the "family of choice" variety. Sometimes you find people along the way who you want to claim as your own somehow.

Gav: Proper adoption though, my father was never the type. And I was my mother's only son.

Xera: I don't much care for envy, but yes I think I did.

Xera: Fostercare wasn't always fun but she was always happy.

Xera: I understand that. She's all I have for family.

[littleflame-xera-blog]

Gav -> Xera

Gav: Oh, I know. I'm just saying... He's somehow been tricked into thinking I'm hot, so there's no plight here for me. I'm just happy to be invited to his party.

Gav: Does the hyperness get to you? How hyper are we talking about here?

Gav: I've always known that it could be possible. My father left when I was quite young, and he's a complete idiot.

Xera: I'm fairly certain she has springs in her feet...

Xera: It's never bothered me, though.

Xera: I always marveled at her ability to be happy.

Xera: There is something to be said for adopting siblings, too.