Today i donāt have a photo.
Just a few hours ago the door bell rang soo many times and i got up. I was mad at someone who rang the bell and i was yelling while iām walking towards the door. At the same moment my dad got in while heās yellingĀ āā *** hit her head!āā My mom dashed in and she was so scared. She asked my dad if my sister was bleeding. The answer was yes. I froze. They immediatley strated to run. I grabbed the key and started to run few minutes later. When i saw my sisterās bleeding head from the behind, i screamed. I was so scared. I run trough the home and gave my dad what he needs and they went to the hospital. I was at home. I was shaking and went to my room. Grabbed my phone and called my best friend. She tried to calm me down. I was crying and blameing myself for everything. Then i waited one and half hour, i was soo anxious. When they got home, i hugged my sister. She was okay. I relieved and thanked god that nothing worse happened.
Now I'm very afraid of some things. Accidents, deaths ... When my best friend passed out, I would die of fear. When I found out that another close friend of mine had surgery, I was shocked. I can't stop crying when news of death come. Anxiety swallows me. Whenever my family and loved ones are out, I fear that something will happen to them. Likewise, whenever I go out and get on the car or bus, I pray that the road is over immediately. I don't want to live like this anymore. Frightened, sad, worried ... I don't want anything to happen to my family and friends. I hope good things always find me, us. I will not stop believing. Maybe because I am not close to God, he makes me experience these to make me believe in him. Who knows...
I'm believing, i'm living, i will learn how to not swallow by anxiety...