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Mike Driver
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Janaina Medeiros
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@littlefunnyfox
coworker who has shot me with a water pistol twice today asked me “did you ever watch k-pop demon hunters,” i said “no,” he said, “do you watch Anything,” i looked up towards the ceiling briefly before looking back at him & saying, “no,” he said, “all i can picture, is you, in a corner of a room, staring at a wall,” i said, “yeah”
Last July, 3 deputies from the Los Angeles Sheriff’s Department confiscated an antique grenade and blew themselves up with. They took a grenade and blew themselves up with it. Just wanted to remind everyone about that incident.
They're desperately trying to find someone to charge for the three deaths but all the evidence is pointing to "blew themselves up". OSHA investigated and called the lack of safety precautions "willful negligence". The second grenade is apparently missing.
Anyone have the officer down confetti image?
When I posted about the news story originally, someone responded with a version of the meme that said “officer kinda everywhere” instead.
Avatar Aang, age 17, once got clocked in the face by Firelord Zuko, age 20, because he forgot Zuko is deaf in his left ear and has no peripheral vision on that side either. And made the mistake of not announcing he was right next to Zuko, resulting in jumpscaring the Firelord and being on the receiving end of Zuko's fight or flight response. Unfortunately for Aang, Zuko always chooses "fight".
Aang goes down and somewhere in Zuko's hindbrain, a millisecond before he properly processes the situation, his inner ponytail!prince starts shouting FINALLY FUCKING CAUGHT THE AVATAR
Fortunately what comes out is just fuck fuck fuck
Some new rubber stamp designs!
TIL English inventor Joseph Merlin designed the first roller skates for a masquerade party in 1760. Not bothering to practice, he smashed into a wall length mirror upon entrance.
via ift.tt
This is the best, most on-brand way for roller skates to be introduced to the world.
“One of his ingenious novelties was a pair of skaites contrived to run on wheels. Supplied with these and a violin, he mixed in the motley group of one of Mrs Cowley’s masquerades at Carlisle House; when not having provided the means of retarding his velocity, or commanding its direction, he impelled himself against a mirror of more than five hundred pounds value, dashed it to atoms, broke his instrument to pieces and wounded himself most severely”
the internet tells me that five hundred pounds in 1760 is the equivalent of over a hundred thousand dollars today, nice work.
we joke about Tumblr making your brain unable to interact with regular humans, but today I used the phrase “very slow tigers are chasing me” and no one, NO ONE, understood what I meant.
Tumblr is a giant step towards achieving a Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra level of communication.
You don’t get to hide this gem in the tags sorry
Yeah I mentioned the leopards eating peoples faces party to a friend once and the whole conversation immediately derailed. I hadnt even realised I said something weird at first
What. I thought that was a common political metaphor in the US
it's almost summer do you guys want my stupid hyperoptimized lemonade recipe that takes half a day to make and whips absolute ass
Fruited Lemonade That Makes You Reconsider It All
ingredience:
lemons/limes (this needs to make up the bulk of the fruit being used, like at least 80%)
whatever other fruits or fruit scraps you want, plus any herbs/other flavorings you want to try. by fruit scraps I mean things like cherry pits, apple peels, pineapple cores, strawberry ends, things like that.
granulated white sugar, the coarser the better, 50% by weight of total citrus rinds + 100% by weight of any additional fruit. you'll measure this after you prep the fruit.
water as needed
equipment:
a few nonmetallic mixing bowls
a mesh strainer
a chinoise, ricer or some cheesecloth
a kitchen scale
a citrus juicer or reamer (manual or electric)
a potato masher
juice the citrus through a strainer - saving all rinds - and refrigerate the juice for the time being. dice the rinds and other fruits if any, keeping the rinds separate. make note of weights, and measure your sugar.
Place sugar in a large nonmetallic bowl. If using non-citrus fruits and/or any other flavorings, mix them in with the sugar and mash with potato masher. add diced citrus rinds, mix thoroughly, and mash again. cover and let stand at room temperature for at least 4 hours. this allows the sugar to draw out flavors that would otherwise get discarded with the rinds, and the rinds' acids should be enough to dissolve the sugar into a syrup.
Afterward, mash one last time, then collect the syrup by pressing the macerated mixture through a strainer/chinoise or ricer, or squeeze it through cheesecloth. if you want, this can be saved as a standalone syrup at this point, for use in cocktails or desserts. if not, slowly pour the reserved juice through the solids to to help get the remaining syrup out, and squeeze/press again. do the same thing one more time with warm water (roughly the same amount of water as juice). discard solids (or try making sangria with them!).
taste the mixture and add more water if necessary. a stronger mix is totally fine if you anticipate serving over ice on a hot day, or adding booze, or if there was a lot of non-sour fruit. keep in mind that it will taste a bit less sweet once it's chilled. pour into a pitcher and refrigerate.
citrus oils will float to the top, so stir/shake before serving. love you. enjoy.
some tried and true flavor combos:
straight lemon or lime, or any combination of the two, is of course an untouchable classic
lemon & strawberries (that's pussy babe!)
lemon & orange with a hint of vanilla (creamsiclemonade...?)
lemon & apples or apple peels with cinnamon/ginger/allspice (for late summer)
some cocktail type combos, booze optional:
lemon or lime & berries with basil + gin
lime & mint + white rum
lime & ginger + dark rum
lime & cucumber + gin
lime & orange (berries optional) + tequila
lemon, orange & cherry + brandy, bourbon, or rye whiskey
Me, two glasses of wine in: "yeah so here's an in depth conversation about my identity as a nonbinary person, and my struggles with transphobia in 2023"
Median Center-Right American Dude at the party, also two drinks in: "Damn that's crazy, I never thought of it like that. Man, I'm sorry you gotta deal with this shit."
Me: "Ahh it's alright. I deal."
Random Guy: "People should just chill tf out."
Me: "Damn right"
Random Guy: "So if you're non binary, and, sorry if this is offensive but I don't know the right words here. Like, is it cross dressing for you if you wear a skirt?"
Me: "Its- hm. Huh. I have no idea."
Guy: "It must have been nice to go to school with other trans people. Like, you must've felt safe."
Me: "No actually it was the opposite. It just made me even more upset and confused. I didn't know what being non-binary was. I saw people that transitioned from one gender to the other and knew I wasn't that. It took me a long time to figure this shit out."
Guy: "man that sounds rough. No wonder you guys are upset all this time this sounds painful."
Me: "Well, it sucks until it suddenly doesn't. It sucks and then it rules hard."
Guy: "so It's like working out."
Me: [both of us are now nodding wisely] "it's like working out."
Guy who has only ever played undertale seeing a skeleton for the first time: "holy shit"
in the mission control room hearing my veteran pilot snarl "I won't go down to some nobody!" into the comms and putting my head in my hands because now that he said that he's absolutely going to die to this oddly skilled random upstart in a standard issue infantry mech
OP it is absolutely vital that you open comms with your pilot and say his name. maybe mention something about the ace up his sleeve or whatever. that should buy him enough time to set his mech to self-destruct or launch his signature weapon. if he can time it right he'll be able to eject just as the explosion covers his escape.
he might survive with an evil-looking scar and a new thirst for revenge. better than nothing.
*standing in the road, talking very quietly*
Kakashi: Hey, Naruto, Sakura. You two want to go get some lunch? It’s on me.
Naruto: Heck yeah, dattebayo!
Sakura: Wait, Sensei … why are you whispering like that?
Kakashi: Obito is standing over by that shop.
Naruto: So?
Kakashi: So, if I keep talking really quietly like this, and draw you two closer to me … *pulls Naruto and Sakura in by the shoulders* And I make it a point to do this — *looks directly at Obito, points, then looks back to Sakura and Naruto* It’ll drive him insane.
Sakura: Sensei, that doesn’t really make sense. Why would he care if you’re whispering about —
Obito, from across the road: What the hell are you plotting, Hatake?? I can see you over there, you sneaky son of a bitch!!
Obito: *runs across the road and up to Kakashi* You think you can get the drop on me, asshole? Well think again! *reaches down and takes hold of Kakashi’s hand* I’m not letting go of you for the rest of the day!
Kakashi: Fine. We’re going to lunch, and since you’re holding my good hand, I can’t reach my wallet, so you’ll have to pay for everyone.
Obito: Fine! Let’s go, you snake! *marches off still holding Kakashi’s hand*
Sakura and Naruto:
Naruto, thinking of Sasuke: I’ve really gotta start taking notes …
Paint brushes are the best, Dukes
the smug smile through the mask really sells this 😭