Babyfur and Tech

Babyfur and creative artist, writer, and musician.

[littlepebble10]

Update on Things

With Face Book making things difficult with their new design I am deciding on being more active on tumblr and then share posts from here. This will prove to be a challenge because I meant to make this separate to incorporate my little head-space. I can’t go into too much detail due to how this paints a target on some people. Essentially I have to make this balanced a little more. I am deciding to link-to-FB only the stuff that is relevant to my family. I will still express my strategies here, but I won’t link them if I think they will bother people on FB.

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There is good news to report though. My synth project looks like it will be going uphill even though I had difficult moments with my budget. I managed to take apart half of my electronics table today. It was way too big and it was cumbersome to build prototype circuits on. I plan to keep the frame and then build it back up from there. It will be a slot smaller then what it was. I would be done with it today if my cordless drill/screwdriver was charged. I had to do a large part of dismantling by hand. I could not remember which parts were glued and which parts were only fastened with screws. So, I decided to use a screwdriver to carefully get apart the areas that was temperamental.

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As for my synth cabinets; I hope to get the first two made. In total it will be four cabinets that will be bolted together. Essentially it will be designed to come apart for travel. I hope to do some major updates on my website once I get my Windows computer back. I am on Linux until I get it back and its repaired. That means I don’t have the ability to put anything on my website due to the problems Wix has with Linux. My hard drive was going out of me and making a lot of noise when ever it boots up. It was either get it into the shop or wait till it finally dies and then spend even more money to recover everything.

[littlepebble10]

To FB From Tumblr

Face Book has made things really difficult for me being a writer, artist, and DIY’r. Its not just about the books I am writing or my website. If it was then I would be considering moving everything I want to protect to my website and then looking into deleting all the writings I posted directly to FB that concernes my books. Its not unlikely for a company to steal your work and it has happened to many creators and inventors over the span of history. However, I never became active on FB for my own entreprenuar career alone. I actually became active all those years ago to make friends and to eventually do collab with like minded people. I began collecting books and many types of materials for that reason. I have several hot glue guns and different areas for all the different areas needed for any collab. I don’t do things such as latch hook though.

If I had some one who wanted to create something like that in combination with my crafts they would have to bring their own tools at minimum. Actually I really would be satisfied with people who just came and visited while they did their projects. Face Book was a way for me to eventually become transparent with people and allow them to decide if they wanted to persue a friendship. Online I describe myself in two different ways. First I explain that I am a Christian, Babyfur, and Tulpamancer. Second I am a writer, artist, and DIY’r. While one explains my outward expression; the other explains how I express that in what I do. In face to face conversation I genrally say I am a young at heart Christian furry, an artist, and a writer. A lot more people are able to stomach this in person. In a digital presence I am a little more free to be a little more detailed.

On Face Book I compromize. At least within the recent years I decided to compromise. I use different methods when it comes to computers and the internet. I hate having to use Windows. Its expensive to maintain and there are limitations to adapting the OS when problems occur. Even if I learn the system on a programmers/developers level, I will have to rely on uninstalling updates instead of tweaking them like I do on Linux. I am still mastering the ability modify programs with Linux packages mind you, but at least its entirely accessible. Unlike Windows where not everything is open source. A greate deal has been made open source on Windows. I will give credit where credit is due. However, if I was to fix something on Windows it cost money for a GUI where on Linux it only cost me money in hardware or several hours of my time to search the forums for answers. You don’t even need to ask people. There has been many forums thats been made into a sort of library of what problems can occure. If I am still lost I ask.

Bac to my main point though. Face Book has made things difficult when it comes to having a sense of security with your legal name and your location. Once you add some one to your list they have access to all that information. Which by the way the information is required now. Before it was only required to have your legal name. Even then you could get away with using an alias of any type. Some people broke up their online name with a first and last name for websites like this. When you add the technical prolems with Linux an the cellphone app I am not sure if I can keep doing this. I have considered becoming completely transparent on FB and taking the plunge. Who ever sticks with me will be my true friends. Basically Face Book would become a shorthand version of my tumblr account. Hints why I am sharing this from there. If things continue to go down hill I will delete my account before New years 2022. I will delete it in the year of 2021 if that maes sense. When my books hit the shelves its safe to say my FB account will no longer exist. Especially if things continue to become overly political on FB.

[littlepebble10]

Been away for too long

I got reconnected to FB for a while. However, I am thinking about trying to be on here a bit more and giving it a better shot. I am going to fix this account up to be a tad bit more modest. I still want to show off my little side, but not seem entirely unapproachable. Its a therapeutic thing. People don’t have to see the deepest parts of it. Its not for attention anyway. :3

[fragile-lil-noodle]

💙 Pwease reblog if 💙

You are an agere/cglre/liltot blogger and are completely sfw

I can mass reblog from you

I can follow you

A positive/recorvery based blog

A babyre/babycore blog

💜💙💚💛🧡❤🧡💛💚💙💜

[littlepebble10]

I have not been very active in the past but, I hope to change that.

[wwhenimsmall]

I need more blogs to to follow! Like or reblog this post if you post:

Kidcore

Babycore

SFW age regression

Toycore

Disney

Sailor Moon

Studio Ghibli

Powerpuff Girls

Sanrio

Cartoons

Pastel

Primary colors

Or anything else along these lines!

[littlepebble10]

I will be posting more often now that summer is comming.

[katies-littlespace-deactivated2]

Tips for Kiddos who Can’t Regress!

Never force regressing! It will be stressful and could result in bad feelings!

Remember that regression droughts don’t last forever!! You will be little again soon!

Relax! Being little will get so much easier if you aren’t stressed!

Take some time out just for regressing! Having specific times to be little can help you regress!

Surround yourself in little gear!! Anything from kids shows to pacis will help you feel more little!

Talk to your caregiver!! If you have one they can help you feel small again!

And remember that you are still a valid and amazing little even if regressing is hard right now!

I hope these tips help and that all you amazing kiddos can feel smol again really soon!!

[littlepebble10]

I have been busy with college and life in general. I swear I have not abandoned this Tumblr Blog. On another note I really have not gotten into my little head space in a while and I found this to be inspiring.

[littlepebble10]

Unashamed of my Imagination

I want to get to where I can write and do art of my imagination without concern of what people think. This means writing in my diary out in the open more often and doing art even if its baby themed. I plan on trying to do some art today. I need to get some new art posted to my DA anyway. I also want to finalize the colors of my OC. Depending on time I might color my some line art of my OC to see how the colors work. Once I had it inked it smudged due to it being a cheep pen. I traced it and made corrections to make it fit with a background. 

I plan on coloring that if I have time today. I am going to be nervous doing it due to how it seems but, I am determined. I want to get to where I don’t care what people think and that means doing my art out in the open and I know when I start it will begin to get easier. 

https://www.deviantart.com/littlepebble10/art/LittlePebble10-OC-767791593

[friendly-animals]

Credits

[littlepebble10]

Either that is an orange and white cat or that is a white cat with an orange. ROFL

[littlepebble10]

Back to Church

My sleeping patterns have been messed up with college. This is the first Sunday in a long time that I am awake and confident enough to go to church. When I had a habit of going to church it always managed to boost my confidence. I am so needing that right now due to how I am loosing the determination I had when I started this semester.

I also hope to start going to church regularly. If I am going to find another like minded Christian then this would be a good start. I need some one who is an artist and a writer. Some one who will be a friend even though my coping mechanisms don’t make sense. A guy can dream cant he?!!!  

[littlepebble10]

So many things

I really can’t afford to spend too much time going over everything but, I thought I would post about a realization. I found that my aggravation and fear of what to come to be a pointless reaction. I know its obvious but, some how it still got to me. I know good and well that people have turned against me and will continue to do so. I also know people hate me merely because I am a Christian and will continue to do so. Especially if I my series of novels actually take flight as was promised to me by God.

Can I ask a stupid question? How many people actually succeeded at something without facing many hardships in their life? How many artists do you know had succeeded to make a living at doing nothing but, art? Although I have a rock solid plan to publish my story I am still facing many obstacles.

I hardly have time to write much less keep up with a blog. Which I am still working on making a new post. I just have been busy with life. Not to mention college. If I am to get a career that will pay for self publishing I have to focus on school as my priority. I know very good and well that I need to write. Especially because it affects my mentality when I don’t.

I write all this now because I wanted to make an update on why I have not been able to publish my new blog series yet. Also because I want people to know how foolish it is to allow life to get to you. I began to doubt because of how bad things look here in America. Where has God been but, there all along. 

[littlepebble10]

Little Pebbles Page Times ten

UPDATE

I know I said I was going to link the post when I made it on Blogger but, my college math class started and my mind was not in the zone. Even with the moments of time I had to work on it I knew I was not going to be able to finish and edit it to perfection. 

I asked my IRL mother to help edit it when I get the draft done. Over Christmas she seemed to be unsure of things. She asked if my childhood is the reason for using pacifiers. She also mentioned that she was afraid that she had not been nurturing enough to me. Which both of these questions bother me because my IRL mother is the reason I choose to never give up and to never abandon my faith in Christ.

I am also writing a narrative with my OC Little Pebble 10 to help me learn math more effectively. I hand sewn signatures together and glued the binding to the cover. I call it my math notebook slash diary. I am also having her help me edit that too. Simply because I am going to try and not only examine my inner child but, to try to discover the reasons why this relaxes me. 

All I really know about my inner child is that number one, God does not condemn it, and number two it is the most powerful coping mechanism I have. Even my prescribed meds don’t come close. Although I would never stop taking my meds, it is an incredible mechanism that allows me to not only focus but, to also overcome anxiety and depression. Imagining myself in a wonderland as a little dragon with the mentality of a 10 year old with baby-ish tendencies relaxes me.

End notes

Please hit the fallow/watch button so, you don’t miss out.Although I am not writing for attention, I find it very helpful to write out my problems. I also feel the most vulnerable when I post my writing but, I found that it wont get written unless I have something to keep me committed. I also heard an amazing pastor say that it is when you are vulnerable that your doing it right. So, please hit the fallow/watch button. I am not doing this just because it thrills me.  

[littlepebble10]

Diary Blog Preview

I was told never to let anyone sway me into believing something I know is wrong. At the same time I ask God for answers even though I am scared to know the truth. So far I have never received an answer that was painful to accept. Needless to say I wonder if I worry for nothing. Yes, I know I am not to worry but, the way things look it concerns me.

I have not went to Church in a while due to my weird sleep cycles I have been having. Also because the anxiety I have in large crowds. When I do go I always get a different message then I expect. I expect to be given a message that turns me away from my baby-ish tendencies. If anything it has me purify them in a way that surprisingly lines up with scripture. 

That is, I am not to allow my little side to consume me to the point of isolation. I am to not only continue to allow myself to use it but, to use it to meditate. My imagination has made a place where I could be myself before God. All my doubts and all my selfish desires are stripped away. It is in my wonderland that I realize how God is real and my calling to be a writer and an artist become more important than the voices telling me to hide in shame. 

End notes

I hope to have this Blog post up Tuesday night. I am going to try and finish writing the draft Saturday. I will be editing it Sunday and Monday. I think it is very important for me to finish it not because I want people to read it but, because it helps me sort out all my problems that seem to at the focus. It does not help when I run from them so, I will continue my blog no matter how I feel about people reading it.   

[littlepebble10]

Scene from my writing

Rosetta sat at Molly’s bedside. Bound and determined to get her out of the room. It has been a month and a half since the report of Sally’s death. The report was not clear as they have yet to do the bio-exam of her body. Knowing that cat was the leader of her teenage band and possibly the best friend she ever had it could not have been easy. Somehow that did not change the fact that she could not stay like this forever. 

Trapped in her room where its the only place she could use her pacifier to self sooth that pain away. Although Rosetta never fully understood how a piece of plastic could help but, it seemed like it lessened the overall emotional pain she was in. Somehow that gave her a new idea. Well a compromise on her part at least.

“Molly I may not ever know how hard this must be for you but, please I need you. I need my little kitty to be strong and I understand that you do not wish to leave this room right now. I tell ya what. I will let you use your pacifier outside this room if you would at least accompany me at the coffee shop.

“I know that there is not a whole lot going on in the army arena right now anyway/. Look if I have to drag you and that fluffy tail of yours I will do it and force you like a little...”

Before she could finish she heard her sit up. Letting her paci fall and catch on the clip she said her first words in perhaps decades. Or at least it seamed that way. “Actually coffee sounds wonderful right now.”

Molly grabbed her pacifier cradle and put her paci in it after she took it off the clip. Then she set the pink clip and the rapped the tail of it unceremoniously so that it would not fall off her bedside table. Taking a deep breadth and wiping her eyes she prepared herself to leave her room. 

With that Rosetta and Molly headed to the coffee shop.

To be continued...

That is if I get some followers :P  

Also please do not steal my work. I don’t mind anyone using similar ideas but, please be creative in your own way and make it yours the right way. Lastly thanks for reading!!!

[littlepebble10]

Short and sweet

God did not call for layers. He called for you to get out of the boat and walk on the water. He called you to fallow him regardless of what people think. I know for me he has called me to be a writer and an artist. Part of that is being that of a little child. The whole story however has yet to be written. He did not call for layers so, when its published it will be everything I faced metaphorically and literally.

[littlepebble10]

My reasoning with life

In the beginning life made sense. Sure I was unsure about what I wanted to do with my life but, I knew I wanted to build things. Sometimes I wonder if anything I do matters. I know exactly the direction I should be headed but, it does not always make sense.

Come to think of it I always knew how to connect the dots. Interpreting the lines and symbols has been the hard part. When I first started to take art and writing seriously I knew it was right but, little did I know how hard it will be to create a fantasy sci-fi that will take flight.

My work as an Engineer will always be important to me. Not only do I enjoy the challenge but, it in turn can pay for my book series and art. Again I wonder if anything I do matters. Looking at my Tulpas and imagination: however, I owe them to at least try. My Tulpas deserve a chance to get noticed. Perhaps people would understand when they see who they are. I know Molly and her story explains a lot.   

[littlepebble10]

The point of “H”

Sometimes I get in that very wrong idea where I have to feel pain to be real. Have I missed my anti-depressants a couple of times? Perhaps I just want to feel things again. That: however, is a lie I seem to accept and then I come to remind myself painfully of the truth. This is not functional!

The important part of healing is knowing your still who you need to be. Yet, your never going to be perfect. My depression is a result of a chemical imbalance. There are times I feel like I am crying over pointless things and other times I am convinced that I am more aware of the problems I need to fix.

Truth be told I would not be myself unless I allow myself to have the anti-depressants. Oh how tempting it is to try the natural alternatives. I know all too well that I am dependent on a pill and that scares me when my insurance threatens to not pay for something. Regardless of the circumstances I know that God has everything under control.

My Babyfur coping for example works when something goes wrong. When ever I think about it on a realistic view point its not a childish thing at all. Its healing, its a place without judgment, and a place I can be myself. As a matter of fact I find it soothing to hold a pacifier in my mouth.

Especially when I am doing something like complex math. I tend to clench my teeth in frustration when I cant seem to find the correct value or answer to  a problem. Homework would be impossible if not painful if it was not for my coping mechanisms. 

That is the point of “H.” The point of “H” is always graphed through being U over being Real. Healing and a state of Happiness is through the function of being U because you can only be U. That is what Being-U-tiff-full is all about.   

[littlepebble10]

Christmas aftermath

I got home and been doing a lot of cleaning and organizing. I spent Christmas at my parents house but, I left my apartment a mess. I am taking a break from it now going over all the places I am on the net.

I got a big stuffed animal as one of my gifts. I still don’t know what to name her. I also got an oscilloscope for my career in engineering. I plan on making a synth and a blog on blogger for the project. More on that later.

Christmas was great but, I am glad to be back home and be getting back into my routine of things. I hope to be finished cleaning and organizing by the time College classes start back up again.