Light Vs. Dark

Tristan Rae Shepherd. 18. Some say I'm the nice one, a heart of gold and endless kindness, some say I'm a cold hearted bitch, vindictive and brutal. Believe them both, I act accordingly.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[sophie-baek]

[littleraeoftristan]

cam-karev​:

He loved seeing her smile. It used to be so difficult to even get a closed lip smile out of her and now she smiles with her entire face. He grabbed the coffee mug as she settled into his side. He started to take small drinks of his coffee while she spoke looking over at Micah while he tugged and threw the blanket around taking breaks to put it in his mouth. Cameron had never imagined he would live in a house with a steady girlfriend and a child, it was never one of the possibilities he thought about when thinking about his future. This was something that was unobtainable but it was right here in front of him. Cameron had always wondered what would have happened if she hadn’t had been pregnant, if he would’ve been able to bring her back from her breaking point. As he realized she was waiting for his input, he cleared his throat before continuing. “Adoption is a great idea we just have to be aware of how our kids feel about it. I feel like I got along well with Austin for the most part because she was an only child. If we’re going to have a lot of kids they might form some kind of weird clique system like you and your siblings have and not let the new one in. It’s not a sensitive topic for me I just want to make sure everyone in the household is happy and taken care of, you know?” Cam patted her outer thigh with a smile, “We’ll get there. Let’s just have these kids and get them to kindergarten first and we can go from there. Deal?” As she agreed he leaned forward to kiss the top of her head. “I know I promised a lazy day in bed but I’m getting hungry.” He let out a little laugh before putting the coffee mug back on the nightstand. 

Tristan nodded as Cam explained the potential concerns with adopting and it made a lot of sense, while she and her siblings all could get along really well, there had definitely been cliques that formed. “Makes sense, we’ll see where we’re at in the future.” Leaning in she gave Cam a happy kiss. “I just want babies forever, they’re so cute like this.” She said, looking over at Micah as he made little babble noises, they were getting louder and louder and more unique the older he got. “Breakfast sounds good, how about some waffles, might soak up that left over alcohol on your stomach.” She got up and made grabby hands towards Mikey and he started babbling ‘mama’ as he reached out for her too, blanket still firmly held in one hand. “Meet you downstairs, handsome.” She gave him a little wink, knowing he still needed to pull on some boxers and maybe a pair of basket ball shorts before they started their day. “You know how lucky we are? Your daddy loves us so much, we don’t deserve him.” She gave Micah a little kiss before putting him in his saucer and turning on some music as she started up breakfast, ready for an easy day ahead with her happy family.

[littleraeoftristan]

cam-karev​:

“I guess I never thought of it like that. They just kind of saved me from a bad home and it took a long time to even consider them my parents. I’ve never really experienced this nice family thing.” He squeezed her hand tighter letting out a little laugh with her. “I’m in. Even if I wanted to walk away from you, which I don’t, I couldn’t leave little man. I want to see his life out, I don’t want him to think he has to go down that same path as his dad did either. I’m here for all of us, this is the happiest I’ve been in my entire life.” Cam let go of her hand and motioned for her to lay on his chest and as she did he wrapped that arm around her and rubbed her side. “How many kids do you want, Tris? Tell me about it. Let’s discuss our future. I think we gotta out do Alex and Jess so I can be the best dad at the family function so I’m thinking we shoot for three.” He teased before looking over at Micah, “You ready for a full house buddy? You’re gonna be the big bro you gotta protect them from the BS.”

Tristan nodded. “Well of course you didn’t because once you were a part of the family, like actually believed it and could be happy you knew they loved you. Work didn’t affect that. And it won’t for us either.” Her smile grew as he said he was happy. “We’ve grown up a lot and I know you weren’t expecting it, but I love you for taking this all on like it was our responsibility and not just my own. And you love Mikey like I know Ash would have. I never thought this would be my future, but I don’t think I’ve ever been happier either.” She gave him a kiss before moving to lay on his chest, using her legs to keep Micah wrangled in safe between them, but he was sufficiently distracted by the baby blanket she’d brought in with him. “Oh yeah? Well I was thinking 3-4 would be perfect, a full jam packed home, though if we pop out twins I’m going to need a break. Plus I think I really want a girl even though I know I don’t want her to be like me, I just think you’d be so different with a daughter. Have a little daddy’s girl.” She looked down at Micah. “I had no purpose until I had him, it’s still crazy to think of where I’d be now if everything hadn’t happened. I’d even love to look into adoption if you’d be interested. I know that’s a further down the line when I’m out of school and we’re legally bound together so it looks better to the courts, but.. I’d like to give someone a mom who doesn’t have one if that doesn’t hit too close to home for you.”

[littleraeoftristan]

cam-karev​:

“It’s not my body, Tris.” He watched her reach out to hold his hand before Micah made his way into the middle of them still holding onto Cam’s hair. “If you’re ready, we can be ready. If this is what you want, a family with me then we can do this.” Cam gave her another small smile, “It’s your body, your kids, your family. If there is a certain way you want this structed tell me where to go and I’ll be there. I just don’t want you to get overwhelmed and everything with me not being here. I don’t want them to think that I don’t care about them because I’m not here, you know?”  Micah fell onto his butt in-between them causing Cameron to let out a little laugh, “I guess I’m just anxious about letting you guys down. I don’t want to be a deadbeat like my dad who only cared about himself but I want to provide and be someone for them to look up to.” 

“It’s my body, yes, but it’s our kids. Our life. Our family. You have to start thinking of yourself as part of this equation. I love you so fucking much and I’m so proud of what you’re doing. When Mikey grows up he’s going to know his dad loves him, you know why? Because you do and you already don’t want to be like your dad.. and I’ll remind him every day and any time that you can’t be here.” She assured, leaning over to kiss Micah’s head as he plopped between them. “What you want is important too, your work is important and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you taking on the responsibility while I go to school. Working doesn’t make you a bad parent, trust me, my parents weren’t around.. hardly ever. Like yours, do you think Alex is a deadbeat dad because he works all the time? He loves you and he’s taking care of you while living his life and doing what he is passionate about.” Tristan tried to reassure him. “I want us to make this decision because you are not just a cop and you are not just a wallet, you’re my best friend and partner in all of this. And I’d love to have your babies just about as much as I’d love to just keep trying to have one-” She snickered. “-but only if you’re willing to handle the responsibility. And I hate to say this, but... as it is you have an out still. You could decide this isn’t for you and I have no right to hold that against you and if another one is too much commitment right now then I understand.”

[littleraeoftristan]

cam-karev​:

Cam held up a cautious arm to keep him from falling off the bed continuing his smiling glances between the two of them, “I think I’m okay. Headache but I’ve had worse. I’ll probably drink some after little man finds a spot to sit. Cam playfully bit at Micah’s fingers as they continued to pat all over his face. “Dada?” Cam said back at him with a smile. “Good job, buddy! You’re getting the hang of those words so fast.” He looked over at Tristan as their son started grabbing his hair, “Are you sure we can handle two of these?” He had remembered her saying something but the bulk of that night was just a blur. She seemed taken back causing him to get nervous and interject, “At least I think that’s what you said to me? Unless I said it to you in a disrespectful way then just banish me to the couch because yeah.” He gave her a small laugh before reaching out his free hand to grab hers as she seemed to ponder on words to say.

Tristan was watching the two of them, still smiling when Cam looked over at her. She wasn’t sure how to bring up the fact that they definitely had had unprotected sex the night before and if they weren’t sure about things she should probably run to get a plan B. “Are you?” Holding his hand back, she moved to sit more cross legged in the bed, facing Cam a bit more. “I.. love being a mom, I genuinely didn’t think I would because I was so terrified, but he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me and you’re a close second.” She reached out to run her hand over Micah’s head. “And I love having siblings close in age to me, so realistically yeah I’d like to have another one soon, but I understand if you’re not ready. And if you’re not, just be forward with me. It’s okay, I promise, I won’t even make you sleep on the couch. I can go run to CVS and we can plan things out later down the line if you want.”

[littleraeoftristan]

cam-karev​:

Cam continued to hold onto her until he feel asleep and his grip loosened. Waking up to a blaring alarm sound from somewhere in the room, he sat up with a groan. “What the fuck…” He grumbled out, climbing to the foot of the bed to take his phone out of his pants and turn off the alarm before laying back down. Reaching his left hand up to his face to rub it to try and get rid of some of the pain and pressure while letting out a loud yawn, “I have the day off. I must’ve forgot to turn off my stupid fucking alarm.” He wrapped his arms around her and let out another yawn. Cam apologized a few more times before falling back asleep only to wake up to Micah crawling on his chest. “Oh, hey bud.” Cam said groggily struggling to open his eyes but smiling when he finally did to the little face smiling up at him. “Hey bud, you gonna join me and mommy for a lazy day in bed?” He looked over at the messy haired blonde laying next to him now in a bra and pajama shorts, “Good morning, beautiful. Did you get some sleep after my alarm went off?”

Tristan gave a sleepy ‘yay’ when Cam reminded her he had the day off. “Go back to sleep.” She barely hummed out before falling back to sleep herself, Cam not far behind. Baby babbles woke her up maybe thirty to fourty-five minutes later and Tristan reached out to turn the volume down on the monitor as she watched Micah wiggle around. He’d been a little less snuggly lately, some mornings he woke up fully alive and could just sit in his crib and talk and entertain himself for a good 20 minutes before he started really getting fussy. Others he woke up grumbling and demanding mom’s attention which was quite cute now that he was getting the hang of saying mama. Quietly, Tristan got up and tugged on pajama shorts and her bra before heading downstairs to start coffee. She took a couple aspirin herself before grabbing a couple more for Cam and pouring him a coffee as well. Heading upstairs, she put the mug and aspirin on his nightstand and went to go grab Micah who was kicking the foot of his crib. “Hey you stop that.” A squealing laugh made Tristan grin and keep up her playful scolding. Once he’d been changed and ate, she took him back into their bedroom and told him to ‘get daddy’ as she got in on her own side. “Say heck yeah, lazy bed days are the best.” Micah just giggled and blew spitty little raspberries as he crawled around dad and the center of the bed. “Good morning, I did, thankfully. I was pretty wiped. You feeling okay?” She said with a little yawn before gesturing over to his side table if he wanted his coffee. “Oh no, don’t tug on daddy’s beard Mikey.” Tristan reached out to redirect where his hand was reaching to, but he just made a little screeching sound and put his hand on Cam’s face, over the tip of his nose and lips. “Da-da.” The grin that spread across Tristan’s face was so full of love as she watched her son verbally acknowledge Cam as his dad for the first time. “Yeah, buddy that’s dada.” “Dada.” Micah repeated still staring down at Cam. 

[slmbngmz]

[steamingresourcetrash]

[insecuregifs]

Insecure HBO

[rabipie-deactivated]

[littleraeoftristan]

cam-karev​:

He raised his eyebrows as she asked if that was a threat or a promise, “Oh we’re being bold tonight?” He let out a small laugh, “Okay… okay.” He picked her up quickly causing her to let out a small giggle. As they got closer to the bed, he tossed her into the middle of it causing her to squeal. Looking over her Cameron was unsure of where this thing even started or clasped together. Grabbing onto the key hole opening of her panties he ripped them in half causing her to gasp and try to kick him. “You’re just making my job easier.” He let out a laugh before grabbing onto her thighs and beginning to eat her out. Her moans and whimpers danced around his ears causing him to continue even as her thighs tightened around his face and her heels dug into his back. He finally stopped and pulled away from her as her trembling form crawled backwards on the mattress to the solace of the headboard. With a smirk, he stood up taking off his belt and pants, “You’re serious about this? No condom?”  Tristan still trying to catch her breath nodded causing him to laugh as he got back on the bed, “And you’re fully aware I don’t have the capacity to pull out?” She rolled her eyes and reached out to pull him on top of her.  They continued to make out as he finally found the clasps on her bra garter belt. Before Cam had always tried to control himself in the bedroom, not wanting to hurt her or make her uncomfortable. Being inebriated had caused him to have no inhibitions in the bedroom tonight. He moved from kissing her to her neck and chest before slipping himself inside. She was heaven, she was earth, she was everything. Cameron started growling into her neck, biting her skin, and gripping onto her tightly. The sex wasn’t extremely long, a short wrestle of passion, with marks that he had left on her that he knew would last for days. As she slowly stopped riding him and collapse onto his chest, he let go of his tight grip he had on her hips and moved his hands to her back to hold her. His dominant hand gripped her opposing shoulder, “I love you.” Cameron said softly to her as the lack of volume in the room made him afraid to speak above a whisper. 

Tristan had never really seen Cam get this way in bed in the past, but it was certainly a ride she was happy to take. Despite him ruining the panties to her new lingerie set, she made a mental note to surprise him more often. When he kept asking if she was sure she let out a little laugh. “Are you?” It certainly wasn’t a long or wild affair, but Cam was close to drunk and Tristan was decently tipsy herself, so they were both spent and happy decently quickly. “I love you too.” She whispered back between heavy breaths as she lifted her head off his shoulder to smile down at him. “Happy birthday, handsome.” She went to move off him and not smother him, but his arm stayed in place across her back, so she settled in against him for the night. Too early the next morning, his alarm was going off and she groaned, somehow back on her side of the bed. “Don’t get up.. Micah isn’t even up. Stay. Call out.” She sleepily whined as she moved to wrap her arm and leg around him. “You’re trapped. You can’t leave.”

[littleraeoftristan]

cam-karev​:

one last present

Cam had the best birthday. It started at the station where they had brought in a bunch of donuts and his sergeant told him his application to become a K9 unit was approved. After he got off work, he went home to get changed before Tristan took him along with Alex and Jessica out to GameWorks for his birthday dinner. When they got back it was almost midnight and he tried not to seem as intoxicated as he was when thanking his mom for watching Micah while they went out. She wished him a happy birthday before they hugged and she exited the home. Tristan said she was going to check on Micah so with a nod he told her he would be up in a minute. He the leftover dessert in the fridge before slowly making his way up the stairs. Getting to the top of the stairs, he noticed Micah’s door was closed so he decided to go check their bedroom first. Pushing open the door, he called out in what he assumed to be a quiet whispering tone but it wasn’t, “Babe? Are you in here?” She let out a laugh. “Cmon, you can’t play hide and seek now. That’s like an easy W.” He walked over to the bathroom and she wasn’t in there. “Babe!” As he turned around, she was stepping out of the closet wearing a full set of lingerie. “Holy shit.” He whispered as she started to walk over to him, “You can’t play with me like this I’m about to put a baby in you for real.” As she got closer to him, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close to him. 

Tristan loved celebrating people’s birthdays, Austin was the best party planner though, so they often worked together for Nicole’s birthdays and this year they planned out something fun and simple for Cam’s. She didn’t want to go too overboard and overwhelm him or make him uncomfortable, but wanted to do something with his friends as just a reminder of how much he was loved and appreciated, especially after a long day at work. Jess and her even got in on the games after they ate and still managed to make it back home at a reasonable time. Once they were back home, she gave Cam a quick kiss and left him to check and lock up downstairs while she popped her head into Micah’s room, grinning at her son who was spread eagle in his little crib with his Sophie resting under one arm. Leaning over the crib, she placed a kiss on his head before heading into their room. She had one final surprise for Cam’s birthday and she snuck into the closet to quickly get changed. “No one’s home.” She sang out with a little laugh as Cam started to look for her. Making sure to attach the garter straps to her lacey thigh highs and check herself in the mirror, Tris gave her hair one last tousle before she stepped out and walked over to him. “Oh is that so? Is that a threat or a promise?” She teased as she wrapped her arms around his neck and wiggled herself up against him. “Do you not like it? I could take it off.. though I thought you might like to do the honors.”

[celibacy]

In the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me, then he slapped my ass and said “back to business.” I’m going to marry him.

[rose-sagittarius]

[courspourtavie]

[bunnybbydoll]