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[littlewatsonholmes-archive]

texts from last night meme 2 (nsfw)

[text]: THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD

[text]: I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.

[text]: I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.

[text]: the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?

[text]: He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look

[text]: I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.

[text]: Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?

[text]: Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex

[text]: was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??

[text]: They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.

[text]: New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.

[text]: Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.

[text]: its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight

[text]: I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life

[text]: At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.

[text]: It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.

[text]: You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.

[text]: 'go have sex with her' does not count as wingman

[text]: someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless

[text]: You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.

[text]: Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you

[text]: Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?

[text]: Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??

[text]: You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.

[text]: Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation

[venividivicii-blog]

Pirates of the Caribbean sentence meme! Quotes from all four movies under the cut - 300 total! Send in a sentence or send in ☠ for a random starter!

1. A wedding? I love weddings! Drinks all around! 2. Best start believing in ghost stories. You’re in one. 3. I feel nothing. 4. You’ve seen a ship with black sails that’s crewed by the damned, and captained by a man so evil that Hell itself spat him back out? 5. But I have seen a ship with black sails. 6. So this is where your heart truly lies, then? 7. I’m actually feeling rather good about this. 8. I thought I had you figured. Turns out you’re a hard man to predict. 9. A dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. 10. Honestly, it’s the honest ones you have to watch out for. 11. So we’re all men of our word, really. 12. Well, you’ve proven they’re mad. 13. That’s not much incentive to fight fair then, is it? 14. In a fair fight, I’d kill you. 15. Put it away. It’s not worth getting beat again. 16. I want you to leave and never come back. 17. I’m disinclined to acquiesce to your request. Means ‘no’. 18. Well, I suppose if it is worthless there’s no point in me keeping it. 19. The code is more what you’d call ‘guidelines’ than actual rules. 20. One good deed is not enough to save a man from a lifetime of wickedness.

Keep reading

[flowercrownyuriarchive]

oooooh look, another list of aus for your writing pleasure:  [sorry if any of these have already been done!]

+ you’re the cute barista and i’m the indie artist who plays at your coffee shop. i’m totally doing it for the pay and not to stare at your face for three hours every week, what are you talking about. + i’m the librarian and you’re the person who, in an attempt to flirt, just asked me if we carry books here. + you discreetly come into my bookstore every day just to play with my cat that i let wander. you think i don’t notice, but i totally do. don’t worry; it’s freaking adorable. + you are the lead singer of a rock band, and i’m the fan who you just called up on stage to sing a song with you. wow, you are way hotter in person and now i just forgot every lyric of yours ever. + you’re the cute trainer at the gym and i just fell off my treadmill because i couldn’t stop staring at you.  + we’re the only two people in this theater and i’m taking note of all the parts of the film that make you laugh so i can talk to you after.  + you’re selling cookies for your sister’s girl scout troop and you’re so adorable and awkward while doing it that i buy fifteen boxes. + you just started telling me your life story on the bus without even giving me your name first, and wait did you just say that you’re involved in the mafia?!  + you’re the tech guru on campus and i keep getting viruses on my computer just so i can come talk to you.  + we’re rival vloggers who are forced to do a panel together at vidcon, but it’s hard to despise you when you’re that much cuter in person.  + you’re an actor on my favorite tv show and i’m your biggest fan. needless to say that when i meet you for the first time, i get so excited that i accidentally punch you in the face.  + you’re a pirate and you were unaware about your feelings for me until a siren took my image.  + you’re my tutor but i keep getting distracted because you’re so pretty. + even though i’m about to be carted off to the er after my car accident, i’m still gonna try to flirt with you, the cute emt.  + i’m an escort but not that type of escort. if you play your cards right though, i could be.  + i own an esty shop and you’re the cute worker at the post office i keep running into. 

[anothergaystoner]

To all the guys binding this summer

-Jean vests are your best friend they keep you cool and cover your chest.

-Drink large amounts of water. Layers means heat and dehydration.

-If your binder is showing under your tank top, nobody cares. They’ll probably assume its an undershirt or none of their business.

-This wont be forever. One day you will never have to bind again and you’ll be able to swim, run, and wear what ever you want. Keep on keeping on.

[ftmconfessions]

Please stay safe in the summer, be careful of over heating. Know your body enough to know when you can and can’t bind.

[pigletzord-your-porcine-lor-blog]

Also a reminder that rash guards are a thing and no one will think twice about you wearing one, just saying. You can still swim without showing the world your chest. 

Also I love you.

[super-musings-and-memes]

A/B/O-Verse Starters

[mischixvous-blog]

super-musings-and-memes:

“I want to be with you, but we’re both (alphas/omegas). It would never work.”

“I don’t really care that you’re a beta- you’re better than any (alpha/omega) i’ve ever met.”

“I’m sorry, but I just don’t wanna have pups.”

“Oh shit, are you going into (heat/rut)?”

“Are you giving off pheromones or do you just smell really good today?”

“This never would have happened if you’d just take your suppressants like everyone else!”

“You asshole! I can’t believe you bit me after I specifically told you not to!”

“We need to stop hanging out as much, I think. Everyone says I smell like you, and it keeps scaring off potential mates.”

“I don’t give a shit about that barbaric territory marking trend- if you ever piss on me again, I will seriously hurt you!”

“Hey, it’s your call. But if you don’t claim me soon, someone else might.”

“You think it’s so easy being an (alpha/omega/beta)? You have no idea what it’s like!”

“I’m, uh.. i’m real sorry I got slick all over your couch…”

“I’ve always wondered what it would be like to (knot/be knotted by) another alpha.”

“We are not doing that again, ever. Your knot is way too big.”

“Oh god, I think our cycles have synced up.”

“I know you’re in rut too, I can smell it. How about a fight? Winner gets to mount the loser.”

“I wanna suck you off, but i’m scared you’ll choke me with your knot…”

“Could you please walk with me? I don’t feel safe here- too many alphas around…”

“I know we’re both (omegas/alphas), but I really think we could make this work.”

“Why would you want me? Don’t you know i’m a beta? You should be with an (alpha/omega), not me…”

“You’re the only other alpha i’d ever submit to.”

“I’ve always wondered what it would be like to fuck another omega in heat.”

“I know it’s not the same, but you could just lube me up real good and pretend i’m an omega.”

“You’re a sexist goddamn pig, you know that? Omegas aren’t here to serve you.”

“I’m sorry I interrupted, but that alpha gives me a bad vibe and I just.. I didn’t like the way (he/she) was looking at you…”

“I’m getting real fucking sick of these secondary gender roles!”

“You just think (he/she) is a slut because (he/she) is an omega. You wouldn’t think that if (he/she) was an alpha.”

“Sorry, but I only date betas. Less drama, y’know?”

“Ugh, alphas are all the same.”

“I can’t go today- I missed my suppressants and threw my whole schedule off.”

“I’m really only attracted to (male/female) (alphas/omegas/betas).”

“No, I don’t wanna breed with anyone. I’m asexual.”

“Why is every alpha and omega in this place so obsessed with sex?”

“Honestly, I find the whole knotting thing to be super gross. I can’t even look at someone’s dick when they’ve got a knot going.”

“You’ve got to be the most (submissive alpha/dominant omega) i’ve ever met.”

“Primary gender, secondary gender, blah blah blah- who cares, I just wanna get laid!”

“Jesus, you’re burning up! Are you in (heat/rut)?”

“For their sake, I really hope none of our kids turn out to be omegas. I know that sounds awful, but I just want life to be as easy for them as possible.”

“I’m an alpha male, for fuck’s sake! You can’t even hurt my feelings!”

“I’m an omega female, for fuck’s sake! I can’t even walk down the street alone!”

“Not this double standard bullshit again! I bet betas never have to deal with this!”

“Look, we’re just friends, okay? Sure, (he/she) is an (alpha/omega), but that doesn’t automatically mean there’s anything between us!”

“I’d never go down on an omega in heat. Slick tastes absolutely disgusting to me.”

“You need to calm down and rest. You’re so heatsick, you’re not thinking straight.”

“You only ever invite me over when you’re in (heat/rut). Is that all i’m good for to you?”

[littlewatsonholmes-archive]

//just a heads up, AP exams are this upcoming week which is why my activity has been like.. really little. I’ll still be rebloging memes and all, but I probably won’t get to them until after the 8th

[amysmemes]

Send me a Σ

and I’ll generate a number 1-30 and give us a lyric for a starter!

PANIC! AT THE DISCO AND FALL OUT BOY EDITION!

[amysmemes]

Keep reading

[littlewatsonholmes-archive]

Terrible Pick-Up Lines Meme

"Do you know what would look good on you? Me."

"Excuse me, I am about to go home to masturbate and needed a name to go with the face."

"Fuck me if I am wrong, but you want to screw me, don't you?"

"Hey, want to play house? I could be the door, and you could slam me all night long."

"How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?"

"I do floors, doors, windows, and you."

"I wish you were a screen door, so I can slam you all day long."

"If I flip a coin, what are the chances of me getting head?"

"Is that crotch sweat, or are you just happy to see me?"

"If I was a skateboard and you were a ramp, I would grind you all night."

"If I was your coworker, I'd sexually harass you."

"If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right leg Christmas, can I visit you between the Holidays?"

"I’m tired. You’re tired. Let’s sleep together!"

"Let's bypass all the bullshit and just get naked."

"Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down."

"Life is like a dick. When it gets hard, 'Fuck it'."

"My face is leaving in fifteen minutes. Be on it."

"Remember my name. you'll be screaming it later."

"Roses are red, violets are blue. I like spaghetti, let's go screw."

"That dress looks very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you, I'd be coming, too."

"Wanna play some football? We can both be skins."

"What are you doing tonight? Besides me?"

"Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under."

"You are what you eat, and tonight I want to be you."

"You must be a cold shower, because I'd love to be inside of you."

"You must not have air conditioning because I'm your fan and you're turning me on."

"You remind me of my pink toe; you're small, you're cute, and I'm probably going to bang you on my coffee table later tonight."

"You wanna go skinny dipping in my water bed?"

[heartfullyferal]

Closed//bakerstreetramblings

[bakerstreetramblings]

“Right, good. I suppose.” Sherlock returned softly, eyes wandering first to the floor then the wall opposite, staring forwards blankly. At least she would be okay. For now.

[heartfullyferal]

“Mm.” She hummed, leaning her head back against the pillow and looking up at the ceiling.

“…do you, know what happened…? Did you see…” She asked him quietly, turning her head to look at her brother again.

[bakerstreetramblings]

His eyes trailed up to meet hers, having strayed before to remember the event. “I’ll have to look in to it for his face. But apparently… ” his brow furrowed in thought as he replayed the scene in his mind. “He got you from the front. Entirely premeditated. He knew where we would be, when. And that it would be crowded enough to distract focus away from him.”

[littlewatsonholmes-archive]

{{like this for a starter~~}}

[tittytron]

tumblr friendships are hard to maintain like im sorry i know i havent talked to you in 5 months but you’re still super rad and i still consider us friends im just dumb

[ironbound-oberon]

#if you’re wondering if this is for you #it’s probably for you

[marvel-indiehelp]

Hozier lyrics meme

“I should’ve worshipped her sooner.”

“Every Sunday’s getting more bleak.”

“We were born sick.”

“The only heaven I’ll be sent to is when I’m alone with you.”

“I was born sick, but I love it.”

“Good God, let me give you my life.”

“She demands a sacrifice.”

“Get something shiny.”

“This is hungry work.”

“There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin.”

“Offer me that deathless death.”

“I’ll worship you like a dog at the shrine of your lies.”

“It’s bloody and raw, but I swear it is sweet.”

“So tired trying to see from behind the red in my eyes.”

“And, Lord, she found me just in time.”

“Call me baby.”

“Sit back and watch the world go by.”

“Don’t take this the wrong way…”

“Honey, there is no right way.”

“I fall in love just a little.”

“Would things be easier if there was a right way?”

“All I’ve ever done is hide.”

“But you don’t know what the hell you put me through!”

“It feels good to be alone with you.”

“Honey, we should run away.”

“Babe, there’s something tragic about you.”

“Don’t you agree?”

“I’m so full of love I could barely eat.”

“She give me toothaches just from kissin’ me.”

“No grave can hold my body down.”

“When my baby found me, I was three days on a drunken sin.”

“I didn’t care much how long I lived.”

“She never asked me once about the wrong I did.”

[littlewatsonholmes-archive]

{{like this for a starter~~}}

[littlewatsonholmes-archive]

{{like this for a starter~~}}

[dontyouwantmeonthefloor-ar--blog]

Sherlock latched his little finger with the others, “I promise, alright?” he said, looking at the other with a slight smile.

[littlewatsonholmes-archive]

“I guess it’s all right, then.” Hamish said, shaking their two fingers to make it official.

[dontyouwantmeonthefloor-ar--blog]

“I know..” Sherlock sighed, “I’m sorry,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest and wincing slightly as he did so. “I shall next time, I promise.”

[littlewatsonholmes-archive]

“Do you promise?” he asked, extending his little finger out for a pinkie promise. It was childish yes and certainly not something a sixteen year old should be doing, but he didn’t particularly care.

[dontyouwantmeonthefloor-ar--blog]

"I don’t disappear on you, I always come back," Sherlock said with a sigh, frowning at the other.

[littlewatsonholmes-archive]

“But half the time you don’t even give me a heads up o when you’re going to b leaving.” he sighed. “Sending a stupid text wouldn’t kill you.”