umm so its been a while since i posted a rant, not because things are getting better or wtv, actually idk why i havent been ranting, ive got sm to say, but anyway... its the 7th of august and i have been spending my summer doing absolutely NOTHING, like, i dont mind bedrotting or wtv and i dont feel like going to the beach esp since im not comfortable in my body and I HATE sand, my parents are also alot like my mum's mum has gotten diagnosed with cancer and my mum is going through some kind of religious psychosis because of it? like im no therapist or anything but its actually wild how religious she became, which makes it harder for me (someone whos very much Anti-theist), but i genuinely cant even blame her because its her coping mechanism with the bad news, and i get it but idk why im so selfish, anyway my dad part... well a quick recap, my parents are seperated, but theyre not divorced, so like this year i went to live w my dad cuz he gave me plenty of fake promisses and i was genuinely tired of my mum she was putting me through hell, with her yelling and nagging all the time and unstability she puts me through w her undecisiveness and moodswings, so the me moving out w dad went horrid, he was such an asshole to me, beating me and hitting me, aswell as not even buying me a closet to put my clothes in or a desk to study on, so yeah, i moved back in with my mom and im going back to the same school i got bullied in throughout all of 7th and 8th grade so thats going amazing for me too!! also im going to visit my aunt with whom my grandma is staying with, and my sister is planning on running away there and im so scared, like i know she'll be okay since she'll go to the police and everything but im scared of how my parents will treat me since im staying with them but most importantly im scared for my grandma!! she already has metastatic cancer so its not looking very good for her, aswell as her moral being very down since she literally has cancer and has to pay like 100k euros just to keep living, and now the scandal that my sister will cause, i do understand the suffering my older sister went through and that shes younger and should prioritize her well being but im just torn, i know im not going to snitch or anything because at the end of the day, once my grandma or like my whole family really realizes im an atheist they'll FOR SURE kick me out or disown me! and my sister would never so!! but i still love them all so much no matter what, i just hope everything will be okay, anyway if u have any advice to give lmkk!! and if u need help or need to vent im here!! love uuu!!!
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