I was looking through my old tumblr right now. I’ve been struggling with my weight for the last year because of my birth control and the affect it has on my water weight and appetite. So sometimes when I look at pictures of myself from a year and a half ago-two years ago I’m reminded of how skinny I was... but also how much inner turmoil I had. I was thin but severely depressed to the point that I hit some deep lows and contemplated taking my life. I’m up a few sizes but I’m also in a better place with my mental health and self esteem. The fact that I’m turning 25 this year scares me too and I think that’s part of the reason why I like to look back at the person I used to be. I made my old tumblr when I was a junior in high school and it’s the only online account that I never deleted or re-started. It holds a lot of sentimental value and I get nostalgic looking at some posts but I think I mostly like to look back as positive affirmation. Becoming a “real adult” is scary as fuck but I’ve become more sure of myself over the years, I don’t care as much if people don’t like me, and I’ve learned how to take care of myself and put myself first. It’s a cliche but all of the bullshit that I’ve gone through has really made me better person, a happier person.
