trying to find my way to shore @uncertainwaters - Tumblr Blog

"So that just as to assure elimination of economic classes requires the revolt of the underclass (the proletariat) and, in a temporary dictatorship, their seizure of the means of production, so to assure the elimination of sexual classes requires the revolt of the underclass (women) and the seizure of control of reproduction: not only the full restoration to women of ownership of their own bodies, but also their (temporary) seizure of control of human fertility - the new population biology as well as all the social institutions of child-bearing and child-rearing. And just as the end goal of socialist revolution was not only the elimination of the economic class privilege but of the economic class distinction itself, so the end goal of feminist revolution must be, unlike that of the first feminist movement, not just the elimination of male privilege but of the sex distinction itself: genital differences between human beings would no longer matter culturally."

- Shulamith Firestone, The Dialectic of Sex

theres like a second "peak" you go through where you realize a lot of people in radfem circles are highly invested in recreating another high control environment that maintains a social underclass of women that better suits their interests. this social underclass of undesirables varies wildly, based on what the individual values and devalues. the specifics dont really matter so much as the desire to have a soft throat to put your boot on. and once you realize this, you get pretty upset about how this seems to just be the human condition. i will always be fighting for women. every woman. but i'm not coming back. this place made me a worse person. i became less kind. less forgiving. less generous. i began to monitor myself and others for any indication of an ideological failing that made myself or them lesser women. i spent more time fighting other women than i spent fighting for women, and that trend seemed near universal. it's always easier to find a bad, evil, horrible woman to get angry about than it is to focus on the big picture and keep your priorities in perspective, to ask whether or not this particular blog post is really where your energy is best utilized. i'm ashamed of the vast majority of this blog at this point. i know that i've helped some women feel seen and heard, but i also know that i've made other women feel hurt and humiliated. that was never what i wanted. i do not want to hurt anyone, and i especially do not want to hurt my fellow women who, for the most part, have the same goals that i have. we all want a better world. i'm going to keep trying to make one. and i can't do that here, in this environment. to all the wonderful friends and mutuals i've made, i'll miss you, i love you, i might be in touch once i feel more secure in myself and my ability to stay on-task with my goals. thank you for being here for me.

uncertainwaters

A Former Trans Man's Perspective

i made a substack. my first essay, trying to shed light on the discomfort with "woman" and "female" i experienced when i was transmasculine.

radfemart

“Female” was not much better. Rather than failure, in “female” I heard “victim”. Like many women, my childhood was marked by sexual violence. The details are not important. But even then I knew why it had been done to me. It was explained to me, in books and movies, in pornography magazines, by the sneering teenage boys who tossed eggs at me as I walked home from school. Why would I want to claim or acknowledge my femaleness, when it had marked me as second class, when all I heard was inferior, weak, thing to be fucked? What was good about that? I did not want children. I was appalled by menstruation. My breasts made me a target from the moment they developed. Female genitalia was, according to the assessment of boys my age on online forums, “fishy”, had “beef-curtains”, or it was- even more alarming -something to be coveted, penetrated, used. Clearly there was nothing desirable about this situation I had found myself in at all. Clearly a mistake had been made. A mix-up.

#reblogging rq cause a few people asked what my substack was #catch me here for the forseeable future

taking an extended break for a few reasons.

number one and the most important is i have been getting counselling and various forms of mental health support are now in motion for me. and it has become clear that the OCD i thought went away when i recovered from my eating disorder did not in fact go away, i just found new obsessions and new compulsions. and radblr is like a water torture chamber for someone with unchecked OCD. it's untenable for me. it's nobody's fault but some stuff that's said casually on here will literally stick in my head for months and fuel all manner of bizzaro nutjob activities on my end. so it is a requirement that i take some significant time away whether i like it or not.

the other part is that i also have not been able to conduct myself with the kindness and grace i originally wanted to embody towards other women on here. my stress is so high i find it extremely difficult not to be reactive and high conflict lately. i have been getting into pointless fights and feeling constantly upset. it is difficult for me to reconcile my own flaws and other women's flaws with the lofty rose coloured expectations i had for what would happen when i got into tumblr radical feminism. i have been struggling with the harsher reality that nobody is perfect, and that this is less of a space where activism occurs and more of a space where women vent and speak freely, even if they say things that hurt and upset me.

so i will be heading off for a while. i will still be on substack, when i have something important to say.

sunandsteel99

aaaahahaha i just found out that @dhakcjshkvjbd is eldopism aka the "incest makes perfect sense but I draw the line at lesbianism" woman