“Louis doesn’t talk anymore.” He sniffed quietly, his breathing ragged. “Ever since Harry lost it, he’s been inconsolable!”
Liam stayed silent, leaving Niall to cry by himself.
“Harry is just too out of control. He was arrested, Liam! Arrested!”
The air was icy, the ground soft and damp.
A quiet breeze rustled nearby trees, the leaves falling off in preparation for Winter.
He’s so quiet. Niall thought to himself.
“I mean, I knew he was doing drugs, but I didn’t know he was dealing too.” His voice broke slightly as he thought back to the pictures.
With a shaved head, bloodshot eyes and a whole arm of tattoos, Harry’s mugshot looked nothing like him. Nothing like the charming boy he used to be. There were no dimples, no curls and not a single piece of happiness left in his eyes.
Niall had to stay away from all newspaper stands because he couldn’t stand the sight of Harry anymore.
“Louis was just so distraught, he had to go. There was no choice, the doctors forced him.” His throat closed up as the memories flooded back to him.
He shakily brushed his fingers over blades of grass, wiping off the tiny droplets of rain. Or maybe they were tears, he couldn’t tell.
“I visited him today. He’s not doing so well, I don’t think he recognised me.” Niall whispered. Suddenly, his eyes popped open as a thought came to him.
“You should visit him Liam! It might help him get better!” He said excitedly, his voice echoing gently.
Liam didn’t say anything and Niall’s face dropped again.
“No, you’re right, nothing will help him get better.”
His fingers fiddle with his t-shirt, tracing the 1D symbol over and over again. The t-shirt was stained and slightly torn. He felt so alone. So helpless and alone.
“Oh and Zayn,” Niall suddenly looked up again. His jaw trembled as he tried to force the words out. Relaying everything to Liam was painful, it brought it all back.
“Zayn has gone completely AWOL.” He choked out.
“I haven’t talked to him since… since…” Niall trailed off.
When was the last time I talked to Zayn? He asked himself, stomach clenching at the thought.
Zayn had moved away from the other boys after the band fell apart. He couldn’t stand being associated with a failed music group, it was too embarrassing for him.
“Well, I haven’t talked to him in a while.” Niall finished, feeling defeated.
He rubbed his fingertips along the stubble on his chin, trying to remember the last time he shaved. There was a familiar hole in the knee of his pants, which hadn’t been changed in weeks.
“Why did you have to leave?” Niall asked suddenly, his voice rising.
“If you had of just stayed with the band, everything would be okay!”
Built up anger bubbled over as he started screaming and crying at the same time.
“NONE OF THIS WOULD BE HAPPENING IF YOU WERE HERE!”
Liam’s tombstone was barely visible through his tears, but Niall still managed to drag himself over to it. As he ran his fingers over the polished rock, he thought back through everything. The X factor house, the live shows, the record deal, the signings, the concerts, the award shows, the tours, the sold out arenas… the accident.
That was the end of it all. When that car smashed into Liam, when it selfishly took him from their lives, it all disappeared. Everything they worked for went down the drain. They weren’t One Direction without him. They weren’t anything without him.
“I just miss you.” Niall whispered.
“I want to fix everything… but I can’t. I know I can’t” His voice was barely audible as he curled up on top of the grave.
“I also know that you could. You always fixed everything Liam.”
Niall started to weep into his hands, reality hitting him harder than ever.
“You were my best friend, but you just left me.” He said in a high pitched voice. “You left me alone and I don’t know what to do anymore!” Convulsing with sobs, Niall started to hyperventilate.
Hours passed and he watched the orange sun fade into a black night.
“I just wish I could talk to you.” He whispered to Liam as he drifted off to sleep.
And in those last few seconds of consciousness, he heard a faint voice whisper back
“You can.”
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