I Am Enough. Am I?

This blog is a little bit of everything.  Inspired by Supernatural's Jared Padaleki's "Always Keep Fighting" campaign, this is a collection of what encourages me to keep fighting and a way to share my good days, my not so good days and moments of...

[whoeveryoulovethemost]

Jensen Ackles singing Simple Man  I  AHBL8 Melbourne Australia 2017 I  ( x )

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Thanks for the video credit!

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Your daily dose of encouraging!Jared, from AtlCon (video)

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Go SPN Fandom!!!

Excited!!!!  Feeling great and loving that I've become part of the SPN and AKF family!  I've watched Supernatural since the very first episode aired in 2005 and just watched the first episode of the SPN Fan Movie - wow - what an amazing thing for someone like me far around the other side of the world (New Zealand - and yes, we are completely up to date over here with the new season's episodes being available to us the same day as the US luckily!) to see the amazing experiences and stories of hope that the fandom has created for so many people.  Having the chance to attend a SPN convention and experience it first hand is definitely on my bucket list which I hope I am in a position to achieve one day but in the mean time, being part of the SPN Family is the next best thing! 

I got so into the spirit of this fantastic fandom after watching that I even bought myself a Christmas present from Santa through Jared's AKF represent campaign which I can't wait to receive (thanks Santa! HaHa.)

Thank you to all involved with the Fan Movie that has taken the time over the last 3 years to show a special tribute to 'us'.  In the words of the boys "Your Welcome!"

Keep Fighting :)

[mutual-weirdness-equals-love]

Always Keep Fighting

“ I say constantly that there’s no shame in dealing with these things. There’s no shame in having to fight every day, but fighting every day, and presumably, if you’re still alive to hear these words or read this interview, then you are winning your war. You’re here. You might not win every battle. There are going to be some really tough days. There might be several tough times in any given single day, but hopefully, this will help somebody to think, “This isn’t easy; it is a fight, but I’m going to keep fighting.”” - Jared Padaleki on mental illness, depression, addiction, illness

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A powerful quote from an actor I admire.  I had to repost this as it really affected me.  It sounds silly I know, but straight away when I hear the words "Always Keep Fighting" I start to think is "Fighting" really the right word?  For a lot of people - yes, it is.  But for me, it makes me think 'is that what I have to look forward to?  Does that mean that I am going to have to keep fighting day in and day out, every day, for the rest of my life?  Will it not get any easier?'  

Always keep fighting - it means so many different things to so many different people.  Me - I just try to focus on one day at a time and live in hope that eventually I'll be able to change my own circumstances, my emotional perception on my life and live happily ever after.

XOXO 

[live4you2-blog]

Trust me.  I know exactly how it feels.  I know exactly how it feels to cry in the shower so that no one can hear you.  I know what it's like to wait for everyone to be asleep so you can fall apart, for everything to hurt so bad you just want it all to end.  I know exactly how it feels.

Unknown

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Acting - A Secret Skill Mastered

Depression.  Such a hard word to define when you want to try and explain on paper how it feels to someone else.  A million thoughts run through your mind but to put into words, I am finding impossible. 

I started this blog more of a way for me to be able to find a release when I need it.  A friend noticed that I don't show or release my emotions - rather, I hide it, act that everything is fine and attempt to carry on as if nothing is wrong.  Her suggestion was to find a release, whether that be talking to someone (friends, my doctor or even see a counsellor) or to have a diary and let myself release all my frustrations and emotions privately onto paper.  Rather than keep a notebook that someone could accidently find and suddenly have all my vulnerabilities revealed, I came across Tumblr.  This site gives me the ability to be honest, venerable, mad, happy or just whatever with no personal identification available to anyone who may come across this.  Maybe someone will stumble across my page and read it, and maybe they won't.  But it means I can continue on in my little world, with no-one any the wiser that I am somehow broken, weak or not at full emotional capacity.

I know that I should not be ashamed or should try to hide my depression and that it's a common issue throughout the world.  I guess despite the amount of positive media now surrounding the issue and the continuing support from many groups, I still see it as a flaw within myself.  A chink in the chain that makes me different from everyone else. Not believing that anyone else would understand if I confided in them or fear the look of pity or concern in their eyes.

I have to be strong.  I have to appear confident, happy and that I have my life and emotions completely under control.  If I don't, well, that's just too scary a thought to think of my protective little shell, unravelling for all to see. 

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Aimez-vous les uns les autres (Love each other)

My heart goes out to France today, while I am very aware that their horror is still continuing into the night even as I write this.  It make's me think, with depression, how selfish thinking back on all of my own issues which are pretty insignificant compared to so much other devastation happening to other people through out the world.  Hunger, starvation and homelessness, terrorist attacks, suicide bombers ...... what right do I have to even begin to feel as if my own little life is anything to even consider as disadvantaged or far from perfect?

Shame on me. 

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Something that we all need to remember about ourselves!

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#thejaredproject

Hey guys - just came across this really amazing blog where readers can submit their AKF (Always Keep Fighting) stories which Jared Padaleki himself can read on how he has inspired everyday people in and outside of the SPN family.

Go check it out!

http://thejaredproject.tumblr.com/

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You always have a choice.  You can either roll over and die or you can ALWAYS KEEP FIGHTING.

Jensen Ackles

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When life beats you down, never give up.  ALWAYS KEEP FIGHTING.

Jared Pakaleki

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Hello!

Well here we go!  Welcome to my first blog post!  I'm not too sure the actual purpose of me doing this yet but I guess I'm hoping that I will find my reason along the way. 

Who am I?  I'm a single mum, living in New Zealand who like every other person in this world has their struggles but sometimes, can find it hard to find a way to struggle through.  I am diagnosed with depression - something I still find hard to admit to but when I look, I have found so many inspirational messages and campaigns out there that make me realise - hey, I'm not alone!

Have I had an easy life?  Hell no!  But am I still here, still fighting?  Hell yes! 

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It was after seeing this last night that gave me the final inspiration to start my blog on tumblr.   Soppy I know!  But hey - if Jared can do it, why can't I?  Or at least try anyway!

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NZ SPN fans!

Hey, so I really wanna know how many NZ Supernatural fans there are on here. Maybe we can try and get a dedicated Supernatural con during a time where half of them don’t have to cancel because of filming commitments. So if you’re a kiwi SPN fan, reblog! We can show them just how much we wanna see them all here!

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Getting to a SPN con is definitely on my bucket list.  I know they made it to Australia a few years ago but for us kiwi's, it is pretty impossible to make it to a SPN con halfway around the world.  It's a long shot I know but just maybe we might get the chance one day.

Keep re-blogging guys so SPN knows that New Zealand fans exist!