livebylyrics17 @livebylyrics17 - Tumblr Blog

isuggestlandback

If you ever wondered why they call tattoos and piercings "unprofessional" and "unsophisticated"

Source: Lainey Molnar

imjunebitch

#journal entry #lonely and forgotten is the #livebylyrics17

tiredandlonelymuse

I do not find peace in my melancholy.

My sadness is not serene.

I am bloodthirsty.

tiredandlonelymuse

jesus didn’t die for your sins

you die for your own.

you paid all of your debts

but you cannot go home.

the father cursed the skirt for being short.

the mother cursed him for staring.

then cursed you, the competition.

the teacher kept your seat close to the board.

in hindsight, kept you closer to his desk.

the pastor brushed his hands against your back.

this is life in reparation.

tiredandlonelymuse

I am keeping a secret. I am sucking on it like a lozenge that just won’t get smaller. I am passing it back and forth between my teeth, like a ball on a field between the legs of a bored player. It is not a happy secret, like a diamond in a velvet box in a sweaty pocket. It’s a secret like a loaded gun sewn into the lining of my sweater’s hood, aimed directly for the back of my head. It is a cartoon piano suspended above me. It is a manhole threatening to spontaneously collapse beneath my feet. It is a cloud of noxious gas meticulously attached to only the molecules I misguidedly breathe. It is in my shadow, and it singes the concrete where I stand. It is the sad clink of an empty glass on New Year’s Eve. It is a nap in the passenger seat from which I will never wake up. I am keeping a secret. I am hoarding it. You will find it amongst yellowed mountains of books in a garage, when you find me. This is not a promise, it is a confession. I am keeping a secret.

tiredandlonelymuse

He learned to make a fire in the woods, he says. As a child with awkward hands and fingernails bit down to the blood draw, he was a small intruder rustling through the brush. He shows me how he does it, in a cold house on a hill. An “X”, a tower, a steeple, open it up and see all the people. I watch solemnly from the collapsing couch and bend my bare toes forwards and backwards till they might break. The little flame isn’t taking. I watch it hard and I will it to grow. I first tense the arches of my feet, my calves, my thighs, my shoulders, my arms, and my teeth. I stare at the clumsy pile till my eyes salt-burn and beg me to blink. Grow little flame grow. It catches, and with it, his face. The satisfied smile tears across his cheeks in tandem with the center log toting new flames along its spine. He doesn’t know that it was me. I don’t say anything. He’s too proud. One day he will make a fire out of me. One sheet of my dry skin, crushed for kindling. 5 brittle bones for tinder. Poking and prodding in a brick cave, he will blow and give it life. I will glow, with orange meringue peaks along my back. He will smile. He doesn’t know that it was me.

-Date with an Alchemist, 2022

#livebylyrics17 #poetry #journal entry #lonely and forgotten is the

maybe

changing means evolving

and ofc it feels wrong

bc it's new

and I like what I'm used to

but new is good bc I don't like where I am now

I want more

I want different

maybe

not following the plans I made

doesn't mean I failed at them

maybe

it means they were the wrong ones

or my focus shifted

my priorities changed

maybe

going with the flow means

adjusting my plans with life

maybe

there's no such thing as the "right" choice

or the "wrong" one

or maybe

I'll never know which is right and which is wrong

maybe

what's right is whatever's right in that moment, for that reason

consider all odds and opportunities of course

but maybe...

just maybe...

maybe

i'm ok

#journal entry #poetry #lonely and forgotten is the #livebylyrics17

thegreatimpersonator

thinking of halsey's writing the poem "date with an arsonist"

jadeinaries

not to be dramatic on main, but having access to an album that speaks this precisely to the grief, pain, depression, and isolation that take over your life when you get sick has been an absolute god send to me the last year. whenever i feel like i can't or don't want to keep living like this, i put on this album and experience a level of catharsis and understanding that can only come from a person who knows exactly what it feels like to have all the pain you've bottled up since childhood manifest itself in ways that feel terrifying and uncontrollable. happy 1st bday great impersonator 🎂💫 i truly don't know what i would've done without you

tiredandlonelymuse

Hey this made me cry real tears. If one person feels this way, it’s all worth it. I’d go back and write it 100 more times. Thank you 🤍

livebylyrics17

this is how I feel too 🖤

tiredandlonelymuse

Gonna post a real thing for TGI anniversary tomorrow but just winding down for sleep and thinking a lot. I want to say thank you to those of you who had patience and grace with me when I was recovering. Mostly, I want to thank you for your belief. Figuring out my new normal was a series of timid, newborn baby deer steps. It was a tremendous amount of care, not a lack of it. And now a year later, I have done the biggest tour of my career and I’m now 5 shows into a completely different (and sold out!) SECOND tour celebrating the origin story. I know that the best of you expected nothing from me, only that I prioritize taking care of myself. And I love you dearly for that. But you must know how good and strong and beautiful it feels to return and give you EVERYTHING I’ve got instead.

I am coming undone with love. Thank you.

livebylyrics17

I love you unconditionally

faithlesslovee

am I a victim in your game? am I set of antique plates? will you pass me through your bloodline with your ornamental rage? can I take the blame for everything you hate? the punishment and crime are not the same