Biracial relationships are not easy by far!
I remember being a child and my mother sharing her stories from the perspective of mothering a biracial child. I remember her telling me what was said, the way she was treated, what it was like and how it made her feel. My mother was amazing in building a foundation of understanding my identity. That level of impact from mother to child wasn’t as hard to grasp when I entered my relationship.Â
I am currently in a loving union, with a spouse of another ethnicity and it’s hasn’t been the easiest thing. It has not been easy for our relationship, the thoughts that run through our minds for the future, nor the conversations we’ve had to have. The world today has stung us in ways that we never thought we would have to face. Being that I am a black woman, no matter what race I’m mixed with I’m labeled as just a Black Woman. I identify with both of my races, respect both equally. However I feel the pain more from being a Black Woman in America.Â
I broke down today, not as a of a sign of weakness, but because of the hate that’s held in peoples’ hearts towards people of color. I’ve heard us be called monkeys from so “family”. I’ve heard outrageous things said about police killings. I’ve seen people post the most unbelievable things about people of color. I’ve learned that people we love voted for trump; that thought still haunts me. I’ve heard jokes on colorism; stating lighter skin individuals and straight hair have more privileged then those with darker skin and kinky hair.  In my relationship We’ve had to top and sit down, we’ve had to walk away from very intense conversations because of the trauma it causes with. My lovie, is the kindest person I know but the cause and effect racial discrimination pulls you into will take you places you never think you would have to go. We have had to really plan our lives according to the new truths that present themselves. Reality hits, and reality sets in.Â
Within yourself Then you try to be kind,  mindful and accepting of people’s hate because they are “family”. We have been told and taught our entire lives to brush things under the rug, to be accepting of people’s wrong doing, because of a title, because of the notion of not being loyal. I am tired! Tired of faking the funk as if the people we call family aren’t the same people who pray against you. Your wins are nothing to the mighty dragon that’s blows fire!Â
If you ask me how I really feel... No matter the title, your neglect to understand the true meaning of love has shown itself. I’m not obligated to be associated with anyone who has shown me their true colors. You’re not obligated to make fake phone calls like you care, just for the sake of repetition. Your skin is no greater than the next, your money is green just like everyone else, your blood bleeds red. For the record, you’re no more privileged than the person who sits in prison that hasn’t had the chance to  prove their innocence. You have to realize that the time is now to set yourself apart from those who are private with their racism and publicity posting about having that “black friend”. It’s those who have hated you during pillow talk and invite you to family gatherings eating burnt bbq ribs that do the most damage.  Be mindful, but don’t be stupid.Â
The mindful one, the one who sits quietly and listens from afar is the same person who brings me back after a tireless rant. My lovie reminds me of what’s more important. As a unit we love not because of race or any other societal factors but because of who we are. Never once did the color of our skin come to mind when we decided to become one. When you love a person, you see their soul. Nothing else matters. You learn now to see through those who have caused such confusion in your life and you simply avoid the hate. You teach people through a different type of love. Distant love. Blinders and Binders, don’t be blind to the negative behaviors of others, simply bind to those who love genuine and openly despite their origin.
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