Don't ever worry

about the world coming to an end, it's already tomorrow in Australia

[livingdownunder]

I want to go back to Australia, so badly.  I never wanted to leave in the first place, but that was inevitable.  I planned on going back "one day" and I still am going to keep that promise.  It's just..it's getting harder.  Peter is growing up, and I'm missing out on it entirely.  He talks about me a lot, even says that he's missing me.. That makes me feel so good, but at the same time it nearly breaks my heart in two.  Not only do I miss Peter, but my ever so lovely host mother.  I miss my Australian family.. I miss my Australian life.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to go broke in doing so, but... I'm doing to do everything humanly possible for me to be there within the next 2 years.  You wait.  You'll see.

[ills]

[livingdownunder]

I haven't logged onto this account in such a long time.  I think I'm kind of been avoiding it, if I'm honest.  Why, you ask?  Well you see my dear, it's very simple.  It's merely due to the fact that I'm not in Australia anymore..which means, hah.. well it's obvious, isn't it?  My amazing, life-changing adventure is over.  I'm back in the U.S. doing what I've always done..work my ass off.  Am I happy? Sure.  Do I miss the life I had in Australia? What kind of question is that? You bet your sorry ass I do.  

I can't help but to think about it all the time: The things I did, the people I met, the things I got to see (and what I hope my future holds).  I bring up random tidbits in conversations on a daily basis.  If I'm completely frank, sometimes I feel self conscious when I do, and by sometimes I mean majority of the time. I'm not sure why exactly, I just feel as though it may come across to some people as annoying.  With that being said, most of 2012 I spent in Australia, and it is hard to not speak of an entire year.  Such an amazing year, I might add.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this.. I think I've just come here to rant on and on.  Is anyone listening?  Bippidty boppitdy boo. Did that get your attention?  Moving on..Do you care if I rant a little more? No? Okay, thank you.   

I truly felt happy when I was in Australia.  I don't honestly know how to put it into words what it was that I loved so much about Australia.  The phenomenal coastline that always took my breath away.  The beautiful scenery regardless of where you are and what you're doing.  The amazing feeling of being alive, and free that filled my inner core.  The carelessness I felt.  The pleasure of taking care of a little boy who stole my heart.  I could go on forever, I swear.  

The first few days after I returned from Aus were tough, no thanks to jet lag.  It wasn't just the jet lag that was to blame though.  I was heartbroken.. The day had come for me to get on a plane and leave the friends, and (host) family I came to love, the places and things which I also grew to love.  These things made up my life, they were my life.. and I had to board a plane and leave, possibly to never return again.  Knowing this made it rather difficult to be happy I was home.  WIth that being said, I was so happy to see my family and friends again.  I had missed them all so much, and it was truly great to see them again.  

As the days and weeks passed, things got easier.  I got my groove again.  Got a part time job, got a babysitting clientele, purchased a car, yatta yatta yatta.  Now here I am, a few months later.  Working, taking classes to further my education - and continue to do so, so I can hopefully one day get sponsored to work in Australia.  It may sound a little crazy, or maybe absolutely absurd.  But that's my dream...and I'm going to do everything I can to make it come true.

[durianseeds]

[livingdownunder]

“I Think I Am In Friend-Love With You” written by and illustrated by Yumi Sakugawa, published in Sadie Magazine, 2012.

[agvocateffa-deactivated20140319]

Not everything works out like you’d expect, but that doesn’t mean you should stop trying. Because sometimes it works out for the best. Hope for the best, forget the rest.

Hannah Hart (from this video!)

[livingdownunder]

Christmas presents

This year majority of the presents I'm giving are homemade. You have no idea how badly I've wanted to post pictures of cool things I've made, or sent a picture to a friend, or even just tell then about them.. But I can't, because then I could ruin a surprise! AH IM GOING TO BURST lol

[livingdownunder]

It has come to my attention lately, that not many people respect my upcoming full-time job that I will be starting in February.

I will be a full-time nanny, taking care of a precious newborn who will be 8 weeks old. I will be working 10 hour days from Monday to Friday. I was told that this was…

[mcscooterson]

I got grief yesterday from some random dude at the Library for being a nanny. I didn’t have the time or patience to actually go in to how great this job has been and how what I’m doing actually matters to someone. And to me.

[livingdownunder]

You tell them, girl! If you ever need to rant or need advice - feel free to talk to me because I've been there too :)

[livingdownunder]

It's kind of hard for anything to live up to Australia..

[livingdownunder]

I want to hold you, little man.

[livingdownunder]

I have something I have to get off of my chest.

It has come to my attention lately, that not many people respect my upcoming full-time job that I will be starting in February. 

I will be a full-time nanny, taking care of a precious newborn who will be 8 weeks old.  I will be working 10 hour days from Monday to Friday.   I was told that this was "not a real job" Oh... It's not? 

Please, enlighten me on what a "real job" is then.   I understand, being a nanny isn't your typical job.  But guess what, it's way more common than you'd think.  Guess what, it pays better than you'd think.  Guess what, it brings happiness to me.  So.. I'll say one last time, guess what?  I'm not changing my job.  More importantly than all of those things I just stated, my job is so rewarding.  I get to teach these children all types of things; how to roll over, how to walk, how to talk, manners.  I get to play with these children, dance till we are too tired to move (wait, that's usually just me - not the kids), I get to watch these kids grow and develop before my eyes.  Would you believe that the kids aren't the only ones growing and developing?  Well, it's true.  I learn things from them all the time.  I think my favorite part is the unconditional love.  They give the best hugs, the best cuddles, they don't judge you, they just love you and want you to be around

I'm not saying I'm going to be a nanny forever, but if I want to be one for another year, 5 years, or 15..  I think that's ok, because it's MY life.

[livingdownunder]

GOOD CHARLOTTE

AHHH. So I went to the Good Charlotte concert last night in Luna Park, Sydney, with my friend Matt. And ohhhhh myyy gooodness, it was SO freaking good.  Their first CD came out in 2000, when I was a fan way back then and very avidly until about 15.  I'm now 20 and I won't lie and make it seem like I've still been absolutely crazy about them, because I haven't - although I have kept up with their new stuff, and have never not liked them.  With that being said -- IT WAS SOOO GOOD. Their stage presence was phenomenal, and they were all soo talented.   I didn't expect to be THAT excited about it, but I was completely fan-girling the entire night.  I now barely have a voice, and my arms and feet hurt from bouncing and having my hands in the air.

Oh what fun, how awesome was that :)

[livingdownunder]

Peter.

In the 3 months that I have known this little boy, he has become so close to my heart.  I've looked after several kids over the past year in Australia,  and I got pretty attached to these children, but it's nothing like it is with Peter.  I'm honestly not sure what's different.  Maybe it's the fact that I love my host parents, too.  I'm always hanging out with them, so I'm always around Peter too.  I love playing with him, and I'm always helping him - even when I'm not supposed to be working.  The thing is,  it's not like work to me, I don't feel like it's a chore; I WANT to do it.   Peter puts the biggest smile on my face.. When he hugs me, when he uses me as his personal jungle gym, when he gives me sweet cuddles, even when he hits me, I can't help but to love him.

I'm afraid of the day that I have to leave..I know it's going to be so emotional, but that's ok..because as the saying goes "How lucky am I, to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard" <3

[livingdownunder]

Hello from Sydney

[livingdownunder]

I cannot believe that I will be returning home in 2 months.  I will be home in 9 weeks.

This is truly mind boggling!  I'm not even sure what to think of it.  I'm excited, I'm sad, I'm terrified, and I can't wait - all at the same time.

[livingdownunder]

2 months from today is November 3rd.  Every year this particular day means so much to me. But this year, this year it is different.  Not only will it mark the day that my twin sister passed away, it will also be my first full day back in The States after my long journey in Australia.  And we are having a party of sorts.  A party to celebrate my homecoming, and more importantly: a party celebrating Lacey.  A farewell party, if you will..a party to simply think of her, cherish her, and all of the beautiful things associated with her, and myself.  

I can't tell you how much I wish that this wasn't the party I would be having; I'd do nearly anything for it to be a regular homecoming party, where I could reunite with my sister.  But as fate has it, this will never be.  So this will be the best supplement.

I'm going to do my best to stay positive, because for as long as I can remember this day drags on, and I leaves me feeling more alone than ever... But this year.. this year I will be with so many loved ones, that I think it's going to be different.

[livingdownunder]

If only I didn't have to work today and could just lay around being lazy.  But that is not the case, so off I go in just a bit.

[livingdownunder]

In the past 8 months..

I haven't seen a squirrel.  I've only had Dr. Pepper once.  I haven't had Captain Morgan, or Captain Crunch (among many other delicious cereals).  I can count on one hand how many times I've used a dryer.  I haven't had Chick-fil-a, Bojangles, Cook out, along with all of the other fast food yummies.  Yes, we cook on the barbie but I have never heard an Aussie say "Cook some shrimp on the barbie" because, they don't call them shrimp, they're prawns!  I have only had hamburgers perhaps 3 times, and "grilling" is starting to sound strange to me.  I've had steak numerous times, but can I just say; It a'int how daddy fixes it.   I have fries with ketchup chips with tomato sauce.  The adjectives I've been using are ones I've never heard of, or ones that we used differently back home.  I haven't had a biscuit for breakfast, in fact biscuits are just plain cookies here, and the closest I can get to a biscuit is a scone, and we all know that scones are not biscuits.  I've tried vegemite, but I still prefer jam or jelly.

I guess we can call this post First World Problems