How To Start A Serious Conversation
Many of us have been in that situation where we need to talk to an individual about a serious, awkward or uncomfortable subject. We hope that the conversation will go well, but sometimes anxiety gets the best of us, and it becomes dificult to even start such a conversation.
A useful technique is to reherse the conversation in the mirror, or if there’s someone you particular trust, maybe practice with them about how to start the conversation
You could also ask someone you trust for advice on what to say, or how to approach the subject
This one may be more difficult, but try to relax. If you start to overthink and believethat the conversation will go terribly, then you’ll just make yourself more nervous. Try reading a book, playing a game, napping, whatever helps to take the edge off
If you’re the kind of person who doesn’t mind being put on the spot, may be consider messaging the person, and telling them that you need to talk to themabout something. That way ywhen you do talk to them, they know you have something serious to say, so there’s little point in procrastinating or holding it back. (Note: It’s also probably not a good idea to try this if you suffer from anxiety, or if you’re particularly shy) Also, if you do decide you’re not ready to talk, remember that you can say so. If you’re not ready, then you’re not ready. There’s no shame in that what-so-ever.
If possible, make sure the conversation happens in a place you, and the other person, feel comfortable in.
If you can, arrange to have some comforting drinks, like tea or hot chocolate, available. It may help you both relax, and can act as a distraction after the conversation ends
Be upfront. It may help if you start off by letting them know that you may be feeling some discomfort or distress about the subject. They’ll appreciate knowing that it’s difficult for you, and may be able to reassure you, which helps make the whole situation a little easier.
Be honest. Honesty isn’t always easy (depending on the subject), but in the long run it’s more appreciated, and much more helpful. With honesty comes understanding. Being completely open about what you’re talking about may help the other person to understand you better.
Take your time. If you feel yourself becoming upset, uncomfortable, or distressed, let the person know that you need a few minutes to recover.
Don’t push yourself. If you start to feel overwhelmed, and a few minutes to recover isn’t going to be enough, suggest that you want to finish the conversation another time. They may just want to know everything then and there, but remember that you have the right to give yourself the time and the space you need in order to be able to properly explain yourself. Also remember that if they begin to feel uncomfortable, they may request that you both pospone the conversation.
However, if it’s something particularly important that could seriously effect you or the other person, you should always try your best to tell them. Especially if it effects them.
Listen to them. They’ll probably have some imput, maybe even some useful advice or ideas. They’ll appreciate feeling heard.
Try your very best to answer any questions they have honestly.
Prepare yourself. They may have harsh, or upsetting responses (depending on the subject), so try to be prepared for that
If appropriate, ask them if they want to go out to see a film, or go down to the pub, or go out for dinner ect. You might both need some time to relax and chill out.
If all goes well, feel free to start discussing more cheerful things with the person. Try asking how they are, or how their day went. They’ll be thankful for your interest, and attentiveness.
Be respectful. Depending on the subject, the individual may feel they need some space, try not to feel bothered by this, they have that right to take some time out for themself to think about what they’ve been told.
If they become angry or upset, offer comfort, but give them space if they need it.
If I think of any other helpful tips, I’ll be sure to add them
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