[livinginlavender]

A Belated 2018 Recap

I have not posted anything to this blog in what feels like SO long. It is absolutely bonkers to me how fast life moves now, and if what I’m told is correct, it’s only going to keep getting faster.

Not terrifying at all. Nope. Not even in the slightest.

It’s somewhat strange, though; it’s not like I haven’t been writing blog posts. I have 7 WIP (work-in-progress) blog posts ranging from November all the way back to last March, none of which I ever finished refining or decided to post. But I wanted to sit down and, for both myself and anyone interested, go through a recap of what 2018 held for me.

Quite frankly, this year was a doozy.

2018 started off miserably. I was living in Grand Rapids, MI in a house with 3 great roommates, 2 adorable cats, and one severely depressed, anxious, and overwhelmed Kylie. I’d wake up every morning hating my life, hating myself, and dreading the idea of going to work that day.

As a freshly-minted 23-year-old, I was working as a “Sales and Marketing Specialist” for a Curves/Jenny Craig about a 25-minute drive from the place I then called home. As a college graduate with a B.S. in Marketing, I was getting paid $10 an hour (after the Michigan minimum wage had just been bumped up to $9.25/hour) to drive all over Timbuktu, bothering people at the local businesses to “co-market” with us.

Basically, I begged them to let me leave promotional materials for their customers to see, and I asked if a) there was anything I could take to advertise their business, and b) if they or any of their employees were interested in Curves workouts or Jenny Craig weight loss meal plans.

Unsurprisingly, the answer was usually no, and unsurprisingly, I was awful at it.

I called my mom one night sobbing about how much I hated myself, hated my job, hated my life. And when she said the words, “Come home,” it finally dawned on me that I had other options. I wasn’t as stuck as I had initially thought.

The rest of my year was a bit of a whirlwind from there. I put my two-weeks-notice in the day after my phone call with my mom. I let my landlord know that I was moving out (it was a month-to-month lease, so a month’s notice was all I needed). I slowly but surely started moving bits and pieces of my belongings back to Illinois. After a month, I was moved back to Illinois and trying to figure out my next steps.

I started working for my dad’s architecture firm. I developed professional conversational skills, graphic design skills, my social media marketing skills. I began to feel more confident in myself, a feeling that only grew during the 5 months I spent there. By the time I left, I felt fully-confident in my capabilities again, which was only exacerbated by the reason I was leaving: I’d gotten a new job. Against all odds, there was a company out there who was interested in me.

In August, I started working at Blistex, Inc. Honestly, I’m still not entirely sure why they hired me. My job is split between promotions (B2G1F multi-packs, dollar-off coupons on packaging, that sort of thing) and social media, and I came in with absolutely NO experience with promotions, but they decided to take a chance on me anyway.

Honestly, in a lot of ways I feel like I’m living the dream.

To put it simply, the last 5 months of my life have gone by faster than any other job I have ever had. I have learned so much, grown so much, and done so much more than I thought myself capable of at this time last year.

Both personally and professionally, I have come to realize so many important things about myself that I didn’t know a year ago, and I am grateful for every experience that has led me to where I am right now. In my dad’s words, I’ve “become such a cool person,” and I’m unbelievably proud of that.

After feeling aimless for what felt like forever, I finally have a solid sense of direction. My relationships with my friends are good, my relationship with Tanner is growing stronger all the time (coming up on 5 years!), and I love how much time I’m getting to spend with my family.

I have a few “goals” set for 2019, though I wouldn’t necessarily call them resolutions:

I’d like to find some more hobbies that get me out and about meeting new people, making new friends, and learning new things.

I’d like to read more books, both fiction and non-fiction, on topics that interest me.

Now that I have PTO, I’m interested in doing more traveling to places that aren’t Illinois or Michigan, even if it’s just a quick weekend trip.

I’ve talked with Liz and Tanner about doing another half-marathon this November, which means continuing the process of recovering from my foot “injury” (I’m still not sure if that’s what it qualifies as).

I’m excited and anxious to see what this year holds, especially after the year I just had. It’s easy to overlook just how much can change in 365 days, but I’m already excited to see how things unfold this year! So here’s a cheers to 2019; may we continue fighting to change ourselves and the world for the better, and may we never give up on doing that.

[livinginlavender]

AHHHHHHH. CHANGE.

We all love to think that we’re the exception. It doesn’t really seem to matter what it is, we just want to be the exception to whatever the general rule is. Your ex was a jerk? I’ll be the exception. 95% of people die from this type of late-stage cancer? I’ll be the exception. Your rescue dog hasn’t reacted well to the last 20+ people he’s met? I’ll be the exception.

(Seriously, people, leave Mowgli alone.)

I’m speaking from personal experience when I say that most people have the whole, “I’ll be the exception,” thought cross their mind at least once a day. This is how that idea comes into play for today’s “rant,” if you will.

It’s so easy in life to get used to the norm, even when you don’t think you have. Every year one of my New Year’s resolutions is to get more comfortable being uncomfortable. And it’s something that I continue to work on daily, but the last several weeks have been a wakeup call: I am not the exception to human nature.

Mind blowing, I know.

In the last month or so, the “cosmic universe” (or whatever; I’m just being dramatic) seems to be wreaking havoc on the life I hadn’t previously realized I was so comfortable with. Despite my resolution, I have discovered that I am not, in fact, the exception to the whole, “Human beings like to live comfortable in their routines and steady lives,” dealio.

A few examples: I purchased my first car in nearly 6 years. It’s the first car I have purchased for myself, and the first time I’ve been faced with having a car loan, even though I could have paid for the car in cash (gotta build up that credit, y’all). I still haven’t gotten up the nerve to sell Sunny, my old car. Quite frankly, the idea of it makes me want to panic into infinity. I still haven’t even switched over my Minnie Mouse antenna-topper.

In one weekend, two of my friends got engaged, Tanner’s mom introduced me as her future daughter-in-law, we went to check out a church we’d considered getting married in, then decided we didn’t want to get married there. For whatever reason, the combination of those things gave me an anxiety attack (so fun, yay!). Tanner and I finally resolved the freak-out after some crying and deep reflection on who we are as a couple, after which I realized I could have avoided the freak-out if I’d just been open and honest with him.

I’ve also accepted a job offer for a position that I’m not entirely qualified for, but am entirely up to the challenge of, that will keep me in Illinois and out of Michigan for the foreseeable future. It’s been an interesting combination of ecstatic, terrified, sad, and unbelievably eager to get started.

Quite a range of emotions in such a short period of time, and I’m still working through it all.

I’m still trying to focusing on being more comfortable with being uncomfortable, but I’m realizing that… I don’t know. Maybe it’s okay to be comfortable? The adventurous, rebellious part of my nature doesn’t like the idea of stopping and settling for something, which I appreciate most of the time, but right now it might be a good idea to find a spot and just...stick with it for a while.

In the same breath, though, it can be hard to gauge when you’ve gotten “too comfortable” with where you’re at, and part of me believes that that is far more dangerous. How do you know when it’s time to move forward, onto the next...job, car, friendship, apartment, pair of jeans, favorite food, whatever? How do you gauge when something that you want is actually something that you want, not just what other people want for you?

I guess that instead of focusing on being the exception, I should be focusing on acceptance. Accepting change for what it is (a new and exciting opportunity), accepting the ways that change makes me feel (excited, terrified, nervous, eager), and accepting that it’s okay to not be okay with change at first. I remember what it was like to be 12 and have growing pains; when it comes to taking up more space in the world, it’s a little, “No pain, no gain!”

[livinginlavender]

I can’t take it easy.

Have you ever heard the expression, “It’s not you, it’s me?” Usually it’s used in the context of relationships, and more likely than not as part of a break-up line. But I’ve found myself applying the expression to myself in a professional setting more than anything else, and it’s unbelievably frustrating.

I can’t stop working. That probably doesn’t mean what you think it means, so let me explain. I work when I’m at work, and I’m able to shut off professional-Kylie when I’m home. That’s not the problem I’m having. The problem is that when I’m at work, I tear through any project that crosses my desk with near-reckless abandon, going as fast as I’m able to without sacrificing quality of work. I can’t stop working.

It’s not exhausting; it’s energizing. It’s not boring; it’s exciting. But it tends to leave me with very little to do more often than not. And so I branch out.

I’ll ask supervisors for something else to do. I’ll ask coworkers if there’s something I can help them with, any small thing I can take off of their plate. I’ll weed through my previous work with a fine-toothed comb to see if there’s anything that I missed, or something that can be improved upon, or...anything, really, to pull me out of my slump until a slightly bigger “project” comes along for me to work on.

More often than not, this sends my supervisors scrambling to find something, anything for me do, and sometimes they can’t come up with a single task.

Projects that people say will take weeks takes me two, maybe three days. A colored site plan that someone says will take 45 minutes at least takes me 20 at the most. I became proficient in Adobe InDesign in less than 2 weeks, and started doing work on my dad’s CAD (computer-assisted drafting) drawings after one day of working in Arris 9.5.

To say that it’s exasperating is an understatement; maybe it’s because as a youngin’ I had a tendency to do projects last minute (a habit which I beat out of myself in college), but I always strove for that A. High speed, high quality. I don’t know what the reason behind it is, and I guess I haven’t practiced enough introspection to figure it out.

In the meantime, I’m considering getting into graphic design and marketing consulting. That’s basically what I’m doing currently anyway, but it could help me take on clients without working for just one company to build my portfolio. But even taking myself in that direction comes with a full set of questions: Where would I get clients? How would I sustain having an inconsistent paycheck? Am I smart enough to do it? Am I good enough?

I don’t have the answers to those yet, and I don’t expect they’ll come to me any time soon. But what I do know is this: despite being smart, working fast, and working exceedingly hard to do my best, coming out of college without 3-5 years of marketing experience sucks, and I can’t. Stop. Working.

[livinginlavender]

Thoughts on Kindness & Pain

I am, to my very core, a thinker. I claim this before I am a doer and after I am a dreamer, but I claim it all the same.

As anyone who has known me for a length of time can attest, I am also an over-thinker. Once my brain gets started thinking about something, it runs rampant, whether it’s to more deeply think about that something or to think about a thousand other somethings that somehow relate.

Because of this habit, my phone is constantly filled with notes. Whether it’s quotes that I heard and fell in love with, or a list of things to remember to do, or some realization I came to about my feelings or beliefs, I like to write it down. What use will it do me if it stays stuck in my head, only to be forgotten?

I found an older note in my phone from a few months back, and...I actually remembered writing it. Not so much where I was or who I was with, where I was going, or how I was feeling. I was overcome with the sense of resonance, that overwhelming sensation of, “Yes, this is an important truth about myself.”

Here is the content of the note:

“I don’t believe in being a good person because it’s ‘the right thing.’ I don’t believe in being a good person because someone doesn’t want to be a sinner and go to hell. I don’t believe in needing a reason to be a good person, to do good things, and to give more of yourself than you maybe think you should.

I’m kind to people because I know what it feels like to have other people not be kind to you. I’m kind to other people because I know what it feels like to not be kind to myself. If I can do one small thing, however seemingly insignificant, to improve someone’s day or mood or whatever, why should I need a reason to do it? Can’t the potential of joy be enough, even when I’m not feeling it myself?”

In a world where there is so much pain and suffering, where nearly every person feels the need to fake the appearance of happiness, I see no reason to add the weight of negativity to the load. We’re all stumbling and fumbling our way through this life together, whether we like it or not.

Some encouragements for you as we head into the weekend: be kind to those around you, and not because you owe them something or because you want them to owe you; be kind for the sake of being kind. Do good for the sake of adding goodness to the world, even if it’s simple.

Smile when you make eye contact with a stranger. Buy your friend their coffee when you meet up. Forgive yourself for your shortcomings, because you deserve to be kind to yourself too.

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. There persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”      Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

[livinginlavender]

The truth behind “feminine.”

I’ve been reading a fascinating book of essays compiled by Shirley Nicholson called “The Goddess Re-Awakening: The Feminine Principle Today.” I’ve always been fascinated by theology (that is, the study of religions), and the idea of any religion that is female-centric is all the more interesting. When people think of religious figures, they think of figures like God or Jesus, or even Buddha (though admittedly, I remember very little about that last one).

But, I digress. I’m not here to discuss the semantics of Goddess-worship in most ancient civilizations. I’m here to discuss one word in particular.

Feminine.

What sort of imagery does the word “feminine” conjure up? Personally, I think of flowers. To me, the word brings to mind something soft and gentle, someone compassionate and kind. Someone possibly fragile and small, tender and delicate. Someone who needs her knight in shining armor to save her.

When I began reading this book, I quickly ran across a discussion of the word itself. According to Merlin Stone, the word “feminine” stems from the Latin word femina, which literally just means “female.” It doesn’t mean delicate, or soft, or sweet, or docile.

It means “female.” That’s it.

Which is fascinating to me, because there are so many aspects of being female that are a far cry from what our culture has come to see femininity as. To use Stone’s example, let’s take a moment to evaluate one of the most womanly actions that cisgendered women may come face-to-face with: childbirth.

Sweaty, possibly screaming and yelling, bleeding and pushing and fighting and bringing new life into this world. Then crying tears of happiness and more pain and cramping and finally quiet and fatigue and rest. The definition of “blood, sweat, and tears” isn’t something usually associated with femininity, but it’s one of the most “female” things there is. But when something as simple as our monthly menstrual cycles is seen as “unfeminine,” how surprised can you really be?

Now, I’ll take a moment to say this: there are guys that get periods. And if you’re tempted to hit me with any form of transphobia, you can get off of my blog right now. I won’t stand for that shit. But my point is that while a period can be a symbol of femininity and pride to one person, it can also represent major gender dysphoria and stress for someone else. And on that note, there are plenty of women who don’t menstruate at all, whether it’s from a hysterectomy or being transgender or going through menopause.

The idea of being feminine, of being female, is such a complicated concept no matter how you look at it. For some people, a woman who likes to fish and hunt, or who’s a mechanic, or who doesn’t care about makeup or clothes or fashion? To them, that isn’t “feminine.” And yet, anyone who is female is, by default and by definition, feminine.

Stone says, “It is difficult not to notice that the attributes ascribed to femininity are those that would make life a lot easier, more pleasant, and perhaps ego-inflating for others, than for the so-called feminine woman… Upon considering the real differences [in the duality of males and females], we face the questions of what is biologically determined, what is socially determined, and even what may be divinely ordained.”

There are plenty of historical and religious texts that we can attribute to the dichotomy that has been created between what is “masculine” and what is “feminine,” but I don’t necessarily see a need for those labels.

No person has entirely masculine or feminine traits; we’re human, which automatically means we’re vastly multifaceted beings. We get to choose which “traits” from each “end of the spectrum” we want to exhibit, as well as how strongly we portray them and how frequently. Every person has this choice, and with that choice comes responsibility. There is plenty of good, and bad, that can be done to the world, ourselves, and the people around us depending on the type of person we decide to be. But regardless of what “aspects” people choose, they need to make sure they’re acting in accordance with their true self, their genuine personality.

If you are a female, you are feminine. If you are a male, you are masculine. If you are neither, or somewhere in between, you are whatever label or non-label makes you feel the most comfortable. It doesn’t matter if you’re a woman who loves sports, a man who loves makeup, a nonbinary person who loves pretty china and luxury sports cars, or a genderfluid person whose preferences may change by the day. You are you, and your existence, your labels, your preferences are valid.

Whoever you are, whatever your story is, may you have the ability, the courage, and the support to be your truest self, free of the expectations the world and modern cultures have placed upon you.

“The single thing I owe myself is to become whoever I want to be. I let other people enjoy their talks about me, but I never let their opinions bother me. I just get to do what I want because I know who I am.” -Ifeoluwa Egbetade

[livinginlavender]

Girl, we’re servin’ up the whole damn feast!

I went shopping with my boyfriend two weekends ago. I needed to get a couple of things that I hadn’t bought in years: jeans and running shoes. By the end of our excursion, I’d gotten what I needed, and I’d realized something annoyingly deep about my experience.

For as long as I can remember (or at least, since I was an early highschooler), I’ve worn size 4 jeans. Most of the time I didn’t have to think about it; once you find a store whose jeans fit you well, you can just pop in and grab a pair, and that’s how I was at American Eagle.

Stop in. Grab a pair or two of size 4’s. Hit the cash register. Done.

So I went to American Eagle this weekend, boyfriend in tow. We were browsing the selection. I decided to try on their regular jeans (in size 4, naturally), as well as their jeggings (in 4 and 6, because I’d never tried jeggings on before). I got into the dressing room and...none of them fit. Not comfortably, anyway.

I asked the kind lady handling the dressing rooms (who happily chatted with me about her fur babies the whole time I was there) if she could please grab me these jeans, but in a size 6. She obliged, and voila! They fit like a glove. No discomfort to be found.

I grab two pairs. Hit the cash register. Done.

Next stop was Dick’s Sporting Goods. Apparently they had a great selection of Asics running shoes, which is what I was after: I wanted to replace the Gel Nimbus 18’s that I’d had for over two years and had worn down.

When I worked at Payless, I bought some shoes that were size 8.5 and a couple that were size 9. I’d go up to that 9 if I had to, but some part of me desperately wanted to fit into those 8.5’s. But I started with size 9 on this shopping day. And then I bumped it up to a 9.5 because, hey, I want to be comfortable, and ain’t nobody got time for pinchy shoes when running several miles.

I sat there marinating in my thoughts that day, and I realized that I’m tired of making myself small. I’m tired of pushing myself to go just one pants size, half a shoe size, one full shoe size too small. I’m tired of pinched toes leading to nearly-ingrown toenails because I want to wear shoes that don’t accommodate the oddly-shaped nails on my big toes. I’m tired of buying pants that don’t accommodate my thighs and butt, even though I’m not exactly a “curvaceous” woman. I’m tired of bras that cut into me in awkward ways, because instead of a 32C bra actually being 32 inches around, it’s barely 28 inches.

I’m done being uncomfortable just so that I can say, “I only wear size 4 jeans!” when a number like that means absolutely nothing. It’s completely meaningless. I’ve got big feet, a big heart, a big brain, and a ginormous personality. I’d rather live my life being comfortable in my clothes, comfortable in my shoes, and comfortable in my skin.

I’m done making myself small.

[livinginlavender]

My Disney Ride-or-Die Rides

I love Disney. Have I mentioned that I love Disney? Because I absolutely love Disney with all of my heart and soul and body.

Part of that love is based on the movies. I grew up watching them and I still watch them more often than I’d care to admit. But a bigger part of my love for Disney is a tradition my family has held since I was 9 months old: visiting either Disneyland or Walt Disney World once every year.

I would like to clarify that Disney didn’t used to be as expensive as it is now, and that as we’ve gotten older my siblings as I have begun chipping in (if not entirely paying for ourselves) when it comes to our yearly family trips. But as the price to visit goes up, my family continues to be savvy with our spending and trying to get the most bang for our buck.

Part of that “bang-for-your-buck”-ness involves getting the most out of our time in the parks. That brings me to today’s blog post.

Not 20 minutes ago, my dad was sitting on Connor’s bed in his room calling out items from a list he found on the internet. Basically, someone decided what the 10 least-worth-it rides were at Walt Disney World, and at least half of them are near and dear to my heart.

After cursing the person who wrote the original list under my breath, I snagged my laptop and decided to come up with my own lists of 5 rides at both Disneyland and Walt Disney World that are overhyped, and 5 rides each that aren’t hyped up enough.

WDW Overhyped:

1.     Tomorrowland Speedway

Maybe I’ve just had too many bad experiences on this ride. There have been too many times where the car just…stopped on the track for no apparent reason. Or the steering was broken and sent me (and Connor) klunking back and forth against the track’s metal guide, unable to control where we were going until we finally reached the queasy, miserable end of the “ride.” But waiting an hour or more to be sorely disappointed every time? Not worth it.

2.     The Magic Carpets of Aladdin/Dumbo the Flying Elephant/Astro Orbiter

Look, I get it. It’s fun for little kids. Heck, when I was a youngin’ I loved the Dumbo ride in particular. But I’ve seen adults with no kids wait in line for way longer than is worth it, only to sit there unamused for a minute and a half before the hydraulics bring them gently back to the ground. Just…don’t do it. Please.

3.     Toy Story Midway Mania!

Alright. I know there are a lot of people (even within my own family) who disagree with me on this one. This ride is extremely whippy and makes me nauseous, which isn’t an easy feat. Maybe it’s just my competitive side, but I always end up with a sore wrist and fingers from tugging the dang string so quickly and vigorously. If you want a better ride like this, the Buzz Lightyear ride at Magic Kingdom is a better way to go, and the line is always shorter. Please, save your neck the agony.

4.     Soarin’

I’ll admit, this is a ride worth riding once, maybe twice if you’re really into it. I happily rode it again after they redid the video for it, and it was pretty damn cool if I say so myself. But I won’t ride it again for another couple of years probably unless I’m forced into it. It’s like going to watch an Omnimax movie over and over again; it’s a lot shorter, true, but it’s just as nauseating. On the plus side, it smells amazing!

5.     Peter Pan’s Flight

I feel bad for putting this down. This ride is a family tradition dating back to my Grandpa White, who my siblings and I never got to meet; it was his favorite ride, and his love for it is somewhat ingrained in everyone in my family. But… The shortest the line usually is? Approximately 45 minutes to an hour. Most of the time it’s 90 minutes or more. While it’s a very unique ride that’s certainly a staple at the park, it’s best to just wait for a firework show to start before going.

WDW Under-appreciated:

1.     Journey Into Imagination With Figment

This was on the person’s original list of “rides that aren’t worth the wait,” and I exclaimed, “No!” when I heard it. This has been one of my favorite rides since I was a child, and to me it embodies everything that the front half of Epcot is about. Science and creativity, balancing curiosity with logic, and allowing your imagination to flow and carry you towards new discovery! Plus, the music is catchy and the line is never too long. What’s not to love?

2.     Dinosaur

I don’t care if Disney gets rid of the rest of the Dino-Land park in Animal Kingdom. But so help me GOD, if they get rid of the Dinosaur ride, I will RIOT! In the perfect balance of science, adventure, and amazing air conditioning, this ride is always my go-to ride at Animal Kingdom. Oh, did I mention that Bill Nye the Science Guy narrates the theory of evolution when you’re in line? Even middle school-Kylie geeked out about that!

3.     The Carousel of Progress

I will never understand how people don’t flock to this ride. It’s heavily air-conditioned. You get to sit and relax your feet. You’re learning technological advancements over the last 100 years in smaller decade-based increments based on the lives of an adorable family. And again, Disney’s coming in clutch with another catchy song! “There’s a great big beautiful tomorrow, just a dream away…”

4.     The People Mover

A mixture between air-conditioned and just cool, windy, and shady, the People Mover has a relatively short line and moves forward very consistently. It’s perfect when you just need a break from the pandemonium that is Magic Kingdom, or when your little ones need to rest, or even if you just want to take a peek at some of your favorite rides (i.e. Space Mountain) from an outside perspective.

5.     Living With the Land

This is…not exactly a ride most people flock to. They’d rather ride the Frozen ride, or Test Track, or something a little more exciting and “razzle-y dazzle-y.” But let me tell you, Living With the Land is freaking cool. When’s the last time you saw a pumpkin in the plastic mold growing into the shape of a Mickey head?

DL Overhyped:

1.     Matterhorn Bobsleds

Aside from the fact that I once almost dropped (and lost) my phone on this ride, it’s just very jerky. If someone hasn’t thrown out their back on this ride yet, I’d be surprised. A tip from a professional, though: the left side is smoother and faster!

2.     Dumbo the Flying Elephant (and the like)

3.     Toy Story Midway Mania!

4.     Autopia

Pretty much the same as the Tomorrowland Speedway above, but…even older. Imagine that.

5.     Peter Pan’s Flight

DL Under-appreciated:

1.     Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride

Is this ride still around? I feel like I remember someone saying it closed. Regardless, this has always been one of my favorites at Disneyland. Pop your kiddo behind the wheel of the car and let ‘em spin it away! Just…maybe cover their eyes at the end when it’s insinuated that Mr. Toad died and went to hell. It can be…traumatic.

2.     Alice in Wonderland

This ride is just…so old-school Disney and awesome. It’s got some of the best aspects of the original Disney rides, like the more traditional-style animatronics and the pull-down lapbars in a peculiar-looking vehicle. You traverse upwards through Wonderland before the doors open up to some higher-up leaves that your caterpillar-mobile traverses before bringing you back to the start of the ride. It’s short, sweet, and perfect if you can catch the line at the right time!

3.     Snow White’s Scary Adventure

This is another one that may not be there anymore? I can never remember! But after they took the Snow White ride out at Walt Disney World (later adding the Seven Dwarves’ Mine Train ride to somewhat replace it), this was the only ride dedicated to Snow White left. It’s cute, well-done, and a little spooky in just the right places. But everything ends with sunshine and rainbows as the ride dumps you back into the heat from its air-conditioned bowels.

4.     Monster’s Inc. Mike & Sulley to the Rescue!

While WDW has the Laugh Floor, nothing quite compares to an actual ride tailored to one of the best classic Pixar movies. Honestly, it’s just like watching the film being fast-forwarded through the less-plot-heavy parts. It’s just…adorable. And worth so, so worth it. Especially for Roz’s comments at the end!

5.     Roger Rabbit’s Car Toon Spin

While it’s nice to have the context of the backstory, it’s not necessary to have seen, “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?” to love and appreciate this ride. Balanced between goofy and a little spooky, even the line as you wait to ride is extremely well done!

Any Disney park is an interesting balance of entertainment, education, magic, and more. It’s important, I think, to work on finding that balance in order to make the most of your trip. If you push too hard, you’ll burn out. If you don’t push hard enough, you’ll miss out. If you follow my advice, you’ll find out that maybe there’s more to visiting Disney than spending an inordinate amount of time standing around and waiting for a ride that may not be worth it.

If you’re interested in hearing more tips and trick for your travels to Disney, you can watch my video about it here!

[livinginlavender]

Game Night: True American

I had a more serious topic planned for this week’s blog post, but it needs a little more TLC before “going public,” if you will. In the meantime, here’s a post about an activity that’s 50% drinking game, 50% life-size Candyland. Or 75% drinking, 25% Candyland. Or 90% drinking and a loose Candyland-like structure.

Depends on who you ask.

The show is New Girl, and the game is True American. It doesn’t make sense until you’re drunk, and it only ever goes downhill (or uphill, depending on your perspective) from there. The rules are confusing, but it makes more sense as you go!

(DISCLAIMER: Consuming alcohol can be dangerous and drinking games often promote significant alcohol consumption. Drink legally and responsibly. Don’t drink if you’re pregnant. Don’t drink and drive. Know and respect your limits. Blah blah blah basically don’t be an idiot. Let’s get started.)

The Background:

1) Pawns, aka cans of beer, are the soldiers of the Secret Order. They create the castle surrounding the King, aka a large bottle of liquor at the center of the castle. The castle is in an X-formation sprawling outward from the King.

2) There are four zones, designated by the extensions of the castle. There is a trail of chairs, cushions, tables, etc. through the zones in a vaguely circular fashion.

3) The floor is molten lava. You must traverse the zones using the aforementioned objects without touching the ground. If you fall, step on, or touch the floor, you’re out.

The Rules:

1) You must have at least one drinkable, open beer on you at all times. If you only have empty beer cans on you, you’re out.

2) You may not have more than three (3) beers with you at a time. If you get caught with more than that, you’re out.

3) If you get out, you must chug/finish a beer or take a shot to get back in.

4) Pawns may only be picked up at the beginning of the game and when on the four (4) designated spots around the castle.

5) Turns may be cyclical or random, depending on preference and level of intoxication.

6) Quotes can be from TV, music, movies, memes, etc. but they must be at least somewhat mainstream or recognizable.

7) You get to move one space on your turn. Other players get to move forward or backward 1-3 spaces on your turn if they win or lose that turn’s “game.”

The Teams (Optional):

1) Everyone holds up a random number of fingers against their foreheads.

2) Anyone holding up one less finger than you is on your team. Unmatched players can team up as needed.

3) If you’re caught with an empty beer and your teammate is on one of the designated spots around the castle, they can toss you a beer.

4) If you get out for any reason, your teammate can chug a beer or take a shot for you to get back in the game.

The Game:

1) It starts off with a rock, paper, scissors tournament to see who becomes the President, aka the player who tips the game off.

2) The President shotguns a beer and yells, “1, 2, 3, 4, JFK!” Everyone else yells, “FDR!” in response. This starts the game; everyone has 7 seconds to grab a pawn and run to a spot.

3) In order to MOVE ONE (1) SPACE, someone yells out, “1, 2, 3!” Everyone must put a number of fingers up, 1-5, and put their hand on their forehead. If no one has the same number as you up, you take a drink and move one space. If you have the same number as someone else, move back one space.

4) In order to MOVE TWO (2) SPACES, someone must call out the first half of a quote (“Four score and _____”), and everyone else must successfully complete it. If you complete it, take a drink and move two spaces. If you don’t complete it, move back two spaces.

5) In order to MOVE THREE (3) SPACES, someone must call out two things that have something in common. If guessed correctly, those people take a drink and move. If no one guesses correctly, the person who called out must reveal the answer. If it’s reasonable by general consensus, the caller drinks and moves forward 3 spaces. Everyone else moves back 3 spaces.

6) The President may yell, “JFK!” at any time at which point everyone must yell, “FDR!” and finish their beer. Keep in mind: the game gets more fun the longer it goes on. Use this power sparingly.

7) When a player finishes their beer, they yell, “All trash belongs…” and all other players respond, “...in the junkyard!” at which point empty cans are thrown into a designated receptacle.

8) To win the game, all pawns must be gone and you have to be the first to drink from the King. You do NOT have to drink the whole bottle (please don’t).

That’s about it! You can add rules, change rules, or completely take some out to suit your fancy. You get to make this game into whatever you want.

The game is True American. It doesn’t make sense until you’re drunk. The rules are confusing, but it makes more sense as you go.

Let’s get started. 1, 2, 3, 4, JFK!

[livinginlavender]

Blood and water; which is thicker?

I have had a great number of people, namely family members, who have repeated the same expression to me over and over again like a mantra: blood is thicker than water. Blood is thicker than water. Blood is thicker than water.

Quite frankly, it’s starting to piss me off.

If you didn’t already know, the actual expression is, “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.” When people use the shortened version, I’ve notice that they’re usually making an excuse for a family member being a selfish asshole. Or trying to guilt you into doing something with your family instead of what you already had planned with friends, or something similar. Which, when put that way, makes them sound like an asshole, so they’ll just say, “Blood is thicker than water.”

But the difference between the shortened version and the original expression is a complete 180 in meaning; the original expression means that the bonds with the family that you find for yourself (your friends, your spouse, your community, etc.) are stronger than the bonds with the family you were born into. At least, they can be.

That isn’t to say that the bonds with your family can’t also be strong, because they can be. But automatically assuming that the ties we’re born with will always be stronger than created ties is foolish.

So, to summarize: stop using inaccurate expressions to make excuses for people that may or may not deserve a second chance. Start recognizing that the bonds we create during our lives can be just as strong as, if not stronger than, the bonds we are born with. And finally, if you have some bonds of either kind that seem to be weakening, look deep inside yourself and openly communicate about it with the person.

Whether it’s of blood or water in either direction, family is important, and in the ends it’s all we have.

[livinginlavender]

A Pebble Can Make a Crater

Have you ever heard the story of David and Goliath? I remember learning about it at Sunday School when I was a kid. I’ll completely oversimplify and majorly cut down the story to its bare-bones:

David was a little guy. He was a good dude, but he was tiny. Goliath was a big dude. Honestly the human personification of the term “douchcanoe.” They decided to duel (sort of). Goliath had a sword, and David had an old-school slingshot. David flings a rock at Goliath and hits him square between the eyes, knocking him out cold, then takes his sword and cuts off his head. Happily ever after, the end.

So why am I telling you this story, as terrible a telling as it was?

Because I want to talk about how something really small can have a huge impact, and I’m not talking about rocks.

My beloved boyfriend, Tanner, has given me permission to tell a little portion of his story. He graduated from Ferris State University this past December with a business degree and, not dissimilar to me, thrust himself eagerly into finding a job. As seems to be becoming the norm for our generation, he was met with much resistance and disappointment.

He spent his first two months as a graduate applying for jobs near-constantly, only receiving rejections if companies bothered to respond to his applications or inquiries at all. Understandably he became discouraged, but (if you know my Tanner at all) he unsurprisingly continued to trudge on ahead, applying for jobs even more vigorously.

Eventually he was called to interview for a customer service representative position. While they happily offered his charismatic self the job, he decided that it wasn’t for him; beyond paying the bills, he wanted something that meant something to him, something that would challenge him and give him purpose.

Not long after, he found himself interviewing for a claims adjuster position at the same company as he simultaneously began working as a host at a local restaurant (the gas to come visit me every other weekend ain’t cheap, folks!). He felt obligated to take the position, and could see himself doing well there; it was flexible, the pay was decent, and it had regular hours. But something didn’t quite feel right.

And then, something spectacular happened.

Last summer, Tanner had applied for an internship at Steelcase, which (for all you non-Michiganders) is a huge furniture company based out of Grand Rapids. Working for them, or even just interning for them, is a pretty big deal. It’s a long-standing, successful company who is positively notorious for treating their employees wonderfully. They have their fair share of long-term employees, as well they should!

As you may have guessed, earning an internship there is no easy feat.

It prides me to say that the only reason Tanner didn’t get the internship last summer was for a scheduling conflict; he wasn’t able to start the internship program early, causing it to run into pre-scheduled plans that couldn’t be changed and couldn’t be missed. They were just as disappointed as he was, and so they parted on good terms, promising to keep in touch.

And keep in touch they did!

Not long after he was offered the claims adjuster position, he got an email from one of his contacts at Steelcase; they had more internship positions open, positions that oftentimes lead to full-time positions within the company upon the internship’s completion. Plus, they were looking to get him started early. Even at only a couple days a week instead of full time, Tanner jumped at the opportunity, eager to finally have found a position that checked off all of the boxes on his list.

As he and I talked about his experience coming out of school and now working in two positions, he brought up one big difference between his job as a host (which he does several days a week) and his internship at Steelcase (which, for now, he works at two days a week): the feeling of making an impact.

In a job like a host, waiter, retail sales associate, or customer service representative, you get preached to often about how what you’re doing matters. How you’re making an impact, or how you’re helping the company succeed, for example. They have to preach those things to you because it’s exceedingly easy in those positions to feel disconnected from any sort of success the company has.

In contrast, being at a job (such as Tanner’s internship at Steelcase) that allows you to utilize your learned skills, to continue learning in an environment that is more directly related to the core of a business, creates a huge impact on how a person views themselves. Two days a week may seem small and insignificant to someone working five days a week or more. But those two days have only reaffirmed to Tanner that he’s capable and desirable as a job candidate and that it’s important to find a job worthy of his skill-set and abilities. His discouragement was his own personal Goliath, but Tanner wasn’t going down without a solid fight, and now he’s come out on the other side triumphant.

So, moral of today’s lesson, children: you can bring down your Goliath. Sometimes you just have to find the right rock (even if it takes a little while)!

[livinginlavender]

Monsieur Rock, meet Mademoiselle Hard Place

Have you ever heard the expression, “Stuck between a rock and a hard place?” Generally, it means that you’re caught between two options that both suck, or maybe two options that you don’t like. You end up feeling like you have to choose between the lesser of two evils, trying to figure out which one is going to end up being less detrimental in the long-run.

I graduated from college in May of 2017 with a B.S. in Marketing, as I’ve mentioned on this blog before. I had (stupidly) decided not to follow in my sister’s footsteps in regards to applying for jobs long before I graduated because… I guess I didn’t think I needed to. It was so easy for her to find a job, why should it be any different for me?

It was different. Very different.

She graduated with a double-major in Marketing and Supply Chain Management, and the latter degree was what got her a job right out of school. I hadn’t given myself that option, deciding to focus on marketing because I was good at it and it came easily to me. What I was really doing, however unknowingly, was limiting my options.

So I graduated and eagerly entered the job hunt, sure that someone would see my resume, call me in for an interview, experience my sharp wit and bubbly personality, and decide to hire me soon thereafter. After all, I have the degree, some experience, and I’ll quickly pick up the rest, right?

Rose-tinted glasses don’t suit me very well, I’ve found.

I searched and searched all summer, applying for any and every job I could. I continually modified my resume, tailored my cover letter, trying to find somewhere that would hire me and allow me to use my sparkling new degree. A couple companies talked with me, but it ultimately came down to one thing: they wanted a candidate with more experience.

How am I supposed to get experience if no one will hire me?

I spread out my search even more. I started applying for temporary positions and internships, even ones that didn’t pay very well. Most of the temp positions never even got back to me, and the internships didn’t want to bring on non-students, which I now was. The rose-tinted glasses faded to clear, and I felt myself begin to panic.

I temporarily moved in with some friends in Michigan in hopes that being in the state would help me more easily find a job. I’d be closer to interview or apply in person, I thought, but I never made it past the resume screenings.

As I mentioned in a previous post, my mom spontaneously got me a job at a Curves in Michigan. It was loosely marketing-based, but I only worked for maybe 20 hours a week. The job challenged me, but not in a way that would help me grow; I began to deeply doubt my abilities and self-worth. I was severely depressed, but I stuck it out for four months before deciding it would be more detrimental if I stayed, and so I left.

I moved back home. My dad started reaching out to his connections. I realized I didn’t really have any, which was a huge part of my problem. I kept applying for jobs, gaining and losing hope a lot more quickly than I did before. And that’s mostly what has led to my current rock-and-hard-place situation.

It’s like a deadline has been slowly approaching and the last year of my life has been wasted; there will be oceans of new graduates in the next month-and-a-half to two months, and I’ll be left in the dust. Who wants a college graduate with only four months of working in the entire year since they graduated? Who wants to hire someone who looks to have been sitting on their butt doing nothing, despite all of their unsuccessful efforts to get a job in that time?

It boils down to this: my rock (the need to get a job before new students graduate) and my hard place (going back to school once this month and a half is up) have the potential to be very positive depending on how I view them.

If I go with the rock (which is my personal preference), I’ll have a job, be gaining experience, and be working with people. But that, of course, is assuming there’s someone out there willing to take a chance on me; just because I know who I am and what I’m capable of doesn’t mean that anyone else can see it by looking at a piece of paper detailing my achievements.

If I go with the hard place, I’ll be furthering my education (which I planned to do anyway), and I’ll potentially set myself up for a great job in the future. But my parents saved up and paid for my undergraduate degree with the agreement that any further education I’d want would be out of my own pocket. Without a job that has a reimbursement program, I have no way to pay for furthering my education without taking out loans, and…well. With it getting harder for students to pay back loans (hello, interest rates), and the cost of higher education inexplicably increasing year by year, it may not be my most plausible option, even if it’s all I have.

I always expected that life was like a flow chart: if you do A, it takes you to B. If you do B1, you’ll get to box C. If you do B2, you’ll get to box D. But sometimes, you do A, and magically pop up at box Q. Or you skip A, but somehow find your way to D. There isn’t one way to go through life, or be successful, or get to where you ultimately want to go.

That can be frustrating for a structure-loving planner.

So here I am, caught between two options with entirely different sets of pros and cons, wobbling back and forth in an attempt to decide which to fully commit to. There’s technically no right or wrong answer, but the pressure to make the “correct” choice is weighing me down like a ton of bricks. Or feathers. Really, just a ton of any solid object that seems to be subtly suffocating me with the way gravity is pulling on it.

If you’re a current college student, or even if you’re currently advising college students, this is what I hope you take away from my experience: I spent a great deal of time in college focusing on classes and grades, which is good. But the four most important factors to getting a job after college are these:

1. Do internships. Do as many internships as you can. I don’t care if your university tells you that one is enough, or if they don’t require an internship at all; take any opportunity you can to get formal experience.

2. Make connections. Stay in touch with the people you intern with, join clubs on campus, join organizations off campus, whatever. Get in contact with people, stay in contact with people, and utilize those peoples’ connections to expand your network.

3. Get some “leadership” experience. That doesn’t mean, “Go be the president of six different clubs!” You can head fundraising and event committees. Be an intramural sport team captain. Be the treasurer for a club on campus. Get that informal experience!

4. Keep a portfolio of ALL of your work, good and bad. You can always weed through it later, but you can only weed through the work you decided to keep, so keep all of it!

If you’re currently in a similar situation to mine, I have something to say to you too: keep your chin up. It’s incredibly easy to put yourself down and beat yourself up over the extra mile you could have gone, or the decision you “should” have made. Channel your inner Elsa and let it go; THE PAST IS IN THE PAAAAAAST!

But seriously. Chin up. Eyes forward. You can’t change your past decisions, but the future is in your hands. Start a blog (like me!), make an Etsy shop (also...like me…), or get into freelancing (which...I’m trying to do, I guess?). It’s easy to sit on your butt and apply for jobs day in and day out. In the meantime, work on yourself, personally and professionally. Find your focus, hunker down, and hone your skills.

We’ll get there. We always do.

[livinginlavender]

Brand Loyalty Ain’t Dead

I recently saw, not for the first time, an article posted by a generally reputable news sources (in this case, Forbes) declaring, “Brand loyalty is dead!” I groaned. Out loud. Which would have been embarrassing had it not been into the quiet of my room where I was sitting all by myself.

I can say, with 100% certainty, that brand loyalty is not dead. But it’s either very sick or dying, and I assure you it’s not the fault of the consumer. Having worked in retail, I know that the customer isn’t always right (sorry, guys, but it’s true!), but the blame for this one lands solely on the companies expecting loyalty from consumers without offering them much of anything in return.

In writing this post, I’m almost getting flashbacks to the “essays” they made us write in elementary school; I have three points, pieces of advice, whatever you want to call it, for the companies who want consumers to be loyal to their brand: differentiation, bang-for-your-buck-ness, and ethics. Let’s get started.

One of the biggest problems that brands are facing is that they aren’t differentiating themselves. Having a funny commercial isn’t going to make someone pay $2 more for your “brand name” ibuprofen when the generic version is right next to it on the shelf, just as effective and cheaper.

You need to show potential customer that your product is more worthwhile than the other products on the market because it actually is, not because of a ridiculous marketing gimmick. This is coming from someone who has studied marketing and also happens to be a consumer: I see the crap that companies out there try to pull, and I can see why it isn’t working.

Instead of skimping on higher-quality and safer products, invest in them. Don’t wait until your company has a scandal about how your product causes cancer or thyroid problems or skin irritation; be proactive about it. It’s likely you can even capitalize on it by letting consumers know about the horrible ingredients in your competitors’ products and the problems they can cause. In an ideal world, that would lead to them changing too which could lead to an overall healthier population with an even more positive view of your company. Everybody wins, and you get to say that you led the charge.

Transitioning into my second point: to use a term my parents are fond of, products need to give consumers enough “bang for their buck.” If you haven’t heard this phrase before, let me briefly explain: consumers need to feel that what they’re buying is actually worth what they’re paying for it. Set products at a fair price that gives the consumer value for what they’re paying instead of trying to trick them into paying more unnecessarily; customers will appreciate it and happily become return-customers.

Finally, you need to be focusing on the ethics of what you’re doing and you will gain a following. Don’t focus on how you’ll hide a potential future scandal; prevent it in the first place. Let your potential customers know that they’re important to you and that you value their input, because they should be important and you should care what they have to say. They may not always be right, but listening to them is the first step in building a brand that they WANT to be loyal to.

Think about what’s best for them, not just what’s best for you.

Consumers appreciate sincerity, openness, and honesty. That’s why “muckrakers” were so important back in the day (and still are now), and that’s why transparency is so important.

Trust me, I get it. It’s easy to focus on the numbers. They don’t sass back, they don’t swear at you or get pissed off, and they can be manipulated to tell you what you want to hear. People aren’t like that, and when it comes to consumers, you won’t be able to please everyone. That’s fine, you don’t have to; there’s a reason it’s better to have a wide range of companies within any given sector of business than to have monopolies.

But if brands want to bring back the concept of “brand loyalty” they need to start being loyal to their customers in return.

[livinginlavender]

The Over-saturation of Everything

I’m exasperated with the world that we live in for a seemingly infinite number of reasons, and it’s hard to know where to start when I’m in the mood to talk about it. “So much to talk about, so little time,” you know? Today I’d like to discuss something that I’m particularly passionate about, which is a little something I call the “over-saturation of everything.”

Superhero movies. Movie and television reboots. Ads on every surface. Microbreweries. Star Wars films. “Hip” coffee shops. Shows with upwards of 10 seasons.

They. Are. Everywhere.

It’s incredibly frustrating! As consumers, we are being overwhelmed by everything that we see. I haven’t seen a Marvel movie since Doctor Strange (although seeing Black Panther is on my to-do list) simply because they’ve all begun to blur together in such a way that I don’t have time between one and the next to say, “Hey, you know what’d be great? Another Marvel movie!”

They don’t even give you time from one movie to the next to want to see the next one!

There seems to be too much of everything, and everything is being turned into a “cash cow.” And whenever an original idea comes out that’s actually original, it’s practically revolutionary, because God forbid anyone has an idea of their own anymore.

Look, I get it. I have a B.S. in Marketing. When something huge happens, like Twilight or Harry Potter, it’s hard to not want to jump on the bandwagon. Does anyone else remember how absurdly over-saturated the Young Adult Fantasy section became? Every other book was either about vampires or young witches and wizards, sometimes even both!

But of course, they can’t just stop at books. There’s the merchandise for the books. Then the movies based on them. Sometimes a spin-off book series, or two or three. Movies for the spinoffs. Sometimes a TV show or Netflix Original Series. Of course that all comes with more merchandise, because why wouldn’t it? Heck, Harry Potter has entire sections of theme parks dedicated to it: rides, books, merchandise, shows, restaurants, and more!

Believe me. I am a proud Hufflepuff with a strong love of Harry Potter, but I can’t be the only one who thinks that’s all a little over the top.

My point is that scarcity is a very valuable asset that companies are not utilizing to its fullest extent, if they bother to try utilizing it at all. Building up tension and suspense, making people ask for the next...whatever they’re going to ask for, is absolutely necessary if they want to keep their brand at the forefront of consumers’ minds.

Good, quality content isn’t like butter; you can’t just churn it out!

[livinginlavender]

They are the future. The future is now.

I am, by default, a passionate person. I used to be openly and aggressively passionate about everything before realizing, several unnecessary arguments later, that sometimes it’s best to keep my opinion to myself. Not because my opinion is wrong or unjustified, but because most often arguing with strangers won’t change opinions and just leads to negative feelings for the rest of the day. Most of the time it isn’t worth arguing over.

This, in my opinion, is more than worth it.

If you haven’t heard, the largest mass school shooting in the United States’ history took place on February 14th, 2018. There were 17 people killed and 14 injured at Mary Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida. As expected, this event drew much media attention.

I considered writing a blog post about my opinions on the matter. How I felt about gun control, the history of other countries successes and failures to stop mass shootings, how mass killings are still possible without the use of guns, etc. But I didn’t, and I still don’t plan to. And that’s not what I’m talking about today.

Today I’m talking about the future. Generation Z.

They are a generation stereotyped by their laziness, short attention spans, and obsession with social media and taking selfies. They need the validation of other people, older generations say. They’re infatuated with celebrities, they don’t care about what’s going on in the world around them, and they can’t get off their damn phones.

At least, so “they” say.

But here we are, nearing the end of the second month of 2018, and Generation Z has proved themselves more than capable of not being lazy. Of paying attention to the world around them. Actively caring about politics and making a change. And yet they’re still being berated. Why?

This blog post was sparked by a comment on an article posted by Wood TV, a Grand Rapids, Michigan news outlet, onto their Facebook page:

Facebook comment on “Vicksburg Middle School Hold Walkout” article by Wood TV. February 27, 2018.

The article pertains to a walkout that took place earlier this morning at Vicksburg Middle School in Vicksburg, Michigan. It was held as a protest to gun violence, as well as to honor the 17 students who died in the Parkland school shooting. The students were peacefully protesting, getting onto the news, and making their voices heard on an issue that strikes very close to home for them: violence in schools.

And in comes this woman, telling them that they are incapable of having sound opinions. Telling them that their desire for safety and security in their place of learning is a “perspective,” and that they aren’t making any change at all.

Like Emma Gonzalez, I’m calling B.S.

People want to say the Gen Z kids aren’t making a difference? Let’s take a look at the facts:

1. In less than 2 weeks, more than a dozen companies have cut ties with the NRA and its members, abolishing discounts and special treatments that were previously available.

2. Parkland shooting survivor David Hogg is actively working to call out companies and government officials that continue to partner with the NRA.

3. Emma Gonzalez, Parkland shooting survivor and now-advocate, created a new Twitter account after the shooting. In the past 2 weeks, she has collected 1.08 Million followers. The NRA Twitter has less than 600K followers and has been on the site for 9 years.

4. Students across the country have organized walk-outs, sit-ins, lie-ins, benefit concerts, rallies, and marches. They’re garnering media attention from coast to coast and making themselves heard, regardless of their age and voter status.

5. Universities have come out in support of students peacefully protesting, stating that any disciplinary actions resulting from such protesting won’t affect their admission.

6. This movement has garnered the attention of nearly every major media outlet in the country, as well as influential celebrities like Mark Ruffalo, Josh Gad, Morgan J Freeman, and many more.

7. Survivors have met with state lawmakers and NRA representatives at a town hall hosted by CNN, bringing further light to the issues and how the people in power feel about them versus what the people want.

All of that? Just scratching the surface. It hasn’t even been a month since the shooting and they’ve managed all of that.

So go ahead, older generations, by all means! Mock youths for their love of social media, for their “unworldly” views, for their love of celebrity influencers. They know exactly how to manipulate the social media algorithms, weed through the flowery promises, get straight to the facts, and get their message to important people who can spread the word. Mock them for their ferocity, their passion, their willingness to speak their mind. Tell them they’re too young, that they don’t know any better, that they should just sit down, shut up, and let the adults handle things.

Some of the greatest accomplishments of our country have been at the hands of or with the aid of young people. This includes the revolution that gave our country life. When the Declaration of Independence was signed, Alexander Hamilton was 21. James Monroe was 18. Aaron Burr was 20. Betsy Ross was 24. The ages of the people who signed that monumental document ranged in age from 26 to 70, all working together for a better future for every person who has come to this country. To assume that young people are incapable of amazing feats simply because of their age is to sell them painfully short.

These teenagers have the power and the tools to start something revolutionary, to advance society regarding a cause that they strongly believe in. To quote a MSD High School senior, Delaney Tarr, “Speaking from the heart is what we do best. It is based in passion, and it is based in pain. Our biggest flaws―our tendency to be a bit too aggressive, our tendency to lash out, things that you expect from a normal teenager―these are our strengths.”

Even the Broward County Sheriff, Scott Israel, told students, “My generation, we did not get it done. You will get it done.” And if these students, if this generation continues down the path they are currently going, I truly believe they will change the world for the better.

Because they can, and now they know it.

[livinginlavender]

Realistic Relationship Requirements

I came across an article that set me off (what else is new?) that I want to discuss. It was entitled, “19 Signs You Should Marry Your Partner.” It piqued my interest, as titles are wont to do, and I regretted the decision to open it up and start reading within the first thirty seconds.

This is what people think makes for a lasting marriage? I thought to myself. Knowing what you like for breakfast? Being good with kids? Being in touch with childhood friends? What does any of that have to do with being married?

To a certain extent, I get it. They have successful long-term relationships, they pay attention to you, they’d maybe be a good parent; these are all very important qualities. But Tanner and I have been together for 4 years now (fist-bump), and… Well. I think it can be broken down to be way simpler than that. Here are 3 signs you and your partner could be in it for the long-haul.

1) You have adequate and open communication. This one’s hard to pin down. What does it mean to have “adequate” communication? It depends on the couple. Some prefer to be texting throughout their entire day. Others might like to come home from work and have what I call a “decompression session,” where they can discuss everything that happened that day in one fell swoop.

Regardless of how often you feel the need to communicate with your partner, you should both be happy with the frequency of your communication. If one of you isn’t, that’s where the “open” part comes in: from what I’ve seen and experienced, honesty and openness are two of the most common problems couples have. Keeping things bottled up can cause negative feelings to fester, and eventually come to light under less-than-happy circumstances. Can you live the rest of your lives not knowing if you can really trust what the other person is saying?

2) Your priorities are aligned. They want kids. You don’t, but think, Maybe they’ll change after we’re married! Let me clue you in: it’s very rare that people flip-flop on something that significant. You need to talk about the big decisions before you consider spending the rest of your lives together: Do you want kids? How many? Will you raise your children in a particular religion? How much money should you spend without consulting one another? Do you want a house or an apartment? Living in a city or a small town? How do you both feel about pets?

It can be a scary conversation, but it’s better to hash out everything early on. It leaves more time for compromises and decision-making before problems arise. Plus, talking about potential points of contention in advance means that you can have more than one conversation on the matter. This allows you to work through issues in a less stressful environment and (hopefully) leads to a happier ending.

3) You know how to love each other. Tanner HATES getting gifts the majority of the time; if I buy him something, it needs to actually mean something or serve a purpose (i.e. the cool wallet I picked up for him at Comic Con, or when I perpetually buy him new socks). Instead, he likes it when we’re touching and spending time together. Holding hands in the grocery store? Best. Day. Ever.

In my family, we love by giving gifts, even just little ones. It’s a way for us to say, “I was thinking of you and this is my way of showing it.” I’ve had to learn over the last four years that the way I’ve been taught to love isn’t necessarily the way he needs to be loved; for some couples it can be a major adjustment, and an important one at that. If you haven’t yet figured out how to love each other, screw the “19 signs” they’re telling you. Tying the knot should be far from the forefront of your mind.

There’s no one way to have a relationship. There’s no such thing as a perfect relationship or marriage and, if you ask me, there never will be. But neither Tanner nor I feel the need to strive for “perfection” in our relationship; we want to be happy. We want to have a healthy, balanced relationship where we both enjoy our status as equals. We try to talk about problems early and often, before they become real issues. We talk about hopes, dreams, and expectations for the future. We try to love each other the way we each need to be loved, and even if it doesn’t always work, we can at least say that we tried and offer each other forgiveness.

No article can offer you a definitive step-by-step guide on how to make big life decisions, and maybe listening to the advice of a 23-year-old doesn’t seem to be in your best interest. But I’ve spent my entire life witnessing relationships that lasted a lifetime, that imploded after a week, and most things in between. After years of paying attention to what helps and hurts a relationship, and taking all of these lessons to heart, I do hope that you’ll take my advice under genuine consideration. Beyond that, I can’t tell you what to do, but I hope this made you think. That’s all I can ask for.

[livinginlavender]

A New Beginning (?)

Today was the last day of me working as a “Sales and Marketing Specialist” for Curves/Jenny Craig. I’m having a lot of conflicting feelings about the whole affair, which started at the very beginning.

I didn’t really apply for the job. I was somewhat thrust into the position. My mom has been a “lifetime” Jenny Craig member since I was a kid (basically meaning she can start and stop whenever she wants), so the whole thing was really facilitated by her. Which was perfectly fine! When my future boss described to me during the interview what she’d be looking for, I was nervous (and knew I’d have to do a lot of growing), but was eager to step up to the plate.

It started out wonderfully. I loved learning about the companies, how their programs worked, and how I could help facilitate those programs’ success through marketing and coaching. I had two binders full of informational materials that I kept on-hand at all times at work, just in case I’d need it.

When the groundwork for my training was done, I was thrust again into the most important aspect of my job: marketing in the local community. This mostly meant walking into various businesses within a 20-minute radius and asking them to “co-market” with us. This is where I began to have problems.

My dad has always said that there are two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. Givers can take and takers can give, but ultimately they are what they are. And ever since I was a wee little thing, I’ve always, always been a giver.

When it comes to marketing, I excel in positions where I am pushing towards a goal, where I feel like I’m giving to whatever company or organization I’m working for. I am a giver, and that’s what I do best: I want to give everything I have to the company I work for. That, in this case, was my biggest downfall.

I was taking. Every single day, every conversation, I was taking. Asking people to put out fliers, standees, or lead boxes. Asking people for their name, their story, their phone number. Asking them to come in and give us a try, to see what we’re all about.

Asking, asking, asking. Taking, taking, taking.

It finally came to a head just before Christmas. I was driving to work and got into a tiff with my boyfriend over the phone. It was an argument we’d gotten into before, but for some reason, it was enough to send me over the edge that day. For the first time in a long time I had a full-blown panic attack in the parking lot just outside of the fitness center, and I couldn’t bring myself down. My boss told me to take the day off, which I gladly did; how could I be expected to “take” all day when I didn’t even have the energy to “give,” despite it coming so easily to me?

I felt guilty. So deeply, unbelievably guilty. Why couldn’t I do this job justice? Why wasn’t it making me happy? Why was I unable to excel at marketing, the one thing I’d decided I was truly passionate about? The holidays rolled through peacefully, but I felt my emotions continuing to spiral downwards.

And then, one night, I finally decided to call my mom.

My mother, for anyone who doesn’t know, is an absolute saint. She has patience seemingly without end. Her hugs can make the strongest person in the world burst into tears, eager to tell her everything that’s troubling them. She’s the kind of woman who finds out the life-story of a stranger she met in line at the grocery store, and she leaves them with an optimistic smile and a brighter outlook on life.

She’s amazing, to put it very lightly, and a force to be reckoned with.

Before I could even get most of the words out, she knew everything, and she understood perfectly. Then she spoke the words that made the weight of the past few months flee from my shoulders:

“It’s time to come home.”

I had spent the last four months (even longer, really) feeling like an absolute failure, and to hear those words? To know that she wasn’t upset with me, to know that she still unconditionally loved me, to know that it was okay to come home where I would always be safe? It allowed me to see everything clearly for the first time in a long time.

I don’t regret a moment of it. It’s clear that this sort of job wasn’t meant for someone like me, but I learned and grew so much. I had the opportunity to meet and get to know some amazing women through both Curves and Jenny Craig, including my strong, confident boss of a boss. In the end, it sort of felt like an internship; it helped set me back on a path towards what I want to do.

This has been a hard, and occasionally painful, learning process, but I’m only 23. I’m young and have plenty of life ahead of me to figure out who I am and what I want to do. I am so appreciative that I had this opportunity to learn, change, and grow over the last four months. I’ve come out on the other side with a renewed sense of purpose and a newfound determination to find a job I can fully throw myself into and do what I do best.

Give.

[livinginlavender]

Introduction

I don’t know what I’m trying to accomplish. I’ve already set up a “professional” blog on my portfolio website. I keep a journal that I write in pretty regularly, so I’ve no need to use a blog like this for that. I guess...there are things that I can see myself being interested in discussing or writing down that aren’t necessarily well-suited to a professional blog.

So, here we are.

My name is Kylie. I’m a 23-year-old college graduate with a Bachelors in Marketing and nothing substantial to show for it. I like to run when it’s not below 40 degrees Fahrenheit; I’ve only participated in two half-marathons, a 10K, and two 5K races. I’m not good at it, but... I try.

I used to paint a lot. I’m not great with a flat canvas, but I found myself with a knack for painting shoes. I used to actively run an Etsy Shop called BubblyEmbellishments, but those days seem to be long behind me. Between college and getting smacked in the face with the real world, painting has been on the bottom of my priority list, and I don’t even know if I can do it anymore, to be honest.

I love animals. Like, I love animals. Particularly dogs, but I wouldn’t complain if a cat curled up on my lap or if someone offered to let me hold their pet snake.

I’m passionate about just about everything life has to offer. I become infatuated when the sky is really blue, or when there’s great contrast in an overcast sky. I fall in love with the noise and chaos of Chicago and but feel at home in the peaceful quiet of a small town. I might spend a relaxing night at a bar with dark wood and live music, then spend the next day traipsing through the woods on worn-down paths.

I love lavender. It’s my favorite flower. I love each little petal that makes it up. It’s not one big and bold bloom, like a sunflower; every small individual part is what makes the whole plant beautiful. Plus, they’re a gorgeous color and they smell divine!

I haven’t got much else to say at the moment, but this is me. Here I am. These are the things I have to say. And...that’s that.