Living Life Widowed

[livinglifewidowed]

3 Years, 4 months and 1day💔💛💛 I have been widowed for 3 years, 4 months and 1 day today. It seems like years ago but it also seems like yest

[livinglifewidowed]

LIVING LIFE WIDOWED- 3years, 3 months, 27 days In between spurts of Easter shopping and Easter traditions I have to admit that I have sadnes

[livinglifewidowed]

Everyone grieves differently. There is no correct way to grieve.

Grief is not a disease that needs to be healed. Grief is a normal response to the loss of a loved one.

The key is to learn to live with grief. To accept grief and make peace with grief.

My grief is my roommate that shares my psyche, my soul, my emotions.

Like any good roommates we have house rules in order to dwell together in peace.

You don't get over grief nor move past grief. You move forward, into your grief.

You learn to live and grieve simultaneously.

To be successful at Living Life Widowed ypu learn to smile through your tears.

[livinglifewidowed]

Today I really, really felt the loneliness of widowhood.

I felt the lack of the 24 hour a day companionship.

Of knowing that someone is there for you no matter what.

That through the ups and downs of life someone has your back no matter what.

I felt the tendrils of the original loss reaching out to rebreak the mosaic of the new me that I worked so hard to recreate when the rendering apart of our souls, as he went to Heaven and left me behind, shattered who I was or ever thought I would be.

What precipitated this resurgence of sorrow?

What caused my roommate, Grief, to come out of her room and start raising Hell?

A dental appointment.

A couple of fillings and one tooth pulled.

All day as I worked, laughing, talking, cajoling with my various clients in the back of my mind was that I would be going to the dentist after work.

Now, I have done so many things that I never imagined I would do since being widowed. Things much more serious and complicated then going to the dentist.

That is the thing about grief, about sorrow, about living with loss, about Living Life Widowed.

The smallest, the most mundane thing can cause grief to wake up, to gain control, to give you that feeling that it is never going to get better.

That you are never going to be happy.

That you will never feel whole and complete again.

Grief can be very devious, devastating, dishonest.

Grief tells you that this is your life now, that you have no control, no chance for happiness.

I am here to tell you that I am feeling melancholy.

I am feeling alone.

I am sad, depressed, a bit devastated.

A dental appointment that was so simple and not a big deal at all seems to be what woke up my roommate this time.

It happens.

3 years, 2 months and 26 days out has been long enough that I know it will get better.

I do not have complete control over my grief but I am learning to control how I respond to it.

I will write more about that another day.

For tonight know that I am grieving, I am crying and I am mourning deeply.

Tomorrow I will stand up and conquer another day.