catdad

late 20s, he/him

[livorde]

you left. you stayed gone. and yet, every night, there you are. in my sleep. tell me what i’m supposed to do with that.

[livorde]

the yearning, it never leaves. and it just hits you on a random 4am.

[livorde]

I had my face cut with a thousand needles. The things i do because i trust my doctor a little too much.

[livorde]

the doctor was right, i was wrong. doctor 1, me 0.

[djotime]

Obsession 2026, dir. Curry Barker

[livorde]

this wasnt the horror i was expecting, but i’ve been thinking about this movie since last night. and it still creeps me out.

[livorde]

there's a cattochan who comes to my balcony. uninvited, unbothered, with those 4 tiny grey and white paws. comes by often.

he sticks his head through the railings, tail wiggling. he reminds me of those retired grandpas who finally have the time to enjoy life a little.

today i opened the door without checking. our eyes met. his went huge. no longer unbothered, i was his next kill. i mean, i ruined his little joyous moment, that i did.

i was the intruder. we held the moment like two people who had walked into the wrong meeting.

i closed the door slowly. don't mind me. you enjoy your view. i'm not even here.

i'd like to think he forgave me. maybe i will befriend him. it's june after all.

[livorde]

how do i tell someone that the alleged drunk text that i sent them, i was fully sober when i sent it.

[livorde]

i was craving something spicy. soo i dumped chilli into a midnightyy snack i made.

then it was all chilli, no salt. added salt.

now it tastes terrible.

still hungry. and salty about it.

[livorde]

Rajat patidar has this very Madhya pradeshi swag! A subtle mix of arrogance, and sweetness.

[livorde]

okay so one month ago i made a list. seven things about myself i wasn’t happy with. personal stuff. professional stuff. the works.

didn’t tell anyone. just wrote it down and started working on it.

and as a direct consequence, i ran my first 5k this morning. 38 minutes. not fast i know. dont care. i did something i never did before. i am proud. a lil too proud.

[livorde]

my favorite month is here!

[laterkiss]

guys what happens if u are full of love

[livorde]

oh you, my poor summer child

[livorde]

I had my face cut with a thousand needles. The things i do because i trust my doctor a little too much.

[livorde]

i haven’t heard your voice in ages. i didn’t know that was a thing you could miss until i missed it.

[livorde]

i'm flawed. in a lot of ways. some of them are mine. old, deep, hard to look at. some of them i picked up from people who handed them to me without asking. some of them born out of my stubbornness.

some of my flaws aren't even flaws. i just couldn't see past them. i'm not the most forgiving person. i'll forgive you in a heartbeat. myself, not so much. nobody really teaches you that, do they?

so i started working on them. the flaws. all of them.

here's what i did. don't laugh.

i made a list.

it's long. longer than i wanted it to be. things i'm not proud of. things i wish i did better. things i wish i was naturally good at and never have been. things that were given to me by people who weren't careful with what they gave.

some of them, i can't fix. i'm learning to accept that. some of them, i can. i'm learning to accept that too. which is harder, somehow. accepting the thing you have to do something about is heavier than accepting the thing you can't.

yesterday i spent one minute. just one. fixing something on the list.

it felt good. genuinely. small, but good.

today i'm a little less flawed than yesterday. and yesterday a little less than the day before. that's all i'm doing. that's the whole plan.

[livorde]

Tall palm trees and kaleidoscope dreams I'm at home thinkin' 'bout you and me

[romiiarts]

i will love you forever