[rtherpmeme]

ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʙᴀʙʏ sᴇɴᴛᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴍᴇᴍᴇ!

      PREGNANCY -

❝ We’re going to be parents! ❞ ❝ Did you feel him/her/them kick!? ❞ ❝ Do you want to feel the baby? ❞ ❝ I’m pregnant…and it’s yours. ❞ ❝ Do you think I’ll make a good mother/father? ❞ ❝ What are you hoping for? ❞ ❝ I feel so nauseous today… ❞ ❝ What should we name him/her/them? ❞ ❝ How many diapers do you think we’ll need? ❞ ❝ You’re crying over a puppy? ❞ ❝ Is just strawberry okay? They didn’t have strawberries and cream. ❞ ❝ I’ve read this book four times I’m basically an expert by now. ❞ ❝ Boy or girl? ❞ ❝ Wait, do we have everything on this list I found? ❞ ❝ Can you put the crib together? I’m so tired. ❞ ❝ This kid can come out anytime it’s ready. ❞       ❝ You’re glowing. ❞ ❝ How far along are you? ❞ ❝ Please don’t freak out…but I’m pregnant. I SAID DON’T FREAK OUT. ❞ ❝ Hospital. Now! ❞ ❝ I think that was a contraction… ❞ ❝ The due date’s not until next week! ❞

     NEW BABY -

❝ S/He’s your kid before five in the morning. ❞ ❝ We need to go on a diaper run again. ❞ ❝ We’re out of formula–where’s the other can!? ❞ ❝ Ugh, s/he spit up on my good shirt! ❞ ❝ S/he won’t stop crying, I don’t know what to do. ❞         ❝ Please take him/her, I’m going to go crazy with the screaming. ❞ ❝ Is it even possible for a baby to scream so much!? ❞ ❝ Should they be breathing like that? ❞ ❝ I need to go check on the baby. ❞     ❝ If you never put him/her down you’ll spoil him/her. ❞ ❝ Daddy/Mommy’s little girl/boy! ❞ ❝ Good morning, little spawn of Satan! ❞ ❝ Shhh, they’re finally asleep.  ❞     ❝ Dammit, I just got them to sleep! ❞ ❝ Be careful, s/he’s a hair puller…. ❞ ❝ Where’s the pacifier!? ❞ ❝ I can’t find his/her blanket, please help me. ❞     ❝ I’ve been up since four this morning, it’s your turn. ❞ ❝ I found you and the baby sleeping in the recliner at six am and it was so precious. ❞ ❝ Stroller, diaper bag, playpen, blanket, bottles, what else do we need before we go to your parents? ❞ ❝ A babysitter!? Are you insane!? ❞     ❝ You’re going to spoil them. ❞     ❝ We can’t go out with the baby, that’s just asking for trouble. ❞ ❝ Baby’s awake… ❞ ❝ S/he’s so precious…. ❞ ❝ This is our son/daughter…. ❞ ❝ We make damn beautiful babies. ❞ ❝ Look at his/her little feet… ❞ ❝ S/he has your eyes. ❞ ❝ Do not dress him/her in that! ❞     ❝ Be careful with him/her! ❞ ❝ Did you remember to pack his/her toy? ❞ ❝ His/her first tooth came in today. Already bit me.❞ ❝ Did you hear that? That was a cough.❞           

        CHILDREN -

❝ The kids won’t stop fighting. ❞ ❝ We should have another. ❞ ❝ Stop giving them dessert before dinner! ❞ ❝ You’re going to spoil them rotten… ❞ ❝ You need to learn not to fall for the puppy dog eyes.  ❞ ❝ I just love them so much!? ❞     ❝ How are we going to break the news to them that they’re getting a brother/sister? ❞ ❝ Their screaming woke the baby… ❞     ❝ I’m a horrible mother/father… ❞ ❝ How can you make the baby hush and I can’t? ❞ ❝ Was that a word!? ❞ ❝ His/her first word better not be a damn cuss word! ❞     ❝ You look exhausted. ❞ ❝ First steps! First steps! ❞ ❝ Watch, s/he can roll over now! ❞ ❝ I don’t want anyone else watching our baby/children. ❞     ❝ They totally wanted to build the pillow fort, not me. ❞ ❝ Can you manage dropping them off? ❞ ❝ Damn terrible twos, right? ❞ ❝ How did they outgrow their clothes so fast!? ❞    ❝ I think we make damn good parents. ❞ ❝ Why are both you and the baby crying? ❞ ❝ Here, I’ll watch him/her, you go relax. ❞ ❝ I haven’t been able to put her/him down all morning/day/night. ❞     ❝ S/he doesn’t want me, s/he wants you! ❞ ❝ S/he just ran into the coffee table, don’t worry. ❞ ❝ Stop fighting with me in front of the kid/s! ❞ ❝ We shouldn’t have dressed the twins in matching outfits… ❞     ❝ Can I hold him/her? ❞ ❝ S/he has separation anxiety because you never put them down! ❞ ❝ My mother always hoped my kids would end up like me…I’m so sorry. ❞ ❝ I wouldn’t let them do ____, so they started crying. ❞   ❝ Oh, s/he’s just a little angel! ❞ ❝ Hello, little one! ❞ ❝ I can babysit if you’d like. ❞ ❝ Guess who broke your favorite ____. ❞   ❝ Finally got him/her/them to sleep. ❞ ❝ It’s your turn to put him/her/them to bed. ❞ ❝ I hate bath time. ❞ ❝ Can you help me with the kids for five goddamn minutes!? ❞   ❝ I think ____ is jealous of the baby. ❞ ❝ ___ just hit ___, can you do something!? ❞ ❝ Is locking kids in the basement against the law!? ❞ ❝ They’re cute when they’re quiet. ❞ ❝ Maybe taking them to the park will let out all their energy. ❞ ❝ _____ colored on the walls today… ❞ ❝ Look at the mess they made again… ❞                            

[fxcksandfxilures-deactivated201]

i need exes au’s.

we just broke up and you came over to get a box of your stuff from my place but wtf the power went out because of a really bad storm and you shouldn’t be driving in this just … chill for a couple of hours, okay?

we broke up years ago and both moved away, lost touch. now our friends each suggested a blind date and shit, you’re my date apparently. 

we moved into a little apartment together while we were dating and then we broke up but neither of us could really afford to get our own place so now we’re stuck as roommates, watching each other bring home random one night stands or dates.

you were my brother/sister’s best friend and that’s how we met, and started dating. now we broke up and you’re obviously still friends with them, and you spend nights at my place but now it’s just awkward to run into you in the hall way at 1 am right after my shower.

we broke up right before a giant roadtrip our friends planned and we don’t want to bail on everyone and ruin the trip so yay, looks like we get to spend a five hour drive and a weekend in a cottage together.

we were our high school’s golden couple but we went to different colleges and the distance broke us up. fifteen years later, i’m in the middle/just getting over a bad marriage and you’re having your own relationship problems and it’s the high school reunion.

we dated pretty seriously and your parents were also absentee. now we are broken up and it’s like five years later and your absentee father is my new boss.

[vaememes]

✿ ———— beauty and the beast sentence starters.

’ How can you read this? There’s no pictures! ’ ’ Well, some people use their imagination… ’ ’ This is the day your dreams come true. ’ ’ I’m-I’m speechless. I really don’t know what to say. ’ ’ Say you’ll marry me! ’ ’ I just don’t deserve you! ’ ’ I want to do something for him/her… but what? ’ ’ No, no! It’s got to be more something more special than that! ’ ’ This is yet another example of the late neoclassic Baroque period. ’ ’ If I didn’t know better, I’d think you had feelings for this monster. ’ ’ I thought I told you to come down to dinner! ’ ’ I’m not hungry! ’ ’ You’ll come out, or I’ll-I’ll-I’ll break down the door! ’ ’ Will you come down to dinner? ’ ’ It would give me great pleasure… ’ ’ We say please. ’ ’ You can’t stay in there forever! ’ ’ Fine! Then go ahead and starve! ’ ’ Oh dear. That didn’t go very well at all, did it? ’ ’ If she/he doesn’t eat with me, then she/he doesn’t eat at all! ’ ’ Who said anything about the castle being enchanted? ’ ’ It was you, wasn’t it? ’ ’ Oh, you look so… so… ’ ’ Not quite the word I was looking for, but perhaps a - little more off the top. ’ ’ Maybe some other time… ’ ’ _______, you are positively primeval! ’ ’ Why did you come here? ’ ’ Do you realize what you could have done? ’ ’ I didn’t mean any harm. ’ ’ Please… stop… ’ ’ Who’s there? Who are you? ’ ’ I’ve come for my father. Please, let him out! Can’t you see, he’s sick? ’ ’ Please, I’ll do anything! ’ ’ Oh, there must be some way I can… ’ ’ Then he/she shouldn’t have trespassed here! ’ ’ The master of this castle… ’ ’ Wait! Take me instead. ’ ’ You don’t know what you’re doing! ’ ’ Yes. But… you must promise to stay here forever! ’ ’ Come into the light… ’ ’ You have my word… ’ ’ For who could ever learn to love a beast? ’ ’ Do I still have to sleep in the cupboard? ’ ’ That’s not a request! ’ ’ I’ve been burnt by you before! ’ ’ I’m afraid I’ve been thinking… ’ ’ If you’d hold still, it wouldn’t hurt as much! ’ ’ Well, if you hadn’t have run away, this wouldn’t have happened! ’ ’ If you hadn’t frightened me, I wouldn’t have run away! ’ ’ Well you shouldn’t have been in the west wing! ’ ’ Well, you should learn to control your temper! ’ ’ Now, hold still. This might sting a little. ’ ’ By the way, thank you… for saving my life. ’ ’ Couldn’t keep quiet, could we? ’ ’ Just had to invite him/her to stay, didn’t we? ’ ’ I was trying to be hospitable. ’ ’ I want adventure in the great wide somewhere. ’ ’ I want so much more than they’ve got planned… ’ ’ Well, Your Highness, I must say everything is going just swimmingly. ’ ’ I knew you had it in you, ha ha! ’ ’ You what? How could you do that? ’ ’ I use antlers in all of my decorating! ’ ’ I-I-I was lost in the woods, and-and… ’ ’ Please, I meant no harm. I-I just need a place to stay. ’ ’ What’re you staring at? ’ ’ I’ll give you a place to stay. ’ ’ No, no! Please! Don’t, no! ’ ’ I’d like to thank you all for coming to my wedding. ’ ’ Sir, close that at once! Do you mind? ’ ’ It is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight. ’ ’ Oh, must help her/him to see past all that. ’ ’ Well, you can start by making yourself more presentable. ’ ’ Oh, it’s no use. ’ ’ I don’t know how. ’ ’ Come, come, show me the smile. ’ ’ There’s a stranger here! ’ ’ Pardon me, Master… ’ ’ Leave me in peace. ’ ’ It doesn’t matter now. Just let them come. ’ ’ I’ll show you to your room. ’ ’ Do you wanna stay in the tower? ’ ’ You must control your temper! ’ ’ Of course I came back. I couldn’t let them… oh, this is all my fault! ’ ’ You… you came back. ’ ’ If only I had gotten here sooner. ’ ’ Maybe… maybe… it’s better… it’s better this way. ’ ’ Don’t talk like that! You’ll be alright. ’ ’ We’re together now; everything’s going to be fine, you’ll see… ’ ’ And at least… at least I got to see you… one last time. ’ ’ Please. Please… Please don’t leave me. ’ ’ Well, perhaps there’s something there that wasn’t there before. ’ ’ There may be something there that wasn’t there before. ’ ’ Shh. I’ll tell you when you’re older. ’ ’ I’ll not have you making up such wild stories. ’ ’ Let me go! Let me go, please! Don’t hurt me! I’ll do anything! Anything! ’ ’ I’m… I’m about ready to give up on this hunk of junk. ’ ’ This castle is your home now, so you can go anywhere you like, except the West Wing. ’ ’ I mean it this time! I’ll never get this boneheaded contraption to work! ’ ’ Well, what are we waiting for? ’ ’ I’ll have this thing fixed in no time! ’ ’ You really believe that? ’ ’ Be our guest. ’ ’ Is it dangerous? ’ ’ Oh no, he’d/she’d never hurt anyone. ’ ’ Hmmm. Could you read it again? ’ ’ Why don’t you read it to me? ’ ’ You mean, you never learned? ’ ’ I learned… a little. It’s just been… so long. ’ ’ Well, here, I’ll help you. ’ ’ What would you say if you and I took a walk over to the tavern and took a look at my trophies? ’

[pandoratrash]

Starter || Closed

[lizardgirlabby]

pandoratrash:

“2017? Geez,” Timothy watched as the woman fell back to walk with him, keeping himself at an arms distance in case he needed to bolt. “Sorry. Abby. Got it.”

Timothy grinned back at her, his smile was hollow though. His mind was still racing, and there was a hollow feeling in his chest. His stomach did flips as he thought about how long it might take him to get home.

“So, where is this ark?” Tim asked, immediately realizing how dumb that sounded. He didn’t even know where they were, how was he supposed to place any location she told him. “I mean, how far away?”

Looking ahead, Timothy studied their vehicles. Clearly heavy duty, probably very fast. While they looked strange compared to the cars he was used to, he was positive he’d be able to drive one. Jack did have him learn in Opportunity, his field training on Elpis hadn’t been up to Jack’s standards.

“What’s the plan?”

Was 2017 a lot or a little to him? What was it like on his...planet? Abby shook her head - nope, she still refused to believe this was more than a delusion to this poor man. I mean - yeah, her life was rather unbelievable with dinosaurs and time-rips and the like...but another planet? With aliens that looked so human-like? With a human name like Timothy? She doubted it, but knew Connor would get rather riled up with this man’s ramblings.

“How far away? About...25 minutes, but I suppose that all depends on how fast we drive.” The new vehicles were much better than the previous ones. Sleek, fast, and had great handling. After a few test runs around the ARC, Abby had been in love. 

Right. The plan. What was she supposed to say? They were to wait around for that specific anomaly to appear and hope it was the right one? They could attempt to open one, but that was still a rather extensive process. Had the anomaly just stayed open for a few minutes, they could’ve locked it. They could’ve allowed him to go back home and they wouldn’t be in this mess. “Well...I have to talk to the team leader first. We all come up with plans together...I suppose that isn’t so reassuring though, huh?”

[lizardgirlabby]

heathiins:

[ OPEN ] >> anyone

     it’s beyond a burn. he’s used to burning and the way the pain is sharp and surges through his body like a rampaging titan. that kind of pain is quick and can be killed with medication, and if not that, then alcohol is an easy, enjoyable alternative. but this is a searing, continuous pain. it’s like stitches that have been torn from the flesh. there are dull undertones that throb along his bones where tissue has been worn away with overuse and age, pulsing through the hypersting of – no, this is familiar. he knows this pain.

his hands have been pressed to the source of the waves, and it’s with the realization of familiarity that he pulls them away to see dark, thick pools. his head spins, eyes blurring as he stumbles, taking a few jagged, short steps before he tumbles and lands back on his ass.

dear fucking god why this again? hasn’t he been a good person - good at his job and good at getting the bad guys off the street? everything’s fuzzy and muted and he can’t focus on anything but the rush of blood from his head to the minute opening in his belly and – his back? has it gone through him? oh god – oh FUCKING GOD – he can’t breathe, glancing from fuzzed forms approaching him to the messy pool in his hands.

                                                      ❝ HELP – ❞

It happened so fast, as creature attacks often do. They had switched from the tazers to the guns, as even Abby declared this creature too dangerous (but could hopefully be saved in the end she prayed), and a stray bullet hit a civilian. As Becker and the soldiers chased the dinosaur, Abby and a couple of medical assistants rushed over to the side of the civilian calling for help.

Blood was no shock to her anymore - she only worried about saving everyone she could, but oh god, it looked pretty bad. Her eyes flickered over to the medical staff, seeing them pull on their gloves and cut his shirt off, grabbing cleaning supplies, gauze pads, and occlusive dressing. “We need to stop the bleeding before transporting him to the ARC for further monitoring of the wound and possible bullet removal.” The woman in charge told Abby. “Keep him calm, keep his breathing steady, keep him awake - can you do that?”

Abby nodded slowly before looking down at the man. He appeared to be older than her, but probably not by much “We’re going to do everything we can for you, I promise.” She told him. “Can you hear us?”

[aseaofquotes]

V.E. Schwab, A Conjuring of Light

[pandoratrash]

❝ it’s deep dish pizza. ❞

a hundred random starters

“Listen, I know what pizza is. This? Is not pizza. Look at it! The sauce is on top, and what’s the crust made out of?” Timothy had a grin on his face and was laughing. He really didn’t know what this pizza was, but it was delicious and the perfect opportunity to give Abby a hard time. “The menu says the crust is ‘corn bread’? What the hell is ‘corn bread’?”

[lizardgirlabby]

“This - this, Tim is the best pizza on this planet. You are never going to find anything better than THIS.” She had a hard time even convincing him to take a bite. All he wanted to do was complain about how weird it was. Well, what’d he know? He was WEIRD. It was the perfect pizza for him! “Corn bread, Timothy, is a very simple concept...bread...made with cornmeal.”

[pandoratrash]

Starter || Closed

[lizardgirlabby]

pandoratrash:

“You’d know what Hyperion was if you were from where I’m from,” Timothy felt the last bit of hope that this was some stupid prank disappear. “Which, by the way, where is this again?”

“Skags are pretty intense. If a badass skag or a corrosive skag comes through, your guys are in for a hard fight. I’ve got plenty of scars from fighting those things. Wait, if a badass skag comes through, don’t kill it. Rhys’ got a pet badass. She’s been with us a long time, I dunno if losing both me and her would be good for him,” Timothy’s heart ached. He wanted nothing more than to turn around and run right into that glowing ball of who knows what and hug his son.

“The ark? Doctor’s appointment? What, like a check-up? Oh, man. You guys do not want to do that. I’m still not entirely sure there aren’t bombs in my face, be careful,” rubbing at his neck in worry, Tim followed the woman. “Sorry, you said your name was Addy, right? Is there anyone else in charge? Is it just you?”

“I suppose I would.” She shrugged. “We’re on Earth, London England specifically in 2017.”

Skags. Whatever it was - they could totally take care of one. They took care of future predators and dinosaurs didn’t they? How bad could a Skag be? In her mind she imagined an immodest woman...that’s what it sounded like to her anyways. “We try not to kill anything that comes through, but lead it gently back home. You never know what will cause a butterfly effect. One dinosaur could be the reason you’re born, you know,” She joked. Was it really a joke, though? She remembers what Cutter said about Claudia and how future predators were vaguely related.

She didn’t want him to be uncomfortable no matter how strange he was. She slowed down and fell into his pace. “Is there anything I can do to make you feel better and show you that we don’t mean any harm? And um...actually, Abby. A - B - B - Y. There are others in charge, I’m just the best people person.” She flashed a big smile towards him.

[lifeinpoetry]

am I supposed to be grateful to have survived this?

Brenna Twohy, from “I Know It’s a Little Late,” Forgive Me My Salt (via lifeinpoetry)

[angstmemes]

First-Time Interaction starter sentences

[punchingdinosaurs-blog]

angstmemes:

“I realise you don’t know me, but please help me, I think I’m going to pass out.” “I’m sorry to interrupt, but I saw someone put something in your drink. You didn’t drink from it already, did you?” “I got robbed and have no way of getting home. They got my phone, so I can’t call anyone. Could I please borrow your phone?” “Shit! Sorry, I didn’t see you there… Are you okay?” “Charlie! Imagine seeing you here!– Oh. Wait, you aren’t Charlie…” “Excuse me, I was looking to get my girlfriend a bra, could you help me– You’re not the shop assistant, are you?” “Watch out for that truck!” “Is this your wallet?” “You look very different to your profile picture…” “Look out where you’re going, asshole!” “Did you see that?! He had a gun.” “Are you the girl/guy from So You Think You Can Dance?!” “Err– I’m sorry to interrupt, but I was just walking behind you and I think you must have sat in something…” “I know I don’t know you and this might sound really strange, but do you have a room or a spare settee or something I could crash on? I could pay you… I just… I really need someone to help me out right now.” “HELP ME!” “Oh my god, are you okay? I’m calling the police. I think I saw who did this to you.” “Are you alright? You look really pale.” “The whole street is blocked off. The police won’t tell us anything, but I think there’s been some kind of attack… Maybe a bomb?” ”Have you lost something? Can I help?” “Are you okay? Did someone hurt you?”.

[plantmister-blog]

sickfake:

i’m bored i’m gonna do something stupid and impulsive

[snikkts]

[lizardgirlabby]

Beauty and the Beast was perfect. No complaints.

Actually...one complaint...

if Alan Menken wrote the music, couldn’t he have added Human Again? That song is stupidly good. (also I like this Beast’s song more than If I Can’t Love Her)

[ohmyaranea]

Send in a ❣ for a random kiss.

a shy kiss. 

a forehead kiss.

a cheek kiss.

a nuzzle kiss.

a neck kiss.

a hand kiss. 

a hug + kiss combo. 

a dying kiss. 

a bleeding / bloody kiss. 

an assertive kiss. 

a nonchalant / uninterested kiss. 

a kiss to your muse’s shoes. 

a blown kiss. 

a sad / crying kiss. 

a quick kiss. 

a happy kiss.

a teasing / sensual kiss. 

a platonic kiss. 

a clumsy kiss

a kiss of your choosing! ( requested by the sender! )

[pandoratrash]

Starter || Closed

[lizardgirlabby]

pandoratrash:

Timothy was still hesitant. If he went with these people, there was no getting back to here. He didn’t know where ‘here’ was, so he’d sure as hell not be able to find his way back. He’d have to trust these people would help him, and then help him get back, “And you guys are sure you’re not Hyperion or something?”

He laughed the comment off like it was a joke, but he was serious. Even though Jack was dead, he was still valuable to Hyperion. Who knows what the hell they’d try.

“And I’d keep your guns trained on that portal thingy. If I came through, a skag or worse might come through too…” He walked behind the woman, looking around at everything he could. The symbols he’d noticed were nothing like he’d ever seen before, they weren’t any of the major gun companies. “Where are we going? What’s going to happen to me?”

“No. We are certainly not Hyperion...” She assured him, then hesitated. “What are Hyperions again?” As he laughed, she wondered if it was a mythology of his land or something. Maybe now she looked like an idiot. 

“Don’t worry. Soldiers are placed at that very spot well after it closes, just to make sure nothing else comes through and no one else goes in.” She turned her head and watched his face. Total confusion. No symbols triggered spontaneous memory of being in London or what year. No billboards or ads made him feel nostalgic or interested. He looked like an alien. “We’re going to a building. It’s called The ARC - it’s...very big, lots of new technology. Don’t be too overwhelmed...you’re not going to on a table and probed. We’re just going to do routine things like a doctor’s appointment and make sure you’re not experiencing any...amnesia.”

[kimmyungcanjunot]

GET TO KNOW ME MEME

10 favourite ships: connor temple and abby maitland

[lizardgirlabby]

I wanted to go into work, but my mom says no bc of the weather :(

i also can’t break down the icy wall at the end of the driveway :(

this is the dumbest spring break ever.