That's casual.

CrossFit and the occasional marathon. Living the dream one day at a time.

[lizdoeslife]

Took the day off to go to the pool

10/10 highly recommend

Life is hard these days so trying to find joy wherever I can.

[lizdoeslife]

Tried to sell my old bowflex on Facebook, looked like a nice old guy who wanted to buy it for his wife. Was super excited that it was going to get sold and then he tried to scam me with a fake email from Zelle to try to send him money.

People are the worst.

[lizdoeslife]

In a bit of a funk today. Trying to clean my way out of it but having trouble deciding what to organize and what to do so now I’m just laying in bed.

I’m torn between needing to feel productive in any way and not wanting to do anything. We’ll see which one wins.

[lizdoeslife]

I’m pulling the trigger and upgrading my bowflex bike to a peloton. The black Friday sale is really good and hoping that this will kickstart me back into good choices.

The bowflex has a loose pedal so I haven’t used it in months and I’ve tried to fix it but can’t figure it out. I’m selling it on marketplace and hopefully will make a little bit of money back so that the peloton isn’t so expensive.

I got promoted and a huge (more than 50%!) raise so that feels really good. Got some new responsibilities that are making me nervous, but a good kind of nervous so that feels exciting. My current job was getting pretty rote and boring so I’m excited to have more of a challenge. New responsibilities start Jan 1, but the raise comes right away so that’s really nice to have right before Christmas.

[lizdoeslife]

I meal prepped this week and felt really good about it, but day 3 of the same thing for lunch is getting old. Also it feels like a step in the right direction, but what, do I have to meal prep every Sunday for the rest of my life?

The amount of weight id like to lose is slowly creeping up. I need to get more serious about this but it’s just so boring losing weight. Like obviously if I cut out alcohol and desserts and only ate chicken and broccoli i would lose weight. I’ve also done the thing where I have successfully lost weight over a period of time and then gain it all back because I’m bored of counting macros. I wish I could just run a few miles every day and then I’d be at the weight I wanted. Really not trying to buy a new wardrobe though and I’m starting to outgrow this one 🥴

[lizdoeslife]

I signed up for a step bet a few weeks ago and it’s really taken all the fun out of working out. It set my goal based on when I was marathon training so it’s higher than I would like and since the race is over I haven’t really felt like running so I mostly just take walks to get the steps when instead I would love to bike or swim or anything else that won’t get me enough steps. Probably won’t sign up for another one but I’m committed to this one cause I’m not trying to lose $40 for a dumb reason.

I asked for a promotion and raise at work and the answer was “we want to keep you happy, let us figure out what exactly we can do and I promise I won’t leave you hanging for a long time”. Promising but I’m ready for that raise now! I’ve already found a million ways to spend this unknown amount of money. It’s fun to dream at least.

Things I want:

Upgrade my current bow flex bike that’s a little broken to a peloton. They’re selling refurbished ones for less than $1000, and it comes with the full warranty so that feels like a good value. I think I could get some money for the bow flex so could be not too much of a stretch.

Patio furniture. We have a bar in our backyard but no table to sit at so entertaining doesn’t always work out. Would love a counter height table with chairs, and some nice gliders.

I really need a new car. It’s a terrible time to buy a new car but it’s about to need a ton of work. With this raise I could swing it to put some more down and then replenish my savings so I wouldn’t have to finance as much.

Also would love to get my nails done regularly. It just feels like such a luxury.

[lizdoeslife]

This is our new best friend. His name is Tyler and he’s a crazy boy.

When we got him, the people fostering him mentioned that he is really cuddly and really high energy. They neglected to mention that he barks constantly, is aggressive while on a leash, and that it would be impossible to have friends over because he’s so protective over the house.

We love him so much and he’s super affectionate to us. We weren’t expecting to have to do so much work with him.

We took him to a trainer to get evaluated on Friday. For the first few minutes he was barking like crazy and looked like he might attack her. She showed us how to calm him down and then as soon as he was calm, he warmed right up to her and was very affectionate with her. She said she was nervous at first that she wasn’t going to be able to work with him, but sees that he is an anxious dog with highly protective instincts. She recommended private training before going to a group class, because the group would probably be too much for him right now.

We had our first training hour last night. It’s quite a bit more expensive than the group classes, but she gave us a lot of guidance and a lot of things to work on. Essentially we’re supposed to rewire his brain and let him know that we’ve got this under control so he doesn’t need to worry about other people. We’re hopeful that we will be able to get him to a place where we can go for nice walks and have people over without worrying about it. He’s got so much energy that we can’t not walk him but every walk is a battle and makes us nervous that he’ll pull away and actually get someone. We love him so much and want other people to see what a good boy he is!!

[lizdoeslife]

It’s been 433 days since my last post so I guess now is as good a time as any to check in! I look at this app couple times a day so I’m up to date on your lives.

Got married in August! We feel very lucky to have had a wedding during a time where covid cases were down, everyone who wanted a vaccine had access to one, and people were comfortable being in groups. We had the best time celebrating.

We went to Cabo for our honeymoon. After I was laid off, I worked part time for a man as his assistant. After a few months, he offered me a raise or a week in Cabo - I took the trip! We had an amazing time, and again the timing was so good - we probably wouldn’t leave the country right now. We stayed at a beautiful resort and drank way too many margaritas but it was fantastic.

I have a job that I love and am good at- I’ve only been here for 2 months but I feel so good about it. After the last 2 years of waiting tables and just not feeling very good professionally, I’m finally back into my career and feeling so productive. It’s a night and day change for me. And, I’m on a normal schedule so instead of seeing my husband for five minutes before we go to bed, I can see him every night!

That’s as good as an update as I can give right now. Hoping to be more active in this space in 2022!

[lizdoeslife]

Something good out of this garbage year

[lizdoeslife]

I didn't get the job I interviewed for - they found someone with actual sales experience so it’s not that surprising, but still disappointing.

I’m feeling like i’m slacking and that I should be doing better by now.  A former coworker who also got laid off said she got two job offers, accepted one and is also starting her own company on the side.  I am very happy for her, but got stuck feeling like I should be doing that too.  What even company would I start? I don’t even have an idea... which makes me feel like I’m not creative enough.

It’s a stupid dumb cycle and I need to keep reminding myself that I’m doing the best I can, i have a job and even though I don’t want to wait tables for the rest of my life (or even the rest of the year) it’s income and it’s good.

Although last week I had a table where the bill came out to $217 - they tipped me $17.  That’s not even 10%.   That wasn’t acceptable pre-pandemic and it definitely isn’t acceptable now.  I still made good money that night but that was incredibly frustrating for me.  Tip your servers, please and thank you.

I feel like I’m just in this transitional phase and am just waiting, waiting, waiting. My boyfriend wants to buy a house but doesn’t want to start seriously looking until January.  I told him that I wouldn’t buy a house with him unless we were engaged and that he could buy a house without me but if he ever expected me to live there I would want to have some input.  I’m waiting for us to get past covid.  I’m waiting for the election that hopefully changes things but who tf knows anymore.  I’m waiting for companies that I’ve applied at to call me.  Just waiting for things. 

i have hope that we’ll get through this and everything will be better on the other side..... just waiting to get to the other side. 

[lizdoeslife]

I have a phone interview today for a job that I’m probably not qualified for but I have prepped and at the very least it will give me some practice for future interviews.  This is the only job that I’ve applied for that I’ve heard anything from.... so at least there is some progress on that front.

Meanwhile I’m still waiting tables.... the entitlement of some people is just astounding to me.  We are in the middle of a pandemic.  I have to wear a mask for 8 hours a day to run around and serve you.  I have to change gloves after every interaction with a table (and getting gloves on sweaty hands or hands that  have just been washed is not an easy task).  I can no longer serve my section in an efficient way - if I have picked up dishes from one table, I can't stop by another table to check in or get their order - the dishes have to go to the back first.  We don’t keep plates, silverware or glasses on tables anymore, so when I get double/triple sat, it takes me that much longer to get to each new table.  We are at 25% capacity, so the tables need to keep turning so that I can actually make some money - yet people still close their checks out and camp at their tables on a friday night.  and after all that, a lot of people are tipping 10-15%. 

i am doing my best to serve each table in an efficient and friendly matter and to make it seem like we’re not in the middle of a pandemic. i know that when people go out to eat, especially now, they are looking for normalcy and trying to forget all the terrible things that are going on.  i do my best to make it that way for tables. but i wish they would recognize what’s going on here and recognize how much harder it is for me to provide good service - and tip appropriately for the good service that they are receiving. i’m also putting myself, my roommate and my boyfriend at risk to serve these people $25 pastas.  20% should be the absolute minimum tip right now. 

i’m grateful for a job since i know many of my laid off coworkers aren’t having any luck, and i’m not having much luck finding a job in my field.  but the service industry doesn’t always make me feel great about my fellow humans. 

[lizdoeslife]

I’ve been thinking about getting a peloton for a while now.  my brother has one and added me as a family member so i can try some of the workouts and see if i like it before i drop that kind of money.

the y has spin bikes that i’ve been using - they're secluded and no one is there really so it feels as safe as it’s going to get. 

the first workout i tried, i attempted a 30 min ride and quickly realized that there was no way i was going to finish that.  i moved to a 15 minute ride and that was super hard but in a really good way - and it was over pretty quickly.  i couldn’t believe how much i sweated in just a short amount of time.

this morning i did a 20 minute one - again, super hard but i really, really liked it.  it’s a different kind of exercise and kind of amazing how productive of a workout it felt like in such a short amount of time.  and, since i’m walking so much at work now, this is a much better workout for me because otherwise my body hurts too much to run or do something like that. 

i’m going to give it a month of doing fairly consistent workouts to see if it’s something that i’d actually stick with or if i just like it right now because it’s new.  if i bought that, i could cancel my gym membership and with the financing, it’d be about the same price.  as we get into winter/flu season/etc., it’s important to me to keep exercising while removing the excuses i have.  i’m not sure if i’ll feel comfortable going to the gym once it gets colder if we still don’t have a handle on this covid situation. 

[lizdoeslife]

I was laid off from my job a few weeks ago.  I saw it coming - I had been furloughed, and I’m an event planner - not a lot of events to plan during a pandemic.

Still sucks. 

I’m working full-time at the restaurant, which is not what I want to be doing but it’s better money than unemployment since the senate doesn’t care to do their jobs.  It’s risky but I’m grateful to have it and I’m grateful that they’re giving me 40 hours and I’m grateful that I can do something with my days instead of sitting at home feeling sorry for myself.

I’m worried about health insurance and I’m worried about being able to find something new.  But I still have my health and I have savings and I’ve just got to take this a step at a time.

[lizdoeslife]

I bought a bed frame to match the dresser that I bought a few months ago and now i finally have two pieces of matching furniture.  i also haven’t had a bed frame since i lived with my mother pre-college - i’ve had the metal frame that holds it up so at least it’s not on the floor, but now i have a real legit bed frame with a headboard and a foot board and it matches the dresser and i feel like i’m making progress in my life. 

the bed frame came on friday and it’s obviously bigger than what the metal frame was so i’ve been spending the weekend moving furniture around in my bedroom and getting rid of some things and making some decisions about other furniture so it feels like a step forward.  everything has been so cluttered for a while so i’m purging and getting rid of papers and things that i’ve held onto “just in case” - i have all these hair products that are halfway used but i haven’t used in a long time and clearly am not going to, all these headbands that i haven't worn since freshman year of college, etc.  

i read an article the other day that says if your home is a mess, your brain is more likely to be a mess.  apparently it’s easier to sleep in a clean room.  i don’t know if i necessarily buy that but i do think that all this clutter stresses me out a little bit - since it’s one of those things that i “should” be taking care of, but am not.  so here i am, making a little bit of progress. 

[lizdoeslife]

tonight i was sad for a while so instead of dwelling on it i decided to go for a run

it was a beautiful night out and so good to just be outside 

i listened to some old school kelly clarkson which fired me up so that was all good

the boy from last time is no more... i think? 

we were texting and he said “sorry, haven't really been in the mood to hang out” - that was a few weeks ago

last week i just texted him randomly saying “hey was just thinking about you and thought i’d say hi - hope you’re doing well” he said “hey - thanks for the text - sorry, i’m just doing my own thing right now”

...

is he dating someone else? in a depressive state? just over me in general? i guess it ultimately does not matter. he's doing his own thing and that does not include me.

i do get the pleasure of hearing him on the radio though. not typically a station i listen to, but every now and then i switch over and there he is. 

[lizdoeslife]

i’m sitting around waiting for a boy to call (he’s not going to call) so what better time to update all of you on my life?! 

i lurk multiple times a day but haven’t felt the call to write something in a long time... not really even sure how many of you are still here but here we are.

i feel like i’m eternally at a crossroads.  i get my life together in one area and it falls apart in another.  i’m finally getting my weight loss shit together - have lost five pounds in the last two weeks, have been making a really solid effort to exercise and eat healthily and do things that i don't want to do.  i built some really solid friendships but these two girls are both leaving on tuesday and have no plans to return to my area. one’s leaving the country for a year minimum, and the other is going several states away.  i’m super excited for their next steps but finding myself feeling a little left behind and a little stagnant.

re: the above boy - he’s causing me a lot of stress for something that is supposed to be fun.  everything needs to be on his schedule and whatever he feels like doing... which is not exactly what i am looking for.  but when it works, it’s lots of fun and easy and he lives close to me and it works.  i know i need to stop with this nonsense if i ever want to find something real but i can’t seem to break this pattern. 

i’m starting to feel that i’m in a place where i will never meet someone that i want to spend the rest of my life with.  i’m terrified of being the only single person in my extended family - which is slowly becoming a reality.  i’m also just worried i might not find anyone who will want to share a life with me.  

i also worry i’m putting too much emphasis on this and not enough emphasis on like friendships and for and all that jazz.  i’m thinking about making a big change and moving to chicago.  still midwest but way more transplants than my current small town that masquerades as a big city.  and less focus on getting married at 22 and having as many children as possible before 30.  not that that’s wrong, but at 27, I'm way past that and it’s hard not to feel like i’m doing it wrong.  and, if i stay here, my dating pool is going to turn into men who are divorced with a few kids.  not an ideal situation for me. 

i’m not going to text him first. i texted him first the last time and he said he would see me tonight.  still waiting. 

[lizdoeslife]

I’m on my grad school game these days.  During undergrad, i regularly waited until the last minute to write papers.  I remember one time, I had 10 pages for one of my english classes due at 9am on a Thursday.  Wednesday night was penny pitchers at our local bar.... so I remember working on the paper for a few hours, then getting all kinds of enjoyment out of the penny pitchers, then trying to finish my paper from 1am-9am, heavily intoxicated.  

ended up getting a 93 on that paper.  so my procrastination tendencies have never really had consequences.  the papers might not have been what i had hoped they would be, but they always got good feedback from professors. 

i have 20 pages due on sunday evening for my HR management class.  it’s just a draft so that gives me a little more permission to not do an amazing job on it, since i’ll get feedback on it and he will likely want to see improvement from the first draft to the final.  it’s crazy - in college i literally never wrote more than one draft of something (never had time... with all the procrastination).

anyways, all this is to say that i have four of the 20 pages written already and have looked at my calendar to set aside more time tomorrow to get to 10 pages and might even have enough time this weekend to go through the draft and fix a few things before it’s submitted. 

i’m thinking it’s possible that the anxiety meds are working and giving me more energy and helping me to feel less paralyzed when there’s things i need to get done.  i don’t hate it - already feeling calmer knowing that i won’t have to rush to get this done on Sunday because i’ve already gotten a good start.  is this what the rest of the world feels like?! it used to be that i would be stressed looking towards the night before something was due - i didn’t feel like doing the work, but felt guilty knowing i wasn’t doing the work, and spent a lot of time thinking about how i should be doing it but wasn’t.  then it would get to be the night before it was due and i would be in a panic knowing how much i had to do, that it would then take me hours to get settled and starting on the project and then all of a sudden it turned into an all-nighter.  

i gotta say i’m feeling pretty good about this new way of doing things.