( ˇ෴ˇ ) i am always annoyed

speaks for itself 🤷🏻‍♀️

[lizzieblabbers]

you know what

hahahaha at this point, i don't really know! wasn't able to follow thru what i have said in the previous posts, so i am holding myself accountable.

butttt in my defense, i DID say idk when im gonna find the brains to write here again....

ok this is me coming back. tomorrow i plan to bond with my (personal) laptop and just do my thingz

i hope i do it /sighs

[lizzieblabbers]

howdy its me again

i just finished reading my 2024 wrapped and oh my god/?? i wrote that???

BWAHAHAH anyway i guess 2025 deserves its own post, considering major changes in my life happened last year anyway. (when i say major, i mean like MAJOR)

okkk maybe ill be able to pull this off before the week ends, or idk.

but i definitely want to start fresh this april so ill be busy tying loose ends and prepare for q2

wow its q2 already time flies so fast

ok goodnight !

[lizzieblabbers]

hi, it's lizzie from 2026 :>

something tells me that this is gonna be my comeback to writing here in tumblr,,, considering what we have experienced so far with 2026, i think i would have more to say now than i did in the previous years...

of course im gonna remove the self imposed rules and expectations i have set for myself,, which may be the culprit as to why i dont have the energy to write here...

like this post, all of the following entries would be entirely word vomit, no grammar checks whatsoever so if you happen to be irritated by reading these then you're not exactly the audience here (as if there's any???"

also guys just to give you a quick update: i am now done with school (for now,,, i guess?) and is five months in my big girl job ! hooray she didnt actually give up mid college.

anyway, expect my content (WOW) to be more centric to what i am currently experiencing in my day to day life so this may be a sponty typa shit we never know when im gonna gain the brains again for this anyway

i am just so happy to be able to type this using my now functional laptop (thank god i saw that thread). so hoorayyy and i hope to post more in the next few days.

goodnight !

[lizzieblabbers]

WADDUP

[lizzieblabbers]

how my year ended

previously on the life of lizzie

so the universe seems to be unsatisfied by my hardships for the past month it decided to throw some more additional surprises for me !!!

its now february. actually, halfway through the month, to be specific. i got the sudden urge to just... write so here i am.

a lot has happened since i last posted (can't even remember when, but i am almost certain i lived a full life in between then and now)

im trying to go back to writing, so be it my most random thoughts in moments when i want to share it to someone but felt like it would be too burdensome for them.

i thought february would let me breathe, but i guess it had other plans for me.

to summarize 2024 is to write a short story about the darkest (by far, pls i can't bear more) part of my life since i became aware of life itself. and i am not exaggerating, because even though i had some of the best moments of my life this year, it still can't hide the fact that 2024 is, well, shitty most of the time.

i don't know if it has anything to do with the year itself or it is because i am getting older and my ability of finding happiness in the littlest things in life has been impaired. but one thing's for sure, it sure has felt like hell.

january was because of thesis. it was rewarding when it was done, but boy, the process was tedious. and i'm not even kidding. it was draining to the point where the mere mention of the topic was enough to make me anxious.

but wait, there's more!

in february, there's thesis again! this time, we have to finish the data gathering part, which, for me, is harder than finding supporting literature. it invovles people (my weakest link by the way) which consumed my whole being. nevertheless, i persevered (oh the queen i am) ikr

march was mellow-ish. another semester, another enrollment anxiety attack. but then again, i was proven that it was just in my head. in fact, it was easier than the past months because i am now adjusted and i felt like i can do everything now. also had a lot of friend-meets which helped me survive (fr, i love u guys <3)

april started good, because data gathering was done and i spent the second half of the month in the province. the memo on the synchronous sessions were a great help for my mental heath, because i got to rest (not really, but it was kind of a rest, breathe of fresh air) while still tending to my responsibilities as a student.

stayed there til the first half of may. but eventually, i needed to come back because we had to start writing the manuscript in preparation for our defense in june. this month revolved around thesis stuff again, which needed my newly-replenished supply of energy. but regardless, it ended productively so i guess it's a win-win for me.

june was the last month of the school year. it passed by like a blur, maybe because i was so busy with thesis and other school stuff that i failed to do other things. but hooray, thesis defended !

but... i wouldn't have survived june if not for my high anticipation for july. after two years, my father came home. when we fetched him at the airport, i suddenly felt like the child i was when he left. i felt giddy, felt like finally, i can turn off my brain because there's someone here to do the thinking for me. despite the fact that my father and i dont always see eye to eye, the little girl in me still feels like this whenever i try to tiptoe and wait for him in the arrival area.

july deserves two paragraphs, because believe me when i say that it was the busiest month of the year. it was, for the lack of better term, eventful. the first half was the four of us only. then when we went home to the province, it was with immediate family (it was also when i found out that i had tons of relatives in the province that i didn't know were my relatives until then). we went our almost everyday (very tiring for a homebody like me) T_T as if it wasn't consuming my entire being, unfortunately for me, i also had to attend classes during vacation because i had a summer semester in my current curriculum (sucks :P). now you get why i call it the busiest month of all?

and surprise,,, july bled into august. summer classes continued with the (daily) family activities. before i knew it, a month had passed since my dad arrived and now he has to go back. i may or may have not shed a tear or two, but you dont need to know that, do you? anywayyy, the next few days were spent catching up with missed school works and the last week was spent with friends, which made august worthwhile.

then finally, it was september. christmas season in my country starts early, so as the silly christmas preparations. but along these are my first phase of on the job (ojt) shenanigans. the whole month basically revolved around my life as a student trainee in one of the major national banks, where i experienced an 8-5 typa thing. honestly, it is also when i met people that made my experience bearable. i had fun while working and having a slice of my adult life should i choose a career in banking.

come october, still ojt days. i have already finished a 100 hours in september, then finished a hundred more. nothing much happened, just the average working days.

still the same for november. except, i've grown attached to the routine already. the end of my required schedule was near, yet i was nowhere near ready to be done with it. honestly, hours with these group of people made me reflect on myself more, and what i really want in life. septembet, october, and november were the calm times in 2024.

and what do they say about the calm before the storm?

YUP. december was not it.

it started great, but then again, problems found its way into what was supposed to be a happy year-end. i won't delve deeper into the specifics, but it would be an understatement to say it was messy. there was a lot happening at once, and i can't even put into words the severity of it. the only silver lining in this month was the parties i have attended, which definitely made it lighter, helping me forget about my problems for a while.

ok so wrapping this up before i sleep (or else i'll be forgetting about posting it in the morning)

and with that, the 2024 season comes to an end.

good night 💤

[lizzieblabbers]

hello

i may look like i dont care but inside i am really freaking out my routine is bound to be ruined (hell its not even established yet) and i have to make adjustments and actual plans for my life in the remaining weeks of the month...

not just waking up and continously trying to work out, but actually do big girl decisions that (i know im just being oa but this is me okay) will actually affect my life in the upcoming days

im about to be thrown again into the thing i like to call 'independent girlie moments' and i know my minds gonna be in adjusting phase again (NOT EVEN ADJUSTED TO MY cuRRENT SITUATION R U KIDDING ME)

this post is just a rant, no flow whatsoever, just me blurting out every single thing in my mind to be able to start an activity that has been long overdue

maybe it also doesnt help that shark week is almost there and my hormones are everywhere (as it is always naman, but i think it is different this time) and

ang dami ko na naman sinabi, ill end this here

BYE SEE U AGAIN

[lizzieblabbers]

something is wrong with me

i know there's a ninety percent chance that this is just pcos messing up with my hormones, or a ten percent chance that people are really testing me

its been days and ever since i feel resentful of every little thing that does not go my way. i am so frustrated with everything i might explode

it doesn't help that my acne is getting fucking worse lately (which may have been caused by the stress induced by reasons unknown to me) and its physically hurting me, making me more irritable

honestly i am just so tired of living (as me) in this shithole

i mean yeah there's a bright side but im starting to doubt if that was mean to balance out the bad ones or just to make the latter more powerful and felt??

SEE THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME

there are unnecessary things running through my head rn and it has already caused me to be two days behind my schedule (FUCK IT REALLY)

i had coffee today so maybe its the reason why i had the guts to write and publish this tonight and not let it rot in my drafts for days

...maybe coffee's the answer to my writer's block?

BUT THATS NOT THE ISSUE

either way i know i have to fix my sleeping schedule (which has been shit for the past few days, by the way) to be productive again and actually feel like a living human being and not just merely existing

ok thats it im gonna sleep its already 11:48 bye

[lizzieblabbers]

gray november i've been down since july

yeah, no shit.

EDIT 290324 : HELLO TUMBLR i wasn't supposed to post this rn (can't even remember what i have written here?? see the goldfish memory xD) but i respect my effort of writing this so here yaa gO

--

today's already the 26th of january, and i'm sitting in front of my computer, contemplating on what to say after all these months

tbh, i've planned to just merge this one with the december entry to have some sort of a 'year-ender' summary of my life lately, but i'm afraid this post that has been sitting in the drafts folder for too long for it not to be a separate one so i said fuck it and do this (plus i really like the title so yay)

OKAY

so as far as i can remember, november was such a busy month and ended in a way i didn't expect. not gonna delve deeper into the details, but it was really unexpected and definitely caused a shift in my beliefs in life and love

ANYYYYWAAYYYY

november was the start of my thesis month and since then it has been stressful. the weekly workloads were crazy, and i barely had the energy and the mental capacity to do anything. yet i did it, because i was afraid to fail.

the fear to look like a loser was what drove me to accomplish the things i did

--

THAT'S ALL I'VE GOT FOR YOU FOLKS

ill come back stronger than a 90s trend, i promise *wink* *wink*

[lizzieblabbers]

im sorry i neglected this blog

not gonna lie, life has been pretty messy lately. a lot is happening all at once, and i am sad to inform you that my little brain can't just keep up.

i am sooooooo busy with school (uni is uni-ying), personal life is going upwards then downwards then upwards again it's like im in a fucking roller coaster each day i wake, my mind is undergoing some sort of midlife crisis i dont even know i had... you get the picture

these may be some of the reasons why i havent written anything for the past few months, but to address the elephant in the room--yes, i have lost my 'passion' for writing. i have completely lost the magic.

it's hard to admit, but i am not producing any creative juice lately. at least to my liking.

wow, it feels so different to actually acknowledge it. the fuck HAHA

anyway i know ill eventually find my way back again, but i am sure as heck (i cant curse its good friday) it would not be right now.

i promised myself to get back to writing drabbles every sunday, but it seems like the universe is testing every fiber of my being so the first quarter of the year is already close to being done and my wips aren't getting anywhere...

ok so today honestly i woke up with a headache, stayed longer in bed than intended, and did not show up for my daily morning walks so i guess i should have known im gonna have a bad day (which, ironically, gave way to the writing and actual posting of this entry??)

i should sleep early today and end the week productively because i honestly have a lot to do and on top of that, i have a class on monday!!?

okay enough for this rant post, i just want to know the internet people that im still alive nd kicking (at least, im trying to)

BYERZ EXPECT TO HEAR MORE FROM ME IN THE SUCCEEDING DAYS (hopefully)

[lizzieblabbers]

octobery bery long ????

so remember the vacation entry i promised to post?? well... in my defense, tho, life came in the way and i had to prioritize urgent big girl stuff so i really had no time to sit down in front of my laptop and recall all my province memories

but it's sitting sa drafts na, will not set a date anymore, it'll just... be up

so anyway

october was so long wtf hHASDHADHA

tODAY'S THE TENTH AND I FINALLY FOUND THE WORDS EHEHEHEH (see cleaning is the key)

so, october, to put it simply, is challenging yet rewarding. (big words from a big girl lyke me 8D *winks*

as i've mentioned in my previous post, i hadn't really had much time to kool down from the province high because i needed to be the adult that i am as soon as i arrived. it did not help that the professors had already started discussions and of course with those are activities with deadlines that were sooner than i had expected.

now, i really meant it when i said that october was sooooooo looong. or was it because i had too much on my plate that i barely had the time to rest and let time pass by? either way, it was the longest month i had this year because a lot was going on.

first week of october, i had to go somewhere, ALONE, without any idea of what am i gonna do there.

OKAY I HAVE TO STOP HERE its ten pm and i am fucking sleepy (yeah it be like that sometimes) im gonna continue this tomorrow

hi today's the day after tomorrow and wtf am i doing with my life

i have decided not to pursue the vacation post because i felt like i have already said enough about it in my previous entries (albeit trying to tone it down for, well, the said separate entry) and i think it would just be redundant??? idk, im messed up like that

ANYWAY OCTOBER

so much has happened this past month that i can't really keep track of everything. october taught me a lot of lessons which i guess i can generally apply to all aspects of my life.

for one, it taught me that life isn't and will never be black and white. there are tons of gray areas existing that we should maybe look at and examine its relevance and how it affects each of us. not saying we should always justify everything, but you know... it wouldn't hurt to have another approach to life

anyhoo why am i getting all wisdom-y word-y here, im not that smart

my october mainly revolved on school and adulting responsibilities, alongside some realizations. as for school, it took me a while to adjust to the new academic year because there has been a lot of necessary changes for a less-stressful semester but all in all i'm fine now and already on the process of hooking myself back up to how i was before the vacay.

as for adulting responsibilities, well... october 2023 is when i first received a salary for doing something!!! yay :D immediately put it in a savings account and stopped myself from buying unnecessary stuff because i really want to practice this until i already have a job (FUCK THIS ADULT THING IS GETTING REALER ANY MINUTE) and as much as possible, save save save because i know im gonna need a lot if i want to sleep peacefully at night

guess that's the highlight of my month? won't dwell too much on the negative shits because (1) i can't really remember them aotm, and (2) i don't want to remember them anymore

in case of a relapse, however, i would definitely head straight here and let out everything i think about

THAT'S IT FOR OCTOBER, THANK YEW

bubhyYEE

[lizzieblabbers]

wake me up when september ends . . .

this late is post this post is late (so sabaw) because someone forgot to wake me up,,,

KIDDING

hallo, people of the tumblrland ;)

remember when i said in the previous post that i was in the province again? yes, ya girl came back <3

i always say to my friends (or whoever may be there to listen to my nonstop blabbering) that i feel like im a plant--na it is hard for me to adjust once i've developed my roots somewhere. i can't really explain it right now but you get the point (hopefully). and this one's particularly a huge thing because it's my first time travelling without any adult (as if im not an adult myself) supervision :D

the ride there was fun and exciting, i was relaxed the whole time and the travel time was shorter than i've expected, so i was estastic when we arrived hehe

i stayed there for twenty-one days, and i really cant put into words how relaxed i was there. well, there were some instances when the world has required too much of me. but i would very much like not to focus on those because it would just obscure how happy i was with this vacation.

looking back now, i think that in a way, it has changed something within me. i don't know, but know i feel less dependent towards other people (especially my parents; everyone knows im a big babie) and i think it's an achievement because hello??? i think i was still stuck to the seventeen year old me who's supposed to be enjoying her last year free of real-world responsibilities. the pandemic robbed me three years of my life that was intended for me to explore and slowly make my way towards adulthood.

so, yeah. that's a little realization from me.

im not really by myself there, my aunt (whom i call mommy because she's literally one of the mother-like figures i have in my life) is there and her family, i also have the father's side of relatives. i have a lot of people there taking care of me. but there's this certain feeling of independence--that i need to look after myself because no one will do it for me.

i don't know if any of these would make sense because while i am writing this, my lids are slowly becoming droopy, like it was begging for a 15-minute nap.

anyway, i won't really dwell much on my province journey because i promise (PROMISE) will write a separate post, maybe within the week? but i will

the ride back was the most heart-wrenching for me. i was crying for the first thirty minutes (or more, idk anymore) of the ride because i was so sad that i had to leave the little life i had there for twenty-one days. some may say im overreacting, but its twenty-one days!!! i have learned in high school from my mapeh teacher (hi mam cess) that it takes a person twenty-one days to be accustomed to a habit to the point that beyond that, they would already do it unconsciously.

imagine my horror when i was only given a day of rest after a fourteen-hour bus ride before i was forced to be an adult and do errands for the rest of the week?????? like???

anyway though, i pushed through, and now its the fifth day of october and school has started :( vacation is over, but the longing is still here

i guess this is longer than i have expected,,, maybe because i have missed writing in freestyle form :D and also because i think i have a lot to say at the moment as i am avoiding a certain academic task that requires me to think

all in all, september was a happy one. its a huge thing for me to call it happy because ive never felt that happy the whole month. i feel like the universe really gave me my well-deserved break from the world and let me realize things on my own.

i think that's all? i'll blabber more on my vacation post which, hopefully, would be really up this week hehe

babye, world! i'm going back to hiding :D

[lizzieblabbers]

salt air . . .

hello lovely people!!

lizzie here is back with another monthly report of how august literally slipped away into a moment of time,,,

so today is september sixth, and im in the province again :D

HAHSHDADHJKADHKJA my family has decided that it was high time that i learn how to travel on my own (well, papunta is not really on my own kasi i am with someone but) and exist in a place without my mother and my sister for weeks

anyway, enough of that because it's for next month's report

this year's august was by far the most... how do i put this.. calm? serene? peaceful? august i had since the pandemic

i don't know why, maybe because it's really the place?

this year's august was a good one because i spent it with the people who really mattered in my life. i enjoyed my time meeting relatives (the non toxic ones, those who don't really drain my social battery) and my friends whom i missed so much because of damn uni

also,,, hHHAHSHDAHDHASH i am cringing as i type this but i had developed a little crush on someone (which, as days passed by, was reduced to only hiya iDK WHY THAT HAPPENED HAHSHASHA) and i won't go much into details as to how this happened because it makes me jumpy (and i might summon his presence because he's around huHUHU)

anyway enough of that HAHDHADHAH

i think it's safe to say that august is my healing month :D in all aspects, it was when i was able to rest.

the past few months had been so stressful for me that i hadn't noticed the simple things that can make me happy. i was so focused on things which turned out to be irrelevant in the bigger picture that i forgot to celebrate small wins.

and august has taught me that each passing time should be cherished and not to be taken for granted because all of it will soon be memories that we can only look back on (wrong grammar yata pero whatever)

ayun lang i think? HHASHDAH its currently 11:30 pm and i am kinda antok na so i guess i'll end it here ahsjdhasjdha

thank you, august.

it was definitely mine. :D

[lizzieblabbers]

chooly, oh, the month that you are

AH I MISSED WRITING KSKKSSK

so anyway today's the second day of the salt air szn and i'm trying to recall everything that i have done for the past month.

okay i guess i'll continue this tomorrow as i browse my phone gallery to recall everything ksksks

OKAY DAYS LATER

its august seven, and im just starting to browse my july eheheh

so july kinda merged with my august, especially since i'm on vacation so its kinda blurry

but the busyness of june continued until july 26th, also the first day of my (self-proclaimed) vacation :D

okay so as i've mentioned, july was a busy one too.

spent the day finishing tasks and overthinking about certain stuff (also academics fml) but hey i pulled through

july was also the month of sntv, so i was able to listen to my fave childhood songs again, but with different feels. it was surreal and i've listened to the album and sang our hearts out!! it was a great experience <333 aside from this, we also talked about the things we can't talk over messenger so it was a day well spent (with my social battery still intact ;))

then i spent the following days eating and eating and stressing about the remaining requirements that i should accomplish to feel the academic validation i crave hehe

then i also had my last week of face-to-face classes and it was draaaaaaining because of final exams, presentations, and whatnots. i can't express the stress i've felt but let me just say that it was EXHAUSTING (but my friends made it bearable).

then fast forward to july 25, kung kailan ako nagtakas from my responsibilities in school ehehehe. i took my final exam in one subject sa bus (yes, with the help of my beloved people) and then tada, vacation mode on :D

vacation me is somewhat of a ghost,, like i just float here and there with absolutely zero self-awareness because i have my family to guide me where to go

WHERE WAS I

im sorry, i was briefly interrupted by yet another spontaneous family layas kaskdkfsjdfskjdf

OKAY I THINK ILL CONTINUE MY CHIKKA ABOUT MY VACATION IN A SEPARATE POST (?) (pROMISES, promises *roll eyes*) because that's basically it??

thank you for your service, july! hadn't expected you to be this generous to me ;)

[lizzieblabbers]

i am very lazy

hey guys it's already august, and i haven't had the time to write the june summary because i am friggin tired of school works that i suddenly felt like im out of words??? you get me? it's like the requirements (ESSAYS, FUCKING ESSAYS) i've written these past few months just sucked the fun out of words and i just cant seem to bring myself to write a single thing here,,,

anyway ill try to write a short summary here:

june, as far as i can remember, is eventful

the face to face classes have started and i was still adjusting because it has been years since i last experienced going to school

yeah, sure, it may be the same school. but . . . i cant explain why it still feels different to me.

anyway, june is a busy month because our professors were finally complete and they thought that it'd be good to give us requirements all at once :D

june is also when one of my comfort fics (bem) is born out of a brainrot (aka my failed dream to be a doctor) HAHSHSHSA so i kinda have mixed feelings about this month

ANYWAY I GUESS that's all i could remember, my memory's hazy especially when it involves school so that's just it

see you in a few days for the july check in because i'm sure it's gonna be hELLA LONG ksksks

OKAY BYE

[lizzieblabbers]

HULLO

this is just short i just wrote in on my phone and hit publish after but the blue bird app has put a temporary limit on my media consumption liKE HOW DARE THEY DECIDE FOR ME anyways so i think im gonna camp here for a few days because for the love of me i can’t shut my damn mouth

anyway i was supposed to upload my monthly evaluation but i rested so ya know #selfcare HAHAHDKDHKSJS

i think it’ll be up tomorrow (HOPEFULLY) and i really wish we won’t have any class tomorrow so that i can fix my life as, again, i chose myself today

i guess that’s it i just went here and typed everything my brain tells me to do so while listening to better man hay i’m weird

ps: oh anyway i think i started this one in july last year??? so congratulations, i guess??

[lizzieblabbers]

may the odds continue to be in my favor

whaddup, everyone! it's ya girl lizzie, super early on her monthly update!!! yes, today's june the first, and i am already writing this one. (also i plan to finish this today i hope my brain does not sabotage me)

may is very exhausting.

i had to be the adult the society (esp my family) expects me to be, and i am outside way too much for my liking which definitely messed up my brain composition

in a nutshell, may is a month for adulting. i did a lot of big girl stuff this month i am proud as hell of myself

the first two weeks of may were kinda laylow, like my responsibilities became clearer the moment the month shifted from may to april. there were celebrations and responsibilities were forgotten temporarily for the festivities. i spent the days writing, reading, and obsessing about fictional characters. (s/o to king george, you're still in my heart as of this writing)

the surge of endorphins and dopamine made it possible for me to produce several writings (albeit short) and recover from my three-month-phase of self-loathing, which typically occurs during january to march of each year. i tried to understand myself more, really use my brain to produce productive thoughts and not let myself down.

well, it worked. at least for the first two weeks.

the last to weeks of this month were tedious. deadlines were lined up and it did not help that our first face to face week was announced a week before, which only leaves my whole being not enough time to prepare for the said meetings.

it has been days since i last wrote and read, and it sucks.

i feel different. i don't...glow? i don't know how to explain it, but i was empty again. at this point, i'm already starting to believe that my happiness literally comes from words placed beside each other to support one delusion of mine.

anyway, i am now trying to focus on my school responsibilities one at a time, and i am not losing hope that one day, i hope sooner, i will be back to my element because it honestly sucks to do everything, bare minimum.

the world may not deserve me, but i deserve to give myself and my existence justice.

that's all, i guess. i am sleepy so i'll let myself nap first before i begin on my task for today.

BABYE AND I PROMISE TO DROP BY SOMETIMES :D

[lizzieblabbers]

april has been a month of recuperation

hello, it's ya girl again, back with another yet again, late update on her month

today's already the eleventh, and i have only found the courage to write here despite having a very, dare i say messy, brain with a lot of thoughts swarming, trying to fit into my little brain

as i have mentioned in my previous mandatory monthly updated, i have been sick for a month (everything that can go wrong went wrong) so i spent this whole month trying to catch up with life and cheering myself up

albeit slowly, i somehow managed to go back to my footing (not entirely, sure, but well, its the thought that counts) and start appreciating life again

april is when i rediscovered my likes, my hobbies (i wrote again, it's a big thing), and started to feel better about myself again

minor inconveniences were inevitable, of course, but i can pretty much say this month was much better than the last--i was healthier, i was slightly happier, and my mind was cleared a little bit

i have posted several updates, i think, for the past weeks of april, but i did not really divulge into detail as i was expecting myself to remember them all for this major summary. however, though, my pea-sized brain cannot be trusted, so here i am, narrating everything with vague details.

can i just say, though, that april may mark the end of "the phase" and that i am slowly going back to the way i was years ago, before all the pandemic fiasco. i'd gladly want to go back to the old me, minus the mindset because i am sure as hell i've grown so much than i had for a few years. you know, just my way towards things--how i react, how i speak, how i act. i just want to be that girl again.

anyway, april is the month that i took care of myself seriously, like seriously. however, towards the end, i found it hard to be consistent with everything. this relapse is normal, so i try not to make myself feel bad.

in a nutshell, i used april as my recovery month, and i hope that may would be as good, if not better.

see you in a few, i guess

BYE APRILLL