I havenāt wrote anything in awhile. I also havenāt posted a lot of creative stuff in awhile. I got off of Facebook, limited my performing, and hid in the comfort of my home many nights to protect myself from whatever it was I believed was trying to hurt me.
Itās funny how when you make decisions to hide in one area of your life, other areas follow. I learned to hide in friendships and in everyday interactions. Sometimes it feels like itās the only way to preserve yourself when you are going through a tough time.
What I am finding is, when you hide nobody is going to ask you to come out. Especially as you get older. With the chaos of life, many are focused on their own lives and not too consumed on how you are living yours. Itās not so much sad as it is the truth. Itās not anybodyās job to bring you out of the dark. You have to seek your own healing. I am not saying hiding is a bad thing. Sometimes you need to hide, but it becomes dangerous when thatās all you do. When you snuff out the voice and become comfortable with never coming out.Ā
Right now as I type this. I want to stop. I donāt want to write anymore. There are some insecurities popping up in my head telling me my thoughts donāt matter. That nobody will read this. That I should go back to just not sharing my voice. Those thoughts are rooted in fear. They are thoughts that are there to protect me but they are only serving to stifle growth and healing. We all face those voices on a daily basis to stop. Those self defeating thoughts that want to keep us quiet. I believe that we all have things that the world needs to hear. Yet, we can believe that for others and not believe it for ourselves.
I donāt want to hide anymore. I want to share my thoughts even if no one wants to hear them. Itās not their healing. Itās mine, and my healing consists of creating and sharing my truth. My voice. It would be a shame to live this life without letting others know whatās inside. The same goes for you.
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