We meet at Laurenâs at 9. I take a drink and Gonzo is talking to Michael about the pills he had. I mentioned earlier that day that i wanted to take one. I wasnât sure if I was actually going to go through with it, I usually chicken out of things like this, but I did it. I enjoyed the shit out of it. I took it in the hotel room, and I was waiting for a while for it to kick in. I guess it didnât take all that much, maybe about 15 minutes. WE arrived at the Cosmopolitan and as I was leaving the Taxis all i could hear were my steps. I felt like I had the loudest horse shoes. I don't remember walking to the club. I seemed okay until we actually were standing in line to get in. I began to lose my shit. I was telling Gonzo, this isnât a good idea. I shouldnât of taken the pill everything just is tensing up on me. I felt like I was sweeting already and my stomach was hurting. He told me to trust him and take his hand and that he would take care of me. As soon i got into the second station of the check in, (where your hand gets stamped) i was trying to show the dude my purse. He seemed a little annoyed because he said, âwhy are you showing me that, they just checked itâ I donât fucking know man, at this point I felt like a zombie. Buuuuuttt as soon as we got into the club the doubt dissipated. I held onto Gonzoâs hand and he led the way. Anytime I would say, âMy love I canât do thisâ He held on tighter to my hand and somehow that worked. Apparently he was trying to center the attention to my hand so that I would be able to concentrate on something and not lose myself in the details. They also had free drinks for the ladies at the club, not that it actually mattered. What I was excited about was the jug of water that Iâm pretty sure I wouldâve finished if i was left there alone with it. I had so many cups of water and the ice felt amazing! Â I had an urge to chew on something and it was refreshing. Like a jumping into an ice cold waterfall during a hot summer day. I remember people freaking me out. Everyone was loving up on each other and it seemed a little weird. So I began to walk around them, like a vulture or something grabbing water any chance I could get. We somehow managed to lose everyone because I kept having to go to the bathroom. I fell twice on my way to the bathroom, like a baby horse trying to walk. I fell with my legs opened and inward, it was pretty strange. Its even more strange because its not like I was stumbling or losing my balance. I was walking just fine and then I would eat shit. Anyway we were finally beginning to look for the people that we came with. I found Lauren all the way in the front of the club, I tried to make my way up to her and everyone seemed like they were trying to beat my ass. People get very territorial over their dancing spaces. As soon as I get to her she tells me that Val is lost and drunk somewhere and we have to go find her. Apparently I was ready to do some saving because I envisioned it like the Hangover except the complete opposite. It wasnât much of a missions because 5 minutes later her bf tells us that sheâs in the hotel throwing up. Had I known she was taken care of I wouldâve stayed at the club. Im not much of a good friend when it comes to friends. I mean if someone is there for you, you really donât need the other 4 people to come to the rescue. Maybe just one other person will be cool. And then the thing about girls with boyfriends is that girls canât go anywhere alone because, âWhat if something happens to themâ âWhat if they donât know theyâre way aroundâ Always something. And if their boyfriends let them go alone they're the jerk. So it's a double edged sword. You can either be a dick by letting her go alone, or you can be a dick while you're there.
We start making our way out, Alex is pissed as shit because he doesnât want to leave. And Iâm just having a blast, even just walking around is exciting. Weâre talking to people. I begin asking everyone for directions. This social butterflies emerges out of me. Im loving the way Gonzo is feeling.I feel like just hugging him and making out with him. Everything just felt so amazing. I was so fucking happy just being with him and spending time with and actually experienceing this with him. There would be moments that we would fall behind just because I would get lost in him. Literally lost in him. I wanted him to feel how much I loved him and I felt like he wasn't able to. (All this love that I can fill like a hundred other me's and it still wouldn't amount to the love I have. I always want him to feel it. I just want to put him in my love bubble so I can protect him and he never has to deal with any pain or bs because he doesn't deserve any of it. He is just everything for me. I've never been so eager to start my life with someone.)His confidences emerges and the way he would talk to me was so fucking sexy. I literally put all of my trust in him and he did not fail me. He took care of me, 100%. I am so in love with him. When we went back into our room making out with him was my favorite. They were these soft gentle kisses. but i could feel them all over my body. It was seriously everything I wished my Vegas trip to be. A little more dancing but eh thatâs okay.














