"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
occasionally subtle
Fai_Ryy
hello vonnie
Cosimo Galluzzi
@theartofmadeline
YOU ARE THE REASON
$LAYYYTER
Noah Kahan
Jules of Nature
art blog(derogatory)
Discoholic šŖ©
we're not kids anymore.
bliss lane
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š©µ avery cochrane š©µ
taylor price
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
seen from TĆ¼rkiye
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seen from Canada
seen from Bangladesh
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@lizzqueenie
Guys just wear masks in the beginning to make you fall in love so itās harder to break away. I donāt think I wanna try for anyone after this. If I can buy a house on my own and just vibe by myself I think Iāll be okay. Itās better than this..
Yesterday I put a partial down payment for my house. I had my dude with me. We saw a first one and I didnāt like the neighborhood so i went to go look at another place in a different town. I was following the lady and he was mad because he needed to go to WT because I just gave him $40. He needed to meet someone for fetty. In the middle of us trying to buy a place.. he dead ass got out at a stop sign after being on the phone and saying ālemme figure this shit outā and hung up. After he got out he texted me āIām cool on moving in, you do you, have fun, Iāll never forget thisā what?? I didnāt even talk.. he just got out of the carā¦ I told him that. How is he gonna be mad at me for that? Then he replied with he had to break into a trailer and he might go to jail.. I was like why? He replied back an hour later and said he was good and he left.. I was like ight.. tf.. you got your money and ditched me in the middle of something important. That shows me plenty. I donāt want you to move in and I donāt wanna be with you anymore. In good with all this BS.
Heās mad, so mad he doesnāt wanna talk today. Iām at work wanting to relapse but the blades are dull. He knew I was about to crash emotionally today too. I told him yesterday.. who cares though. Like I said, my feelings donāt mean anything, I donāt mean anything and I shouldnāt be here. Iām glad no one has this page and itās all quiet. I donāt need anyone knowing this is how I feel. Just need to put it down somewhere I guess. Iām always gonna feel this way. Itās always gonna be this way. Gotta stay quiet even though he tells me to speak my mind. I canāt even tell him I gotta go to work without everyone saying Iām making a scene and I yelled.. I didnāt. I just moved the foil and he wanted it back so I gave it to him and said I just wanted a kiss and to love on you.. I didnāt even say it loud.. Iām a problem. As always. When I apologized and said it was my fault. It was even a bigger problem. He said no itās his fault and over reacting.. he didnāt wanna let it up.. until he just didnāt wanna talk anymore..
Telling me Iām getting too comfortable tells me I canāt get comfortableā¦ hold back always because he doesnāt really like me.. just the surface. Just want I can do for him and when Iām quiet with no opinion.. why am I even here.. trying to relapse thatās for sure..
Before, I couldnāt wait to get off work and head to you. Iād rush out of my car to get inside just to see you. Because before: you would be waiting for me. Waiting in the threshold of your place or even in the driveway ready to open my door. With questions on how my day was, if I ate anything, what did I eat, if Iām hungry now. You cared. I returned that. Iāve been returning it but lately it hasnāt been that way. I find myself sitting in the car not wanting to up to your apt. 5 minutes go by.. okay Iāll go in.. 10 mins go byā¦ okay Iāll go inā¦ I open the door and still sit.. close the door and still sit.. you know Iām here in the parking lot. But youāre no longer waiting in the parking lot/ driveway. Youāre no longer waiting in the threshold.. I know when I walk in you might be on the phone or so heavily into your phone you donāt even notice Iām there. Just subconsciously open the door. Or you are sleeping finally.. day 5 today..
My thing is, men say they want you to talk to them in the moment about something if there is something wrong. You do then you get called negative right off the jump. So I donāt say anything and when I donāt say anything I get āyou should have told me in the momentā. So donāt say anything at all. Just hide it. Then when Iām quiet I gotta say Iām just stressed and itās anxiety.
The drugs.. I thought you would try harder than what you did to stay clean but you didnāt. Youāre aware it hurts me but you donāt care enough to stop and that hurts. I canāt get any time with you even if Iām next to you. This past week Iāve just watched you get deeper and deeper in your addiction and I donāt want to.. but I donāt want to leave you. I know you are like this because of the addiction. Itās not who you are. I canāt stop you from anything. I can only encourage but when I donāt see my importance anymoreā¦ I just wanna pull away. I know Iāve been bitchy, Iām aware now that Iāve been snapping at you and I donāt want to but I just canāt. The situations you have gotten into and the deeper you go the harder I see itās gonna be to get out.. the only way you would get out is if you went to jail. You are a meaner person when youāre using. I tried telling you that and of course you got upset saying ādonāt be saying that stuff, that Iām mean to youā.. no consideration of my feelings anymore. Yet you want me to tell you in the moment. I could have full conversations with you. You would pay attention. We talked about a lot of things. I hate waking up in the middle of the night to you using. I hate that you stay up for days at a time. Youāre on your 5th day and you donāt care about anything I have to say. You bring people around that donāt want to see you succeed, who only give you false promises but yet bring em back a few hours later just for your stuff to get stolen or for them to use you for the things you got with the money you just got. Then they disappear with excuse after excuse on why not to help you with getting money. Shit but when you have it they use it until itās gone within a couple of hours again. Then you added a puppy into the mix. Just more and more money. I canāt tell you anything. I donāt want to make you upset about anything. Iām tired of making you upset so I just donāt wanna speak anymore. If I have an issue imma just keep it to myself.
Needed to come back to a journal. When thereās no where to turn. Just write it down again. New relationship. Been going on for a year now. Drugs are a bitch though..
#drugs #addiction #relationship
I guess weāll talk when your drinkin sweetheart. Weird behavior. Donāt stop texting me during the middle of the day, then text me āgood morning šā at 10 the next day? I know your schedule.. two can play the game. Iāll talk to you when I feel like it
Iāve got a few open paths, Iām not sure which one to take. I honestly donāt even know if their paths or what all this means. So should I just continue? Like okay dumb or should I cut it down or just stop all together?
Man you got me timing myself on when to text back šš
It has been YEARS tumblr! Iāve been through hell and back while I was gone! Got into an abusive relationship for 5 years. Foo wouldnāt even let me download tumblr. But Iām back and better than ever š I aināt going anywhere now š
Damn tumblr, itās been a long time
Life is shut again
You fucking thought
This nigga opened my phone with my thumb print while I was sleeping š I DONT WATCH PORNHUB. My go to site is xnxx š i really have to take my fucking thumb print out of my phone now because of this nigga.
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