Cogito Screaming into the void

READ PINNED BEFORE INT | Call me Coma/Cogito | 19

[lobotomymassacre]

-= THIS BLOG =-

WILL CONTAIN

- LOTS OF SCREAMING

- DELUSIONS

- PROBABLY SHIT TAKES I DONT REALLY STAND BY

- MORE DELUSIONS

- PROBABLY HATEFUL SPEECH (SORRY)

- SWEARING AND LOTS OF IT

- DID & SCHIZOPHRENIA CRAP

- MIGHT HAVE SEXUAL/PORN RELATED STUFF ON HERE BUT ITS FOR THE PURPOSE OF RANTS. IF YOU DONT LIKE THAT EITHER LEAVE OR FACE YOUR FEAR AND JOIN THE CONVERSATION

DONT LIKE IT? BLOG AINT FOR YOU! SHOO, SHOO!

ALLOWS

- ASKS ABOUT RANTS

- ASKS ABOUT SYSTEM

- POSTITIVE ASKS I GUESS??

- IRLS BECAUSE I DONT FUCKING CARE

DOES NOT ALLOW

- ENDOS

- T.R.A.S.H

- PROSHIT OR WHATEVER

- ASKS THAT ARENT WHAT I ALLOWED

- IF ITS NOT IN THIS LIST AND I COMPLAIN ABOUT YOU JUST DEAL WITH IT AND MOVE ON ITS NOT PERSONAL

- DO NOT TAKE MY DIVIDER PLEASE THANK YOU.

- DO NOT SEND ME NEGATIVE MESSAGES ABOUT MY PARTNERS, EVEN IF I RANT ABOUT THEM I STILL LOVE THEM

BE WARNED

- I AM 19. IF YOU ARE A MINOR I ADVISE YOU INTERACT WITH CAUTION

- PLEASE DONT INTERACT IF YOUR 14 AND UNDER I DONT WANT TO BE INFLUENCING MIDDLE SCHOOLERS.

- FOLLOW YOUR OWN DNI OR I WILL COME AFTER YOU ♡♡♡♡♡

- BY SENDING ME ASKS THAT DISRESPECT MY DNI YOU ARE OPENING YOURSELF TO VERBAL ATTACKS AND INSULTS. DONT GO CRYING TO YOUR MOMMY OR LIKEMINDED PEOPLE WHEN I TELL YOU HORRIBLE THINGS WHEN IT WAS YOUR CHOICE TO INTERACT

- BUT BY ALL MEANS, FEEL FREE TO RAGE IN MY ASKS IF YOU RELATE TO MY POSTS. I MAY EVEN RAGE WITH YOU!

- THIS PLACE IS FOR ME TO SAY THE NASTY HORRIBLE THINGS I WANT TO SAY WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY BODY BUT KEEP INSIDE OUT OF POLITENESS AND THE URGE TO BE "GOOD". IF YOU'VE EVER FELT THE SAME WAY OR NEEDED TO SAY SIMILAR THINGS. FEEL FREE TO SHOOT AN ASK MY WAY

- THIS BLOG IS FREE AND UNCENSORED. I WILL NOT JUDGE YOU FOR STRONG LANGUGE OR THREATS. I LIKELY WILL NOT PROVIDE TRIGGER WARNINGS, AND IF I DO IT WILL LIKELY BE PUT AS A CATEGORY

- dont look for my main blog lmao... not like itd be hard but its just a totally different vibe, way friendlier

EXTRA BS.

DOC ON HKP

THIS BLOG IS FOR ME TO VENT RAGE IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT YOU CAN FUCK ON OFF I'VE KEPT MYSELF HARDLY STABLE ENOUGH TO EXIST BY KEEPING IT ALL IN AND FUCK ALL I ACTUALLY NEED THIS

MASTERLIST

CATEGORIES | POSTS

[lobotomymassacre]

I hate labels nowadays, and i hate how we keep increasing the amount of labels we deem as bad and unethical.

My biggest gripe is the term ageism. And when people treat adults not wanting to be around kids as discrimination.

Im sorry i dont want to catch a fucking case hello? I dont want to be around a lot of kids because I'm an adult and want to be in adult spaces thats not me discriminating against you thats me trying to protect you from getting overly used to adults and treating a safe experience with me as proof all adults are good. I dont want you getting GROOMED thats why i try not to interact. I dont hate you cause your a kid I just dont want to negatively influence you

If an adult said it was ageist for a kid to not want to interact with them it'd be creepy but if I dont want to be in spaces surrounded by minors because im an adult who wants to have adult conversations im bad for that?? I really dont get the gist am i bad now for NOT being a groomer hello????

Is that ageist? Is not wanting to hurt kids ageist??? Sorry I dont want to contribute to what makes pedophiles so prevalent I guess.

[lobotomymassacre]

Maybe everyone would like me better if I just sat still, quiet and agreeable, and was always picture perfect like a trophy wife

[lobotomymassacre]

I could be your trophy husband. I won't even disagree with you on anything, I can be perfect, I have to be, I have to be perfect, I have to be perfect, I have to be perfect, I have to be perfect, I have to be perfect, I have to be perfect, I have to be perfect, I have to be perfect, I have to be perfect, I have to be perfect, I have to be perfect, I have to be perfect, I have to be perfect, I have to be perfect, I have to be perfect, I have to be perfect, I have to be perfect, I have to be perfect, I have to be perfect, I have to be perfect, I have to be perfect, I have to be perfect, I have to be perfect, I have to be perfect, I have to be perfect, I have to be perfect, I have to be perfect, I have to be perfect, I have to be perfect, I have to be perfect, I have to be perfect, I have to be perfect, I have to be perfect.

[lobotomymassacre]

I think im breaking

I dont want to

I know I've disappointed you and im sorry

I wish i wasn't broken

I wish it wasnt a burden for you

I wish hurting myself made it easier for you

I wish killing myself would ease you of the burden of me

But it wont

I wish you would stop reading these because I know they only make you feel worse

But you wont

I wish i could stop being someone so hateable

I wish i was good, but im not

And you used to be okay with that, you used to love me for my good parts

But sometimes I can't even see if I have any good parts to you anymore and I wish you would remind me of what qualities I have the same way I constantly try to remind you of the ones you have

Why must we be in constant pain?

Why must we always be in a battle?

Can we just be calm for once

Gentle

And sweet?

Please?

Let us just hold eachother for a while and weep. Please.

[lobotomymassacre]

If only I could scream in a way that mattered

[donutdrawsthings]

my most sick and twisted fantasy

[lobotomymassacre]

Please stop

[lobotomymassacre]

0pewse stkp

[lobotomymassacre]

Please stip

[lobotomymassacre]

Please stop

[lobotomymassacre]

Please.s top

[lobotomymassacre]

Please stop

[lobotomymassacre]

Every time I screw up I want to destroy my body more, maybe then ill actually remember what im SUPPOSED to do to make the people I love happy instead of constantly disappointing them

Please, for your own mental health, stop reading these, they'll only make you angrier at me, your only going to hate me more. I dont want you to hate me anymore I cant take it I keep making you upset at me

[lobotomymassacre]

Maybe everyone would like me better if I just sat still, quiet and agreeable, and was always picture perfect like a trophy wife

[lobotomymassacre]

Im just a fucking statistic to you

[lobotomymassacre]

I have persistent reoccurring dreams about a new teacher being hired at my school who proceeds to physically and verbally abuse me because of my sarcastic nature

i think its because everyone keeps getting mad at me for it, like how my mom screams at me for having even the slightest bit of attitude towards her even when i only do it after her not listening to be at all whenever i try to tell her information in other ways.

[lobotomymassacre]

She was a coreman

She knew how illegal it was to sell my pills

She casually admitted it to me in the car, confirmed it again 3 days later when I asked.

And when I pushed further mentioning it was illegal she backtracked and changed the story.

She had a degree in public health and was part of the navy.