"22, Cataclyst, illegitemate son of...the patriarch? What, really? That's what they call him? Fuck, this is a cult, I've wound up in a cult, this is bullshit. Fuck this place."
Alithea sat back down on the bed, adjusting the box to open it for him. “I wouldn’t half do anything, especially for my fiance.” She said with a fake smile. “It wouldn’t be fair to you.” She let her face fall to ‘look’ at the cake. “Did Remington do it well?”
-
“Listen, Thea, I’m not going to tell him if you aren’t playing the role of dutiful wife,” he said, “and it makes me feel kind of gross to see you try and fake it after we were like...connecting as human beings.”
He looked at the cake and back up at her, “honestly, it’s the fanciest fucking cake I’ve ever seen. It looks great.”
“That’s not how it works in a coven like this one, Logan.” Alithea pat his shoulder as she stood up. It was his birthday, and he hadn’t celebrated it? It wasn’t something that she had really been interested in, birthdays were just another year, but if he wanted something, she’d have to learn to be subservient. “I can get you a cake. There’s a brand new bakery in town, and Remington makes wonderful sweets.” She flicked her cane out, using it to traverse back through town.
Alithea couldn’t help but feel wrong about what she was doing. Logan was lovely, a great friend. At least he was trying to get out of it, even if things like happiness and true love weren’t possible for either of them. She stepped into the bakery, unsure of what kinds of cakes he liked. A chocolate cake seemed safe, so she bought one with strawberry accents. Upon walking back with the cake, she wondered if this would be what her life was going to be like for the rest of her life.
“Knock, knock.” The prophet called into the room, holding the cake box in front of her. “If you don’t like chocolate, you’re going to be disappointed.”
-
“You don’t have to-” he said but she was l already gone and to be totally honest he did kind of want cake so...
Alone, he let himself feel miserable again. Why couldn’t he solve the problem? Why couldn’t he figure out how to best his father and free them both from this mess. He was supposed to be smart, it was his one and only redeeming feature as far as he could tell and he was useless.
When she returned with a cake box, he was a little surprised, “that was...quick. Seriously though, I would have been fine with something less...elaborate.” When he’d asked her, he pictured something dumb and fun, this was...actually really thoughtful. “You aren’t the kind of person to half-ass shit are you?”
Alithea was sure that Logan understood that whenever she said she loved Mari, she meant it. She meant it more than she wanted to. She loved Marioara and she hated herself for it. Why couldn’t she have just loved Logan in the way the patriarch wanted her to. “I knew that I was going to be matched. I knew that marrying for love it’s… It was never going to happen for me.”
-
“You should have gotten to...” he muttered before falling silent. He might have asked her, like a protective little brother, not to do anything that would get Mari in trouble but...well, they were all past that point, they were past that point a lot longer than any of them had realized.
“Do you feel like doing me a stupid favour?” he said, “you can say no if you want...but I accidentally missed my birthday during my...uh...walkabout. Could you maybe find me some cake? Or something, I don’t know...a twinkie from the cafeteria even?” He didn’t really need one, he just thought that maybe they could spend a few minutes thinking about something other than the fact that they were totally screwed.
Alithea looked away whenever she heard the sheets moving. “I don’t want to marry a man.” She said, closing her eyes. She could almost see Mari in her mind. The black hair that smelled almost of smoke. She let out a chuckle at his offer of an affair. “I love Marioara.”
-
“Oh...oh.” he repeated, he knew they were close but he didn’t realize they were that close. Did Mari feel the same way? Alithea was great, he hoped so...or maybe he didn’t, maybe that would just make this all that much worse.
“I never thought I would get married so I didn’t ever think ask myself if I wanted to...” he admitted, trailing off. The Logan that lived in Chatham Ontario was a nobody, less than that. There wasn’t a girl in that city that would want to be legally bound to him. “I just...I know that I never wanted this.” He never wanted someone who didn’t want him. “It all seems like a pretty shitty excuse to cause you both problems.”
Finally. A creature the demon had prepared for. “Logan”, the girl cried out, her voice just as airy as it had been before. Raven waves bounced around her shoulders, the vessel’s hair quite a bit shorter then it had been when Samca found it, as she made her way towards the man. Throwing her arms around Logan’s neck, she hugged him tightly. “Oh my God. I heard about what happened with dad. Are you alright?”
-
Stunned wasn’t the right word for it and yet it was the only one he could think of to describe his state. Tessa was dead, he’d seen the grave, not the body perhaps but still. There was no room for error, he had to be sure. Despite his certainty, everyone’s certainty, there she was, looking like her, sounding like her...did she feel like her? He couldn’t tell, his perception was clouded.
After a long moment, his shaking arms wrapped around her, holding her tight. “How is this possible?” he breathed, he couldn’t answer her question, he couldn’t fathom how to talk to someone who came back from the dead. “Am I going mad? You’re real, right?
“Listen, I’m going to put a tracking device on you if he doesn’t.” Alithea had come to care about her fiance even if she could never truly love him. “I need someone to get through life in this coven.” And Mari would never forgive her if Logan died because she couldn’t go through with everything.
“I know that she’s upset. I might not want to marry you, but I don’t want you to die.”
-
He flinched, turning his head toward her, the sheets and pillow cases rustled softly, sighing deeply. “I know you don’t want to marry me, maybe you didn’t want to marry anybody but...if you wanted to have an affair that wouldn’t bother me,” he said. “Just, if you do, be careful, don’t let the patriarch find out.”
He studied her face in the dim light, “you’re pretty close with Mari, aren’t you?” he said.
It was becoming a habit that once people found out about the witch’s abilities, that they’d request her help in exchange for gifts, favours, even friendly advice – which for the most part, she did not take. If the offer was reasonable, she’d go against her morals for the sake of a buck, mostly because it was hard to get by in a town with no career prospects. Besides, it wasn’t as though she were being selfish, she was helping others.
“Let me guess, you’d like the weather to be sunny for your barbecue?” Juliet teased, as someone approached her. Studying their features indescribably, she tilted her head. “Or perhaps you want to feel better about something?”
-
There was no way out that Logan could think of, no clever plan, he was outgunned and outmanned in his battle against the patriarch and his forced marriage was a certainty. He couldn’t live or die as a sorcerer and be free of him in time...but maybe...
“I want you to take my magic away,” he said, “if you can, if it’s possible.” Logan didn’t want to stop being a caster, he’d felt so...so alive when he finally connected with that side of him, the thought of loosing that...caused him grief, unbelievable grief. Heartbreak aside, he couldn’t let his father hurt the people around him because he was the only male magical child. He couldn’t.
“Hmmm, how quaint”, Samca purred as she looked over the town. Pulling a deep breath in through her nose, it was abundantly clear that there was a lack of fertility in the town. For she could smell a cooking babe for miles, yet there seemed to be none. So much for late night snacks. This child better be worth it…
-
He’d finally been released from the hospital but he still felt the patriarch’s eyes on him everywhere he went. He was freer than he was in that room but not by any stretch of the word, free. He didn’t feel as unseen by the rest of the townsfolk either, there was a sense of judgement in the air around him and that was fair, stealing a car was frowned upon in most circles.
It was in this murk that he caught sight of a familiar face, one that made his heart drop to his stomach, his eyes widen like saucers and his jaw hang limp. He shook his head, no, no it couldn’t possibly be...he rushed up the street, bumping people, offing small appologies as he did, trying to get closer, “T-Tessa?” he said, his voice shook, his whole body shook. Was she...was she alive? How was she alive?
“Oh this isn’t good,” he said as he viewed the knocked over vending machine, “maybe if I ju-” he attempted to pick it up to no avail “- yup, nope, great.” Huffing, he ran a hand through his hair and slowly began to back up, deliberating what to do next before feeling himself bump into something. “Please tell me I bumped into a wall,” he quietly said, hoping to not hear a reply
-
Hunter could understand the frustrations that would arise when contending with the likes of an automated food dispensor, especially one from Cresthil. It was uncanny, almost every time he used one there was some sort of problem and it would be a lie to say he hadn’t knocked one over in sheer anger. Hunter couldn’t say if it was the kid’s fault the machine was horizontal but if it was, he wasn’t about to judge.
He backed into him and he shook his head, “sorry,” he said, “not a wall but people have said I make a bette door than a window.”He sighed, what a stupid joke. “Do you need help with that?” he gestured to the machine.
Upon hearing Logan, her fiance, was in the hopsital, Alithea immediately went to go visit. She was sure that if she didn’t, the patriarch would have some choice words for her. Or maybe he would call off the engagement due to Logan’s instability. A girl could only dream. A nurse walked the blind woman to his room, and she softly sat down on his bed. His sleeping form was almost gentle next to her. Reaching up, she brushed some hair out of his face in an attempt to wake him up. “You know, if we are going to be married, you have to be alive for that. If your hope was death, imagine how Marioara would feel.”
-
His sleep was heavy, dreamless, like a fog had settled over him, it was thick and entirely the result of sedatives. Weird, trying to use drugs to stop a guy from doing drugs but maybe the doctors thought it was more of an episode and less of a constant issue. More likely, he was being drugged up to keep him quiet, at the behest of his so called father.
It was in that foggy state that he’d heard her voice, even numbed sharp, stabbing guilt pierced through his chest. He came too but looked pointedly away. “You don’t have to worry about me pulling anything like this for awhile. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’ll have tracking spiders following me or some shit like that...” he muttered. If he was gone, he couldn’t help but think that would be good for Mari, at least she wouldn’t be used like some sort of tool but he was also sure that they were all in agreement about who really needed to go.
“I’m sorry...I didn’t think about how this would affect you or Mari.”
It was days after the engagement was announced. The whole coven knew what was happening and soon the whole town. He could hardly believe it, hell, he didn’t believe it at all but he knew it was happening, he knew…
He couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t rest. He couldn’t breath. How did things go from bad to worse all the time with him? God, he’d been such an idiot, he should have soaked it in, that happiness he first felt when he got to Cresthill, it was the least complicated happiness he’d felt in a long, long time. He should have known the whole thing would crash down around him. He should have known. he should have known.
He wandered the streets of Cresthill in a daze, he didn’t go to work, he didn’t eat much, he barely changed his clothes. Alithea…he felt it rise in his throat when he thought of her. He didn’t want to picture it, what that would look like, a wedding night.
“SHUT UP!” he shouted, across the street an old woman with a dog stopped to stare, the dog was barking, clearly scared, trying to protect his owner. He looked away and he ran down the street. He needed to get out of there. He saw a car with an opened window. He reached in through the crack or tried to, it was too skinny. He placed both hands on the glass, heating them up, he watched it melt. He reached in and unlocked the door, sliding in over the molten puddle. The dog was barking, he could vaguely hear the woman on the phone but in moments the car was hot wired and he was driving away. He didn’t know where but he was going.
A few hours later, he wound up in Salem, which is where things plummeted downhill. He couldn’t remember the details, just that he found a man in a back alley with needles and his drug of choice. He didn’t even wait to find a place inside, behind a dumpster he expertly found the perfect spot to stick the thing in.
“Like riding a bike…” he muttered, that familiar high washing over him, he smiled, he felt good but not good enough, it wasn’t good enough. He could do another, right? That was fine, he’d built up a tolerance, another hit wouldn’t hurt…
He woke up in a hospital in total pain. Did he overdose? The doctor said so but he wasn’t sure. Logan gave them a number to call, the patriarch but he already knew and was already on his way.Sensing his presence beyond the door, Logan disappeared through the window.
He found more heroine, more drink, he tried some crystal meth, everything, he did everything he could to pass out and never wake up again. If he was gone, an embarrassment, Alithea would be free, so would his mother ultimately.
But…if death was what he really wanted, would he go about it in such a roundabout way? There were easier ways…maybe what he really wanted was someone to save him.
He sat down in an alley, leaning up against the side of a building, he closed his eyes and let the highs flow through him, crash against him like waves. Behind his eyes he could see alight but when he opened them, all he saw was shadow, the shadow of his father.
“How pathetic,” the man muttered, Logan looked up to see him open a bottle, a scent filled the air and just like that, he was out cold.
When logan woke up, he was in a hospital again…but not in Salem. He sat up eyes widening, “m-mom,” he breathed out. She was seated next to him on a chair, while his father stood at the door. He glared and growled, “what did you do!”
“He called me and told me you were imploding,” she said, putting her hands on his shoulders. “Logan, you need to stop this, whatever storm you’re making isn’t worth it, he isn’t worth it.”
Logan could see the look of utter indignation in his father’s face, jaw agape, eyes wide. “Leave us Sara.”
“Alright,” she said, getting to her feet, leaving her son’s side, “but only because I know you would hurt him if I didn’t.”
“I would hurt you,” he sneered at her.
“I’m sure,” she said coldly, walking out of the room.
There was silence between the two men, charged, angry, “why did you bring her here?” Logan said, breaking the silence, “I doubt it was to help me feel better.”
“I brought her here to remind you,” the patriarch said, “that I can. To remind you that she isn’t untouchable.”
Logan scowled, rolling his eyes “I figured,” he said.
“Well, you are my son, you aren’t altogether an idiot,” the Patriarch opened the door again behind him, “I’m sending her home now, stay here and behave and you won’t have to worry about anything happening to her.”
“You’re a fucking monster!” Logan spat.
“Perhaps but I’m strong,” he said, “and I won’t be felled by eye rolls and retorts.” With that he left Logan with his thoughts, alone in the hospital room.
Aching, he got out of bed and checked the windows, lined with salt, less to keep him in and more to alert the coven of his movements. He sat back down on the bed and flopped back on his back, staring up at the ceiling. Once again he felt empty and pathetic but he also felt angry, a miscalculation on his father’s part.
“You didn’t finish high school?” It came as a shock to her; he seemed so smart. Although, she should have known better. Carsyn wasn’t dumb, and she hadn’t finished school. She was sure there were plenty of smart people who had done poorly in school or not finished at all. Her head tilted to the side as she regarded him. Something seemed…different about him. “Are you okay?”
.
“No...I did finish technically, I just didn’t do as well as I should have...or needed to,” he sighed and shook his head, if he hadn’t have fucked up so bad during high school, maybe his life would look different, at least, he might not have been arrested and this whole fucked up chain of events he was caught in....”I’m fine...just tired or...whatever, it’s not a big deal.” He looked down at her papers, “do you want some help studying?”
Alithea’s hand was pushed away from him as he stood. The sound of his foot connecting with the desk made her jump. She pulled her legs into her chest, allowing tears to roll down her face. His words made her heart race more. “What do you mean he almost killed her? Killed who? Who did he almost kill, Logan?”
.
He shook his head, “no, I can’t tell you, he wouldn’t want you to know,” he said, “it would be dangerous for you to know, please just forget I said anything. Please forget it. You don’t need to know for us to get out of this.”
She was overwhelmed by the death in the air, and she needed to go to the one place where spirits didn’t seem to be, weirdly enough, and that was the lake. You would think there would be but she found, by only her opinion, that she could feel at ease most when there. She didn’t realize there was someone else there so when she heard a voice she gasped, quickly backing up, “I didn’t know you were there,” she breathed, “warn a girl before saying something”
.
He could barely hear her from where he stood in the water and where she stood on the shore. “I’m not the one who snuck up on you, how about next time you warn me,” he countered, harsher than he meant to. He didn’t like it, that constant feeling of anger. “You didn’t answer my question, what are you doing out here?”
“Hey, there’s no need to be sorry about anything. I would have done the same thing if I were you.”She admitted before she nodded her head. “I sure do, it is an essential thing to bring when you work long hours.”She chuckled softly as she picked up her bag and looked through it and picked out her charger. “Seems like perfect fit for the phone too.”
.
He nodded, taking the charger, looking about for an outlet, finding one along the bottom of the bar. Roden’s bar was a convenient place in that way or perhaps it was mere coincidence that the plug be so near. He plugged it in but the phone didn’t light up right away, when it did, it was the little white apple symbol.”Fuck,” he muttered, “how long has this thing been here...” what were the odds no one saw it or if they did, no one thought to take it?
Echo lake, a place where miserable people collected, it was like a magnet or something. Without even realizing it, Logan found himself standing on the shore, looking out at the moon reflecting on the still surface. He couldn’t see anyone around, not from where he stood at least. He looked one way and then the other, then off went his shirt, pants, drawers, all in a messy pile. He ran forward, into the cool waters, wanting to wash it all off of him, everything, every command, every chain that bound him to that creature of a man...his father.
The work Mari and the other healers in the coven had done was great but his shoulder was still raw, red and angry and it protested being dunked like it was. He submerged himself and burst back up through the surface, flicking his head back fo his hair didn’t get stuck to his face, some of it did anyway.
He wandered backward, standing waist deep in the water, running his hands along the surface, shifting it a little, this way and that. He heard a noise behind him, the snap of a twig. “Little late to be out by the water, don’t ya think?”he said without passion.
Long engagement to Alithea meant a year, but according to the Patriarch, that meant a few months. She swallowed, closing her eyes for a moment, turning her attention to their argument. She was grateful that Logan was fighting for a longer engagement, but three months? That was way too soon, but what the Patriarch says, goes.
The way the older man spoke about leaving a mess left a bad taste in Alithea’s mouth. She was happy whenever the door closed, and the two were left alone. She allowed her breathing to become ragged, her heart to beat too fast. “We have to get out of this. I can’t marry a man.”
x
“Fuck!” he snapped, getting to his feet, kicking the desk in front of him, accomplishing little beyond sore toes and a loud noise. He was so stupid, so fucking stupid. A sob escaped him, and another, fuck, he didn’t need this! Now was no fucking time to be breaking down but he couldn’t stop. He was so frustrated and frankly scared...he knew what his father was like when he didn’t get what he wanted, his shoulder screamed at him to remind him in case he forgot. Logan never forgot.
“He’s fucking crazy, he’ll fucking kill you, he almost fucking killed her,” he took deep breaths, trying to compose himself, Mari...it was dangerous to both of them that he said it. “I shouldn’t have told you that, forget I told you that. Forget it.”
