Logos/Logos// Writing and Designs

[logoslogos]

It is 2014 and things have changed significantly.

I'm no longer remotely the same, but after reading these entries I can see myself laying plans of action that would take effect over time. This is important to note as they were the most effective plans. Plans of immediacy failed (such as MIT lectures etc). If I am to perform action which will help me be more adaptive then I must schedule action in a general way.

My personal life (which I have cultivated well for about a year) has been growing and my network of influence is now diverse and about half of it is wealthy. I've met interesting people who I'd like to pursue relationships with. I might be illustrating for an entire 2d video game with a wealthy programmer. Creating something could be key to changing my life's current outcome and it will be fun to work with someone intelligent and talented. I hope he comes through.

I have an incredible nutritional schedule, with slow cooking/orange juice/ephedrine/ and a variety of nutritional supplements. My current favorites to take are cannabis, BCAA, honey, light amounts of milk, blueberries.

I have not decided on a good staple carbohydrate. I might try slow cooked sweet potato stew. 

I have realized that I am merely my cellular and electrical body and that I must remain moving and active to ensure proper function and stimulation of my cellular systems. My mobility and strength are at an all time high. Muscularity also at an all time high. Body composition is pretty good with a slight belly. BF around %17.

School is still put off more than I'd like, but I am finding the energy to perform the tasks and no longer feel heavy anxiety as I did before. My mind has changed in a very successful way, and it has been based on plans I developed years ago. LONG TERM PLANNING WORKS, BUT NOT SPECIFIC LONG TERM PLANNING. FIND GENERAL PLANNING TECHNIQUES WHICH WORK OVER LONG PERIODS AND ARE ENGAGING AND INTERESTING. 

It is my belief that controls me. It is the process of the "changing of the mind" which seems to govern action, not the specific planning of action. Do not write your goals such as "I want to finish X's illustration" but rather "Draw every day." NOT: "I want to learn how to program x" 

BUT: "I want to program 1 small thing a day."

Creating specific deadlines creates pressure. I currently have a good amount of free time. I can do things that are good and not over deadline. It's better than what I'm doing now.

[logoslogos]

The very opinions, art, and media we purport to come up with on our own, don't merely come from the art, opinions and media of the past, they come from the institutionalization of social contract, mathematics, physics, and I.T. Institutionalization (with all its lunatic connotation) is not only the force which keeps our "social electrons" from careening out of orbit, but is the only way to save our species, and regardless, is inevitable. The key to a superior future society is not disregard for institution, but rather active involvement, and improved institutionalization. We believe ourselves taller than those from the past only because we stand on their shoulders. It is with (not in) their memory we should attempt to triumph in a singular movement.

[logoslogos]

I can start using code to test theory. HTML 5 and php scripting, all of this can be used as MODELS to test results

USE CODE TO TRICK YOURSELF

Have yourself interact with your own creating. Bounce yourself off yourself using multiple media. The external stimuli will have an effect of increasing knowledge absorption rate.

[logoslogos]

Utilize pot to forget earlier configurations.

(only watch hard hard hard basic science when using pot to improve your ratio of basic science vs. complex (bad variable) science)

measure everything with length time and mass

get a feeling for interactions between mass and length

Whenever you make a measurment without uncertainty it is meaningless

You can use the right measurement to make the right case, the right BELIEVABILITY

MEASUREMENT TYPE=RHETORIC!

Thickness/length of femur must be

Square root isn't scary if you use the right variables. Espc. in physics.

L T M are great starter variables, but then sq rts become scalers

Length.....time: mass O

le         ngth/t i m e/MASS

LTM in an eqauilateral as a measurement of constants

Watch MIT open course 1 again after meditating on this.

[logoslogos]

Things are gonna change, I can feel it. When I think of evolution, I don't think of animals, not these days. When I think of evolution I think of replicating materials smashing against the outside world, shaping their vehicle to fit their environment, and shaping their environment to themselves. A never ending collision stretched across time like a water on a river's edge. Like water on water. So when I feel this change in me, that is what I see as well. Memetic evolution. I was speaking to my father at the Central Market Cafe today. My father is retired, and his mind will soon be gone, perhaps, I hope, his body along with it, in sync. I was explaining to him the theory of quantization; that the whole cosmos and all inside it can be mathematically calculated into bits. If that's true, and it is, then ideas exist in the physical world, and they need resources in order to replicate themselves, just like any other evolutionary entity...but they grow faster. I explained that when we do not know our environment, we become slaves to it...and our environment, is just as much our ideas as anything. It took far longer to explain, and I did it in what was, perhaps, a far grander manner. Suddenly, a woman rose up from behind us and walked up to me. She was thirtysomething, and quite attractive with dark hair, a good frame, and glasses that suggested she had lived her life in a world of liberal arts and subjectivity. She was nearly crying. "I believe you. That's really beautiful and I believe you, thank you." she said. It was the first thing she'd ever heard that truly made sense. She told me I was intelligent and that what I'd spoken of was utterly fascinating. She was awestruck, and walked away in a smiling haze. I'm at my apartment now, and I feel that everything has changed. My old friends are dead, and the relationships now, must either form to me, or be forever eroded and burst through. I have collided with the outside world, but what is inside of me cannot be stopped so long as I live. I'm a driver I'm a winner, things are gonna change I can feel it.

[logoslogos]

The universe is governed by heat. I think that much must be true. Ultimately, there are too many fractals, too many vast, possibly infinite strings of equations and numbers, too much quantization to solve...except for heat. We all want to manage the heat, and we need resources to do that, and we'll all fight over them. We'll fight over the resources and that fight will govern us and we are material and we are resources too. So people will fight over us, as long as we can squelch or crank their heat; their need, the need for whatever resource will help them stick around to get more. I stopped drinking. I'm not trying to impress anybody; I'm not trying to fuck anybody. Life is too fragile for that sort of thing. Life isn't about that anymore for humans. Look at this blog...it's an outlet, not for my thoughts or emotions, those are inconsequential. This blog is an outlet for my for the expression of the arcane aspects of my evolution. These aren't emotions, these are statements that I need to render; necessary aspects for correct heat exchange. Homeostasis requires excretion. People need to shit. People need to blog. People need other people to help them shit and blog. Someone will find their need to do this useful, and will exploit it so that they may do the same thing, but with some greater sense of grandeur.

I'm typing this in a room, and it's important that you note what kind, but I don't have to tell you. You should figure out what kind of room it is, because chances are that this room and your room have a striking commonality. Chances are that your room is a lot like my room and it shows how flawed we are and we don't want to talk about it. Chances are that there are secret things in your room, kept from others or kept from you that reveal your nature. But not your nature as an individual. What is frightening about our rooms is that they show our nature as a disparate collective. We people are lonely and inefficient and we know and we will die before we can change and it makes things worse unless we learn not to think of us as people. We should be our rooms, we should be things that are material and are concepts and are demonstrative of the flaws and successes of both. We are propagating material, and unless we embrace first our material, and then the nature of that collective material, we will be unhappy. The universe isn't propagating material. It wants us to stop being us. It doesn't want it too hot or too cold. It wants to be lazy and stable. Our universe is a conservative. Conservatives will always win. They'll always rest in peace. To a conservative, death is always heaven. Heaven is death.

[logoslogos]

It's weird walking back into your room after smoking; for me it's kind of weird smoking. My pantry is full of protein powder and condiments. If I'm honest with myself I gave up health for appearances years ago, and nothing is a more sound judge than a man's own pantry gazing back at him. A lonely fridge full of food that lives as unfulfilled. 

I have a bunch of weird Indonesian pornography resting on my screen, and behind it backlogged work. Old pictorial modernist rip offs I'm doing for a company I don't care about. They turned down my original illustration; I guess the truth is that they weren't that good. They were risky though, and maybe some sap would see them and patron me. Same reason I work out, same reason I drink from stemmed glasses, same reason I went outside to smoke a cigarette. Even woman; patron me. My vices need a sponsor. My lust needs something that confuses it. My lust needs to be existential; then I can love somebody.

All I want from the world these days is to be challenged and intrigued. It only heard the first one, the bastard.

[logoslogos]

Her mother had breast cancer, I'm not sure if I was breaking up or just tenderizing. 

[logoslogos]

She told me that she'd pester me, because she suspected I quietly made grand designs as she lay next to me. She invested her naked body upon mine and in my dreams for her future. I glanced woefully at a garbage bag I'd placed next to the door 2 days before. I'd just been too lazy to take it out.

[logoslogos]

Just before sleep, he looked in the mirror and said "Do I really just want a girl who gets all my jokes?" and then he made a face and a distinctly yiddish noise and walked away.

[logoslogos]

Blogospheric coda

I've never been the type to mouth fuck a girl shortly after meeting her. I've never had the followthrough charm and resultant security to take advantage of a lover. So I make blogs. I've made several throughout the last few months as a shelter and zen to the transitional periods in my life. An anti-regiment to suit me but chide me for neglecting to be confident. I fuck these blogs and pearl them, then I get to walk away, like I always wanted. And just like in real life, if it turns into something more, you're glad you took the risk.

This is a new blog. A new beauty-call,  or whatever corny junk you want to name it. I'll be writing here, and posting designs I make with computers. It'll be public, but I'm going to be sort of intimate, and my brand of intimacy isn't candle lit or shaven, so I apologize. You're free to follow or not.