You Are The Air I Breathe
knight sevika x queen reader
Your knight, Sevika, has been serving you for 18 years, proving her loyalty countless times and suffering many a wound. Touched by her devotion, one day you offer her an early retirement with a sizable pension. What you fail to realize, is that separation from you is Sevika's worst nightmare.
cw: appropriate age gap(38 and 45); power imbalance, sevika is a yearner, reader is a bit sadistic, oral sex, fingering, soft and gentle sex, sevika is insecure, sev has both arms in this(bcs historical prosthetics creep me out)
wc: 3827
The palatial third-floor veranda had always been your safe space, a much-needed reprieve from the many royal responsibilities. It was a constant in your life, a peaceful haven, the one place that had not changed since you took the throne. It had become a spot of serene reminiscence on quiet summer evenings such as this. Many memories, long gone, permeated the chilly air. Memories of decorating this very veranda with your father, the former King. Memories of lying on this very sofa with your late husband, William. Contrary to popular belief, he wasn't your knight in shining armor. In reality, you harbored no romantic feelings toward each other. Your marriage being a political alliance, you didn't expect to find a lifelong friend in your husband, who had always supported you in all your endeavors. He was now five years gone. In fact, all the people you'd ever felt close to were now gone, taken by an ailment or dying in battle. Well, all except for one.
Your gaze fell on the imposing figure at your side, her trusty sword sheathed at her belt, seemingly not weighing her down. She was garbed in a short brown tunic and linen trousers that disappeared into her leather shoes. That's right, your devoted knight, Sevika, was another constant in your life. She came to be at your service to appease the whims of the twenty-year-old you. At the time, as a young princess, you were in need of someone by your side, but you outright refused a traditional male knight. The many potential suitors vying for your heart with their glib speeches and flattery had left you repulsed by men. Hence, your choice of a female knight.
Shifting on the lavish Persian couch, the openwork hem of your long white nightdress hitting the floor, you patted the spot beside you. "Keep me company, Sevika?"
The sound of her name leaving your lips sent a shiver down the knight's back, but she didn't let it show. "But i have to stay vigilant, my Queen. It'd be harder for me to watch over Your Majesty when seated," Sevika said, a slight nervous hitch in her otherwise level tone.
"It's an order." You frowned, evidently used to people obeying every one of your whims without protest.
"Of course, my Queen." With a bow of her head, Sevika reached the couch in one stride, sitting down, making sure to keep a respectful distance.
Once she was settled, you pointed to the ceramic bowl filled with fresh fruit: "Help yourself." You hummed approvingly as she bit into one of the juicy plums, though her form remained tense and alert as always. That`s right, your knight never allowed herself even a moment of reprieve. Having been at your service for eighteen long years, she'd proven her loyalty countless times and suffered many a wound for you. By that point, you had been so tired of sycophantic dukes and obsequious servants that Sevika`s quiet, unobtrusive devotion was like a breath of fresh air. It was no wonder you turned to her when seeking companionship after your husband`s passing. The two of you had had many moments like this, in the quiet of the evening, sometimes just silently enjoying each other`s company, and sometimes indulging in nostalgia for the many memories you had shared. It was inappropriate, a close relationship between a queen and her knight such as that, but you did not care in the slightest. You were the Queen, after all; you were free to do as you pleased.
But tonight was different; the weight of the words you were about to utter lay heavy on your heart. Your gaze trailed Sevika's strong form; her body was littered with numerous scars, some old and some fresh, while her face bore visible signs of aging, evidence of a life spent taking little care of herself. When her eyes met yours, you sighed heavily, trying to keep your signature cool. "Have you thought of retiring, my knight?"
It felt as if the rug were pulled from under her feet. Sevika`s usually rigid countenance cracked, making way for a panicked expression. "What do you mean, My Queen? Have I unwittingly disappointed you in any way?" She uttered breathlessly.
You were startled by the sudden shift in her demeanor; never in the last eighteen years had you seen her mask of stoicism break like this. The unexpected reaction made you think carefully about your next words. "Well, my knight, you've demonstrated utmost skill and devotion over the years. No less important, you've become a dear friend," you paused, smiling to yourself. "Don't fret; you haven't done anything wrong. It's just a gift for your unwavering loyalty. I'm offering you an early, honorary retirement with a sizable pension, as a matter of course. You're getting older, my knight. I think it's time to finally begin living for yourself: find a lover and start a family. I'm offering you peace." Finishing your speech, you awaited her reaction, expecting heartfelt gratitude for your generosity.
To your surprise, Sevika dropped to her knees before you, eyes wide with panic. "M-my Queen, do you think I'm too old and frail to protect you now? Are you planning to replace me with some fresh blood...? My Queen, you know that those younglings can't hold a candle to me. My many wounds may slow me down, but my loyalty remains the same. I'd take a dagger to the heart this very instant to prove my devotion to you, my Queen." She uttered through quivering lips, her gray eyes peering into yours with panicked intensity.
At that moment, many memories swirled uncontrollably in Sevika's mind: memories of the countless evenings spent in the quiet of your chambers, just talking and laughing as if the outside world didn't exist. She'd watched you grow from a spoiled princess to a sagacious, level-headed ruler. All the memories the two of you had shared had a special place in Sevika's otherwise rigid heart. Well... not exactly all of them; your marriage was the single worst moment of her life. Up to that point, she had been trying to write off her feelings as intense devotion, but watching you walk down the aisle with that man while she just stood there like a statue, unable to do anything, felt like the end of the world. One thing she'd never admit out loud was the joy his untimely death had brought her. It had made the two of you closer than ever before, which only served to intensify her unrequited feelings. She would never dare confess them to you, in fact, she was content with just being your "dear friend." But it was all over now; you were sending her away. Did you honestly not see that she lived and breathed for you, and you only?
God damn it, she loved you, even if she were bound to take those feelings to her grave.
«How dare you refuse such a generous offer from your Queen?» You spit, your angry tone snapping her back to reality. In all honesty, you weren`t that angry, just frustrated with her perpetual self-sacrificial behavior. The devotion of your subjects was a matter of course, but God, her taking a dagger to the heart was the last thing you wanted. Why was she so eager to die for you? Why was she so eager to leave you just like everyone else who`d ever meant something?
«My Queen, you don`t understand; separation from you would bring me nothing but agony. I wish to serve you till my dying day.» The floor digging into her knees uncomfortably, she attempted to return to her place on the couch beside you, only to be held down by your delicate hand on her shoulder. Sevika felt a sharp twinge of pain from your palm pressing down on a fresh wound, but she kept quiet, just gritting her teeth.
Her small reaction not escaping your watchful gaze, you wrapped your hand tighter around her wounded shoulder, causing a weak moan to leave her lips. «Do you feel that, my knight? Is this really the life you wish to live? The life of constant pain and self-sacrifice?»
A sense of power over her was mixing with your frustration. Seeing such a strong woman on her knees before you, stuttering and pleading, not even attempting to move away as you hurt her, was awakening an unfamiliar feeling deep inside you. It was a much-needed release for your anger; you wished to show her the consequences of the life she`d chosen for herself. «You are retiring. It`s an order.» You said with a sense of finality, releasing your hold on her shoulder, though the words lay heavy on your heart.
Upon hearing your words, Sevika just held your gaze silently for a few seconds, eyes glazed over. Nothing mattered anymore; it was over. Sighing heavily, she began in a resigned tone, an imperceptible, rare smile gracing her full lips. «My feelings for you… They aren`t just blind devotion. If we are to be separated forever, then I must confess… I love you, my Queen. I`ve always loved you. This love has kept me going in the darkest times. I live and breathe you, my Queen. Without you, I'm nothing. I cease to exist. Whatever fate awaits me after uttering these words, I'll take it. I'll take it with a smile on my face, because at last, I've mustered up enough courage to confess my true feelings."
Well... that was certainly unexpected, but it served as an explation for her self-scarificial behavior over the years. A long pause followed her ardent confession; it was the first time in a long while something had caught you off guard. To your confoundment, you weren't angry. For some inexplicable reason, in that moment, you didn't even think it strange for a woman to confess her feelings to another woman. In fact, it felt oddly natural.
Your hand moving on its own, you reached out to gently cup her scarred cheek, making her jolt in surprise. "Well, this is certainly unexpected. Do you know that you could be sent to the gallows for such a brazen confession, my dear knight?" Your tone held a tinge of teasing now, a slight smile adorning your face. Despite the scandalous nature of her feelings, you couldn't deny the excitement that was coursing through your body, melting your jaded heart.
Sevika looked up at you with tentative hope, leaning her cheek into your palm. Were you not mad at her? Your voice was almost playful, as if you were teasing her. "M-my Queen, I don't wish to hide my feelings anymore, even if they bring about my untimely demise."
"And what do you intend to do about those feelings, Sevika? Surprise me." You leaned forward, as if challenging her.
Emboldened by your playfulness, Sevika leaned down to your knee, pressing a soft kiss over the fabric of your nightgown. The tentative action was followed by a few more feather light pecks to your knee and upper thigh. She wrapped her shaky hands around your ankle, looking up at you in loving servility. "May I touch you some more, my Queen?"
Feeling your heart pleasantly squeeze in excitement at her question, you smiled down at her with mirth. Was it wrong to feel more from the touch of this woman than your late husband? Was it a sin? Well, it didn't really matter. You were the Queen, always receiving whatever it is you desired; and in this moment, you desired her. "If that's what you wish for, we shall move to my chambers, my dear knight."
__________________
When you lightly pushed her onto your lavish, queen-sized bed, Sevika showed no resistance, feeling the silky sheets beneath, her sword and boots abandoned on the floor. "My Queen, I might dirty your bed," she demurred weakly, propping herself up on her elbows as she looked up at you in awe.
Chuckling to yourself, you slowly crawled over to her on the bed, settling between her parted legs. "I don't care how dirty my sheets might become." Before she could react, you leaned forward, connecting your lips to hers.
It took Sevika a few seconds to quell her excitement before she wrapped her arms around your waist tightly, your body pressed up against hers. Fervently returning the kiss, she deftly moved her lips against yours. Sevika had had some experience with women in the past before she became smitten with you.
As both of you pulled away to take a breath, she still held on to you tightly, as though afraid you would change your mind or that it was all but a wishful dream. "You're so beautiful, my Queen. I've been wishing to tell you this for ages."
You felt your face heat up, not only at her words, but also at the soft, loving gaze she'd directed at you. "I'm not as beautiful as I was in my younger years." You smiled wistfully.
"What? My Queen, you're utterly gorgeous! You might not look as you did twenty years ago, but that is only because you've grown, both physically and emotionally. You're not the same inexperienced, naive princess, but a feared and respected Queen. All that you've gone through has shaped your current appearance; your beauty is a testament to the person you've worked so hard to become." Sevika uttered breathlessly, pressing a reverent kiss to your exposed collarbone.
Her eloquent speech sent a warm pang through your heart, though it was becoming harder to contain your growing desire at her affectionate gestures. Eyes half-lidded, you tugged on her tunic. "Take it off, all of it."
Heat rushing to her cheeks, Sevika squeezed your waist to ground herself. "My body is unsightly, my Queen. It's littered with scars; you might be disappointed."
"I said, take it off." Gaze turning stern, you rolled your eyes. You expected every one of your orders to be obeyed without question.
"I'm sorry, my Queen. I'll do it," she uttered, gently untangling her body from yours to stand up. Her heavy belt was the first to hit the hardwood floor, followed by her tunic and, finally, her trousers. She stood before you in a linen undershirt and a pair of knee-length underdrawers that stretched around her toned thighs. Feeling insecure, she silently pleaded for some reassurance.
"Beautiful, continue," you drawled out, a content expression gracing your features at her obedience.
Sevika nodded, swiftly stripping off her undergarments, now standing before you fully bare. Feeling exposed under your watchful gaze, she awaited your reaction, her tense muscles pulsing.
Your eyes trailed from her broad shoulders to her heavy breasts, her hard, sculpted abs, the happy trail stretching from her lower abdomen into the full bush of hair between her legs. Your hand moved on its own; you began tracing the many scars adorning the knight's brawny form in quiet fascination. On the one hand, the numerous wounds, old and new, were a testament to her devotion. On the other hand, you felt that familiar frustration cloud your mind; she'd taken them all for you. Your poor, selfless knight.
"Your body... it's beautiful. Don't you dare call it unsightly ever again." Nails gliding down her toned forearm, your reached her hand, linking your fingers together. "Come back to bed, my knight."
Upon hearing your order, she lay back down, with you immediately crawling on top of her. Leaning down, you began pressing feather-light kisses along her body until your lips reached her lower abdomen. "Have you thought of doing this with your Queen before, my knight? Or is your love pure, devoid of carnal desires?" Stilling your ministrations, you raised your head, eyeing her down with mirth.
Pleasure clouding her mind, she didn't register your question at first. Snapping out of her trance, she propped herself up on her elbows, heat rushing to her face. "I must admit I have thought about it before, but not like this. I should be the one pleasing you, my Queen. Please, let me touch you."
Her entreatment tugged at your heartstrings, but you did not concede. "Tonight is about you, my knight. You've been the one taking care of me all these years. It's time for me to return the favor. Just lie back and enjoy," you smirked, not giving her the opportunity to protest as you pushed your face between her toned thighs. Granted, since that was your first time with a woman, your movements weren't perfect, but where you lacked technique, you made up for it in speed and desire to please. You felt her thighs tremble, low grunts escaping her full, parted lips. All of it only served to embolden you in that moment; pushing your face further into her vulva, the dark hairs tickling your face, you swirled your tongue eagerly. Her tangy, natural musk invaded your senses, which only heightened your arousal.
"M-My Queen, please stop! I might soil your beautiful face," Sevika protested weakly, though she didn't actually wish for you to stop. It felt surreal: the Queen, the love of her life, was pleasuring an aging, scarred knight like her. The sheer fact that you weren't repulsed by her and even seemed eager to please was enough to push her over the edge. Her trembling hand found your hair, lightly holding on to it for leverage as the coil in her abdomen snapped. The knight let out a singular low moan, coating your lips in her release. "Sorry..."
Not giving her a moment to come down from her high, you sat up on your knees on the bed, swiftly sliding off your white nightgown. You were naked before her, as it was standard not to wear any undergarments under night clothes.
In that instant, Sevika propped herself up on her elbows, her eyes gliding over your form in awe. Your supple breasts, the dark patch of hair leading down to your center, and the stretch marks adorning your tummy and thighs— she loved it all. God, you really were the most beautiful creature she had ever seen.
Amused by her awe-stricken expression, you slowly crawled forward, lying down beside her. "You're allowed to touch me now," you whispered, wrapping your arms around her sinewy shoulders.
Sevika nearly groaned as your naked body pressed up against hers; it felt so... Intimate. Her lips slowly connected to your breasts, pressing reverent kisses before eagerly latching onto one of your hard nipples. Her left arm wrapped securely around your waist, the other hand inching down your stomach. As it tentatively reached your vulva, she unlatched her mouth from your chest, looking up at you with dilated pupils. "My Queen, you're already wet... May I touch you there, please?" She uttered with breathless urgency.
"Don't leave me waiting, my dear knight."
Sevika didn`t need to be told twice, slowly easing two of her thick fingers into your sopping entrance, nearly groaning at how warm it was inside.
You felt your breath hitch at the delicious stretch, biting your lip hard to prevent any sounds escaping your mouth. To you, being in such a vulnerable position was foreign; you felt that, as the Queen, you must not show such weakness.
Feeling her warm palm cradle your cheek as she pumped her digits in and out slowly, your gaze met hers. «My Queen, is everything to your liking? You`re very quiet.» Sevika muttered softly, a hint of concern in her tone as she slowed down her ministrations to a halt.
Ironically, it was the stilling of her fingers inside you that made you let out a low moan of indignation. How dare she stop so abruptly just when you were beginning to feel so good? «Keep going, don`t stop.» You spit impatiently, making her snap right back to working her fingers inside your soaked vulva.
As well as her digits sliding in and out of you at a quick pace, Sevika began rubbing your clit in slow circles with her thumb. The added stimulation rendered you unable to contain your sounds anymore. Leaning your head forward, you hid your face in her shoulder, a stream of wanton moans leaving your parted lips. «Aah… You`re so good at this, I'm so close… don`t stop.»
In a way, it felt liberating to finally let go and enjoy yourself like this, in the comfort of your own chambers, with no one to judge you.
Heeding your unrestrained moans and the endearing way you hid your face, Sevika quickened her pace on your clit, desperate to bring you over the edge. «You`re doing so well, my Queen. You sound so beautiful,» she panted out, pressing a chaste kiss on top of your head. In that moment, she felt your form tense against hers as you finally reached your peak, overwhelming pleasure coursing through your body. As your spent form weakly slumped beside her, she swiftly wrapped her arms around you, holding you close. Seeing you so weary, your usual piercing eyes half-lidded, she felt a wave of protectiveness sweep over her. «Don`t worry about anything, my Queen. I`ll hold you as long as you wish; just relax.»
As you lay in her strong arms, still reeling from your orgasm, the reality of the current situation came down on you. You'd just been intimate with your knight, your female knight; but somehow you didn't feel an ounce of regret. The whole affair was exhilarating, making you feel as though you were a teenager again. You had become so jaded, following the many trials and tribulations your royal duties had brought your way, that it served as a much-needed reprieve.
"How are you feeling, my Queen? You seemed to enjoy yourself very much." She smiled warmly, snapping you out of your reverie.
"I did enjoy myself. I feel... liberated," you mused, your gaze meeting hers. "Though I am wondering where you have learned to please a woman like that. The way your fingers moved felt practiced." Raising an eyebrow, you inquired curiously.
Sevika felt heat rush to her face, a wistful chuckle leaving her lips, as she adjusted her hold on your waist. "I've had some experience with women in my younger years, before my infatuation with you, my Queen."
"So there are still things I don't know about your past? You'll have to tell me more about the feats of your youth on one of these evenings," you teased, a genuine smile gracing your face.
Sevika hummed affirmatively, returning the smile. Your playful attitude provided her some hope, but there was still something that plagued her mind. "My Queen, you won't send me away after this, right? My heart won't be able to take it."
Reaching out to cup her cheek, you looked into her gray eyes with conviction, gaze turning serious. "You are staying, of course; but not just as a knight or a friend, but a lover. The only real lover I've ever had."
