Hi everyone. Wanted to start by saying if youâre waiting on a fic or something from my Kinktober list but I wonât be posting for a little bit. I got a comment on the first chapter over on ao3 accusing me of using AI to write it, and if Iâm honest itâs knocked me for six. I hope you all know I would never use AI for many reasons: itâs lazy, itâs destroying creativity and the joy of just creating something (even if itâs bad!), and I think itâs highly unethical and unnecessary in any creative scenario where itâs being used. Actually, not even just creatively. Correct me if Iâm wrong, but I canât think of one positive use of AI.
I know I donât really have that big of a community here yet so you donât know me, but Iâm a pretty sensitive person, and while I donât mind at all if people donât like or interact with my work (itâs not for everyone, and thatâs absolutely fine), unkindness and direct negativity will always get to me. Iâm also very easily demotivated and a highly anxious, so all of this doesnât help also.
Anyway, sorry for the bummer. Iâll try and get back into the swing of things soon. And if I donât, I may end up deleting my 2025 KT list but Iâll let you know first in case there are any in particular people were looking forward to.
Have a good week everyone, and Iâll (hopefully) be back super soon <3
While the rest of the camp are asleep, you and Halsin find some time to appreciate each other and the nature around you
fem!reader/Tav, implied to be elvish, no use of y/n, smut, filthy slutty unprotected sex (in my head sheâs on nararoot so no babies here thank u), thinly-veiled masochism, kinda exhibitionism except the voyeur is the concept of nature (??), dubcon if you squint real hard, idek how to tag this fic ngl
2.9k words
Finally writing again! BG3 has me in a chokehold so expect more fics, Gale next I think, but if you have any requests let me know! Also I will not apologise for posting smut at 12:50PM on a Wednesday, I fell asleep before I could post last night lol
Lungs Contents | General Masterlist | AO3
Everyone else was asleep. Their soft snores filled the camp, a quiet cacophony of peace a change from the usual disquiet, a relaxing moment regardless of your current affliction. Only the elves were left awake, although even that group had begun to dwindle slowly; Shadowheart slinking away to say her prayers, and Astarion skulking off to find his midnight feast. Before you knew it, it was just you and Halsin.
The stars shone brightly over the camp, a beacon or a warning, you couldnât tell. The night seemed to enclose on you, the sound of rustling branches and crickets chirping falling in from all directions. You used to find it disturbing the way nature seemed to prey on your quiet moments, almost deafening in the silence of your thoughts. But now, since Halsin taught you otherwise, it was a comfort, a soothing sound. The knowledge that there was something out there protecting you, something indefinite and all-powerful keeping watch over you. Nature itself, making sure you were safe.
Despite the gentle noise, his voice cut through it effortlessly, a warm blade through butter.
âDo you want to go to the lake?â
It was the same voice that lulled you into the forest a few nights ago, peaceful honeyed tones that soothed you into a submission you were all too pleased to oblige. An admission of lust - adoration, even, by other standards - that lead you to a copse near your camp, and left you with memories of a night that had your head reeling and your body desperatefor more of his touch.
You found yourself answering yes before you could even draw a breath. The fact that you would leave the campfire unattended, the idea that you would abandon the rest of your travelling party in their vulnerable slumber, the concept of any lurking danger⊠all of it flittered in and out of your mind the moment he asked. You left without a second thought, barely even recognising that Astarion had reached the fire mere moments after you left it. Something in you acknowledged that Halsin had waited until then to propose you left, a thought that warmed you, but it was gone before it fully formed, your mind stuck on one thing only. Him.
It wasnât long before you reached the waterâs edge. The lake was clear, shimmering softly in the moonlight as you glanced across it, still in awe of this beautiful new world you had somehow stepped into. You had been following him until this point, a lost pup desperate for guidance, but now you had reached the shoreline, and you were side by side again. A joint breath stilled together as you took in the beauty of the night. It was almost as though nature took a breath for you, the sound of the world seeming to pause as you leant into him, bare arm resting against his.
âItâs beautiful out hereâŠâ you muttered ever so softly, the stillness of the night seeming to envelop you as you spoke. His hand slipped around your waist, gentle and secure, a guiding light in the low glimmer of the stars.
âIâve always found that nature is a mirror. If you feel unsettled, it remains unsettling. If you are at peace, it stays calm.â There was a pause, a gentle intake of breath, the stars shuddering as your heart did at his words. âThe night is only as beautiful as it is tonight because it sees you. It reflects you.â Another pause, though not weighted. Just tranquil and contemplative. âIâve been out here before. This lake, beyond our camp...â You felt his arm slip from you, and you were almost worried that he was pulling away, but instead, he sat in the soft bank of the shore, padded gently with moss and mergrass. You couldnât help but follow suit, his casual movements a command to your mind, settling into the plush ground. âWhenever Iâve visited recently, my mind has been in turmoil. I wonât lie, my thoughts of you have been the main focus.â
âHalsinâŠâ you muttered his name softly. Not a warning, but a reassurance.
âI know now your own mind was in the same place. But I was unsure at the time if you evenâŠâ a sigh left his lips, cushioned by the rustling foliage. âThe lake always seemed to move with my unsteady breaths. My tumultuous thoughts. A bobbing, a disquiet. A reminder that I was not in step with nature the way I shouldâve been. But after the other nightâŠâ your mind couldnât help but flash back to your tryst, body held firm against bark, his tongue enveloping you, his body devouring yours⊠âItâs almost like nature understands now. That we breathe in tune, and it can join us.â Your heart stopped at the admission, the sudden and sharp intake of air you took fresher than the air you breathed before.
âI can feel it too..â you murmured, âitâs almost like the world here breathes for us.â He hummed in agreement.
âNature is fighting hard to recover from the imbalance itâs under right now, the Absolute, the shadow curse⊠But you and meâŠâ You could tell he was choosing his words carefully, trying to make sense of something he hadnât fully contemplated yet. âItâs almost like our bond is so natural it gives nature itself a moment to renew. To remember what itâs here for.â
âWhat is it here for?â
âProtection. Love. Everything pure and good.â A beat passed, the moss beneath you seeming to close inwards, holding your body close to it. Warm and comforting. He laid back, and you couldnât help but admire him for a moment. The peace on his face, his languid posture as he stretched into the bank, his soft smile as he gazed at the stars. âLike you.â
Such words had never been used to describe you before. Pure and good. You sure as hells didnât believe him, but you laid back beside him anyway, blinking back tears as the weight of his words hit you. Your life had never been easy or simple, and the choices you made along the way were nothing but despicable in your eyes. But maybe nature understood in a way you didnât. It recognised your fight to survive, kicking and screaming though it may have been, and it respected that. Respected you. It was a feeling unlike anything else.
âHalsin?â He hummed in response, a tranquil murmur amongst the insect song that surrounded you. âHow do you do it? Hold the weight of all of nature on your shoulders?â
âMy heartâŠâ he muttered your nickname, wrought with an emotion you couldnât quite place. âI donât think Iâm the one holding nature, but it holds me. Gives me my powers, my strength. Helps me choose my path. And at the moment, it feels like itâs pushing me towards you. It recognises that you are the light that keeps me going, and I canât help but bow to that.â You only just realised your eyes had been closed in bliss, a soft smile spreading across your lips, and when you gently reopened them, you saw him. He was propped on one elbow, eyes scanning your face with admiration and care. His free hand reached out to your jaw, one thumb gently drawing circles across your jawline.
âNo-one has ever spoken to me with such reverence before.â You muttered, eyes meeting his. He sighed softly.
âWhen youâve lived as long as I have, you learn whatâs important. Who is important.â His lips curled into a gentle smile, leaning in close until your foreheads touched. His breath fanned across your lips, tantalisingly close, and your eyes fluttered shut as your hand found his hair, holding him close. âAnd you are incredibly important.â His whisper sent a cascade of chills up your spine, like waves lapping up the shore, and before you knew it, his lips were pressed to yours. They were featherlight at first, soft and gentle. A promise. But it wasnât long before it turned hungry. Feral.
His body shifted to hover above yours, caging you between him and the forest floor. Your hand drifted to his strong arms, gently running your nails up and down them as the kiss deepened, and he groaned softly into your mouth at the sensation. You shifted your legs, planning to wrap them around his waist, but his knee planted on the ground before you could, thigh pressing into your clothed core. You whined ever so softly, feeling his lips smile against yours as one of his hands drifted to your hip, squeezing, encouraging you to roll your hips against him. You obliged without a fleeting thought, the slight pressure delicious. His fingers dug into the soft flesh of your backside, biting, a vicelike hold of your body, keeping you as close as possible. His lips finally left yours, and you gasped in air, only just realising how breathless he had left you. He didnât seem phased though, his mouth latching onto your neck with a devout fervour you hadnât seen in him before.
âHalsinâŠâ You were surprised by how feeble your voice sounded, a quiet moan escaping as his hand guided your hips to drag up the firm expanse of his thigh. He practically growled against you, slight nip against the skin there causing you to gasp. âNeed to feel more of you.â
Your clothes were off before you could even register it, and his too, hands working deftly to leave you lying in the moss in no more than your underwear. His body pressed against yours, strong and warm, and you let your hands roam his back freely, dancing across the rippling muscle with a contented sigh. There was something emanating from him tonight, a desperation, a starvation, almost. You knew if you just let him, if you gave him the word, he would ruin you.
âControl is slippingâŠâ It was as though he could read your thoughts, and he muttered the words against your collarbone, briefly pausing from marking a trail of love bites and open-mouthed kisses down your chest. You could feel him pressing against your core, painfully hard, and his hips bucked against you with the admission, groan escaping from his throat. You knew this side of him; the animal, the natural. The predator. And you would gladly be his prey.
You rolled your hips against him, dragging yourself across his still clothed length, and the sound it drew from him was wanton and ragged. Dangerous. You reached behind your back, then down to your hips, quickly removing your remaining clothing and laying back for him as he followed suit, his cock springing free, hard and heavy.
âDonât hold backâŠâ You whispered as he returned to your touch, foreheads meeting as his breathing grew more erratic. His pupils were blown with pleasure - a sight that spurred you on more than anything else could have. You had barely even touched him yet, but he was already love drunk. âAll yours.â
The shift was palpable. All restraint snapped, the area around you becoming charged, as though nature itself was holding its breath with you.
âIf I startâŠâ His tone was gravelly and desperate, teeth and lips tracing down your body, catching on your nipple and you gasped as he bit down. Your hips bucked forward, trying desperately to find some relief. You hadnât realised how wet you were until your bare centre found his cock, and he rutted forward, teeth biting down harder as he sucked in a breath, the pleasure and pain so delicious you couldnât help but whimper.
âI donât want you to stop.â Your whisper was pathetic and needy, but it was enough. He sat back, but only for a moment to hook your legs up towards your chest and over his shoulders, hands returning to your hips with a bruising grip. You felt his thick length against your entrance, devastatingly hard, and before you could even prepare yourself for the intrusion, he had sheathed himself inside of you with a growl that reverberated through your body and the woodland around you. All air was knocked from you as you tried to adjust, inch upon aching inch filling you up as you squirmed against the mossy floor, but there was no respite, no escape from the stretch that stung and left a pathetic whine to die in your breathless lungs. Hells, youâd forgotten how big he was, and from this angle, he seemed somehow larger. A hand left your hips briefly to press against your lower stomach, and you moaned unabashedly as you realised you could feel him there, hitting that perfect spot deep inside you that left your eyes rolling into the back of your head. He ground down into you at the pathetic noise you make, his pelvis pressing into your clit and you should've been embarrassed by how close you were to your peak already, but you couldnât find it in yourself to care. It was too fucking good to even think.
âYou feel that?â He grumbled. âNobody else can claim you like this.â You nodded feebly, agreeing fully and you couldnât help but move your hands to his face, but he caught them, grabbing your wrists and pressing the above your head. You were completely at his mercy, and it was the only thing you wanted.
He didnât start slow or tender, but his thrusts were shallow, barely pulling back before bottoming out again, the pressure almost causing tears to prick at your eyes with ecstasy. Every rut sent another wave of pleasure coursing through you, your moans and whines becoming sloppy and desperate as you neared your peak at an alarming rate. He was looking at you like prey, something to be devoured whole and you played the part perfectly, spread open for him on a fucking platter. You tried to squirm, to slow down your ascent, but his hands were vicelike, not allowing an inch of wiggle room beyond the arching of your back, which only pressed you closer. You closed your eyes, whimpering uncontrollably, so close it hurt.
âEyes open.â He growled, and you followed his command instinctively, his hungry eyes scanning your face. âI need to see what I do to you.â Another thrust, and another - impossibly deep this time - and it was enough, pleasure crashing over you in waves as a moan ripped itself from your throat. You knew your eyes were open but you could only see stars, could only feel the blinding pleasure and biting pain as you rode out every last throe of bliss.
When you could finally see again, you realised heâd let you legs drop from his shoulders, loosely circling his waist as he continued to rut into you. It was too good, too deep, too hardâŠ
âPlease⊠Halsin⊠too muchâŠI needâŠâ He knew what you meant immediately. You didnât want him to stop, you just needed a different rhythm. He started taking longer strokes, pulling almost completely out of you before pressing deep. He released your hands and dropped almost parallel to you, most of his weight propped on his elbow beside your head, his mouth finding its way back to your chest, all teeth and tongue. You could feel the overstimulation fizzling away softly, crackling into the air as it was replaced with a gentle heat that began to pool in your lower stomach once, the new angle bringing a different type of pleasure and a different type of fullness, but no less addictive.
âGodsâŠâ the words were drawn from him, his pleasure evident from the way his hips were beginning to stutter, and his breathes were devolving into pants and groans, âyouâre so perfect like thisâŠâ A fire was building with in you, close to consuming you, and you whined, hands finding his back and hair and practically clawing, dragging him closer. Your nails down his back, his teeth on your skin, the grunt that resonated into your chest⊠there was nothing you could do to stop your second orgasm, even if you wanted to. Every nerve in your body was electric, powerful as the pleasure swallowed you, sucking him into you. Deeper than before as he joined you with a moan, his hips grinding into yours as he rode out the waves.
Your exhausted breaths filled the air around you both, charged with lust and desire and maybe something deeper. He scooped you up wordlessly, your body spent, standing and carrying you to the water. The cold was refreshing, and you sighed as he pulled you close, wading into the still reservoir to your chest. You allowed your head to slump over his shoulder, his hands spread, careful and strong, across the bottom of your thighs, weightless in his embrace. The water seemed to flow around you closer somehow, but it found no space to squeeze between you. You let your heartbeat align with his, a steady rhythm, as the moonlight bathed you in its beauty. Your fingers were still tangled in his hair, and you rubbed small circles across the back of his skull, a sigh of contentment escaping his lips.
âIâm glad you found me.â A beautiful admission, as close to love as you would likely get.
Iâve kind of run out of inspiration from TTPD song titles so figured Iâd start a new multifandom fic with a new album! Same as before, will add a brief description here but see content warnings and tags on each individual fic â€ïž
Howl
Reader/Tav x Halsin (BG3)
One shot, smut
While the rest of the camp are asleep, you and Halsin find some time to appreciate each other and the nature around you.
Hi guys!! Sorry I have not been posting much recently! I do want to start a baldurâs gate series though because I am obsessed and itâs becoming a problemâŠ
Anyway, what kind of fic would you want to see first? Let me know, and let me know what character you romance! Love yall x
Whose your favorite characters from the Date Everything game?
Ok ok so I know itâs a basic bitch answer but Dorian simply has to be my number 1 - as a British girly I will always flock to my own, plus when you realise him⊠đ«đ«đ«
But I adore Eddie and Volt and the Hanks as well (Hank #2 & 5 đ€€đ€€)!! Also Hector, I will always love a yearner. And Mac and Daisuke are both so hot and cool, as well as being hella freaky so canât say no! And one I donât see mentioned a lot is Diana - her character design is so gorgeous!
Bored at a gala, you find a distraction in the arms of a certain super soldier.
fem!reader, no use of y/n, smut, public-ish, oral, slutty as all hell, Bucky uses his strength for good :)
1.9k words
Still obsessed with Thunderbolts so hereâs a Congressman Bucky fic! Inspired by that scene where Bucky and Nat fight - iykyk. Enjoy x
TTPD Contents | General Masterlist | AO3
âYou doing ok up there, doll?â Bucky drawled, grinning between your thighs, and you could do little but mewl in response. You were draped over his shoulders, back against the door of the supply closet, your fingers tangled in his hair, desperate for something to hold onto. His arms were coiled beneath your legs, hands gripping your hips tightly as he held you still, breathless and whining, needing him to just fucking touch you already.
You werenât quite sure when this had started. A subtle look when he visited Congressman Garyâs office, a slightly flirty conversation, a touch on his arm. And then, you asked him out. You werenât entirely sure where you got the courage - maybe it was out of awkwardness, or maybe the tension got too much for you to bear. All you knew was you were standing alone in an elevator with him, and as soon as the doors closed, you blurted it out.
âHey, so I know youâre still kind of new to city, and I was wondering if I could maybe take you out to my favourite restaurant one night? Show you around a bit?â You felt like throwing up as soon as you finished saying it, whole face flushing a deep red colour. You werenât shy by any means, but something about him made your resolve crumble, feeling like a teenager with a dumb celebrity crush. He was the Winter Soldier, for fucks sake, of course he was intimidating, but if anything, that made you want him more. He seemed unattainable, and you resigned yourself to the fact he would say no anyway. Maybe that was why youâd said it.
ââYouâre new to the cityâ? Is that really the line youâre going with?â You huffed out a laugh involuntarily, nerves dispersing quickly. You glanced up to meet his eyes, playful and interested, a smirk dancing across his face. God, he was fucking gorgeous.
âAlright, what would you have said?â You teased back, and he smiled.
âI wouldâve just skipped the bullshit. âHey, I think youâre hot, wanna go on a date sometimeâ would do just fine.â
âAre you asking me, or telling me to ask you?â You raised an eyebrow, moving so you were facing him, back leaning on the elevator wall. He followed suit, eyes meeting yours with a cockiness you hadnât seen in him before. For the first time ever, you were glad the lift was so slow and the building was so tall - gave you plenty of time to gaze at him openly.
âDepends. Donât you think Iâm a little old for you?â You scoffed.
âI thought 70 years was a pretty normal age gap really.â You replied in cheek, wide smile not leaving your face.
âTry 80.â
âOh, now see that makes all the difference.â Your tone was dripping in sarcasm, and he laughed quietly, breaking eye contact with you for just a moment, before resuming it with a slightly serious look.
âOk, in that case⊠if you didnât already know, Iâm pretty new to the area, and I wouldâve appreciate if someone could show me around. Maybe if you came out to dinner with me one night, it might make this town feel more homely.â You laughed at his cheesy retort, but you were blushing again.
âI would love to.â
âTonight.â For the first time, his voice was completely serious, a look in his eyes like you were his prey, like he wanted to eat you alive. It was pretty fucking convincing.
âGot nothing better to do.â
And now you were here. Six foot in the air, fingers tangled in his hair, panties discarded somewhere on the floor.
You were glad when heâd grabbed your arm, pulling you into a blind spot at Valentinaâs boring Gala. Heâd pressed a quick kiss to your cheek, scanning to see if anyone was around before pulling you into the supply closet. You hadnât really made your relationship public. It was still relatively new, and you could tell he didnât really want Congressman Gary to know about it.
Your breath stopped as his head dipped, pressing a gentle kiss to your inner thigh. Then another. Then another, working slowly up to where you wanted him. He was teasing you, eyes dark as he lifted you slightly higher. You tried to tug on his hair lightly, to guide him between your thighs, but he tutted, the kiss he was planting on you turning into a love bite, causing you to gasp his name.
âYou canât rush me. Iâve been waiting to touch you all nightâŠâ he was gazing up at you darkly as he muttered the words, a serious, gravelly quality to his voice that made you completely boneless. âWatching you talk to other peopleâŠâ His statements were punctuated by kisses now, leaving it hard for you to focus. âWatching how many eyes were on you⊠you look so goddamn beautiful in that dress⊠I wanted to show them all you were mineâŠâ The last statement pulled a whimper from your throat, and you felt him smile against the soft flesh of your thigh.
Then, finally, he gave in. The warmth of him was the first thing that struck you, his hot tongue finding your clit was a precision born from the many nights youâd spent like this, his head between your legs. You felt yourself melt down into his arms, head falling back to the wall as you groaned, fingers tightening in his hair. You were reminded quickly how well he knew your body, his tongue expert in its movements, circling the perfect spot at a perfect pace. He was lapping you up like a man starved, groaning softly into you, the vibrations sending shockwaves through your body.
âJesus, BuckâŠâ you moaned softly, trying as hard as you could to muffle your voice but it was getting harder as the pleasure built quickly. You bit your lip to suppress it, but it didnât help, whines and whimpers falling from your lips like a prayer. You tried to move against him, your peak coming hard and fast, but he was unrelenting, hands gripping you tight and keeping you from moving. âFuckâŠâ Another moan fell from his mouth against you, muffled by your thighs, but you felt it all the same. And it wasnât long before you were coming undone on his tongue.
He waited until you had caught your breath before he set you down, legs jelly. His hands slid up to your hips again, pressing you to the door with a wide smile. His touch was intoxicating, your entire body moving to his command. You were putty under his hands, and you lived for it.
He kissed you gently, and you groaned when you realised you could taste yourself on his tongue.
âEnjoy it up there, doll?â He muttered into your mouth as you panted, kissing him again softly.
âMhm.â You hummed contentedly, a smile spreading across your face. He kissed you again, this time firm and strong, hand drifting from your waist to your cheek. He broke away, thumb taking the place of his lips to brush across your own, swollen and red.
âWe should go backâŠâ he muttered, eyes scanning your face darkly before settling on your own. You held his eye contact firmly. Defiant. You werenât ready to go back out there. You let a small smile curl your lips upwards, pupils tracing his body down slowly to the obvious tent in his trousers. You leant forwards against him, hands snaking into his hair and bringing your lips to his ear.
âOrâŠâ you whispered, âyou could fill me up in this closet before I go back to that shitty partyâŠâ Youâd barely finished your sentence before he was on you with nothing less than a growl in your ear, the sound reverberating through you as his hands found your dress, bunching it up around your thighs. Your hands tightened in his hair as his lips found your jaw, planting kisses to the delicate skin there as his hips pressed into your core, still unclothed from your earlier adventure on his shoulders. You whined at the gentle pressure, and at the realisation of how hard he was.
âFuck, baby, whatâre you doing to meâŠâ his quiet pleading was interrupted with a ringtone. Your ringtone. Bucky sighed against your chest, and you couldnât help but groan, breaking away from his addictive touch to find your clutch.
âItâs Gary..â you muttered when you eventually managed to pull your phone out, shooting him a text that you were in the restroom and asking where he was. âIâm sorry, Buck, I should go.â He sighed again, but smiled softly, striding over to where you were straightening yourself out and pressing a gentle kiss to your lips.
âThatâs ok, weâll finish this later.â You smiled into his lips.
âYeah?â
âYeah. Come to mine when youâre finished tonight. Iâm planning to escape this as soon as possible so Iâll be there.â
âSounds good. And in the meantimeâŠâ you scanned the floor, finding your intended target quickly and scooping them up. âYou can look after theseâŠâ Your hands found his chest, sliding across the broad expanse of it until you found the inside pocket of his suit blazing, careful tucking your panties into it.
âMhm, the most important mission Iâve ever receivedâŠâ he murmured, planting another kiss to your cupids bow.
You spent the rest of the evening sharing coy glances across the room, your eyes meeting his whenever you had the chance. You both gravitated towards the same conversations, the tension between you palpable but disguised well with politics and small talk. You noticed how he would position himself just within your line of sight, how his eyes would linger on you, how his fingers would brush against you when passing by. You saw him leave just as you found yourself trapped in an increasingly tedious conversation with another congressman about budget allocations, and you stopped listening, the knowledge that he was waiting for you enough to switch off your brain completely, responses blunt and automatic, counting the seconds until you could join him.
You escaped as soon as you could, and spent the rest of the night wrapped around him. He fell asleep before you - a new development, his sleep pattern starting to even out recently. He was still having nightmares, but you were just grateful he felt comfortable sleeping around you. Being vulnerable around you. You were used to the occasional broken night by now. Those darker moments, the bad dreams, the panic attacks, the early mornings spent coaxing him back to sleep were, strangely, something you cherished. Not that you wanted to see him like that, or that you liked having your sleep interrupted. But it was knowledge he trusted you enough to see those things made peaceful moments like this all the more special - his hand curled around your waist as he dozed, your head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat intently as though it were a perfectly curated symposium. It lulled you to slumber, the only thought in your mind the morning sex you would wake up to, and what youâd make for breakfast afterwards.
Two months after you and The New Avengers moved into the tower, you decide to stay home from a mission, exhaustion and stress catching up with you, figuring it would be good for you to catch up on sleep and spend time with Bob. But instead, a memory resurfaces, one that the Void dragged out of you, and youâre struggling to cope with the potential ramifications.
fem!reader, fluff, mentions of mental health, vague descriptions of trauma, general MCU/Thunderbolts* TWs, Thunderbolts* spoilers
4.1k words
Iâve been obsessed with Bob since I watched this movie, and apparently Avengers tower fics are coming back so had to give you guys my take on it. Part 2 will be coming guys donât worry - lmk if you want to be tagged. Am also taking requests so drop me an ask <3
TTPD Contents | General Masterlist | AO3
âIâm not coming.â You stated firmly, arms crossed in the lobby of the New Avengers tower, scowl set into your face. Bucky sighed your name dramatically, mechanical fingers pinching the bridge of his nose in obvious frustration.
âValentina saidâŠâ He started.
âI don't give a fuck what Valentina said. What happened to us owning her?â
âWe do, but itâs still not good for our image ifâŠâ You cut him off again, voice cold and unyielding.
âGood thing I don't give a fuck about that either.â He sighed again, louder, looking towards the rest of the team for help, but they just shrugged.
âIf she doesn't want to come, she doesn't have to come.â Yelena added, tone nonchalant. You nodded along with her, softening your voice slightly now. You didn't actually want to piss him off; you just wanted him to see your point of view.
âItâs just a publicity stunt, Buck. You don't actually need me for it. Iâm tired and I want a break. Now is as good a time as any.â A third sigh. A hand running through his hair. A glance at the ceiling, then back to you.
âFine, stay here. Bob could probably use the company anyway.â
You had been in this tower for two months now, and somehow, you and Bucky had clashed the most. Sure, Walker pissed everyone off most of the time, but he was an easy target to wind up so he had learnt to keep his mouth shut. And Alexei was loud and obnoxious, but his booming laugh and positive spirit redeemed most of his irritating qualities. You got on well with Ava and Yelena - your senses of humour and tortured pasts making an easy bond between the three of you. And Bob⊠well, you honestly had nothing bad to say about him. He was a calming presence, a breath of fresh air in a tower of tactically trained agents and super soldiers. You knew what he was capable of - you all saw it that day - but he never let it define him. It was a footnote in his character, undetectable until you read too closely. And he was as traumatised as the rest of you, if not more, but it was such a human trauma, more relatable and tangible, and it was something the two of you shared that made your bond just that little bit closer than with the others.
Your relationship with Bucky was a different story though. You had no history with your other teammates, so beside the run of the mill teasing and domestic debates that came with regular roommates, there was no animosity there. But Bucky on the other handâŠ
In all fairness, you had been created to kill him. You went through everything he did: the serum, the torture, the pain, but you didn't remember any of it. You remember the missions, you remember trying to eliminate him, you remember who you were before you were taken⊠but not the process you went through. The last thing you remember before was being shoved into a van, bag over your head, and the first thing after was waking up in a cell, all autonomy lost. Nothing more than a weapon. So while you had a mutual respect and admiration for each other, you had fought to the near death more times than you could count, and anger like that doesn't fade overnight. You had no malice towards him, obviously, but you could tell he harboured resentment for you, simmering quietly below the surface. What you couldn't tell was if it was because you tried to kill him so many times, or because they had the decency to wipe your memory of the pain you endured. And you knew from the screams that echoed through the wall of your adjoining bedrooms that it was a kind of pain that still brought him nightmares.
So usually, you humoured him. You went on every mission - publicity stunt or real. You sat through the interviews, the photoshoots, the promotional bullshit. You worked twice as hard as everybody else to get in his good graces, even though you didn't care about the publicity of it all. You were just happy to be doing good.
But you were burnt out. You had always had a darkness within you, one that snarled at the sidelines, waiting for your guard to drop. So, to a point, keeping busy kept it at bay. Until it didn't.
The last time youâd seen that darkness was two months ago in The Void. Reminding you it was still there, that it always would be. Bob had seen it too, when the blast of the incinerator knocked you out and his hand had knocked into yours. The memory that had emerged, tinged in the familiar greyscale, the colour that swirled around all of your bad days. The glimpse of the hospital gown, the monitors beeping, the nurses bustling around the room. The fear you had felt.
Heâd asked you about that darkness soon after, how you dealt with it. You weren't sure how to tell him you didn't. Instead, you made sure he got out of the facility, that he was safe. And then, one thing led to another, and half of New York was a black void, swallowed whole. A Void that stemmed from him. A Void that you stepped into not knowing if youâd live or die. And it was there that you saw something new.
âYou good?â Ava asked subtly as she finished suiting up, snapping you out of your thoughts.
âYeah,â you breathed the word automatically, running a hand through your hair in an attempt to hide the fact it was shaking. âTired.â
âYou look it.â She replied, soft smile playing across her lips before she placed the mask over her face.
âThanks.â You responded, laughing dryly. It was how she showed affection - gentle teasing. âGood luck.â They all headed for the elevator, and you stepped back, pulling the arms of your sweatshirt down and over your hands.
âBye guys!â Bob shouted from the kitchen over the sound of running water, and Yelena called back in kind.
And with that, they were gone.
You knew it would only be three days until they were back, but you could feel their absence immediately.
You couldn't quite tell if that was a good or bad thing.
You strolled into the kitchen, a yawn escaping from your throat. You were still wearing what youâd slept in - tattered black sweatshirt and joggers, hanging loose around your form. Bob was standing at the kitchen sink, washing the mugs and glasses the team had used this morning at breakfast. His clothes were similar to your own: light blue sweatshirt and grey sweats that had become his uniform at the compound. His hair was starting to get long, dyed back to his usual brown basically the minute you all moved into this place. He glanced back at you, smiling warmly as he switched the water off, placing the last cup on the drying rack. There was something about him that was so comforting, a quiet strength that emanated from him even when he was just standing there. Not a confidence, not by any means, his shyness endearing as it was. It was the strength of an oath. In every movement or lack thereof, every glance that met your eyes, he was showing solidarity, subtle and unbreakable. A promise that he wasn't going anywhere as long as you werenât. It was a stability you weren't used to.
âHey.â Your heart fluttered slightly at the tender way he said it, involuntary smile dancing across your lips, half-hearted as it was. He knew better than to ask if you were alright, the exhaustion and emptiness in your eyes familiar to him in both your memories and his own. âAnything you want to do while theyâre gone?â
âI think I want to go back to bed for a bit.â You sounded so broken it surprised you, but if he noticed, he didn't show it. A soft, barely there laugh escaping his lips.
âSounds like a good plan. Dâya want me to wake you at any point or just let you sleep?â Your heart hurt at his consideration.
âIf Iâm not up by midday just knock on the door. And wake me if you need anything.â
âYou got it.â He called as you walked away, back to your room, and you wished you had the energy to stay. Having breakfast with him was a luxury you weren't often afforded. If only you had the energy to make the most of it.
You closed the door behind you, darkness filling the room instantly, blinds still drawn. You found the bed, collapsing in a heap. You were surprised how quickly you started to drift, the exhaustion catching up to you so fast, and after a few breaths, your vision faded.
A slap stung across your face, harsh and sobering. You staggered back with the force of it, blinking rapidly.
âDo better.â The man in front of you muttered, shaking out his hands and reassuming a fighting stance. You could taste blood in your mouth, but you did the same anyway.
What alarmed you most was that you didn't recognise him.
There was a mask covering half his face, but even his eyes didn't hold even a glint of familiarity. Before you had time to dwell on that though, his fist was moving towards you. You ducked, landing a neat blow to his side before rolling forwards, standing up behind him and planting a firm kick to the back of his knee. It took him by surprise, the joint buckling beneath the force, but as you rounded to kick him in the neck, he caught your ankle, pulling you forwards until you were essentially straddling his shoulder, leg still firmly in his vice-like grip. You raised your arm, trying to make the best of a bad situation by elbowing him in the head, but he was faster, slamming you to the floor. You were struggling for breath and scrabbling for purchase, trying to get back at him, but he was on top of you before you could even flinch, knees on your wrists, entire bodyweight locking you in place. The pain was biting, but the panic and fear was debilitating, any part of your body you could move thrashing around helplessly. He chuckled darkly, the tone of it making your blood run cold. He leant down, inches from your face, and you waited until he was close enough before jerking your head forwards. The crack you heard was satisfying, and you couldnât help but grin.
âYou bitchâŠâ the man spat beneath the mask, pulling the fabric below his nose and letting the blood drip onto your face. âYouâre lucky Iâm under orders. There are worse things I can do than kill you when I have you like thisâŠâ Your heart stopped at the weight of his words, the implications not missing you. âBut for now, you failed. And you know what that meansâŠâ You didnât, but your body screamed anyway, a bloodcurdling noise rushing from your throat before you could stop it.
âHey, hey itâs okâŠâ Strong hands were shaking you awake, and you flinched instinctively, pulling away and scrabbling backwards until you had pressed yourself into the headboard, tucking your limbs into your body to be as small as possible. âItâs me, itâs Bob. Youâre ok.â You looked up, body stiff and sore, to see him gingerly perched on the edge of your bed, concern etched into his features. You slowly started to notice the rest of your surroundings. Your bed, completely dishevelled, sheets still twisted around your shins and ankles. Your face felt wet, and when you brought your hand up to your cheeks, there were tears there. You finally let out a breath, shaky, laughing to yourself in disbelief.
âSorry, IâŠâ You ran your hands through your hair, messy and tangled. âWas IâŠâ
âScreaming a lot, yeah.â You took another shaky breath, stretching out your legs a little. You couldnât quite bring yourself to meet his eyes, but you felt the bed move slightly as he shuffled closer. âAre you ok? You seem really⊠detached at the moment, like you have something in your mind. And not going on the mission, the nightmaresâŠâ You felt the tears welling up as he spoke, the weight of everything hitting you suddenly, and before you knew it, you were sobbing. Bob closed the gap in an instant, sighing your name gently as his arms wrapped around you. You welcomed him without even thinking, hands gripping his sweatshirt in fists, face pressed to his chest.
âItâs gonna be ok. Iâve got youâŠâ
It took a long while for your breathing to slow, and as the tears finally stopped, you released your grip. You wanted to apologise, but the sound stuck in your throat. You wanted to explain, but the idea of even speaking that dream into existence made you want to cry again. So you just wiped your tears.
âWanna talk?â He murmured, voice calm and soothing. You noticed he hadnât completely let go of you, hand still resting lightly on your shoulder, the warmth radiating from it grounding you back to reality.
âNo. I..â you swallowed back another sob, taking a deep breath. âIâm sorry about all of this, Bob. Itâs just..â
âYou donât need to apologise. Itâs all good. We all have bad days, at least yours didnât nearly wipe out half of New York.â You couldnât help but laugh at his self-deprecating joke, a harsh expulsion of air that almost ended in a snort. You finally allowed yourself to look up at him, satisfied you wouldnât start crying again, but you were met with his bright blue eyes scanning your face, full to the brim of worry. It made your heart lurch. You hadnât seen him like this since you told him what had happened in his blackout that day, and now he was pulling the same face because you had a breakdown. Great, the screaming must have been really bad, then. Good thing you didnât have neighbours.
âIâm ok, Iâm good now. Thank you.â You choked the words out, barely believing them yourself. His eyes met yours again, and his scepticism was immediately evident.
âBullshit. Just lay back downâŠâ he started to shuffle back as he spoke, moving to stand. âIâll go and make you a cup of tea andâŠâ
âNo.â You said it so fiercely it surprised you, fear clouding your mind. You took a breath, and softened your tone. âI mean, can you stay please? Just for a bit, until I get my breath back.â
âOf course.â His response was so fast it was almost automatic, shuffling back to the head of the bed and resting gingerly against the headboard. âAs long as you need.â You curled back up next to him, close enough to feel his presence, but not quite touching. A silence fell across the room, but it was a peaceful silence, one born of comfort and familiarity.
âThank you.â You breathed the words, as though to not break the calm.
âAlways.â You squeezed your eyes closed, ignoring what you had just seen in your dream and instead, visualised him. You could hear his breaths, slow and shallow, as though he was afraid of spooking you. You pretended he wasnât still worried, instead imagining the smile you knew all too well, the one that showed teeth and reached his eyes, the purest joy you had ever seen.
You were reminded of a night a few weeks ago, when you realised how few movies the rest of the team had seen.
âYouâre telling me none of you have ever seen The Princess Bride?â Yelena shook her head, and Alexei chimed in.
âNope. Never showed Lena that when she was little.â She groaned like an embarrassed teenager.
âOk, we need to start a movie night at least weekly and educate all of youâŠâ You said, a smile lighting up your face when Bob laughed beside you. âAnd letâs start with thisâŠâ
It was only twenty minutes in when Walker started complaining.
âBut why is he saying âas you wishâ so much?â
âGuess we know why youâre divorcedâŠâ Ava snapped back, and everyone snorted at his expense.
âSeparated, but whateverâŠâ he muttered, put out, and you and Bob giggled. You were squeezed between him and Alexei on the sofa, and instinctively, you leant towards Bob as you laughed. His arm was on the back of the sofa, and without realising, you had leant into the crook of his arm. So you stayed there. As you continued to watch the film, as everyone else made dumb jokes and stupid comments, but nothing else was relevant to you but his proximity. His presence drowned everything out. And as you curled into his body, you could feel his heartbeat. Slow and steady. Stable. Him.
Everyone else went to bed as soon as the film finished. You moved away from him slightly as the lights came on, cautious of prying eyes, but he didnât move. Arm of the back of the couch, eyes fixed only on you.
âAny other films you want to show me?â You grinned widely.
âA lot.â
You decided on the Goonies - your favourite film as a kid - figuring Bob wouldnât have seen it when he was younger considering his home life. And you were right.
You felt a wave of nostalgia rush over you as you started the film. You sat back down on the couch, back up against the arm where Alexei had been sat, the seat still warm. You stretched your legs out into the space between you and where he sat facing forwards, his own legs on the coffee table. You didnât want to move away from him really, but you wanted to see his reaction to the film, to see him watch something fun and childish for the first time, to see if it brought him as much joy as it brought you. And it did. He smiled more than youâd ever seen, and you were trying to be subtle about looking at him, but occasionally, you couldnât help but gaze at him openly when you felt he was distracted enough. The line of his jaw, his dimples when he laughed, the curl of his hair that framed his face and was starting to fall into his eyes. His eyes, a deep, piercing blue that you could lose yourself in. That were looking right at you.
Oh shit.
You blushed, turning back to the movie, but you could feel his eyes on you.
âWhat is it?â He muttered, tone playful, and you glanced back, smiling shyly.
âNothing, I⊠umâŠâ he was holding eye contact with you, earnest expression on his face, and it was just making you blush more. You turned back to the screen. âItâs just really nice to see you happy. You know, after everything.â You cleared your throat slightly, awkward now.
âItâs thanks to you, really.â He sounded so sincere you couldâve cried.
âOh, no I just put on a movie I used to like in the hopes thatâŠâ
âNo.â He interrupted you softly. âNot just the movies. Itâs everything. Itâs the late night chats when we canât sleep, itâs doing the dishes together while the team argue at the table, itâs making sure about 50 times before you leave for a mission that Iâll be ok on my own for a few days, and that Iâll text if I need you.â You forced yourself to look at him again, tearing up, but now he was the one looking away, features wrought with an emotion you couldnât quite place. âI mean, hell, according to the rest of the team you were the one who stepped into the Void for me not knowing if youâd even survive. You went into that hellhole, and from what I saw it canât have been easyâŠâ Oh. Your blood ran cold at the mere mention of it, muscles stiffening, and the tears that had started to fall from something akin to appreciation were now streaming in panic. Blood rushed between your ears, vision blurring, and his voice was swallowed into the pit that was your anxiety. A dark chamber. A voice telling you to bite down. Something tasting disgusting in your mouth. And then pain. So much pain.
âHey, whatâs happening?â He muttered, and you were back in the room, legs tucked to your chest, Bobâs concerned face scanning you from the other side of the couch. âAre you ok? Did I say something?â
âNo, no, sorry Bob, IâŠâ You wiped your tears, trying desperately to get your breath back, heart still racing. Your vulnerability took hold, head spinning as you tried to dispel the new memories. âI just⊠I remembered something when you mentioned the Void. I thought Iâd buried it but apparently not.â You tried to laugh, but it came out slightly choked.
âIâm sorry, I..â
âHey, no youâre fine. Thank you for saying that, it means a lot.â You smiled at him warmly, trying to convey how much his words had meant to you, but you werenât sure how convincing it was, panic still coursing through you. âDo you want a drink? I really fancy a Diet Coke right now..â He paused, scanning your features for signs of distress but you put on your best brave face, and it seemed to do the trick. He sighed.
âYeah sure, just a lemonade please if you donât mind. If I have caffeine now I wonât sleepâŠâ
You took a few seconds in the kitchen to compose yourself, before returning with the drinks, setting them on the coffee table. His attention was back on the film, smiling again, and you couldnât help but feel bad. Your panic attack had ruined his beautiful sentiment, the kindest words ever spoken to you. You sat closer to him again, where you had been before, but crossing your legs on the sofa this time so your knee touched his just slightly. You couldnât help but smile as his leg shuffled closer to yours, almost imperceptible, but you felt it. How could you not?
âThank you.â You spoke it quietly, not wanting to disturb the peace. âI really do mean it.â
âI know.â
You were just over halfway done with the film when you felt your eyelids starting to droop. After your head rolled forwards a few times, drifting off, Bob spoke up.
âWe can finish this tomorrow if youâre tired?â He was being genuine, but you knew from his intonation that he wanted to keep watching.
âNo, no, Iâm fine..â A lie, your words slurring ever so slightly with tiredness. âLet me justâŠâ You sunk down further on the couch, tucking your legs up to your side and letting your head fall to his shoulder. âThatâs better.â
âYouâll still fall forwards if you doze off again.â He muttered, tone imperceptible now, almost a forced calm. You took it for annoyance though, blushing as you realised what youâd just done.
âOh sorry, I can lay that way and thenâŠâ You started to lift your head before he interrupted.
âNo, no, just let me...â He shuffled forwards slightly so he was closer to being horizontal, opening his arm so you could lay comfortably on his chest. âThere, that would be more comfortable in case you do fall asleep.â
âI wonât.â You muttered petulantly, lying in the space he had created for you anyway. He laughed, a warm, intoxicating sound that bloomed from his chest, and his arm rested on top of yours. It was comforting, a surety that made you feel drowsy again. Safe to sleep around him. Secure.
âSure you wonât.â
You woke in the darkness of your room to find yourself curled into his body tightly, arm draped across his stomach and head resting on his chest. His arm was wrapped tightly around you, protective, warm hand splayed across your ribcage. The sound of his gentle snores brought you out of the memory, grateful that his presence allowed your subconscious to lull you to sleep with pleasant memories. That you didnât need to be on edge, that you wouldnât need to fight for a few hours at least. That he was holding onto you, and everything was going to be ok.
Hi guys!! Sorry been MIA for a hot minute (feel like all my recent posts have started like this lol) but watched thunderbolts over the weekend and my Marvel obsession is back and swinging dear lord. Anyway I have a bunch of fic ideas and fics on the go at the moment so wanted to see what people might want / what I should prioritise while Iâm feeling productive lol:
What do the people want??
Another chapter of Ultraviolence (Joel Miller)
Bob x Reader tower long one shot (thunderbolts*/new avengers fic)
Congressman Bucky Barnes x Reader smut
Secret fourth option (so secret author doesnât even know yet)
Voting ended onMay 9, 2025
And please send any suggestions and requests for Thunderbolts* fics! If I get enough tempted to just do a Drabble series/domestic scenes from the tower, idk Iâm just so excited about the film lol. This poll is slightly pointless because I will in fact be writing all of these at some point itâs just which one to prioritise!
Road trip, no outbreak AU, old Americana aesthetic, drabbles and minifics
Part of the Ultraviolence series
Hi all, finally posted part one of this fic - figured weâd all need a bit of comfort as the next season starts! Hope you enjoy and let me know if you want to be tagged in future chapters <3
The sun was beaming through the windows of his truck, the dust filtering it into a soft haze, bathing you both in golden light. Your boot clad feet rested on the dash, allowing you to stretch out in the already spacious body. His air con was faulty at best, entirely useless at worst, and definitely no match for the Texan sun, so you rolled down your window, allowing the dry scent of summer in the desert to wash over you. The humidity would be suffocating if you were stationary, but as you sped along the dirt roads, the breeze was cooling. And this way, the sun could dance across your bare legs, as strong and unyielding as the man driving the truck.
Youâd left later than Joel had wanted, the bed too comfortable for you to be stirred. He packed the truck in your absence, grateful for your clumsily crammed hold-all from the night before so he could let you sleep longer. Heâd done the grocery shop the day before, the necessary basics for a few weeks on the road, and all of his usual gear was loaded up. You never asked if heâd forgotten anything, or if he needed help - he always had it covered. It was a refreshing change. You were used to mothering people in your life, always being responsible, but now, you could be a complete airhead. And he grumbled and pretended he was annoyed you were setting off late, he played grumpy and quiet, but he was grateful for the few minutes he got to watch you sleep, the slices of warmth through the blinds that painted your peaceful face and hair. He was grateful he got to wake you up gently and tell you everything was ready, watch your lips turn up softly as your eyes blinked open and scanned his face as though it were the first time seeing it, full of wonder. He was grateful he got to tell you to just put on something pretty and then you could leave, watching as you crawled out of bed, stretching and picking the little red sundress you knew he loved.
The same sundress that was slowly riding up your thighs now as you sat in his truck, sipping the coffee heâd made you this morning, still warm from the flask. The red and white gingham almost looked like it was floating as the breeze toyed with the hem, hair whipping around your face. Your Fleetwood Mac CD was lulling you into tranquility, a peace settling over you as Joel tapped the steering wheel to the rhythm.
You werenât thinking about tomorrow. Or the day after. Or the weeks following. Joel had planned your route, crudely sketched across the road map in red marker. You just hoped he didnât ask you to read it too often. You knew the vague plan - down to Houston and the beaches in Southern Texas, then back up to Amarillo before following Route 66 out to Santa Monica and back home. It didnât matter to you where you went; you could drive in circles for weeks for all you cared. As long as you were with him.
He had a presence of calm that was inescapable; his low southern drawl and honeyed eyes always left you boneless. He was generally quiet - something that took a while to get used to in the first few months of dating. You were an overthinker, and silence to you had always meant distance. You would worry that he was mad at you, that he was unengaged, but he quickly proved it wrong in his actions. He was unwaveringly there for you, always listening and keeping note of any key characteristics about you that he could. As soon as you mentioned your favourite flower, that was all he bought. You never had to tell him twice how to make your coffee, or what your favourite music was. He would have it ready in the mornings, and at night, he would be cooking dinner humming your favourite tune. There were never reminders given for birthdays or anniversaries; perfectly selected dinners and gifts were always booked and bought. And somehow, this had lead to your first argument. Youâd started it, coming from a place of feeling unworthy of his attentiveness and care. He didnât deserve it.
You glanced over at him, hands rested lazily on the wheel, eyes on the road. You loved seeing him like this. In his element. Relaxed. The midday Texan sun made him glow, basking him in orange. He told you a few weeks ago that he was considering dying his hair as the greys were starting to peek through, but you talked him out of it, loving the way the soft salt and pepper flecks accentuated his features. You could follow his face like a map, each landmark so familiar to you. The deep brown of his eyes, the arch of his nose, the crows feet that fanned across his temples.
His voice snapped you out of your trance, softly separating the silence.
âWhat are you looking at, baby?â His smile shone through in his tone, glancing over at you.
âJust youâŠâ you responded, looking back through the open window with a smile, âI like seeing you happy.â He scoffed.
âItâs easy to make me happy. Being âround you is enough.â You settled further into your seat, cheesy smile widening.
You made it to your motel late in the evening. Your day had been long, a few stops for food and sightseeing along the way, and you couldnât wait to get somewhere with a comfy bed. You showered almost immediately, needing to wash the Texan heat from your body. Joel followed suit, and you settled in the double bed to the sound of water running. The room was nicer than you had expected; dated decor but clean and spacious. The bed was a little small, but that didnât bother you. Youâd spend most of the night wrapped around him.
The movement of the mattress underneath you roused you from your sleep. You sighed, settling further into the covers as Joel shuffled in beside you. You hummed and rolled over, sliding your arm across him, head resting on his shoulder.
âDidnât mean to wake ya.â Joel muttered, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead.
âThatâs ok, I only dozed off a little.â His hand found its way to your hair, gently running through it, lazily drawing patterns across your scalp. He was silent for a beat, and you just listened to his breaths, his chest rising and falling, lulling you back to slumber.
âIâm glad weâre doing this, baby.â He said it quietly, barely audible, but you caught it, the sentiment making you smile.
âMe too.â
Ultraviolence Contents | Next chapter
Because youâre young, youâre wild, youâre free. Youâre dancing circles around me. Youâre fucking crazy.
Starting a new series of Joel minifics/drabbles, will be a bit of fluff, a bit of angst, a bit of smut⊠just little snippets of a cross country road trip with Joel if the outbreak never happened! Comment if you want to be put on the tag list, and will link future chapters here as well!
I need you to understand that when I say "comments are appreciated!" I mean that I will reply to every one of them. I mean that an email with an ao3 notification has a higher priority than a message from my mother. I mean that I will have entire discussions in the comment section if you're up for it. Message me on tumblr and I will have the same discussions on an even more unhinged level. I will dissect entire personalities and ships and fictional political structures and worldbuilding with you. I will become your new best friend. You already ARE my new best friend. At the last battle, I would raise Anduril and say "For my ao3 readers" while a single tears rolls down my cheek, and dive into the fray. I would upload from beyond the grave if someone asked about the next chapter
Heyo, I followed you from your AO3 account and I gotta say. You've charmed me with your writing, absolutely amazing works!!!! I found myself reading all of your works, including fandoms I'm not in! Thank you for posting the gift of your creativity! Keep up the good work
đ„čđ„čđ„č I love you wonderful stranger whoever you are!! Sorry I havenât posted in a while, but comments like this motivate me so much! Let me know what fandoms yall want to see more of, and Iâll try my best to post more â€ïžâ€ïž
One of the coolest parts about being a fan of fanfic is you can actually contact the author. And they will respond. And then you can message them nonstop until they allow you into their lives and then youâre becoming their beta reader and suddenly you know multiple authors of all types of fiction books and fanfic authors who will drag out their deleted fics for you to read at a moments notice.
Anyway. Comment on fics and message authors. Itâs absolutely worth it.
Erik Lehnsherr x Reader x Charles Xavier
After joining the First Class of Professor Xâs school with your brother Hank, you realised you have a connection with two of the mutants there, and that they might also have a connection to each otherâŠ
fem!reader, M/F/M, 18+ MDNI
6.2k words
EDIT: I'm super proud of this one, maybe my favourite thing I've written! Thanks for all the love on it so far <3
TTPD Contents | General Masterlist | AO3
âItâs not going to happen, Charles.â You muttered, frustrated, putting all of your energy into stopping him from walking towards you, but only managing to stop his hand.
âYou need to go to that place betweenâŠâ He started to explain.
âAnger and serenity, I know, I know. Iâm not Erik, its not working.â He sighed, moving his hand to his forehead.
âMay I?â
âSure, go ahead.â There was nothing he would see in there that he hadnât before.
You realised early in your friendship that there wasnât a lot of point hiding anything from him. You were never sure when he was reading your thoughts, only when he spoke to you without moving his lips, or when he would find a memory like he was doing now. You saw a few flash through your mind, recent ones. The relief when Hank had told you that there were others like you and him. The anger when Shaw had killed Darwin in front of your eyes just a few days ago. The moment your mother found out there was something different about Hank, and kicked him out, so you followed him. Your brotherâs mutation was significantly more obvious than yourâs, but you left with him regardless. He had always been more than family; he was your best friend, your true and sole confidant, your lifeline. Following your train of thought, Charles managed to find a memory synonymous to that - the day you found out about his mutation. The way he cried and broke down, explained the science to you to try and ensure you understood it, but you didnât need him to. You whispered his name softly, and told him to wave at you. The perplexed look on his face, but you insisted so he did. Then you stopped his hand dead in its tracks. The shock and relief on his face, the hug you shared, the tears you both shed. It was a joyous memory, peaceful.
You wiped a tear from the corner of your eye and Charles did the same, releasing you from the memory and now you were back in the bunker underneath his familyâs house, watching as he nodded to you.
âNow try again.â He moved to the other side of the bunker again, and you concentrated hard, reaching your hand out towards him and trying to stop his slow walk towards you. You were technically telekinetic, but only when the other object was moving. The lighter the object, and the faster it was moving, the easier it was to control. And generally, you would just have been able to stop it. You knew that you could move things as well once you had control over them - you had done it once, the day you had gotten your powers, but never since. And if it took that level of trauma to do it again, you hoped you never would.
âYouâre moving too slowly!â You exclaimed, huffing in frustration.
âOk, ok fine. Maybe we need to stop thinking of your powers as telekinesis.â You frowned, confused. Controlling objects was telekinesis. âJust trust me here for a momentâŠâ Of course I trust you, you saved my life and continue to daily. âClose your eyes.â You took a deep breath, closing your eyes tightly. His voice appeared in your head, a soft whisper that immediately put you at ease.
Telekinesis is about creating movement, but you can manipulate movement. And do that, you need to be able to sense the movement around you. I canât manipulate or read someones mind without being able to sense it, even if I can see the person. It might be the same with you. Iâm standing still but Iâm going to move soon - keep your eyes closed and see if you can sense me.
You focussed, reaching out into the black space and it took a few seconds, but you could feel him moving. Slowly, his image formed in your mind. You could see the way he was moving: the large, over dramatic steps he was taking, the emphatic hand wave, and you smiled. You reached out to him with even more concentration, but you surprised yourself with how easy it was to stop him in his tracks, cementing his feet to the floor so he almost fell over.
âHoly shit, Charles, youâre a genius.â You opened your eyes, releasing him and seeing the grin that had spread across his face. It was contagious, your own smile growing.
âI know I know, but weâre not done yet, you have a lot more in youâŠâ He was pacing, thinking, and high on the adrenaline, you reached out to stop him, to play with your powers, only to find⊠you couldnât. You couldnât sense his movement. You could see him, but there was nothing else.
âI canâtâŠâ you muttered, continuing to try as hard as you could, but nothing. He frowned, and you heard his voice softly inside your head.
Close your eyes again.
You did, and sure enough, there he was, his movement growing clearer in your mind by the second. You opened your eyes, and it was gone, the tangibility somehow lost when you could actually see him.
âOk, ok, letâs try thisâŠâ He looked around for something, then settled on his tie, pulling it from his collar in a swift motion and striding over to you, making you blush. âWe can use this as a blindfold?â He asked, and you nodded, allowing him to press the soft fabric across your closed eyes, the world going black as he tied it in a gentle knot. The difference was instant. It was as though you could physically see him still, a soft, golden glow outlining his body and his movements. Every single detail was highlighted to you.
âTry standing still?â He did, stopping dead in his tracks, but you could still see him - every miniscule shiver across his skin, the rising and falling of his chest with his breaths, the slight tremble in his fingers. âCharlesâŠâ you muttered, âI can see everything.â
âWhat do you mean everything?â
âLook for yourself.â You watched as he raised his hand to his temple, and you saw the subtle changes in his face as it shifted from confused to shocked, a grin spreading.
âThatâs incredible. Is it easier to stop movement now as well?â You smiled, instantly halting his arm in the air as he tried to return it to his side. He laughed aloud. âYouâre amazing.â
âI know.â You shrugged, letting him go, hands reaching up to remove your makeshift blindfold when you felt something move across the room. Without thinking, you reached back towards it, spinning around just in time to see the door you just felt opening slam shut.
âWhat the fuck?â You heard an annoyed voice from the other side of the closed door, and you laughed in disbelief. Youâd done it.
âOh my God, did you see that?â You span back to Charles, smiling uncontrollably.
âYes I did, my dear. Yes I did.â You squealed with joy, running over to give him a hug, which he readily returned. You still had your blindfold on, and you could feel his heart beating when you were this close, even the blood rushing through his veins.
âThank you.â You whispered in his ear, and he moved back, holding your head in his hands.
âThis was all you.â The moment was broken, though, by the door opening again, although slightly cautiously this time. It was Erik - you could see it was him by his movements, and the shape of his body.
âDid you just close the door on me? And why are you blindfolded?â He paused, confusion etched across his face, followed by an almost knowing smirk. âAm I interrupting something?â
âJesus, noâŠâ Charles piped up quickly, heart rate skyrocketing as he moved across the room to Erik, putting distance between you and him. âWeâve found a way toâŠâ
âI closed the door with my power!â You interrupted, excited, but he did not have the same reaction as Charles did. He actually had no reaction at all.
âSo⊠you can, what, control your power better when youâre blindfolded?â You nodded.
He cocked his head, then he stretched out his arm, and you presumed it was to see if you were telling the truth, but before you could open your mouth to tell him heâd moved, you felt something moving quickly towards you. It was your keys, and you stopped them in midair, before pulling them safely into your hand.
âHey, that couldâve taken my eye out!â He just laughed.
âThereâs a lot more where that came from.â
You often wondered about how your life would have turned out without this place. You hadnât exactly been here long, but it had already transformed you into someone better, more powerful, more in control. You spent the day with Charles and Erik, getting to grips with your newfound power, figuring out how to use it fully, and that you should keep things on you that you could throw and move to your advantage in the field like Erik did. You felt like you could actually be helpful to them now. And only just in time. Tomorrow was going to be a big day.
You finally got back to your room, laying down almost straight away, your feet aching from the long day. It was a beautiful house, and you would always be grateful to Charles for allowing you to stay, even if it only ended up being for a short while. You didnât have anywhere else to go, after all.
You closed your eyes, grabbing the small, metal orbs Erik had given you from your pocket, and throwing them in the air, grabbing them with your power as they visualised. You smiled, remembering just a few hours ago when he gave them to you. The way your hands had grazed, his gaze as intense as it always was. The way he had encouraged you as you practiced, and been harsh when you made a mistake.
You had to be careful with your thoughts when you were around Charles. Guarded. There were a lot of things you thought about that you never wanted him to know.
He was one of those things. Erik was the other.
You couldnât help it; they were both so attractive in different ways. Charles was soft and kind, a smile that could warm you from the inside out and a charm that could make you do anything he asked, no mutation needed. Erik was the opposite, harsh and damaged, cold in his mannerisms, but there was a concern to him that he tried to hide. He always failed, doing everything and more to protect the mutants around him. To fight for them. And to make sure you fought for them too.
âThat wasnât good enough.â You remember a moment from your day when he nearly shouted, frustrated that you had only stopped a flying chunk of metal he had flung at you rather than moving it as well.
âIâm not used to this, Erik.â
âSo? We all had to learn to control our powers quick, you arenât special.â You huffed, clenching your fists as Charles let out a soft, warning whisper of his name, but he carried on. âYou can do more than that. I donât care when or how you got your powers, but even if you got them yesterday, you would be doing a hell of a lot better than you are right now.â While he was talking, you were steadily getting angrier, and halfway through a sentence you noticed a new piece of metal hurtling towards you. You flicked it away without any effort, hearing it smash against the wall and falling to the ground, noticing that the white hot rage had sharpened your vision. He continued to throw more and more object at you, and you continued to retaliate, not realising you were moving towards him until he started to move backwards. He reached the wall, and threw a knife in a last ditch effort. Charles cried out in warning, but you didnât need it, pulling the knife straight into your hand and holding it to Erikâs neck.
âYou have no fucking clue what Iâve gone through to get this power.â You were close enough to feel the shuddering breath he let out, and you could see the way he clenched his jaw, his eyes scanning your face meticulously, as though you couldnât see every minuscule movement he made through your blindfold.
âI know it was bad enough that you didnât want to use your gifts for a long time.â You felt as though the wind had been knocked from your lungs, and you stepped back, dropping the knife to the floor with a clatter, making your way back across the room.
âAgain.â
How you got your powers was a memory even Charles hadnât seen. You had never let him. Some subconscious part of you protected it viciously; the first time he had even tried, your mutation had taken over, gripping the only thing you could sense moving and stopping it. That thing just so happened to be his heart.
He hadnât gone near that memory since.
And neither had you.
You should be trying to get some rest. You had a big day tomorrow. You were going after Shaw. Saving the world. Letting Erik get his revenge on that bastard. It was going to be difficult. You just hoped you could be helpful in spite of everything.
It was no use though. You were unable to think about anything else, so you got up and ventured out to find Hank. You just wanted to check if he'd incorporated the blindfold into your suit, and maybe to get some reassurance from your big brother, but as you wandered through the expansive house, you noticed an unusual quietness. Glancing at a clock, you realised it was later than you'd thoughtâyou should definitely be resting too. But as you were passing the main study, you heard voices and paused, listening for Hank.
Hank isnât here, but you can come in.
Your heart lurched, although you couldnât tell if it was from surprise, or an involuntary reaction to his smooth voice. Concentrate, you scolded yourself, opening the door. Both Charles and Erik were sitting in the study in big, leather arm chairs, chess board in front of them and glasses of whiskey nestled in their hands. God, you needed one right now.
âHelp yourself.â He said aloud, and you laughed to yourself quietly.
âIt still takes me by surprise when you do that.â You moved over to the cabinet, pouring yourself a generous amount, before turning around to see another chair being moved to where they were sitting, Erikâs hand outstretched towards its metal feet. He set it down opposite theirâs, and you sat gratefully, tucking your legs up and taking a sip.
âHow are you feeling about tomorrow?â Charles asked, his voice strong and earnest. You frowned.
âWhy do you ever ask questions when you could just see it?â
Would you really rather I was in here all the time?
âNo of course not.â He already was. You took another sip. âAnd Iâm terrified.â
âYou donât have to come, you know.â It was Erik this time. He spoke quietly, eyes never leaving the chess board.
âI want to.â You said it with finality, hoping to convey a confidence you certainly didnât feel, but they both seemed to accept it.
âYour progress has been incredible today; youâre going to be a big help out there.â You smiled at the words but still not fully believing them, having another drink and averting your eyes to the chessboard.
âDo you want to play?â Erik asked, and you shook your head.
âNo, thank you, I think Iâll watch if thatâs ok.â Maybe they didnât want you here. âUnless that would be crashing your evening, I donât want to be a nuisanceâŠâ
âNever.â He muttered, moving one of his pawns. You smiled, settling further into the chair.
It was at times like this that you wished you had Charlesâ power. They had been playing for a while now, and you wanted to know what they were thinking, their plans for the game. You tried to guess, but your chess knowledge was rusty at best, and you kept getting distracted. You hadnât moved in the last 30 minutes - only once before that to get another drink - and they didnât speak much when they played, so your mind wandered. Naturally. And it didnât help that the thing your mind had been wandering to this past week was sat in front of you.
You watched as Erikâs hand gracefully moved a piece across the board from afar, the steel-tipped bishop gliding with ease, then returning to his thigh. His legs were spread slightly, hand resting on each while he continued to look at the board, shuffling slightly in his seat, his hips moving up and forwards and hands sliding further down them and you couldnât help but think aboutâŠ
Charles said your name, and you cleared your throat.
âHmm?â You really hoped he hadnât been in your head then.
âWerenât you looking for Hank earlier?â
âOh⊠yes I was but it can wait until tomorrow, it wasnât important.â Heâs telling you to leave. âUnless you wanted some space, sorry I totally crashed your nightâŠâ
âI promise you arenât, darling, I just wanted to check you hadnât forgotten something important.â Darling. He used nicknames a lot, maybe it was a British thing, but it still made your heart flutter every time.
âThank you.â You smiled quietly as Erik stood up, offering another drink. You accepted, his hand grazing yours as he took the glass from it, fireworks dancing across your skin.
What should I do next?
His voice called out in your head, and you smiled lightly, knowing he didnât need your help but wanting to include you nonetheless, probably after hearing you mind racing with thoughts of being an annoyance.
Bishop to F6.
I was thinking the same thing.
Erik returned, almost making you jump as the glass was placed back in your hand. Charles moved exactly as you had said as soon as Erik had sat down, and he paused, looking at the board intently, fingers running around the rim of his glass. Jesus, was he doing this on purpose? You twisted in your chair under the guise of getting comfortable to face towards Charles, but he was no better. He was stretched out, his legs wide, hand resting on his chin, shirt sleeves pushed up to the elbows. Fucking hell. It was barely anything, they were literally just sitting down, concentrating on their game, relaxing before what was bound to be a difficult day, but your mind couldnât stop running away with itself. And to be fair to you, you were tipsy, stressed, and currently sitting in a room with two men who you happened to find insanely attractive. Of course you were going to have some thoughts. You couldnât help it. About what they might be like. You figure Erik would be a little rougher, domineering, but Charles would talk to you, praise you. Use his powers to know exactly what you needed, to make you feel goodâŠ
His power.
Fuck.
You needed to get out of here before you just about died of embarrassment, and you could feel yourself blushing even though he showed no sign of knowing. If there was even a chance he knew, you needed to run, to leave, to literally never show your face here again. You downed your drink, a slight sting settling in the back of your throat.
âI should probably get going,â you croaked, barely managing to talk through sheer shame, âtry and get some sleep before tomorrow. Thank you for the drink.â You had moved to stand, feet hitting the floor, but Charles held out a hand to you in a gesture to stop.
âJust one secondâŠâ He muttered, looking at Erik intensely. He wasnât saying anything, but they held eye contact and you realised that he must be talking to him. Oh dear God. There was no expression on either of their faces, so unreadable it made you feel slightly insane. Oh God he saw it. What would he even think of you? Then, without warning, Charles stood up. You thought he might be going to get a drink, but he stopped behind you, and after an excruciating moment, his hands fell to your shoulders. You sighed and fell into them as he started to squeeze lightly, working the muscles that were there in a way that felt so good it was hard not to moan, so you hummed in contentment instead.
âI know itâs been a long day⊠maybe we can help you relax a little.â We? At that point, Erik stood up, expression still completely unreadable, and placed his fingers gently under your chin, lifting it to meet his eyes. His beautiful fucking eyes.
âDoes that sound ok?â He whispered, and you practically melted.
"Yes, God, yes," you breathed. Erik closed the gap before you could finish, his lips capturing yours hungrily as his hand found your thigh. He pulled away, leaving you breathless, but before you could recover, he tilted your head back with a gentle grip on your chin. Charles' lips met yours, tender and exploratory. As he kissed you, his fingers traced soft circles on your collarbone. You sensed Erik's intense gaze, then felt his lips brush your neckâa fleeting touch, gentle yet promising more. You gasped into Charles' mouth, overwhelmed by their dual attention.
âMy roomâs closest.â
You made it there without bumping into anyone, a true blessing considering your hand in Charlesâ and the strong grip Erik had on your hips the whole way. You had barely closed the door before he was on you again, lips on your neck and shoulder, hips grinding up against your ass, and something else too. You noticed Charles was standing just away from the two of you, watching intently with an expression close to disbelief. You smiled at him warmly, pulling him closer just as Erik lightly nipped your shoulder in a way that made you whimper. You reached back, running your nails in his hair, before pulling him towards Charles. They both smiled softly, lips meeting as you stayed in between them, both of their bodies pressed up against you. You took the opportunity to undo a few of Charlesâ shirt buttons, and planting a couple of delicate kisses to the top of his chest. You felt giddy with arousal, mind completely taken away from the stress of the whatever was to come the following day, hands taking their time to explore his chest and further down as you continued to undo his buttons, his shirt falling open as you pulled him closer still, pressing his skin to yours.
Let me know if you want us to stop. There is no pressure here, sweetheart, just whatever you want.
You nodded, watching as Charles pulled back from Erik. His eyes scanned your face for any sign of discomfort, though he could surely sense the pleasure coursing through your mind â and they'd barely touched you yet. You hummed contentedly as Erik's hands found the hem of your tank top, pulling it off while Charles' fingers trailed down your arms, grasping your hands and guiding you towards the bed. Shimmying out of your sweatpants, you sat down and kicked them off, then shuffled further up the bed. You leaned back on your elbows, hoping to entice them to join you, but they remained standing, their eyes raking over every inch of you. Suddenly self-conscious, you realised that, apart from Charles' open shirt, they were both still fully clothed, while you lay before them in just your underwear. You would have to change that..
You closed your eyes tight, focusing on them. Charles mustâve heard your thoughts, and he was removing his shirt now, moving to his belt, but Erik just stood, watching you both. He looked so calm, but you could see his rapid, heaving breaths, and the desperation that was growing in his trousers. His breathing was just enough movement for you to latch on to, reaching out and starting to pull up the hem of his top, and he smirked, a grin spreading as he lifted his arms to help you, and you discarded the black material across the room. You blinked your eyes open slowly, and after a small pause where Charles glanced at him, presumably communicating where they were going to be, and finally got a good look at him before he knelt down before the bed, grabbing your hips and pulling you towards him, making you squeal.
"God, you're beautiful," he murmured, planting kisses up your thighs as his fingertips hooked under your pants, pulling them off. You sat up slightly as Charles moved behind you, resting your back against his chest. He grasped your jaw, turning your head to kiss him. "And this is quite a viewâŠ" You blushed, giggling, as Erik settled between your legs, his hands gripping your ass and angling you for access.
"So is this," Charles whispered, his hands finding your bra clasp as Erik's kisses inched closer to your aching core.
"Fuck, ErikâŠ" you whimpered, your hand darting to his hair as his tongue delved into your folds, his hot mouth enveloping you with a groan. Your bra discarded, hands immediately cupped and kneaded your chest, making your head roll back, eyes fluttering closed with sheer bliss. Charles's lips found your neck, nipping the sensitive skin behind your ear and eliciting a soft moan.
"He thinks you taste divine, darling," Charles whispered, and you smiled, already panting as the pressure in your core built. "He does think you could be a little louder, thoughâŠ" As if on cue, Erik's hands left your assâone arm pinning you to the bed by your hips, the other at your entrance. Before you knew it, he was pushing two fingers inside you. You groaned, still holding back slightly, acutely aware of the house full of people.
Donât be shy, I can make sure no one can hear you.
As his voice echoed in your mind, Erik's fingers inside you curled upward, hitting that sweet spot that made you melt. Simultaneously, Charles' fingers found your nipples, pinching and rolling them in a deliciously painful way that drew a guttural noise from your throat. The sound was loud and raw, tearing through your body just like the building pleasure was. Erik's tongue continued its relentless assault on your clit, never pausing. You writhed on the bed, so close to the edge it almost hurt, your moans and whines filling the room.
âOh God⊠fuck I think Iâm going toâŠâ You felt Erik groan against you, and you looked down at him, seeing him peering up at you through half lidded eyes, lust on his face evident and a realisation hit you then. One of the most powerful men in the world was on his knees in front of you, and behind you was the other, lips planted on your neck, their sole purpose being to give you pleasure. It was enough to send you over the edge.
Your back arched, pressing further into Charles as a low, reverberating groan was pulled from your throat, riding out the waves with his mouth still between your thighs, and you couldnât stop your hips from grinding into him. He finally realised you when you were done, shaking and quivering on the bed, slowly removing his fingers from you.
âYou should really have a taste, Charles.â He muttered, moving up onto the bed and crawling over you to reach him, presenting his fingers to his mouth. You watch in awe as Charles took them into his mouth gratefully, sucking them clean as Erik watched, a dark look entering his eyes.
âYou were rightâŠâ he muttered, hands moving to your hair and pushing it from your face as he kissed you gently. âDivine.â You hummed into his mouth and kissed him harder, tasting yourself on his tongue, which made that all too familiar ache build up in your core once again.
âLook at thatâŠâ you heard Erik start talking, alongside the sound of his belt buckle undoing, âsheâs needy already.â You released Charles lips, sitting up slightly to grab a hold of Erikâs waistband, undoing the button and fly quickly and frantically, revealing the huge tent in his boxers.
âLooks like Iâm not the only oneâŠâ you whispered, moving into a seated position on your knees as your hands ran gently across his bulge, seeing his hips move towards you instinctively, begging for more even though the rest of his body language said otherwise. âI can help with that.â His eyes darkened, and you wondered where he would want to be, but Charles was one step ahead of you.
He wants your mouth, darling. You smiled, guiding him back to the headboard with a gentle push on his chest, your fingers tracing the contours of his muscles before letting him get comfortable. Meanwhile, you turned your attention to Charles, putting on a show as you kissed him again, but deeper this time, your tongue taking its time to explore his mouth. Your hands deftly worked at his trousers while his roamed the lower half of your body, all eager grasps and breathless pants against your lips. You loved seeing him come undone beneath your touch, his raw desire palpable, and yours was evident by the slick forming between your thighs.
"Turn around for me, sweetheart." Erik's gruff voice rang out behind you. You obliged, settling on your knees to see a beautiful sight. He had finally taken off his trousers and boxers, and you paused to drink him in. Relaxed against the headboard, legs spread wide, his posture screamed dominance, accentuated by the small smirk playing on his lips as he watched you. Your gaze wandered down, taking in his toned body, strong arms, and down to the happy trail leading to the thing you wanted most. He was hardâpainfully so, it seemedâand he stroked himself languidly while waiting for you. And he was big, bigger than you expected, and you swallowed hard at the thought of him, of how he would feelâŠ.
Charles had also stripped down completely, and he moved right behind you on the bed, hips pressed to your ass, and his erection pressed against your back.
âCome hereâŠâ Erik said, leaning forward and pulling you close by the back of your neck and smashing his lips into yours. You could feel Charles behind you, pulling your hips back and setting you up for him, his hands kneading your ass in a way that made you moan into Erikâs mouth.
Are you safe?
On the pill, Iâm all yours. Erik released you from his lips and sat back, giving Charles a small nod and using the hand on your neck to keep your head up and facing him.
âEyes on me, babygirl.â You nodded, eyes widening and a moan escaping your lips as you felt Charles press up against your entrance, fully sheathing himself in one swift motion.
âFuck, darling, you feel so good.â He groaned, breathing ragged.
"God, so do you," you whispered, breathless as you adjusted to his size. Your eyes remained locked on Erik's, whose expression darkened as he stroked himself faster. Charles pulled out slowly, taking his time, before thrusting back into you forcefully, his hips colliding with yours. You moaned and whimpered as he set a rhythm, his hands roaming through your hair and up and down your back, murmuring praises and curses. You had finally caught your breath, and you knew it was time someone else got a little attention, so you lowered your head. Your tongue swirled around Erik's cock as his hand gripped your hair tightly. You took him into your mouth, managing just over half before pulling back, one hand moving to his base, the other steadying you on the bed. Matching Charles' pace, you bobbed up and down, drawing a growl of satisfaction from Erik that made your cunt clench, eliciting similar sounds from the man behind you. He pulled you into him by your hips, each thrust pure bliss, and you knew another climax was imminent if he just...
The telepath clearly sensed your thoughts, his hand reaching around to find your clit with precision. He rubbed tight circles in perfect rhythm, building the pressure once more. You could only moan weakly around the cock deep in your throat.
"She's close, Erik. I want to hear her," Charles said breathlessly. You could tell he was nearing his peak too as Erik lifted you off him by your hair, gripping tightly.
"Are you going to come for him, sweetheart?" Erik asked, his low tone making you whimper.
"Fuck... so close... Iâ" Your words dissolved into a moan as your orgasm overwhelmed you. Your eyes fluttered closed, and your head rolled into Erik's hands. Your body melted into blissful jelly, your core pulsing around Charles, and he followed shortly after, his hips faltering as he pressed deep into you. With a groan in your ear, he filled you, then bit your shoulder as you both rode out the waves of pleasure together.
You were a shuddering mess by the time he was done, barely holding yourself up as he pulled out of you with a deep sigh. He pressed soft kisses down your spine as Erik lifted your head up, lust etched on his face.
âYou still up for me, sweetheart?â His fingers ran across your lips and cheek, and you nodded, still breathless.
Iâm going to clean up, can I leave you two to it?You heard Charles in your head, and you sent over a yes, turning your head to kiss him goodbye.
âShall I clean you up before I go, darling?â He asked, clearly having asked Erik the same thing, before standing and moving over to him, kissing him deeply.
âI think weâll be ok.â Erik muttered, a mischievous look on his face. You smiled, forcing your weary legs to move towards him. He held you up by your hips as you heard the bathroom door close, a quick have fun thrown into your head. You kissed him softly, tenderly as you sank onto him, a sweet, low growl filling your mouth as your hips met hisâa surprisingly easy feat despite his size thanks to what had been left behind by Charles. Your legs trembled, worn out, but you pressed your body close to Erik's, draping your head over his shoulder as he guided your movements with his hands. It was intimate - hands tangled in hair, soft, short breaths mingling with deep, grinding strokes that quickly brought you to the edge yet again. Panting and whining in his ear, you tried to tell him how close you were, but the sensation overtook you before you could form the words. Your nails dug into his back as pleasure washed over you. He whispered your name in a dark, husky tone, and then he was coming too, deep inside you. Somehow, he ground even deeper as you managed to lift your head just enough to kiss him.
You both stayed like that for a moment, catching your breath, bodies intertwined. Erik's hands traced lazy patterns on your back, sending shivers down your spine. As your heartbeat slowly returned to normal, you lifted your head to meet his gaze, finding a mix of satisfaction and tenderness in his eyes. With a soft smile, he tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear, his touch lingering on your cheek. You wanted to stay like this forever, feeling his heartbeat against your chest, but the moment was broken by the shower turning off. You blushed, climbing off him slowly, slumping next to him on the bed, feeling empty without him inside of you. You knew you would have to go and clean up soon, but you felt so comfortable with his arm draped around you, you didnât want to move. He pulled the blanket from the bottom of the bed up, draping it over you as you waited for Charles, your eyes fluttering closed peacefully.
âWell, this is nice sight.â You smiled, opening your eyes to see him in the doorway to the bathroom, wet hair hanging over his face and towel wrapped around his waist.
âThis is a pretty nice view from here too.â You replied. âCan IâŠ?â
âGo ahead.â Erik muttered, planting one last kiss on your lips as you headed to the bathroom. You had just closed the door when you heard the bed creak, and they started talking.
âWe got lucky with her, didnât we?â Charles muttered, and you heard Erik sigh.
Ahh we hit 1,000 notes!! A huge huge thank you to anyone who reblogged and commented and anything else on this fic, Iâm so proud of it and glad you all enjoy it too! LOVE YOU ALL â€ïž
Can you write a fanfic (only if you're comfortable of course) pairing kang dae-ho x f!reader, during the lights out. Basically they've developed a really strong connection since the beggining, and she's sleeping next to him while he's looking out for others (ok he's just basically watching you sleep). But you shift your position while sleeping and he sees sh scars on your wrist, and folds your sleeves and he sees multiple cuts and scars. You wake up from the motions and you see him with teary eyes and then you start to cry a lot, like having a panic attack and he comforts you and it's just a lot of fluff basically. (the reason from your cuts can be because you're deeply depressed and you're coping that way since you're 15 but at 21 you still do it)
But, if you don't feel comfortable writing about sh can you please write one also during the light out when dae-ho is on the look out and the reader is trying to sleep, but she's so scared of what's going to happen that she starts crying, he notices it, she has a panic attack and he pulls her to his lap comforting her (again really fluffy).
I'm almost one year clean so I was craving this kind of comfort, thank you <3
Your wish is my command đ«Ą (sorry so cheesy)
Creature Comforts
Kang Dae-ho x reader
CW: mentions of self harm, please please do not read if youâre not comfortable with this!!, fluff and comfort
She looked so peaceful when she slept. She was curled up on the mattress beside where he was keeping guard, her chest rising and falling with each breath. It was mesmerising. Her hair was fanned out across the pillow, some straying into her face, strands lying delicately on her cheek. The lower half of her body was covered with a thin blanket, her top half cuddled into her jumper.
He had never seen her this calm. They had gotten close quickly in these games - the fear and horror acting as a catalyst for friendship - and he found himself getting protective over her fast. Theyâd first met after the first game, when Thanos and his lackey had approached her to join their little group, and heâd felt the inexplicable urge to tell him she was already spoken for. Surprisingly, she agreed with him quickly, saying she had already made her allies and hurried quickly away from that purple-haired joke. She thanked him wholeheartedly when they were out of earshot, confirming that there was something about him that made her uncomfortable so she appreciated being saved (her words, not his.) They had been inseparable since - sharing meals, sticking together in games, voting together, even bunking next to each other. When Gi-hun said that two people should always be keeping watch tonight, they didnât even have to say they would take their shift together - it was just assumed.
But when the time came, he couldnât bring himself to wake her up. She looked ethereal in the dim light of the room, her hair like a halo, the sound of her breathing a symphony to his ears. Soothing. He could watch her for hours, totally enthralled and at peace. His hand moved to brush a piece of hair from her face, feeling the softness of the lock between his fingers, fingertips lingering just a moment too long on the soft skin of her cheek. So he just sat beside her. He wasnât tired yet; he could take her shift. Anything to protect her really. A few extra hours can be the difference between life and death here.
The rise and fall of her body suddenly changed rhythm, a deep sigh escaping her lips. She rolled over in her sleep to face him, and he held his breath, scared that the smallest shift might wake her. She settled back in quickly though, and he watched with a soft smile as her arms fell beside her body, head snuggling into the pillow.
He wanted to wake up like this every morning, hearing her gentle sighs and soft snores, to see the peace on her face before she woke. He had only known her a few days, but it felt like a lifetime when they spent every minute fearing for their life. He felt so unbelievably protective of her so fast. He didnât think she was incapable of handling herself - sheâd proven the opposite through this ordeal. But he didnât want her to have to worry about that ever again. As soon as they were out of there, he would do anything to make sure she wasnât scared ever again.
Her hair had fallen across her face again, and in the dim light, he worked carefully to move it, tucking it gently behind her ear. Then he noticed her blankets falling down a little, pooling around her waist, so he pulled it up to her shoulders. Then the cuff of her jacket was slipping, so he gently grabbed the fabric, moving to fix her sleeve, when he noticed something. There were a few scars there, barely noticeable in the dim light of the room, so he allowed his curiosity and protective nature get the better of him. Ever so cautiously, he slipped her sleeve down just a little, just enough to see the scars that littered her forearms. Some were newer than others, others long since healed, but they were unmistakable.
His heart hurt for her. Life in these games was hard enough, but he could only imagine what awaited her outside to have toâŠ
He wasnât sure what to do. If he addressed it, he might lose her trust. She might get embarrassed that he knew and withdraw. If he didnât, and she somehow worked out that he knew, she would think he didnât care.
It wasnât something he understood completely - a few of his friends from the military struggled with self-harm, but he didnât tend to ask them too many questions. They had PTSD, so maybe she had that too? Or something else that was making her hurt badly enough to⊠all he really knew was that she didnât have any healthy avenues to alleviate her stress and emotion. He wanted to help, to hold her and tell her everything would always be okay around him, that she shouldnât ever hurt herself again⊠but he knew that was condescending and naive. What he really needed to do was let her talk to him if he wanted, listen, and if there was anyway she wanted him to help, he wouldâŠ
His plans were foiled though, as she woke slowly, eyes blinking open. He was lost in thought, fingers still hooked around her cuff, and he was frozen as her eyes widened, locking on her arms and where his skin was against her. She started to back away, shuffling quickly as she adjusted, fear taking over her features.
âWhatâre youâŠâ she muttered quietly, pulling her sleeves back to her hands as tears started to form in her eyes.
âIâm sorryâŠâ he blurted out quickly, face turning red. âYou turned over and I saw something so I was curious, I didnât mean to wake you I⊠Iâm so sorry.â She had pulled her knees to her chest, shaking slightly. âHey, listen to me, itâs ok, itâs all ok, IâŠâ he slowed down when he realised she was crying, her whole body heaving with deep, pained breaths, her hands fisting the blankets around her. He muttered her name quietly, but she didnât respond, her legs falling down as her breathing got more and more erratic.
Oh God, heâd ruined everything.
***
It had happened so quickly. One minute you were asleep, the next, you opened your eyes to see Dae-ho beside you. At first, you were happy just to see him, his face and demeanour and everything about him a comfort to you throughout this game. Then you noticed the way he was looking at you. A mixture of pain and confusion and worry was contorted across his face, and then you saw where he was looking.
Your sleeve must had rolled in your sleep, and he was looking at your now bare wrist, his fingers softly brushing against it. You snatched her arm away quickly, fear clouding your mind as you shuffled back.
He had seen.
Oh God, Iâve ruined everything.
There was no questioning that fact. He knew. One of your deepest secrets, one of the things you were most ashamed of. And now, the person you trusted most in here knew. What would he think? Would he view you differently? As weak? As insane? As someone who didnât deserve to be here around people who wanted to live more than you?
All you had ever wanted was to be seen as normal. And however awful this place was, you finally had that. You had found someone who viewed you as an equal, an ally even. You werenât the unstable girl who cut herself, or the friend no one could rely on due to unpredictable bouts of depression or anxiety, or the shitty daughter who kept to herself. You were helpful, normal even. But now?
You hadnât noticed your breathing start to shallow until it was too late. Your vision started to go fuzzy, mind screaming that youâd let someone too close, that they would never see you the same and it was all your fault. Again.
You heard him call your name, but it felt far away, like you were trapped in a bubble and everything outside was muffled. You were paralysed with an inexplicable terror, tears streaming down your face.
Unsurprisingly, given where you were, it wasnât the first time youâd had a panic attack in front of him. Theyâd been pretty consistent, after every game, during some, but now, somehow this was the worst. For some reason, someone truly knowing you was scarier than the prospect of looming death.
It took a while for your vision to come back into focus, and when it did, all you could see was his face.
âHey, look at me, breathe, ok? HereâŠâ he carefully placed his hand on yours, and when you didnât pull away, picked it up and held it to his chest. âFollow my breaths, ok? InâŠ.â You did your best to follow along, stuttering slightly, but he smiled ever so softly even if you werenât doing it perfectly. âGood, and out..â He repeated the motion a few times, and you followed until your breathing was steady enough to talk. âThere we go.â He muttered gently, a hand straying to your face to wipe away the tears that had fallen.
âIâm so sorry, Dae-hoâŠâ it was all you could choke out, already close to tears again, but he shushed you quickly.
âYou have nothing to be sorry for. Itâs none of my business, but I need you to know that I would never judge you⊠not for anything. Especially not for something that isnât your fault.â
âOf course it is, IâŠâ
âItâs not. Do you hear me? Itâs not your fault. Youâre doing your best and Iâm here for you. As long as you know that, thatâs all that matters.â You were crying again, his words a comfort you had never heard before. Not a moment after the first tear fell his arms were around you, pulling you tight to him and pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. You couldnât even speak to thank him, so you squeezed his arm instead, feeling him smile into the top of your head. You had never felt so much kindness before, so much understanding⊠and maybe it said something about the people around you, but you couldnât think about that. Right now, all you could think about was the way he was holding you close, the way his breaths aligned with yours, and the way he made you feel like everything was actually going to be ok.
