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“flirting” aka staring at u and when u look back at me i look away very fast so u wont see that i was staring at u

tbh all I need a hug and a lot of money (the hug is optional)

Your blog fails to make me smile :) I love you!

did you forget the word never or is this a hate message

What if it doesn’t wanna be called hotspot and it wanted to be called beautifulspot

g2g = got 2 grow (as a human bean)

I’m the grandma

taking a nap is always so risky like when will I wake up? in thirty minutes? in 2 hours? in 7 years?? no one can be sure

i feel that’s what alarms are for…

fuckboy:whats your favorite position in bed? ;)

me:near the wall so i can use my phone while its charging

A haiku about school:

fuck this, i am done.

bitch, i am so fucking done.

fuck this, i am done.

fuck personality types u wanna know a lot about a person? present them w a plate of brownies and see if they take a corner, side, or middle piece

tag this with the type of brownie piece you would take

Honestly I’m such a catch and if you don’t have at least a little crush on me its ur loss

every time i eat goldfish crackers i make sure to eat them in front of my fish tank to assert my dominance

Are Medusa’s leg hairs tiny snakes?

what if our use of emojis gradually becomes so extensive that we actually circle back to writing in hieroglyphics

me at the dentist

dentist: when was the last time you flossed?

me: bro u were THERE

funny text posts