NC Girly, ♏︎♡ JJ Maybank does NOT die in my fics ever. He's immortal, actually. Comments and feedback are very very much appreciated 💞 JJ is 18+ in all smutty fics
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❤️=smut 🩷=request
Bsf!JJ Maybank x Reader
Besties You and your best friend, JJ, wake up together after a blurry night of drinking way too much (or just enough) at the bonfire
The Walking Dead (50+ Parts)🧟♂️❤️ Walking Dead x OBX crossover
Mermaid Motel❤️ You and JJ are stranded two hours away from home and have to stay the night in a motel room with one bed
Mermaid Motel Part 2 🩷
Caught in the Act❤️ You never thought that anything would happen between you and JJ, no matter how much you'd fantasized about it for years and definitely not like this
Quick, Kiss Me You and JJ are on a mission to find something in an empty classroom and need to look like you weren't when you get caught
My Girl JJ protects you from a drunk Kook at a party
His Angel You're the only person that JJ Maybank would come to for comfort after a brutal encounter with his dad
Her Angel JJ sees a Kook roofie you at a party and takes care of you
Midsummers Just a sweet little interaction when you and JJ run into each other (literally) at Midsummers before all hell breaks loose
You Don't Wanna Kiss Me? You can't stand to see JJ talking to another girl at a bonfire, so you decide to drown your sorrows a little bit more than you should
You Don't Wanna Kiss Me? Part 2
Playing Pretend A Kook won't leave you alone at a party so JJ pretends to be your boyfriend
Playing Pretend Part 2❤️
You or Yucatan JJ plans on telling you how he feels at the boneyard after years of avoiding it—mainly because John B tells him he has no balls—but ends up getting a little too drunk and jealous when he sees you talking to some Kook boy
Pretty When You Cry Y/N's dad passed away recently and her mom has slowly become somebody she doesn't recognize. JJ, having similar issues, is going to be there for his best friend in any way that he needs to be.
🍄 You and JJ take some mushrooms and after years of pining, he's finally able to admit how he really feels
Dr. Maybank JJ kisses you better when you accidentally hurt yourself exploring Poguelandia, the island that you're stranded on
Tiny T-Shaped Miracle JJ takes you to a doctor's appointment to get an iud put in and spends the rest of the day taking care of you
Poguelandia 4L You're stranded on an island with JJ and your friends (takes place during Outer Banks season 3 episode 1) and you're touch starved
Poguelandia 4L Part 2🩷
Wrong Bed❤️ JJ blacks out and falls asleep in the wrong bedroom of the Poguelandia 2.0. house and it's the best decision he didn't know he was making of his life
Nice Catch You tell Sarah exactly how you feel about JJ not knowing that he's under the dock (Sarah knows though)
Southport JJ takes you on a trip to Southport NC for your birthday
Part 2 ❤️ (smut is not detailed)
Part 3 ❤️❤️❤️
Safe Haven When a terrifying encounter at a party triggers old trauma, JJ steps in and continues to be the one person who helps you feel safe again.
Part 2 JJ goes to comfort you when he hears you having nightmares in the guest bedroom of the Chateau
Not-So-Sexy Little Stumble After JJ kisses the reader at a party, JJ pushes her away completely
Hit and Run You and the pogues watch JJ get hit on his bike
Christmas Eve Service🎄 Y/N's parents invite JJ to to come to church on Christmas eve (preachers daughter!reader)
YOU Obsessed!JJ Maybank, 5 parts, 16,000 words
Kinda My Girl ❤️🩷 Aftercare with friends with benefits JJ
Home Safe 🩷 JJ panics when you don't text him that you got home safe
Part 2
Part 3
Full Kook (Kinda) ❤️ JJ comes to hang out with you at your petsitting house and you pretend to be Kook husband and wife
Part 2❤️
Way Too High 🩷 JJ takes care of you when an edible makes you WAY TOO HIGH
Handyman 🩷 Your Kook parents hire JJ to fix some things around the house and you've had a crush on him for forever
Snowday It snows in the OBX, hard, and JJ couldn't be more excited
Daddy Kink ❤️🩷 You and JJ have secretly had feelings for each other for years. One night, after drinking a lot of tequila, he finds out you kind of like the idea of calling somebody daddy. Later that night he does something about it.
JJ Maybank x Routledge!Reader
Mackerel JJ and John B’s sister are always roughhousing, but one playful wrestling match leaves the Pogues wondering if there’s more to their chaos than just friendship
Mackerel Part 2
Mackerel Part 3 ❤️
JJ's Playlist The party dies down for everybody but JJ and his lifelong best friend, John B's little sister. They drunkenly have some fun in the front yard of the Chateau. JJ is the DJ and they have one of those nights where the music just hits
Boo🎃 JJ loves your fairy Halloween costume a little too much
For Survival You and JJ have to sleep in the Twinkie when it breaks down in the middle of the night in the dead of winter
Masseuse Maybank ❤️ JJ gives you a massage after a long day
Enemies to Lovers
His Biggest Hater Everything changes when you stumble upon a very upset JJ Maybank, your enemy since childhood, at your secret spot in the Cut.
Oops ❤️ (3 Parts) You wake up next to JJ after blacking out at a party
Bf!JJ Maybank x gf!Reader
In Sickness🩷 JJ takes care of you after you have surgery
Dream Come true❤️ JJ catches you having a private moment with yourself, thinking about him, and decides to lend you a hand
Dream Come True Day Before Flashback❤️🩷 Boat smut
The Swell y/n beats Ruthie's ass after she runs over a baby turtle
His Little Rockstar🩷 You're a singer and when your friend comes to town and asks you to preform a song with him and his band JJ tries to be supportive but is secretly extremely jealous
Mirror, Mirror❤️ (2 Parts) You and JJ have been together for less than a month after years of friendship are addicted to each other. When your parents leave for a few days JJ finally gets to come over and loves your mirrored closet doors
Weird Brain 🩷 JJ helps pull you out of a depressive episode
Female!JJ
365 Partygirl JJ gets too drunk at the boneyard and you help her out
You couldn't stop replaying that night in your head.
The way JJ had looked at you on the couch. The way his thumb moved softly over your knuckles like he'd forgotten where the line between pretending and something real actually was. The way his voice sounded when he said your name.
How serious he looked, and maybe a little nervous, when he was about to say something before getting interrupted by the Pogues.
You genuinely couldn't tell if he'd actually been about to say something important or if the weed had just made both of you weirdly emotional and starey.
And it was actually driving you a little insane.
Two nights later, while the two of you washed dishes together after dinner at the Chateau, you finally worked up the courage to ask.
You handed JJ a plate carefully. "So…"
"Mm?" he hummed, drying it.
"What were you gonna say a few nights ago before we were... bombarded?"
His eyes flicked up towards the cabinet like he was caught off guard by that, then back down. "What d'you mean?"
You narrowed your eyes slightly. "On the couch."
"Oh." He shrugged. "Don't remember."
You stared at him. "Seriously?"
"Yup."
"You looked really serious though."
JJ snorted softly and reached for another dish. "Guess it wasn't that serious then."
You studied him for another second then looked down at the sink. "You really don't remember?"
He glanced over finally, blue eyes sparkling with something suspiciously amused. "Nope."
You tried to believe him. You really did.
Then he flicked water at you as a stupid aversion to the conversation.
You gasped and shielded yourself, giggling. "JJ! Why?!"
He grinned. "Sorry, Priness. Intrusive thoughts won."
"You suck." You splashed him back, but unfortunately, yours had soap in it.
He recoiled violently. "OH–Jesus Christ–my eye!"
"Oh my god!" you laughed, immediately grabbing his arm. "Wait wait wait, I'm sorry–"
He squinted the eye shut dramatically while you tried not to laugh harder.
"Are you okay? I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry."
You grabbed his face carefully to look at his eye and he immediately smiled. Your thumbs rested lightly against his cheeks while you tried to inspect the damage.
"Open it."
"I can't."
"Yes you can."
"No. I'm blind. And I'm suing."
"You're so dramatic. And I'm claiming self defense."
He finally looked at you and his breath caught a little at how close you were. Close enough that he stopped laughing a little.
"Can you see?" you teased softly.
"Kinda," he mumbled
"Good… So no taking me to court?"
He smiled harder. "Nah. I'll let it slide this time."
You giggled at that, almost forgetting your hands were still on his face. Then, accidentally, your eyes flicked down to his lips, just like his had last night. You caught yourself looked back up quickly.
He noticed.
You noticed he noticed.
Your mouth opened for a second to say something then closed as you began to search his eyes. And for one terrifying second, it honestly felt like maybe one of you might actually do something.
"Oh hey guys."
You both jumped slightly and your hands dropped.
John B stood in the doorway, eyebrows raised.
"What's uh…" He looked between the two of you. "What's goin' on ya'll? Am I interrupting something?"
"No," you said way too quickly. "What?" You laughed nervously and pointed at his one bloodshot eye. "I blinded him... Splashed soap in his eye."
John B stared at both of you for another second before slowly nodding like he definitely did not believe that was the full story.
Neither of you were sure it was either.
"Mhm, right." He looked at you. "Well… Be nice to JJ, Y/N. He's a fragile little flower."
JJ nodded very seriously. "Tell her, JB."
You snorted. "Not happening."
John B grabbed a soda out the fridge and squinted suspiciously at the two of you one last time before walking back out.
The second he disappeared, silence filled the kitchen again.
JJ cleared his throat immediately and grabbed another dish. You grabbed one too. And neither of you mentioned it again.
After that, things only got worse... Or better? Depending on how you looked at it.
You started spending even more time together.
You'd walk over to the carshop and help out or talk his ear off while he pretended your presence wasn't distracting him beyond belief.
Sometimes he'd glance up in the middle of working and just catch himself staring at you for no reason.
And you definitely stared at him too.
You'd pretend you were actually learning something, but in reality, you didn't hear a damn word he said half the time. Not when his arms were covered in grease and flexing every time he tightened something. Or when he was all sweaty, chewing on his lip in concentration or making soft little grunts.
You'd practically just sit there and drool silently until JJ would suddenly turn around and say something like "So... That make sense?"
"Mmhm," you'd reply quickly, smiling way too innocently.
Then he'd squint and say "You have absolutely no idea what I just said."
Then you'd just laugh and make some excuse about it being a too many words you didn't know and he'd shake his head, smiling to himself as he went back to work.
Sometimes his boss or coworkers would tease the two of you even worse than the Pogues would, but JJ would just tell them to shut the hell up and mind their business.
You secretly loved it though.
He stuck to his plan to make sure you were never lonely again.
One night, you were hanging up clothes in your closet when a blond head popped up in the window behind you.
The second the frame creaked open, you spun around so fast and almost screamed. Your hand flew over your mouth as JJ climbed inside.
"JJ?!"
He laughed so hard he had to lean against your dresser.
"Oh my god," he choked out. "Guess I am a big scary man."
"Guess so! Warn a girl next time, maybe?" you hissed as you sat on your bed, trying to calm your heart rate a little. Then you began laughing too, covering your face with both hands.
He stopped laughing as hard when he noticed the little, tight, cropped pajama set that you were wearing that didn't leave much to the imagination. And the fact that you were definitely not wearing a bra.
If you were his he'd be on top of you in a second.
You lowered your hands and immediately saw the way his eyes snapped back up. Your cheeks warmed instantly, because part of you loved that he was seeing a like this... a very large part.
Neither of you acknowledged it.
You tilted your head. "What are you doing here, Jayj?"
He carefully slid the window back down. "We're watching that movie you wouldn't shut up about a few days ago."
Your eyebrows lifted. "Is that right?"
You snorted softly. "Yeah, but you need a shower first if you're getting in my bed."
"Yup." He grabbed your remote off your nightstand. "You said you got Netflix now, right?"
He smiled helplessly at that. "Yes ma'am."
You walked over to your dresser and dug through it for a second.
He swallowed as he let his eyes drift down your body once more, unable to help himself.
"Here, wear these," you said before tossing him one of his t-shirts you'd stolen and a pair of oversized sweatpants.
JJ caught them one handed and grinned wide. "You're sooo bossy now."
"Go shower, Maybank."
He saluted dramatically before disappearing into your bathroom.
The second the door shut, you walked over to your vanity and stared at yourself in the mirror for a few seconds. Then fixed your hair a bit. Then you stared at yourself a little longer, stomach fluttering nervously, because maybe tonight something would finally happen between the two of you.
You pulled your top down a little so maybe half an inch more of cleavage was showing... Then immediately groaned at yourself.
You didn't pull it back up though.
"Oh my god," you muttered under your breath. "Get a grip, girl."
You climbed into your bed and began to think of how you should be sitting when he came back.
You tried sitting casually against the headboard.
Too obvious.
Then laying on your stomach.
Absolutely not. What??
Then you realized you were acting completely insane and flopped back against your pillows like a normal human being, grabbing the remote and pretending that was what you'd been doing the entire time.
A few long minutes later, the bathroom door opened and JJ stepped out with his hair all damp, cheeks pink from the hot water and his eyes adorably sleepy.
You couldn't help smiling at the sight of him.
He looked up while rubbing a towel through his hair and something about that image hit him so hard he almost forgot how to move for a second.
"You look tired," you said softly.
He blinked like he'd just snapped out of a trance. "I am tired."
You chewed your lip nervously and he swallowed a little.
"You gonna even make it through the movie?"
"Yeah, nah, I'm good."
He climbed onto the bed beside you, trying not to think too hard about how many times he'd imagined doing exactly this.
You hit play and at first you both tried watching it. Tried really really hard. But neither of you could think about anything but how close you were… and in your bed.
You had to fight every urge in your body not to crawl onto his lap and kiss him silly.
And JJ had to fight every instinct telling him to pull you underneath him and rip those little pj's right off of you.
He also had to try desperately not to fall asleep.
Halfway through the movie, one scene made you laugh. "Oh my god, that reminds me of when–"
You looked over and he was dead asleep. Absolutely gone to the world.
"JJ?" you whispered.
Nothing.
You huffed out the tiniest laugh even through your bummed outness, because he looked absolutely adorable like that: All peaceful with his mouth hanging open just a bit.
You curled on your side, body facing him and kept watching the movie, occasionally looking over and smiling when he'd make a tiny noise or his face would twitch a little.
At one point he mumbled something that definitely wasn't words. Then a few minutes later
"Y/N."
You quickly looked over, heart immediately skipping, and JJ was still completely asleep, brows pinched together slightly against the pillow. Then the corner of his lips twitched up.
"So pretty…"
Heat rushed to your cheeks and you just stared at him for a moment, wondering if you heard him right.
"Oh my god," you whispered to yourself, smiling embarrassingly hard as you wondered what he was dreaming about.
Apparently you.
And apparently he thought you were pretty. As least in his dream he did.
After a minute, you couldn't help but carefully scoot a little closer to him, and the second you did, JJ shifted in his sleep and instinctively reached for you. You let out the tiniest surprised squeak when his arm wrapped around your waist and tugged you directly against his chest, humming happily.
Your heart was beating so hard now you were positive it would wake him up as you tried not to giggle, but it didn't. He just buried his face slightly into your hair and mumbled again, voice rough with sleep.
"There y'are…"
You melted completely, nuzzling your face into his chest and breathing him in, the movie forgotten completely.
After a little, you fell asleep, maybe the happiest girl in the world.
JJ woke up before his alarm the next morning and the familiar smell of you hit him before he even opened his eyes. Then the warmth of your back against his chest.
He blinked his eyes open and looked down at the top of your head, then at the way your fingers were wrapped around his forearm. Then he smiled so hard it hurt.
He stared at the clock on your nightstand and frowned because why the hell did he have to go to work?
He laid there a little longer, enjoying every single second of this while it lasted, then reluctantly slipped out of bed as carefully as possible.
He quietly pulled his jeans back on, folded the sweatpants neatly, and glanced back at you one last, longing time before climbing back out the window.
He spent almost the entire day in the best mood he'd ever been in in his entire life, smiling at absolutely nothing as he worked.
He smiled especially hard when you texted him later that morning.
You sleep good?
JJ texted back embarrassingly fast.
Like a baby
Your smile spread instantly when your phone buzzed again almost immediately after.
Howd you sleep shrimp?
How was the movie?
You bit your lip, smiling down at the screen before typing back.
Same. You were pretty cozy.
And I honestly don't know. I kinda fell asleep too.
Wanna finish it at some point?
JJ stared at the message for a second before grinning so hard he had to look away from his phone. Of course he wanted to finish it. And maybe make you feel cozy again if you wanted.
Yeah so were u
Yeah sure
"What're you smilin' at over there?"
JJ glanced up to see his coworker wiping grease off his hands with a rag, eyeing him suspiciously from across the garage.
"Nothin'."
"Bullshit." The older man snorted. "Been smilin' like an idiot all damn mornin'. You finally tell your friend you're in love with her or somethin'?"
JJ shook his head and ducked back under the hood of the car he was working on, trying to hide the way he couldn't stop smiling if he tried. "Shut the hell up, Daryl."
That night, JJ worked a little later than usual to make a few extra bucks. Afterwards, when the sun had almost set, he decided to walk back over to your house. Once again without warning.
He grinned to himself a little when he finally saw it, heart beginning to beat faster and faster the closer he got to your window.
But when he did get to your window, he froze instantly, eyes widening at the sight inside.
You were laying on top of your covers in the same tiny sleep shirt you'd been wearing last night, but no shorts this time.
One hand was inside your panties, moving between your thighs, the other sliding up into your shirt to squeeze your breast. Your eyes were shut, cheeks pink, your lips parted and your chest rising and falling as you worked yourself.
JJ's stomach dropped straight to the floor. His pants tightened and his entire body went hot immediately as he watched you. He knew he should look away but it was like he was completely frozen
Your breathing caught softly and you turned your face into the pillow, free hand flying to your mouth to muffle a moan and all JJ could think was:
Oh my fucking god.
Because you looked so goddamn pretty. And he wanted to hear the little noises you were making. And he wanted to be the one making you feel that way so bad it hurt. Wanted your hand to be his. Or his mouth. Or–
His brain finally kicked back in.
"What the fuck am I doing?" he whispered harshly to himself, before quickly backing away from the window.
By the time he got back to his bike at the shop, he was fully losing his mind. He kicked one leg over and dragged both hands down his face before letting out a quiet, miserable groan.
"Jesus fucking Christ," he muttered.
He rode home way too fast, trying very hard not to picture what he'd just seen, which was actually impossible.
The second he got to the Chateau he walked past Sarah and John B, greeting them in passing, and went straight to the shower. Then he didn't stop picturing it all night until sleep finally pulled him under.
The next afternoon, you surprised him at work with lunch.
As soon as he saw you walking toward him carrying a paper bag and smiling all sweet, he forgot how to form coherent thoughts, as last night had been the only thing on his mind all day and probably would be as long as he lived.
He forced himself to be normal. "You brought me food?"
You shrugged. "You said today was gonna be crazy and I know you always forget to eat when you're busy."
He smiled softly at that. At the way you cared for him. "I appreciate it. Seriously."
"Of course."
"What'd you bring me?"
"Burger. Fries. And I got you one of those gross energy drinks you like."
His eyes widened. "The green one?"
"Duh."
"Oh my god. Marry me."
You burst out laughing. "Okay... Barefoot beach wedding?"
His eyes lit up with recognition instantly, heart squeezing. "Yep."
"Absolutely no fishing?"
"Absolutely not," he said seriously. "Because I need to hang out with you."
You both burst into giggles and Daryl shook his head from underneath the car beside you.
"Good lord you two. Get a damn room." But he was smiling a bit.
That only made both of you laugh harder, realizing how ridiculous your inside jokes must sound.
JJ washed his hands as best he could and sat on the curb outside the garage. You plopped down beside him and every few minutes you stole one of his french fries.
He tsked. "You're literally eating all my fries."
You grabbed another and shoved it into your mouth shamelessly. "Girlfriend tax."
He smiled and shook his head, still not used to joking like this again. And, god, he wished it wasn't a joke. "Whatever you say, Shrimp."
Suddenly you grabbed your phone. "Oh wait– this made me think of you last night."
He took the phone from your hand and watched some TikTok of a guy shark fishing from his surfboard and when he caught one he stood on his board and let it pull him as people watched from a pier.
He barked out a laugh immediately. "That's badass. I'm honored."
You giggled. "Just thought you'd do some dumb shit like that."
He smiled, but then his stomach tightened a little, because the words "made me think of you last night" kept echoing in his head. Because now all he could think about was what you'd been thinking about last night as you made yourself feel good. Or if there you had somebody specific in mind.
If you wanted somebody touching you like that. Taking care of you.
He handed the phone back before his brain spiraled any harder. "Maybe I will do that. Thanks for the idea." Then he noticed a tiny smear of ketchup near the corner of your mouth. "Hey, uh, you got a little…"
You blinked. "Hm?"
He gestured vaguely toward his own face.
"Oh." Your cheeks warmed slightly and without even thinking about it, you tilted your chin up toward him a little, like you wanted him to do it.
So he did. He reached over carefully and brushed the ketchup away with his thumb.
You laughed softly and smiled. "Thanks."
"No prob."
He licked the ketchup off his thumb just to get your reaction.
You stared at him for half a second, jaw dropping, then immediately burst out laughing.
"What?" he shrugged, smirking proudly before taking a sip of his energy drink. "Boyfriend tax."
Your laughs become uncontrollable giggles at that as you leaned your head on his shoulder to hide the sudden pinkness of your cheeks.
He cracked and began to laugh himself now as he stared down at you.
"You're so weird," you groaned.
"I'm not gonna waste perfectly good ketchup."
That only made you laugh harder.
JJ kept staring down at you, smirk turning a little dopey and feeling absolutely fucking doomed. Because everything was going too perfect between the two of you.
And deep down, he knew it.
He knew good things like this didn't just happen for him. Not for long. Not without something eventually screwing it up. Or him screwing it up.
And the next day, something did... at least in his eyes.
That Saturday afternoon, everybody was hanging out on the Chateau porch except for you, since you'd been out having brunch with your mom and her friend.
JJ's head lifted instantly from where he was sitting on the couch when he heard you pedaling up the driveway. When he saw you, you were smiling so hard that he couldn't help but smile himself.
You dropped your bike in the grass before bouncing up the steps and plopping down on the couch beside him.
"Well, somebody looks happy as hell."
"I am happy as hell," you announced.
He reached over and squeezed your knee. "Why're you so smiley, Shrimp?"
You bit your lip, trying to contain your excitement. "I got a job."
"No way," Kiara grinned.
"That's awesome!" John B nodded. "Doing what?"
JJ's smile widened instantly too, genuinely excited for you. "Yeah, what is it?"
You tucked your legs underneath yourself. "Okay, so my mom's friend knows somebody at this country club on Figure Eight–"
JJ's stomach dropped immediately.
"–and they needed another beverage cart girl for the golf course."
JJ's smile disappeared immediately.
Pope and John B's eyes flicked over to him.
You were still smiling excitedly, completely oblivious as you continued, "Apparently the tips are really good."
"Ooooh girl," Kiara said instantly. "You're gonna make bank."
"Hell yeah she is," Sarah agreed.
JJ immediately hated everything about this. Of course he wanted you to have a job that paid well– why wouldn't he? But the idea of you having to talk to rich Kooks with too much money and too much confidence who were absolutely going to flirt with you nonstop all day made him a little ill.
You looked back over at JJ, still smiling, and immediately noticed his expression.
He quickly forced another grin onto his face. "That's awesome."
You narrowed your eyes slightly, noticing how fast he said it. How fake.
"It's honestly easy. You mostly just drive around handing drinks to drunk golfers," Sarah explained excitedly.
"And rich old men," Cleo added.
Sarah laughed. "Probably very rich."
JJ stiffened beside you.
"Some of them get a little creepy though," Sarah warned. "Like weirdly flirty sometimes... But honestly?" she shrugged. "You just smile politely, take their money, and move on."
You nodded seriously. "I can do that."
JJ looked out toward the marsh instead of at you now, because all he could picture was you in some tiny country club uniform smiling at rich assholes all day while they stared at your legs and handed you hundred dollar bills and asked for your number.
And compared to that…
What the hell was he?
You bumped your knee lightly against his a few minutes later. "You okay?"
"Hm?" He blinked like he hadn't heard you.
"You got quiet."
"I'm fine."
You tilted your head immediately. "You're not fine."
"I am."
"You're doing that thing."
"What thing?"
"The thing where you pretend you're fine but you get all weird and grumpy."
John B snorted loudly into his beer as he overheard and JJ shot him a glare.
You kept watching him carefully now, your smile softening a little. "Jayj."
He sighed through his nose and shrugged. "I just know how Kooks are."
You honestly found it sweet that he cared about you enough to be worried about how they were going to treat you. But you didn't realize that that wasn't the only reason he was stressed.
"JJ," you said gently, "you don't have to worry. I can handle myself."
"I know," he muttered.
But he couldn't stop imagining you being hit on all day and you having to be sweet because it was your job.
Couldn't stop imagining them making you laugh.
Imagining them asking you out.
And the part making his stomach feel sick was the possibility that maybe one day you might actually say yes.
Your first day at the country club honestly flew by.
At first you were nervous, but after about an hour, you realized the job was actually pretty easy. All you had to do was drive around, smile, hand people drinks and get tipped.
And apparently, people tipped a lot, especially when they liked you.
By noon, you already had over a hundred dollars shoved into your little waist pouch and every time somebody handed you another twenty, your shock grew.
A lot of the older guys were harmless, but some definitely weren't. A few stared a little too long and obvious. A few called you things like sweetheart or baby in ways that made your skin crawl slightly.
But you remembered exactly what Sarah told you:
Smile politely. Take their money. Move on.
So that's what you did.
By late afternoon, you were honestly starting to have fun just riding around, especially as your pouch got thicker. Also, everybody seemed to be in a good mood, so it was hard not to be yourself.
You pulled up beside another group of guys around your age and gave them your practiced smile. "You guys need anything?"
One of them looked up immediately, a tan guy with a buzz, wearing expensive sunglasses and probably expensive everything else. He leaned back slightly in his golf cart while the other two guys looked at each other, then back at you.
"Yeah," he said easily. "Can I get a beer?"
"Sure."
You bent down to grab one from the cooler and could practically feel them all watching you.
"I haven't seen you around before," he said.
"I just moved here."
"Oh yeah?" He smiled. "Welcome to the OBX then."
You smiled back and handed him his drink. "Thanks."
"I'm Rafe."
"Y/N."
"Y/N... that's nice. You liking it here so far?"
"Yeah… I mean I grew up spending every summer here so it already kinda feels like home."
His brows raise. "Really? Surprised I've never seen you around. Pretty sure I would've noticed a girl like you."
You laugh softly and JJ would've absolutely hated how immediately Rafe liked the sound.
"Well the last time I was here I was thirteen."
Rafe nodded. "Ah. That explains it," he said, before handing you cash.
You glanced down and your eyes widened. "Fifty bucks?!"
He shrugged casually. "Good service."
You smiled awkwardly. "Wow. Thank you."
Throughout the rest of the afternoon, you kept running into their group again.
Every single time, Rafe tipped.
Another fifty.
Then later, a hundred dollar bill.
"A hundred dollars?!" you laughed in disbelief. "Seriously?"
He smirked a little at your reaction. "You earned it."
You shook your head smiling as you tucked it into your pouch. "Sorry.. just... never got any tips like that at my last job in Argentina."
"You'll get used to it."
You definitely did not think you would.
By the end of your shift, you were vibrating with excitement riding your bike back toward the Chateau.
Everybody was outside by the fire pit when you rolled up.
JJ sat shirtless in a lawn chair, hat backwards, greasy hands wrapped around a beer. There was motor oil smeared across his forearm and cheek and holy hell he looked good. He looked a thousand times better than any Kook in their unnecessarily expensive clothes ever could.
His eyes immediately lifted toward you and softened instantly when he saw how happy you looked and how you were looking right at him.
"Well," he grinned, "looks like somebody had a good first day."
"I had a great day!" you announced dramatically. "I'm filthy stinkin' rich!"
The Pogues laughed and whooped at that.
JJ's stomach tightened in a mix of excitement for you but also nerves. Mostly nerves.
Sarah clapped. "I knew you could do it!"
You hopped off your bike and practically skipped over to them before dropping into the lawn chair beside JJ. "Oh, girl, I did it alright!" You pulled the wad of cash from your pouch and waved it around proudly.
JJ stared at the money in utter disbelief.
Kiara screamed. "Holy shit!"
Pope and Cleo looked at each other, mouths and eyes equally wide.
"I'm not surprised at all," Sarah said, smiling and shaking her head.
John B choked on his beer. "How much is that?"
"Four hundred and fifty bucks, baby!" you said, fanning yourself with it.
Everybody started yelling at once.
"You made four fifty in one day?!"
"Yes!"
"That's insane," Cleo laughed.
"I know right?! Dinner's on me tonight. You guys trying to go to Heyward's? Make it rain on Pope's dad?"
Everybody instantly agreed... Except JJ, who said nothing, still a little stunned silent.
You giggled. "Maybe I'll throw him in a little extra? Pay him back for all the free food me and JJ used to beg him for back in the day?"
Pope, John B and Kiara all laughed at this.
JJ smiled just a little.
You looked over at him smiling so hard your cheeks hurt. "One guy alone tipped me a hundred and fifty dollars total."
Something violently unpleasant twisted immediately in JJ's stomach.
"A hundred and fifty?" John B repeated.
You nodded. "I know!"
Sarah raised an eyebrow. "Was it some creepy old dude?"
You laughed. "No."
"Was he cute?"
JJ immediately went still beside you, holding his breath without meaning to.
You shrugged casually, completely unaware of the way every single Pogue immediately looked at JJ. And the way Sarah suddenly felt terrible for asking that in front of him.
"I mean…" you said slowly, shrugging. "He wasn't ugly."
JJ took a long sip of his beer. A very very long sip. Because some Kook who "wasn't ugly" had the ability to make you all happy and excited like this in a way that he couldn't. Some Kook that he's sure you were bound to see again.
He had felt so close to the possibility of you finally maybe being his the last few days, but if you had any feelings for him at all, you were going to quickly realize that you could do better.
He felt like his heart was actually beginning to break in two the same way it did five years ago.
Ok since a majority of people want a smutty scene in the Hershey's Kisses fic, do we want a loss of virginity trope (for her)? I just already did that in the last fic so idkk
Warnings: Alcohol, weed, mentions of JJ's abuse, mentions of masturbation
Word Count: 6.1k
First Part
You finally woke up in JJ's room around noon.
Your body was at peak soreness from moving and your brain felt like a pile of mush thanks to the copious amounts of alcohol that you'd consumed yesterday while celebrating with the Pogues.
For a few foggy seconds, you just stared at the ceiling, confused, until you began to hear your friends' muffled laughter outside.
They all sounded older, but it was so unmistakably them you felt like you could burst from excitement. Because you finally were finally back in your home state, at the Chateau again and immediately accepted as part of the group like you'd never left. A group that felt more like family than ever and with two new additions that you were already so excited to get to know.
You breathed in deep and immediately smelled breakfast being cooked... and then JJ.
You looked around his room and couldn't help but giggle and shove your face into his pillow, stomach fluttering stupidly as flashes of the night before replayed in your head.
The way you'd laughed together and teased each other like nothing had changed at all.
The way he'd looked at you, so soft and happy and disbelieving that you could almost feel it physically.
The way you, without a doubt, were still crushing on him even after all these years. And you already knew it was going to be even worse now because, holy shit, he got even more prettier than you could've ever imagined.
More handsome. Painfully so.
"Jesus Christ," you mumbled to yourself, muffled by the pillow.
You finally forced yourself up and shuffled toward the kitchen in one of JJ's t-shirts and a pair of shorts, hair messy as hell.
The second JJ looked up from his breakfast, he almost choked at the sight of you.
He'd spent all morning wondering if you coming back was just some strange dream or if he was actually losing it.
He definitely was losing it a little though, because you were so stunning now that it almost scared him... especially right now, all sleepy and casually wearing his clothes.
This girl who had genuinely made him want to settle down and build a life for the two of you at the age of thirteen.
The girl who, without meaning to, had shattered his heart into a billion pieces by moving across the world and then just randomly popped back into his life without warning.
He took a sip of orange juice, tried to pull it together, and smiled wide like he wasn't internally combusting.
"There she is," he grinned. "Mornin', Sleeping Beauty."
You giggled softly and now it was your turn to pull yourself together. "Morning Jayj."
Then you exchanged good mornings with everyone else.
JJ watched you walk toward the sink and turn on the faucet before bending down to drink straight from it, exactly the way you used to when you were kids. He couldn't help but smile at that.
And somebody would have to physically cover his eyes to keep him from staring.
Every single person in the kitchen noticed but you.
Sarah and Cleo looked at Kiara.
Kiara looked at Pope.
Then everybody looked at John B, who repressed a snort as he shook his head and went back to eating his cereal.
Everything slipped frighteningly easily back into place like the last five years had only been a weird pause instead of half a decade apart.
Whenever JJ wasn't working at the car shop he'd recently gotten a job at, you followed each other around like lost puppies. Just like you used to.
You always ended up beside each other somehow. On the HMS Pogue, in the Twinkie, during movies or meals, around the fire, on the dock.
He stole bites off your plate constantly and acted offended when you did it back even though he was the one who started it.
You stole his hats and he'd pretend to be annoyed, but secretly he loved seeing you wearing them more than anything. And he especially loved when you'd "forget" to give them back.
You teased each other relentlessly and never stopped bringing up childhood memories, but somehow neither of you could bring yourselves to mention the fake relationship you'd had when you were kids. Because now the feelings didn't feel silly anymore.
They felt terrifyingly real.
In fact, JJ had literally begged everybody not to "make things weird," which, of course, only made them want to make things weird even more.
You spent hours at the beach together, trying to outsurf each other, wandering the shoreline looking for shells and shark teeth, or laying side by side in the sand talking until the sky turned orange. And trying not to get caught staring at each other.
Everybody else caught it though.
You started learning each other all over again, especially on nights where you stayed up late talking together after everyone else went to bed. Usually just about silly things, but then, as you grew closer again, you'd both open up about things you'd never tell anybody else.
One night, you sat out on the dock, everything a little warm and fuzzy from the joint you'd just shared. You were leaning against JJ's shoulder, playing absentmindedly with the strings of his bracelet and he was trying very hard to be cool about it.
"I was really miserable when we first moved," you admitted quietly.
He glanced down at you. "Yeah?"
You nodded a little. "Really miserable. Eventually I did love it there. Like really love it and I made lots of friends. But at first... I dunno... it felt like somebody ripped me out of my life." You laughed soft and sad. "I didn't know anybody. I barely spoke the language. Everything felt confusing and different. I felt super alone for a while."
JJ frowned a little, but he didn't say anything. Just let you talk.
"My mom was working constantly. I didn't know how to explain to anybody there why I was so homesick because technically Argentina was so, so beautiful and so exciting and all these amazing things but…" Your voice softened. "I missed my friends in Durham. And I missed this place so much... I missed all of you..." You looked up at him. "Especially you."
His chest tightened hard enough to hurt and he immediately wrapped an arm loosely around your shoulders. "I missed you too."
You smiled immediately, nuzzling closer to him, wondering if he could feel the warmth that was suddenly radiating off your cheeks.
He looked out at the marsh for a long second, unable to stop smiling like an idiot, then squeezed your arm gently. "You got through it though."
You nodded. "Yeah."
JJ looked down at you for a second. "Long as you stick around, I'll make sure you're never lonely ever again."
You tilted your head up at him and saw that smirk that made you question the sweetness of the comment. "Oh yeah? And how exactly are you gonna do that?"
"Easy." He started counting off on his fingers.
"I'm gonna annoy the absolute hell outta you every day."
You laughed quietly.
"I'm serious. Like, it'll be constant. You won't know peace."
"Oh shit."
He put up another finger. "I'm gonna follow you around everywhere." Another finger. "I'm gonna steal your snacks."
You squinted. "You already do both those things."
"Exactly. Operation: Make sure Y/N is never lonely ever again has already commenced, you just didn't know it yet."
You shook your head, smiling again. "You're so ridiculous. I can't–"
Another finger. "And I'll probably start climbing through your window uninvited all the time too. Like I used to."
You giggled. "I wouldn't mind that."
JJ's grin faltered for half a second, just long enough for his chest to do something stupid. Then he recovered quickly. "Oh, you say that now, Shrimp. But I'm not a kid anymore."
"What's that supposed to mean?" you asked, frowning playfully.
"It means you're gonna wake up at like midnight and see some big scary man climbing through your window."
You burst out laughing immediately. "A big scary man? You?"
"Yeah. You'll be terrified."
"Oh my god. Somehow I think I'll survive, Jayj."
He grinned down at you. "Maybe." Then he bumped his knee against yours. "But, anyways, give it like two weeks before you're begging me to leave you alone."
"Nah," you said softly. "I don't think I will."
That answer stayed with JJ long after the conversation ended.
A few nights later, it was his turn to vent.
The two of you had had a few drinks and the liquor was tasting like you needed to walk.
So you did. Far.
You wandered aimlessly down the road from the Chateau, talking and laughing and being way too loud for a Tuesday night.
"Well," JJ said when you ended up at the Boneyard, already kicking off his shoes, "guess we gotta swim now."
You laughed, pulling your shirt over your head, completely oblivious to what that did to him. "Duh."
He forced himself to look away, yanking off his own shirt.
And you stared just as hard.
Moments later, the two of you were in the water in your bathing suits, the ocean dark and warm around you.
JJ splashed you in the face immediately.
You gasped. "Oh, you asshole–"
Then something brushed against your foot and you shrieked so loud it echoed across the beach.
He threw his head back laughing while you launched yourself toward him in blind panic, grabbing onto his shoulders.
"What?!" he laughed, hands grabbing your waist to steady you while your feet kicked uselessly beneath the water. "What happened?!"
You pulled yourself closer. "Something TOUCHED me!"
JJ's eyes widened in fake horror. "Oh. My. God. There's things in the ocean!?"
You tried to glare at him, but it was suddenly difficult to focus on anything except the fact that he was holding you like he was. At the feeling of his warm, calloused palms pressed against your bare skin.
"JJ... shut up." You mumbled as if you weren't actively melting in his hands.
He smiled and you both stared at each other for a moment, faces illuminated only by moonlight, suddenly realizing how close you actually were. Then a small wave pushed you even closer and suddenly all the fear you had of the ocean critters left your body.
You couldn't help but let out a nervous giggle and JJ's lips curled up a little more at the sound.
"You just gonna hang on me like a koala the whole time we're out here?" he teased softly.
You nodded, biting your lip and looping your arms around his neck. "Mmhm."
"That right?"
You nodded once. "That okay?"
"Yeah," he said quietly. "That's cool."
Neither of you moved away. Or closer. You just floated there very aware of how easy it would be to close the distance, but way too scared to make a move.
You could've just floated there forever if the world would allow it.
So could JJ.
But, of course, his nerves and the urge to be an asshole took him over like he was possessed.
"You know," he said casually, "it's kinda like… prime shark feeding time right now. But if we stay like this they'll probably eat me first."
He regretted it immediately, because your mouth dropped open as fear overtook you again. You quickly wriggled out of his grip before swimming toward shore as fast as possible.
"JJ, what is wrong with you!?"
He winced and then began laughing so hard he almost swallowed saltwater.
You practically threw yourself onto the sand, breathing hard while he strolled calmly out a minute later.
He flopped down beside you and you punched him in the arm.
"Ow."
"Why are you still like this?"
He looked over, smiling dopily. "Like what, sharkbait?"
"You have literally always tried to scare me about sharks! Why!?"
"Because it's funny as fuck."
"You're the worst. Like... actually the worst."
"My bad." He grinned and carefully brushed soggy hair away from your cheeks. "Also, by the way, if you're scared of sharks, violently splashing around is probably not the move."
You huffed and rolled your eyes but he could see that tiny smile peaking through your annoyed expression.
He finished fixing your hair as best he could and reached into his backpack, pulling out a small bottle of Bacardi. "Peace offering?"
You narrowed your eyes. "Maybe."
He unscrewed the cap and took a sip before handing it to you.
"You seriously suck."
He just grinned wide and cocky at that. "So my plan to annoy the hell out of you is working?"
"Very well, actually."
"Damn." He started standing dramatically. "Guess I should leave you alone then."
"Noooo," you laughed immediately, grabbing his wrist before he could get up.
JJ looked down at your hand around his wrist for half a second before sitting back down. "Thought so."
You rolled your eyes, smiling into the bottle before taking a sip.
You talked a little more after that. The kind of talking that only seemed to happen late at night and beyond tipsy.
"So..." you said carefully. "Where did your dad go?"
JJ leaned back on his hands. "Ol' Luke?"
You nodded
He snorted once humorlessly. "Yucatán."
Your eyebrows lifted. "Yucatán? Why?"
"Running from the law."
You frowned a little.
JJ shrugged like it didn't matter. "It's fine though. He got way worse after you left."
Your chest tightened immediately, because you couldn't imagine how he could get any worse. "How?"
JJ still wasn't looking at you.
"He'd disappear for days. Get drunk. Did a lot more than just getting drunk... Coke. Pills. Probably already did all that but he stopped trying to hide that part completely." He shrugged like it didn't matter. "He started fights over nothin' more often... Normal shit."
Your heart cracked a little hearing how easily he said it, like he'd convinced himself it was normal.
"He smashed up the house a couple times." He laughed softly again, more bitter now. "Once, he beat my ass because I took the blame for sinking this Kook asshole, Topper's boat, and I needed money for restitution. Then I got the money and he decided 'screw the restitution,' and that he wanted to spend it on gambling or drugs or whatever-the-fuck instead. And when I tried to take the money back, he beat my ass for that too.. Messed up my ribs real bad."
Your eyes began to burn.
"I finally gave it right back to him that day though. Beat his ass... Told him I wasn't scared of him anymore." He scoffed and you could see a muscle in his jaw twitch. "I swear, if he tried anything again I was gonna actually snap. Do something I really regretted."
You carefully slid your hand over his and he flinched at first, mind still back with his sixteen year old self. Then he relaxed.
He glanced down at your hand on top of his and his expression softened just a bit, like the touch healed something in him. "It's whatever though... He's gone now."
Gone. Like that erased the trauma and the undeserved hell he'd lived through all his life.
"JJ," you whispered.
He finally glanced over and immediately noticed your expression and the way that your glossy eyes shined in the dim light. The way your lip began to wobble slightly.
"Hey," he said quickly. "Don't do that."
"Do what?"
"Look at me like that."
"Like what?"
"Like you're sad for me."
Your throat tightened. "I'm just... really sorry, Jayj. I hate that for you."
"Hey, no, I'm serious. It's fine." He said it like he was embarrassed for dumping all that on you.
"It's not fine."
He looked away again and the breeze lifted his hair softly as he stared out at the water.
And you couldn't help but think that he was most beautiful thing you'd ever seen in your life, and not in just the way he looked. Your chest physically hurt at the idea of anybody treating him that way.
Especially the person that was supposed to love him the most.
Without thinking, you scooted closer and wrapped your arms around him tightly, like if you held him tight enough, all the love you felt for him could replace all the unnecessary hate and heartbreak that he'd endured over the years.
He froze like he didn't know what to do with it, then melted into you completely, hugging you back like he needed to be held way more than he expected to. Like nobody had held him like this in a long time. Or maybe even ever.
Suddenly he wasn't embarrassed anymore, because you made him feel safe and heard in a way nobody ever had.
"You didn't deserve that," you whispered, tucking your face into his shoulder.
His jaw tightened immediately and you felt him swallow hard.
"Nobody shoulda treated you like that." Your voice cracked slightly at the end.
He let out the smallest shaky laugh and rested his cheek lightly against the top of your head, his own eyes filling a little.
"Jesus, Shrimp."
"I mean it."
He was quiet for another second.
"You're gonna make me emotional and shit," he mumbled into your hair.
You huffed out a small laugh and pulled back to look at him, before reaching up carefully and brushing some damp hair back from his forehead.
And then, because you couldn't help yourself, you leaned forward and pressed a tiny, lingering kiss to his cheek.
When you pulled back, JJ stared at you for a second like he forgot how to function completely. Then slowly, helplessly, the prettiest, warmest smile spread across his face.
You wanted to kiss him right then and there.
And, god, he wanted to too.
But instead he nervously cleared his throat and pulled his phone out of the side pocket of his bag before he could do anything stupid.
"Oh shit..." He squinted at the screen. "12:30."
You sighed. "Already?"
"Yeah. Gotta get up in like six hours."
You groaned dramatically and fell backward into the sand. "That sucks."
JJ snorted. "As much as I'd love to let you become one with the beach, we should probably head back."
"I guess."
He stood and offered you a hand. "C'mon. One last swim to get the sand off?"
You agreed and the two of you were back in the water, lazily floating beside each other. No shark jokes this time. Just quiet, drunk laughter and that strange, electric tension neither of you seemed to know what to do with.
And from that point on, it only got worse.
If you weren't together, you were texting.
If you weren't texting, you were calling.
And if you weren't calling, one of you was probably thinking about the other anyway.
A lot.
More than either of you probably should've been.
Enough that sometimes JJ would lay awake in bed with his hand in his boxers staring at the ceiling replaying tiny things you did over and over in his head– your hands on his arms, the way you chewed on your lip as you looked up at him all doe eyed, the way you hummed happily when he massaged sunscreen onto your shoulders.
Then he'd groan into his pillow afterward, annoyed at himself for being so completely gone for you.
And you weren't much better.
One hot Monday afternoon, you were laying in bed in nothing but your panties and one of his t-shirts, hugging the stuffed shark he'd given you when you were ten and staring at the pictures Sarah had taken of the two of you at the beach yesterday.
Your cheeks still felt warm from where your mind had wandered the last twenty minutes... and where your hand might've wandered.
One photo in particular kept making your stomach flip: JJ sitting beside you shirtless and sunburnt and smiling at you instead of the camera.
You bit your lip and groaned into your own pillow.
This was getting ridiculous.
Suddenly your phone began to ring and your heart jumped when you saw his name.
"Hello?"
"Sup."
You laughed immediately. "Sup witchu?"
"Just calling to check on my little burn victim."
Oh, your sunburn.
A smile immediately tugged at your lips. "Aw. That's so sweet, JJ," you teased.
Now he was smiling. "Yeah, well, I feel partially responsible."
You snorted.
"Alright. Mostly. Mostly responsible. "
"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I only look like a lobster in a few places."
JJ groaned. "Oh no."
You laughed. "Oh yes."
"I put sunscreen everywhere. I was very thorough. Overly thorough."
"You definitely were not."
He let out a dramatic sigh. "Shit. I am so sorry, princess."
You couldn't stop smiling. "As you should be."
"I'll never forgive myself."
"Only God can forgive you."
JJ laughed. "How bad is it really?"
"It's fine. Just uneven."
"Sorry. I promise I'll do better next time if given the opportunity."
You giggled and it made him smile harder.
"I might..." You rolled onto your back across your bed. "What're you doing?"
"Working."
There was a metallic clang somewhere on his end.
"What're you doing?"
"Bored."
He laughed softly. "That's tragic."
"It is tragic."
"Come hang out with me."
Your eyebrows lifted. "At work?"
"Yeah."
"Your boss won't care?"
"Nah, he's cool. As long as I get my shit done."
You twirled a strand of hair around your finger, excited now. "I won't distract you."
There wasn't any universe where you wouldn't be distracting to him.
"Mmhm, sure."
You giggled again as you stood and walked over to your closet. "What? I won't. Promise."
"Just get over here, Shrimp."
You decided to walk since your house was barely a mile away from the shop.
When you peaked into one of the open garage bays, you immediately spotted JJ lying underneath a car, jeans and boots all covered in oil.
You quietly walked over and crawled underneath beside him and JJ nearly smacked his head on the undercarriage.
"What the f–" Then he saw it was you and his face relaxed immediately, a smile across his lips. "Oh. Hey, girl."
You smiled back. "Hi."
"You look sweaty."
"Yeah, probably 'cause it's like a hundred degrees outside."
"Fair."
You nudged his foot with yours. "You look sweaty too."
He nudged back. "I'm working."
You stared up at the bottom of the truck for a second as he went back to work, still smiling.
"You know what I could go for right now?"
JJ didn't look away from what he was doing. "What?"
"Ice cream."
He glanced over. "Ice cream?"
"Mhm." You reached over and wiped some grease off his cheek. "I saw that the place we used to go to as kids is still open."
"Salty Scoops?"
"Yeah."
JJ tightened a bolt before sliding himself out from beneath the truck. Then he looked back at you.
"Let's go after I get off."
Your smile widened. "Really?"
"Yeah. I'll pay."
Your smile turned teasing. "Like a good boyfriend should."
He froze for a second, a little caught off guard by that even though you saying things like that used to be so normal. Warmth immediately bloomed in his chest and a slow smirk pulled at his lips. He grabbed a clean rag off a nearby workbench before crouching back down beside you.
"Oh, we're still doing that?"
You rolled onto your side to look up at him. "If it means you buy things for me."
He barked out a laugh. "Wowww."
"You offered."
"Yeah, yeah." He crawled back underneath the truck beside you, still smiling to himself. "Using me for my money, huh?"
You snorted. "What money?"
"That's actually a really good point."
The two of you dissolved into laughter.
The rest of the afternoon flew by. You sat nearby while he worked, handing him tools, talking his ear off as usual and actually learning a few things.
You distracted him exactly as much as he'd predicted you would, but somehow he still got everything finished in record time.
After he clocked out, you climbed onto the back of his bike and both of your hearts did a weird little thing when your arms wrapped around his waist.
"Ready?" He asked without looking at you, because he couldn't control the stupid look on his face.
You were smiling equally as painfully hard. "Yeah."
The ride only lasted a few minutes, but neither of you wanted it to end, honestly.
You got two cones and sat across from each other at the same outdoor table you used to sit at years ago.
Neither of you stopped talking long enough to actually focus on your ice cream. Every story reminded one of you of another story. Every memory led to another memory.
At one point your ice cream began to drip down your arm after being neglected by your big mouth.
"Oh, shit."
You lifted your arm, and licked the melted streak away with one slow slide of your tongue, which JJ's eyes tracked the entire time.
He immediately felt terrible about what that one little innocent action did to him. He swallowed hard and tried to talk and listen, but now he noticed every single thing your mouth did. Every time you smiled at him around your ice cream and then licked your lips afterwards, or ran your tongue along the side.
He was almost relieved when you were done, even though he didn't want to have to take you home.
But he definitely didn't mind having your arms wrapped around his waist again. And neither did you.
"You should come say hi to my mom," you said as you hopped off his bike in your driveway. "She's been dying to see you."
JJ looked surprised. "Really?"
"Of course!"
"Okay. Yeah. I'll come in for a sec."
You walked into the kitchen and your mom looked up from the stove, where she was making dinner. Her eyes widened, recognizing that messy blond hair immediately.
"Is that JJ Maybank!?"
JJ laughed. "Hi, Ms. Y/L/N."
"Oh my goodness," she said, crossing the kitchen and pulling him into a tight hug. "Look at you." She pulled back to look at him again, cupping his cheek in one hand. "Good lord, you got handsome."
"Mom," you snorted, even though she was right.
JJ gave her a lopsided grin. "Why thank you."
She smiled warmly. "It's good to see you, sweetheart."
His face softened at how genuine she sounded and the way he smiled, a little shy, almost made him look like a kid again. "Good to see you too."
He ended up staying for dinner. Then a second dessert. Then another hour talking around the kitchen table and your mom showing him a billion pictures of you back in Argentina from over the years.
Eventually the two said their goodbyes and you walked him out, even though neither of you really wanted the day to end. As usual.
You hooked your thumbs into your pockets. "I'll come by the Chateau tomorrow."
He nodded. "Cool."
"Thanks for the ice cream."
"Anytime."
You giggled suddenly, tilting your head as you looked up at him. "It's crazy seeing you actually pay for sweets now."
He nodded, laughing a little. "Still a provider."
The familiar line hit both of you at the exact same time and suddenly the laughter faded a bit, because both of you remembered the last time he said it. Right before that one stupid three second kiss.
You both wondered if the other even remembered it or if it had become one of those childhood memories that faded away over time.
But, of course, neither of you were brave enough to ask, so instead you smiled. And he smiled back. And after another second he started backing toward his bike.
"Alright. See ya tomorrow, Shrimp."
"See ya tomorrow, Jayj."
Your mom watched out the window with the same knowing smile she'd had since you were kids as you sat on the porch steps and watched him ride down the road.
The answer to if either of you remembered the kiss came faster than expected... The next day, actually.
That night, everybody was in the Chateau living room watching a scary movie. It was significantly less scary than it was stupid, but everybody was very invested anyway.
The killer burst into the frame and you jumped so hard that you almost threw you and JJ's bowl of popcorn.
He barked out a laugh beside you. "Oh my god. That got you good."
You glared at him. "Shut up. It was scary."
"Yeah? You ok? You need to hold my hand, princess?" he teased, holding it out dramatically.
You rolled your eyes and smacked it away. Even though, yes, you would love to hold his hand. "No."
"Okay. Offer still stands."
"Thank you."
He grabbed a handful of popcorn from the bowl on your lap and shoved it in his mouth. "Just trying to be a good boyfriend."
You huffed out a laugh at this, cheeks warming and unable to help the little smile that spread across your face as you looked back at the TV. "Appreciate the effort."
From the floor, Sarah held up a plastic bag to Kiara.
"You want a Kiss?"
You both froze completely, faces dropping.
She nodded at the king sized Kit Kat bar his Kiara's hand. "I'll trade you for a piece of that."
"Deal."
The world seemed to stop when you both heard those words. The words that had repeated in your brains a billion times over the years.
Neither of you dared to look at each other. You both stared very intently at the TV for approximately two seconds...
Then your eyes flicked sideways at the exact same time.
A quiet laugh immediately bubbled up in your chest.
JJ's mouth twitched.
You both looked away again and neither of you were able to pay much attention to what was happening on the screen. You spent the rest of the movie trying to regain control of yourselves every time your eyes accidentally met.
By the time the credits rolled, neither of you had any idea how the movie ended. But you both knew one thing: Neither of you had forgotten.
One by one, everyone started standing up and stretching and picking up their trash.
"That movie was so stupid."
"Corniest shit I've ever seen."
"I want my two hours back."
Meanwhile, you and JJ stayed exactly where you were, unsure of what to do with yourselves now.
So JJ did what he usually did when he didn't know what to do.
"Wanna smoke?" His eyes flicked toward you.
You nodded immediately. "Yeah. Sure."
He grabbed a preroll from his room and you quietly followed him outside to the porch.
You plopped onto the couch and both of you propped your feet up on the coffee table.
For a second the silence felt strangely awkward. Not uncomfortable, just aware of what you were both thinking about and wandering if the other was going to bring it up.
Then your eyes met and you laughed softly.
"Should've seen your face," you mumbled.
He snorted. "Should've seen yours."
You smiled down at the joint in your hand. "I kinda wondered if you even remembered."
JJ looked over instantly. "It was my first kiss. How could I forget?"
It was way more than just that though.
You looked up and his expression was almost offended. The warmth that spread through your chest was actually ridiculous.
"Yeah."
He laughed quietly. "Honestly..." Then he stopped himself.
"What?"
He rubbed the back of his neck. "I kinda thought about it an insane amount."
Your brows raised a little. "Really?"
"I mean I...uh...I think any kid would," he said quieter, shrugging.
You nodded. "Yeah... I did too."
Now it was JJ's turn to look surprised. "You did?"
"Yeah."
You both dissolved into quiet, nervous giggles, then the laughter died and JJ's expression became a bit more serious.
"So…" he said casually, even though his stomach twisted a little. "You kiss any Argentina boys while you were away?"
He couldn't even look at you as he waited for the answer.
You snorted. "Maybe."
JJ hated that answer immediately. Even though he'd definitely had his fair share of...more than kisses... since you'd been gone himself.
He forced a dramatic gasp. "Baby... how could you?!"
You covered your mouth and laughed harder at that, cheeks quickly turning a bright shade of pink at the name.
"I thought we had something," he pouted. It was meant to be a joke even though to him, it was definitely not.
You reached over and squeezed his hand, playing along. "They meant nothing, Jayj, I promise."
This was also meant to be a joke. And it was also not.
And it pleased him way more than it should have even if he wasn't sure if it was true.
"Good."
You snorted softly.
He traced his thumb against your knuckles without really thinking about it, and your stomach flipped all over again.
"Because you know," he said after a minute, "we never really broke up."
"Oh my god," you mumbled, smiling helplessly down at your hands.
He grinned at the look on your face and let go, crossing his arms over his chest. "Just saying."
You shook your head. "We were actually ridiculous."
"Were?" he said immediately, raising an eyebrow.
You giggled. "Fair. We're still pretty ridiculous."
"Yup. That'll never change."
"Nope."
The conversation faded after that, but not because there wasn't anything left to say. There was just too much and neither of you were sure if you could.
The porch light cast a soft glow across both of your faces as smoke floated in the air around you and you both found yourselves staring at each other.
"What?" You nudged his foot with yours.
He blinked. "Huh?"
"You're staring."
"That's crazy, 'cause so were you."
"You started it."
"You started it."
You rolled your eyes. "What is it?"
He just looked at you, smiling a little, for a second too long. Then another.
Your chest squeezed at the intensity of it and you nudged his foot again. "Seriously. What, JJ?"
He shook his head and shrugged. "Nothin'."
You immediately kicked his foot. "No, now you gotta tell me."
JJ laughed. "Seriously. Nothin'."
You narrowed your eyes at the very obvious lie. "JJ."
"I was zoned out."
He watched you press the joint to your lips. Then his eyes lingered there as you exhaled, a little too obviously.
You noticed and swallowed a little. "Yeah, ok," you said, almost a whisper.
His eyes flicked up when he realized he'd been staring at lips and you held his gaze another second before passing him the joint. And this time when your fingers brushed, just barely, it hit you both harder than it ever had.
You watched JJ's eyes flick down toward your hands now. Saw his throat bob slightly as he swallowed. Then he looked away. Then back at you again.
You leaned your head back against the cushion, smiling soft and a little dopey and he couldn't help mirroring you.
"You're doing it again," you mumbled.
"Doin' what?"
"Looking at me funny."
His eyes narrowed. "Maybe you look funny."
You giggled and kicked his foot again but this time you left it there resting lightly against his.
He looked down and smiled a bit more.
Then after a second he cleared his throat. "Y/N, I..." His voice trailed off.
Something about the way he said your name made your heart beat a little faster. "Yeah?"
"I, uh..." He breathed out a laugh that sounded almost nervous. "I just—"
The screen door burst open.
"Oh my god, I'm starving." Kiara's voice shattered the moment completely.
John B and Sarah followed right behind her.
You and JJ jumped apart like you'd been caught doing something illegal. But neither of you knew what exactly.
Sarah immediately looked between the two of you and smirked. "Y'all look cozy."
Your eyes flicked to each other.
"I am pretty cozy," you said with a shrug, trying to act like your heart wasn't beating out of your chest. You looked over at him. "You cozy?"
He blinked a few times and tried to do the same. "Yeah. Yeah, super cozy."
John B looked between you and pointed toward the joint. "Can I hit that?"
"It's basically gone," JJ said, voice a little choked from nerves. "But go ahead."
Kiara plopped into a chair and placed her stash bag on the table. "I'll roll another one."
Within seconds everybody was talking over each other, but all you could do is wonder what JJ was about to say.
And all he could do is wonder if he was really about to say it.
I dont know if youve heard of the movie Obsession but I watched it this weekend and couldnt stop thinking about your You series the entire time 🫣 but jj and y/n are both the obsessed ones
Anyways I'm rereading it now! I think youd love that movie
STOPPPPP I also saw that movie this weekend and thought the same thing?!! I'M SQUEALING it's one of my favorite movies I've ever seen and the fact that you saw it and thought of my writing is EVERYTHING to me
That one part at the end (idk how to explain it without spoiling things but maybe you know what I'm talking about? The 3rd wish?) reminded me so much of them in the last chapter
Cleo and Sarah are practically leaning forward in their lawn chairs as they wait for JJ to realize that the girl who got out of the Twinkie is you.
You laugh at something John B says, and JJ feels genuinely stupid for a second because he can't stop staring. Not just because you're absolutely stunning but because something about that laugh is so familiar and he can't figure out what it is for the life of him.
Pope and Kiara practically crash into you in a group hug.
"Oh my god, hi! I missed you guys!!"
JJ looks around slowly. "Wait, who is that? Do I know her?"
Sarah and Cleo smile at each other, both trying not to laugh.
"Is she what he picked up?" he asks quietly. "Is she the surprise or something? What is this… a blind date?"
Cleo smirks. "Maybe destiny."
He scoffs. "I'm so fucking confused right now. What does that even mean? Please stop being weird and just tell me what's going on."
Before anyone can answer, you glance in their direction, your eyes landing on a familiar messy blond head of hair... that's on a very unfamiliar body... and your smile drops as you take him in, then comes back even wider.
"JJ," you whisper, chest absolutely squeezing.
He looks back over and sees you take off toward him at lightning speed.
"Who the hell is–"
"JJ!" You throw your arms around him so hard you nearly knock him over, squealing so loud he thinks his ear drums might burst.
He catches you on instinct, hands grabbing your waist, and you laugh against his shoulder.
"Hi?" he says, completely thoroughly confused as you squeeze him tighter.
His voice is so much deeper. And you realize he has zero idea who you are which makes you giggle more.
And yeah. Yep. He knows that giggle.
He pulls back slightly, staring down at your smiling face and you see it hit him all at once.
Holy. Fucking. Shit.
JJ's face breaks into the biggest smile anybody's seen from him in weeks. Maybe months. Maybe even years.
"No way," he breathes, hands flying to your cheeks, gently holding your face there.
Yep, that's you alright.
"Holy shit. Y/N."
You beam up at him. "Hi, Jayj."
He laughs in disbelief before hugging you again, tighter this time.
"Holy shit," he repeats into your hair. "It– it's you. What the hell!?"
You squeal again in shock as he lifts you up and spins you like he used to do but... oh lord, he's way stronger now.
Behind you, the Pogues look deeply entertained.
"I told you he'd be happy," Kiara says, smug as ever.
JJ hardly hears her and when he finally lets go, he keeps his hands on your arms like he's making sure you're actually there. Real. With him. This girl he hasn't stopped thinking about and practically mourned all these years.
Your hands find his biceps and you swallow a little because those are definitely not the arms he had last time you saw him.
"You're back? For the summer?"
"Yeah, I'm back." You nod. "I'm back... permanently, actually."
JJ just stares at you, and for a second he honestly thinks he misheard.
"Wait." His hands tighten slightly around your arms. "What?"
You laugh. "What?"
His eyes narrow suspiciously. "Permanently?"
"Oh." Your smile grows. "Yeah. My mom got a new job. We both missed it here a lot."
JJ just stares, processing that information.
"In Durham?"
"Nope. Here."
His eyes go even wider. "Here here?"
You chew your lip, heart bursting at the fact that he's so excited. "Yeah, JJ. Here here."
"On Kildaire?"
You laugh. "On Kildaire. That's where here is, right?"
He opens his mouth, probably to make some smartass comment, but nothing comes out. His brain is way too all over the place to form a proper sentence now.
Behind you, Sarah and Cleo glance at each other again, both trying very hard not to lose it at the fact that JJ's acting exactly how the other Pogues said he would.
And at the fact that neither of them has ever seen him look at anybody the way he's looking at you. Ever.
"No fucking way," he manages.
You scrunch your nose. "Yes fucking way."
"Nuh uh."
"Yuh huh."
"Damn. Wow. So... so like Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall?"
You nod. "Mmhm, we're gonna have plenty of time to catch up."
He breathes out a stunned laugh, letting go of your arms finally and running a hand through his hair before shaking his head in disbelief. "Guess so."
Kiara snorts loudly. "Oh, girl, we have a lot to catch up on. You have no idea."
You look over at her, very intrigued. "Oh yeah?"
Pope nods, very very seriously. "Oh yeah."
"A shit ton," John B adds.
You look back at JJ. Then your eyes flick down and your jaw drops when you notice the shark tooth dangling from his neck. "Wait... No way."
He follows your gaze.
You reach up and run your thumb along the tooth. "Is this the necklace I gave you?"
He nods, melting at the feeling of your knuckles brushing against his chest. "Oh. Yeah. Told you I loved it."
Sarah and Cleo exchange another surprised glance with each other, realizing where the necklace that they've never seen him take off came from.
Everybody feels like they're watching a soap opera unfold in real time.
"This too," JJ mumbles, almost embarrassed for some reason as he fidgets with the worn and faded bracelet that has barely left his wrist over the last few years.
You gasp and poke your bottom lip out a little. "Holy shit."
He stares at you another second too long, because you've changed so much it makes his head spin a little. Because you were always cute, but now...
"You got tall," you say suddenly.
JJ smirks, a little dopey. "Yeah, that happens."
You roll your eyes, smiling. "Oh wow, still a smartass. That hasn't changed, huh?"
"No, it has not." John B chimes in and everybody nods in agreement.
Again, JJ doesn't hear a word they say.
You glance down again without meaning too, unable to help yourself. "Damn. When did that happen? You got kinda… ripped."
JJ looks down like he forgot he was shirtless. He tries not to grin at that and fails miserably.
John B slides a hand down his face. "Don't tell him that."
Sarah smiles. "Too late."
JJ flexes one arm dramatically. "Oh, these ol things?"
You burst out laughing. "Oh my god."
He flexes harder. "Yeah, I just be… doin' stuff. Just kinda happened. Always told you it would."
You roll your eyes hard and it only makes him smile more. "Still cocky as hell too, I see."
He shrugs. "Just stating facts."
You're both quiet for a moment, just taking each other in as the Pogues laugh quietly around you. Your smiles soften a little as more and more memories come rushing back.
"You look…" He shakes his head once, grinning as he tries to find the words. "Different."
You look down at yourself now. "Good different or bad different?"
He shakes his head again, quicker. "Not bad different."
Your cheeks warm and JJ feels heat crawl up the back of his neck at the way your eyes glitter up at him. Which is ridiculous because he doesn't get nervous around girls. Ever. But you're looking at him all warm and familiar and happy, and suddenly he feels thirteen again.
"I can't believe it's actually you," he says softly.
You shake your head slowly. "Me neither."
After another second of just looking at each other, he grins again like he caught himself being serious for too long.
"Sooo Argentina, huh?"
You laugh. "Yeah."
"How was that?"
"Hot. Loud. Kinda crazy."
"Sounds familiar."
You tilt your head as you look up at him in that way that always drove him crazy. Might drive him even crazier now. "You still surf?"
"Obviously."
"You still a psycho?"
All the pogues chime in.
"Yep!"
"He's still a disaster."
"He steals a little less now though so that's good."
"Oh my god." You shake your head, laughing harder as memories of all his little 'free 99' gifts come rushing back. "That is good."
Before you can stop yourself, you throw your arms back around him.
He hugs you back gently, smiling so hard his cheeks hurt.
"I missed you," you say into his shoulder.
His chest squeezes again. "Yeah?"
You nod against him.
"I missed you too," he says instantly, like he'd been waiting five years to be able to say that.
You finally pull back and glance toward Sarah and Cleo. "Oh my god. I haven't even introduced myself. Sorry!"
They both laugh and shake their heads.
"All good, girl," Cleo smiles.
You walk over and pull them each into a quick hug.
"Hi. I'm Y/N."
"Cleo."
"Sarah."
Then you smile at Sarah. "I can't believe it took me this long to meet John B's wife."
Sarah smirks and points between you and JJ. "I was literally about to say the same thing."
Your hand flies over your mouth and you burst out laughing once again.
JJ's face goes bright red. "Oh my god."
Everybody starts cackling, all having been wondering when somebody was going to bring it up.
Pope nearly doubles over. "You two are still together right?"
"Stop," JJ grumbles.
Kiara is laughing too hard to stand properly.
"What? You had no problem calling her that five years ago. You'd go around telling random people–"
"PLEASE stop."
You can barely breathe from laughing. While JJ looks like he wants to launch himself directly into the marsh and never come out.
John B rolls the cooler over and starts handing out beers. You take one happily and crack it open. JJ snatches it out of John B's hand, still unable to look at anybody.
John B raises his own dramatically. "Ladies and gentlemen. Today is a historic occasion."
"JB," JJ groans.
"I'd like to propose a toast in honor of the return of JJ Maybank's wife, my little cousin Y/N."
Everybody immediately raises their drinks.
"To JJ's wife!"
"To JJ's wife!"
"To JJ's wife!"
You nearly choke laughing, realizing that you missed the teasing more than you care to admit.
JJ drags both hands down his face. "Ya'll are something."
But when both of you look back over at each other as you sip your beers, neither of you can help but smile.
Everybody spends the rest of the day eating, drinking, laughing and catching up with you.
The Pogues' stories never seem to end. One ridiculous adventure turns into another, and every time you think they've finally told you the craziest thing that's happened since you left, someone else jumps in with an even crazier story.
"Dude, what the hell?!" you say to JJ, still coughing from choking on your beer as everyone finishes one of the most insane stories yet. "So let me get this straight... Your plan was to steal an ambulance…" You cough again. "...to break John B out of jail... but it all ended up being for nothing because he was already gonna get out?"
"He wasn't supposed to be in there. Had to free my boy," JJ says casually, shrugging.
You stare at him. "That could've gone so bad."
An overly proud smirk grows across his face. "But it didn't."
You shake your head slowly. "I wouldn't have even done that for him."
John B barks out a laugh. "Aw, thanks, cuz."
You roll your eyes as he reaches over and squeezes your shoulder. Then look over at him, a little more serious, but soft. "I'm glad everything worked out in the end though. My mom and I were scared shitless for you. We knew you would never do what they said you did."
At some point you find yourself on the HMS Pogue, laughing so hard your stomach hurts while everybody argues over whose version of events is actually correct.
Every now and then you catch yourself just looking around at all of them, unable to believe that you're back here with everybody. And happy beyond words about it.
JJ finds himself doing the same thing, but just at you. And not just because he's happy his friend is back, but because the second that you had begun pulling off your clothes, revealing the tiny bikini you had on underneath, he realized that he was beyond screwed. He already knew this but now it was way worse.
You definitely aren't thirteen anymore.
And apparently neither is he.
"Dude," Pope said to JJ, quiet enough for only the boys to hear, when he caught him staring for the billionth time.
JJ nearly jumped. "What?"
Pope smirked and shook his head. "Nothing."
"Then shut up."
John B glanced between them and immediately started grinning too.
JJ groaned and grabbed the nearest drink, eyes flicking up to you again accidentally as he sipped it, then back down.
Neither of them let him live it down for the rest of the afternoon while you stayed completely unaware.
But you keep sneaking glimpses at him too.
And when you're not thinking about how painfully hot JJ got, you're thinking about how different everything could have been if you hadn't had to move away. About the fact that you might've been right there beside them through all the craziness.
But then JJ catches your eye from across the boat and flashes you one of his familiar crooked grins and suddenly it doesn't feel like you've missed anything at all.
By 1 am, everyone has gone to bed except you and JJ, who still have too much excitement still buzzing through your veins. Too many emotions and memories and things to process.
JJ had let you sleep in his room while he slept out on the porch couch.
You decide to try to sneak outside to get some fresh air, maybe lay in the hammock. But as soon as you quietly open the front door, you see JJ still awake, sitting up and smoking a freshly rolled joint with his feet propped up on the coffee table.
His heart jumps and a slow smile spreads across his face. "Couldn't sleep either?"
You laugh. "Not even a little."
"Good."
"Good?"
"Yeah." He pats the empty spot beside him. "I was getting bored."
You laugh quietly and sit on the couch next to him, hugging your knees to your chest.
He holds the joint out to you and you take it, fingers brushing briefly in the process.
And you both feel it. That feeling that you've been getting all day any time you've made even the smallest bit of physical contact.
You inhale slowly, leaning back against the cushions as smoke curls into the humid air.
Your knee bumps his accidentally as you adjust to get more comfortable, then stays there.
You both smile a little to yourselves. About how it feels to be so close again, but also how comfortable everything still is after all this time.
Even if you both make each other more nervous than ever.
Thirty seconds later JJ looks down at your knees and gently nudges you.
The corner of your lips curl before nudging him back harder.
Then he nudges you back again.
You laugh quietly. "Seriously?"
"What?"
"You still do that."
"You started it."
"Whaaat?" You snort. "I did not."
"Whatever you say, Shrimp."
The nickname makes you choke on the smoke and he loses it, plucking the joint from your fingers and patting your back as you die for a second.
"That's it, let it out," he teases.
You punch him lightly in the side. "Not 'Shrimp'. Oh my god." You laugh more through your choking "I'm not even that short anymore."
"Still shorter than me."
You giggle, glassy eyes narrowing as they flick up to him for a second. "Yeah. True."
You both sit in comfortable silence again after that, still smiling to yourselves.
JJ takes another hit before passing the joint back over. His fingers linger this time, just for a second, and the same electric feeling happens again.
"You know... I was actually kinda pissed at you."
You blink over at him. "Me?"
"Yeah."
"For moving?"
"Mhm."
You tuck one leg beneath yourself. "I was thirteen, JJ. I didn't exactly coordinate the international relocation."
"I know," he says, laughing softly. "Still. I was really bummed. More bummed than mad… way more."
The honesty catches you off guard a bit. "Yeah?"
"Yeah." JJ looks out toward the yard instead of at you, twirling the joint between his fingers.
"When John B told me you moved to Argentina, I thought he was messing with me at first." He shakes his head. "Like who even moves to Argentina from NC?"
You laugh softly and lean the side of your head against the back of the couch as you stare up at him. "Apparently me."
He looks back at you finally and almost freezes when he sees the way you're looking at him. All cozy and sleepy and probably the most adorable thing he's ever seen. He has to look away again.
"Five years is crazy," he says quietly, something unexpectedly vulnerable in his voice.
You study him in the dim porch light: The messy blond hair. The tanned skin. The sharp line of his jaw that definitely wasn't there when you were kids. The way he's changed so much, but somehow not at all.
JJ glances back over, catching you staring. "What?"
You smile faintly. "Nothing."
His lips twitch. "Liar."
Yours do too. "I just missed you. A lot. You were like... my best friend. We had so much fun."
He laughs quietly, then smiles so hard the corners of his sleepy eyes crinkle a bit. "Missed you too."
"I honestly cried so much when I realized I wasn't gonna get to look forward to seeing you all year."
Your own honesty catches you off guard now.
JJ goes still beside you, then he looks back over, big blue eyes full of disbelief, because that's exactly how he felt. "You did?"
"Obviously." You bump your foot against his again. "You were one of the best parts of my summer."
His expression softens in a way you don't think you've ever seen before, like the words genuinely mean a lot to him.
"You were mine too." He takes another hit and exhales. "And to be honest... I mighta cried a little too."
Your eyebrows raise. "Really?"
Embarrassment hits him quick as he realizes what he said. "I–I mean–not like–" he shrugs quickly and tries to look as nonchalant as he can manage with everything he's feeling right now. "Just a few manly tears. No big deal. Kinda just felt like you died, y'know?!"
You go into a full on giggle fit at his defensiveness, leaning your head on his shoulder, which makes him smile helplessly again.
"JJ Maybank cried about me moving? What an honor."
He scoffs. "Whatever. It just felt weird ok?"
You squeeze his hand. "Don't be embarrassed."
"Pffft, what?! I'm not embarrassed."
You look up at him. "Your cheeks are pink."
"It's hot outside. And I drank a lottt of beer."
"Yeah, ok, whatever you say JJ." You burst into more giggles, sitting up straight again. "Besides," you say, bumping his shoulder, "I've seen you cry. Hard."
His eyes narrow instantly, already knowing what you're about to bring up. "Shut up."
A wicked grin spreads across your face. "Like when you sobbed during Marley & Me."
JJ throws his head back. "Oh my god. You were crying too!"
"You were ugly crying."
"I was not."
"There was actual snot involved."
"The dog died! Of course I was crying!"
You laugh so hard you have to grab his arm to stay upright.
"You'd have to be a sick fuck not to cry. Like a whole ass sociopath."
You completely lose it, head dropping to his shoulder again. "I'm not judging you, Jayj, chill out!"
He just shakes his head, unable to stop smiling, himself. Because, god, he forgot how easy and natural talking to you was. Like no matter how many years passed, the two of you somehow still fit together exactly the same way.
"So," you say after a minute after regaining your composure. "Good news for you."
"Oh yeah?"
"Now we can be best friends again."
"That right?"
"Mhm."
JJ leans back deeper into the couch cushions, staring up at the porch ceiling like he's trying not to smile too hard. "Cool."
"Agreed."
"Best summer ever starting now?"
You bite your lip and your eyes flick to each other's at the same time. "You did promise me that last time I saw you... That the next one would be the best one."
"Guess I better keep my promise."
He holds out his hand and you do the pogue handshake like it's muscle memory.
"Best summer ever woogity woogity baby!"
"Woogity woogity baby!"
The conversation drifts after that to something easy and slow and sleepy.
You tell him crazy stories about Argentina.
He tells you more ridiculous things that happened while you were gone.
At some point your eyelids start getting heavy and you yawn suddenly, covering your mouth.
JJ glances over. "Damn, girl. You're done."
"I'm not done."
"You just yawned like somebody's grandma."
"I'm sleepy."
"Old age."
You shove his arm weakly. "Shut up, we're like the same age."
He laughs quietly.
You sigh as sleepiness overtakes against your will. "Yeah no, I should probably go to bed."
JJ nods once, a little reluctant. "Probably."
You sit there for a second then finally stand, stretching a little.
His eyes flick upward. Your t-shirt rides up slightly at the edge and he immediately looks away again.
You miss it completely.
"Night, Jayj," you mumble softly.
"Night, Shrimp."
"Oh my god." You snort weakly, smiling at him one last time. "See you in the morning."
Warmth fills him completely at the sound of that. "See ya."
You disappear into the house, the screen door creaking shut behind you, and silence settles over the porch again.
JJ stares blankly at the doorway for a long moment, then he slowly flops backward onto the couch cushions, dragging both hands down his face.
"What the fuck," he mutters to himself.
Because you're back. Actually back.
For good.
And somehow within less than a day, it already feels like you've slid perfectly back into place in his life. Like the last five years barely happened at all.
And you're still the most beautiful girl in the world. But now, like, the adult version.
He stares up at the ceiling, unable to stop smiling like an idiot once again. His face physically hurts at this point, but he barely notices.
Then he groans quietly into his hands because he is so unbelievably screwed and it's not even funny.
Waking up to a new fic series of yours is literally THE BEST THING EVER!!!!! I AM ALREADY SO OBSESSED WITH THIS PAIRING!!! 😍
I’m a sucker for childhood best friends to lovers and plsssss they were so cute as kids, I already love this so much and I know it’s gonna be my new obsession, I’m gonna be refreshing your account every hour everyday 😂😅
Ngl my heart broke a little when JJ didn’t recognize her at the end but jeeeez I can’t wait for him to realize assgkfalafhslalfhraaf will there be smut too? 🤭
AAAAH CAN’T WAIT FOR THIS NEW FIC, LOVE IT!!! ❤️
You have no idea how happy this made me when I woke up, thank you for taking the time to tell me🥹💘💘💘💘 And sameee it's obviously my favorite thing ever hahaha JJ owns that trope!
I haven't decided if there's gonna be detailed smut yet or if I'm gonna keep it cutesty and maybe implied (with them having very adult feelings ofc)
And he will realize it's her🤭
I'll post the next one around 4pm EST I can't waittt (I'll probably end up being impatient and posting early bc I'm me tho who knows)
Request summary: You're John B's Cousin and you visited the OBX every summer for years as a kid, becoming especially close with JJ to the point where you jokingly became fake boyfriend and girlfriend. When you move across the world for five years, it absolutely destroys him. But suddenly you and your mom move back to NC, to the OBX, and you both realize that your feelings for each other never left.
Warnings: Small mention of JJ's abuse, alcohol consumption
Word Count: 4k
A/N: Been working on this story forever months for one of my favorite people on here! I have almost all of it written and will be posting new parts every day/every other day. Hope ya'll like it🩷
Divider by @daggersanddressesextras
Summer was JJ's favorite time of the year, but you were JJ's favorite part of summer.
Not surfing or fishing or raising hell with the other Pogues. It was when your mom would bring you down from Durham, NC, where she taught at Duke, to stay in a little rental house near Figure Eight while she visited family.
Sometimes she would even leave you for a while and you'd stay at the Chateau with your cousin, John B and his dad, Big John.
Every summer, the second JJ heard your mom's car or your bike tires crunching down the driveway toward the Chateau, he'd practically launch himself off the porch.
At seven years old, he was loud and reckless as always. Always down to do anything and everything.
His main goal in life was to have a good time all the time and, coincidentally, so was yours.
You matched each other perfectly.
You were the only kid who never got scared when he climbed too high into trees or jumped off the end of piers that were dangerously tall.
The only one who'd follow him into the marsh barefoot and get mud all over your legs and scrapes on your feet.
You'd laugh instead of tattle when he stole candy bars from the gas station. Especially when he stole them for you and called himself a provider.
So naturally, the two of you became boyfriend and girlfriend.
Not actually. Just in the silly but also very serious way seven year olds do.
Every time you arrived at Kildaire, JJ would dramatically reunite with you like he'd returned from war, usually by tackling you into the grass and yelling "BABY, YOU CAME BACK TO ME!"
"You're literally so annoying," you'd laugh while pretending to try to shove him off.
But secretly, you loved it. A lot.
"You gotta hold my hand," you informed him one afternoon while the two of you sat on a dock watching tiny crabs run around in the mud underneath.
JJ squinted at you suspiciously. "Why?"
"Because that's what boyfriends do."
"Oh." He considered this deeply before immediately grabbing your hand and intertwining your fingers in the messiest way possible. "Okay."
You nodded like this was a completely normal contractual agreement. "Alsoooo... you have to say I'm pretty."
JJ rolled his eyes, ears turning pink. "You're pretty."
You giggled at this, batting your lashes up at him a little. "Why thank you, Jayj. You mean it?"
"Yeah, I mean it," he grumbled, shoving your shoulder while you giggled harder. But he did mean it. You were the prettiest girl in the world to him.
"Anddd…”
He groaned quietly. "Anddd what?”
"You gotta bring me flowers sometimes.”
"Flowers? Where the hell am I supposed to get you flowers?”
You shrugged. "I dunno. Pretty sure, that's a boyfriend's job to figure out.”
And he did figure it out. And whether they were stolen from some Kook's yard or weeds he picked from the side of the road, as soon as he shoved them into your chest or held them out to you aggressively without making eye contact, feeling absolutely ridiculous, the way you'd thank him and tell them how beautiful they were made his heart swell every single time.
So he kept doing it. Any time he saw something you might like. Even if it meant doing some serious trespassing.
He even almost crashed his bike as he zoomed by a particularly large peony, before nearly crashing again while trying to escape the very angry Kook lady who ran out the door the second she saw him take it.
This game between the two of you became all the Pogue's favorite source of entertainment.
JJ carried your flipflops for you because "boyfriends are supposed to."
You leaned your head on his shoulder during movies because "girlfriends can." ...Which he definitely didn't complain about.
You made him flower crowns from weeds and forced him to wear them while Pope and John B teased him nonstop. But he didn't dare take them off, especially after you called him the 'king of the marsh.'
You gave him a shark tooth necklace that you'd bought with your allowance and made him a bracelet out of white, brown and orange string and he acted like they were the best things in the world– which they really were, because they were from you.
He never took them off, even after you'd go home.
One time, you kissed him on the cheek before running away down the beach to Kiara in a full on giggle fit, and he stood there frozen for so long John B had to wave a hand in front of his face.
"Dude," John B said slowly, "Are you ok? You still with us? I think your brain broke."
JJ didn't say anything, just took off and chased you down the shoreline afterward, tackling you into the sand while both of you shrieked with laughter.
A few days later, after a bad encounter with his dad that left him with a bruised cheekbone, he held your hand until you stopped crying for him and the two of you laid in the hammock planning your "future."
A future mostly consisted of living on a boat, traveling the world and eating popsicles and mac n cheese for every meal.
Another day, you talked about what your wedding would be like.
"Can it be at the beach?" he asked while the two of you gathered driftwood for your fort in the woods by the boneyard. "And no shoes allowed?"
You giggled. "Duh."
"Sweeeeet. Because after we dance and whatever, I definitely wanna fish."
"You can't fish at our wedding," you told him sternly.
JJ frowned. "Why not?"
"Because you're the groom. And we have to hang out."
"What's a groom?"
You sighed dramatically. "The guy getting married."
"Oh." He thought about it for a second. "Can John B fish then?"
"No."
"That's stupid."
"You're stupid."
He smirked in that way that annoyed you and made you blush at the same time. "Mmhm, you still want me to be your groom though."
You shoved him hard enough he nearly tipped backward into the tidepool beside you, soaking his boots and socks.
It was all childish and silly and harmless, except JJ never really stopped wanting it to be real. Even when you got older and you both began to joke about it a little less seriously.
He still saved you a seat next to him on the boat. Or noticed when you put lip gloss on or wore the perfume he stole for you, or did your hair different.
He never stopped telling you that you looked pretty even if he had to follow it up with some sort of teasing afterwards, such as calling you "Shrimp" because you were shorter than him.
He got even more weirdly protective when other boys talked to you.
In fact, he absolutely hated when other boys talked to you. Became irrationally annoyed to the point where he'd get quiet and unable to focus on anything but watching the way you reacted to what whoever it was was saying.
And the pogues noticed every single time, because they knew JJ liked you without a doubt.
Bad.
One night, at thirteen, it was two days before you had to go home and he was in a foul mood about it as he sat on the dock, mindlessly staring at his fishing line and wishing that you were there that night instead of out to dinner with your mom and her friends.
"Just tell her," Pope said as he baited his hook.
JJ scoffed. "I don't have a crush on her, dude."
Pope grinned. "It's so obvious."
Kiara elbowed him gently. "And she so likes you back, so it's fine. Pope's right, JJ, just tell her."
"Shut up. No it's not. And no she doesn't."
You definitely did. Just as bad.
"You have a cruuush," John B sang, reeling in his line and reaching for the bag of shrimp.
JJ shoved him right off the dock.
But he couldn't deny it, because when you smiled at him, his stomach felt weird in a way no other girl had made him feel before.
Because when you hugged him goodbye every August, he counted down the days until next summer.
Because no matter how many girls existed in the OBX—in the WORLD—none of them were you and they never would be.
The next day, you and JJ sat crosslegged in your driftwood fort, surrounded by crumpled candy wrappers while he dug through the endless pockets of his cargo shorts.
"Dude," you laughed as he produced another handful of candy bars and threw them in front of you. "How many pockets do those shorts have?"
JJ grinned proudly. "Enough."
"You're actually insane, Jayj."
"I'm a provider," he corrected seriously, tossing you a pack of sour gummy worms. "Boyfriend duties."
You smiled automatically at that, peeling open the package. "You're the best fake boyfriend ever."
He laughed softly, but something in his chest sank a little at the word fake. Still, he covered it quickly with a grin. "Damn right."
The two of you ate quietly for a minute, both immediately thinking about the same thing: About how you had to leave tomorrow.
You sighed, leaning your head back against a piece of wood. "I don't wanna go home. I wish I lived here."
He looked over immediately. "Yeah?"
"This was seriously the best summer ever."
JJ smiled at that, heart squeezing for multiple reasons now. "It was pretty sick." He popped a piece of candy into his mouth. "And next summer'll be even better. I'll make sure next year it's the funnest one yet."
"Funnest isn't a word." You bumped your shoulder against his. "But I can't wait. Seriously."
He smiled harder. "Me neither."
The two of you went quiet again after that.
JJ handed you another chocolate. You took it, set it down and picked up another piece from your pile.
"Want a kiss?"
He turned so fast he nearly choked. "Huh?"
You blinked at him innocently. "A kiss?"
"Wait… really?"
Your eyebrows pulled together in confusion before realization hit you, then you burst into laughter, cheeks going bright pink. "Oh my god, JJ."
He looked confused. "What??"
You held up a Hershey's Kiss. "I meant the candy!"
JJ groaned, covering his face, which was now even pinker than yours, while you laughed harder.
"You thought—"
"I know what I thought!"
"You looked so scared!"
"I was not scared."
He was scared. And a lot of other things.
"Yuh huh you were!"
He snatched the chocolate from your hand. "Shut up."
You giggled uncontrollably while he unwrapped it aggressively and shoved it into his mouth.
JJ tried not to smile too as he chewed, but he couldn't even help it.
"Have you ever actually kissed anybody?" you asked suddenly, a little quieter.
He looked over at you and shook his head. "Nah."
Which was true. Girls had tried before, but every time, something about it felt wrong, like it wasn't supposed to be them. Like he'd be cheating on you even if your relationship was "fake."
"What about you?" he asked, also nervous of the answer.
You shook your head. "No."
The corner of his lips tugged up a bit in relief.
You began balling up a tinfoil wrapper in your lap absentmindedly. "I kinda wanna know what it's like though."
"Yeah?" he said quietly, trying to sound normal.
"Mhm."
He swallowed. "Is there somebody back home you wanna kiss or something?"
You shrugged and your eyes flicked up at him for a second. "Not really."
His stomach twisted. "Not really?"
You laughed softly. "No. There's not anybody."
Relief filled him again.
You were quiet for another second, then you looked over at him, then down, then back over him again, nerves filling your belly.
"I mean… you're kinda my fake boyfriend so... maybe…" you started, then stopped yourself, shaking your head. "Nevermind."
JJ looked over, sitting up straighter instantly, wondering if you were really gonna say what he thought you were.
There was no way.
"No. What? Say it."
You laughed nervously. "Nothing, JJ!"
"What were you gonna say?"
"Nothingggguh."
"You were definitely gonna say something. Now I need to know."
"You'll make fun of me."
"No I won't."
"Yes you will."
"I swear I won't. What is it?"
You hesitated then huffed out a laugh. "I was gonna say maybe… since you're my fake boyfriend and all, that we could maybe... fake kiss?"
JJ just stared at you, heart suddenly pounding so hard he was pretty sure it was echoing in the fort.
You looked equally nervous suddenly. "But we don't have to! I was kidding. Ha ha! Gotcha!"
"You want me to be your first kiss?" he asked carefully.
"I mean… uh..." You shrugged, cheeks flushing even more. "I mean… sure. Yeah. Why not?"
You both let out soft, nervous laughs.
"You sure?"
"Well yeah." You smiled shyly. "You're one of my best friends. I don't want my first kiss to be some weirdo."
JJ grinned immediately through his nerves. "You call me a weirdo all the time."
You giggled again. "Yeah, but that's different."
He tried to play it cool even though he had never been so flustered in his entire life. He had imagined this moment a thousand times but he never thought it would actually happen.
"Okay," he said casually, voice cracking a little. "We can fake kiss."
You nodded. "Okay. Okay, sweet. Let's do it, then."
Neither of you moved at first, then awkwardly, slowly, you scooted closer together.
"Sooo... how do we do this?" you whispered.
"I dunno, I guess we just do it," JJ whispered back, eyes flicking to your lips. "You've literally never seen a movie?"
You dissolved into nervous laughter again.
JJ smiled helplessly at you for a second before finally leaning in. You followed his lead and met him halfway, lips pressing together gently.
The kiss was soft and stiff and lasted maybe three seconds, but still, butterflies exploded through both of you instantaneously.
When you pulled apart, you stared at each other wide eyed.
"That was weird," you both said at once, smiling a little stunned and lopsided before bursting into laughter immediately afterward.
"You taste like chocolate," he mumbled, smiling embarrassingly hard.
You stared at the ground, unable to look at him now. "You do too."
He scratched the back of his neck, unsure of what to do with himself now. "It was literally a Hershey's Kiss."
You snort. "Literally."
Neither of you stopped smiling.
JJ looked at you for another long second. At your pink cheeks and the way you brushed messy hair behind your ear. Then he flopped dramatically backward into the dirt when he couldn't handle looking at you anymore. "Well. Guess we're basically adults now."
You snorted, lying down beside him. "Maybe I am. You have ways to go, Maybank. Waysss."
He snorted and began the countdown to next summer in his head immediately.
You both walked back to the Chateau after a few minutes and spent the rest of the day trying not to look at each other, because if you did, it was impossible to not feel like your chests were gonna actually explode.
The pogues called you both out on it, saying that you were acting weird when you'd look at each other and burst into quiet giggles, but JJ would just say it was an inside joke and that they wouldn't get it... which made you smile even harder.
The smiles were wiped clean off your faces later that night when you saw your mom's car rolling up the driveway to take you back to the rental.
You hugged Kiara first, then Pope, then John B. Then you turned to JJ.
For once, neither of you immediately joked around like you usually would when you said goodbye. He just shoved his hands in the pockets of his cargo shorts and looked at you like a kicked puppy.
"You better come back next summer," he mumbled.
You smiled softly even though your heart ached too. "I will. Why wouldn't I?"
JJ nodded once before taking his hands out of his pockets. Then he grinned crookedly. "Okay, cool, well see ya next year, Shrimp."
You rolled your eyes before stepping forward and hugging him tight.
JJ hugged you back immediately, even tighter. Way too long.
Neither of you wanted to let go.
Then your mom honked lightly from the car, smiling a little too knowingly.
You pulled away. "Bye, Jayj."
"Bye, wifey. Til next year."
You giggled and gave him a little lazy salute. "Til next year."
You climbed into the car and JJ stood in the driveway with the other pogues, watching until you disappeared down the road completely, still tasting chocolate if he thought about it hard enough.
He spent every single day until the next summer thinking about that kiss, replaying it over and over and over and over and over.
And he also listened to Thinkin Bout You by Frank Ocean over and over and over.
He hoped and prayed you weren't kissing anybody else and that you thought about it too.
You, in fact, were not kissing anybody else. And you did think about it. Every single day.
He made up endless scenarios in his mind about it happening again and finally decided that he'd stop being such a pussy and that next summer he was gonna tell you.
He had to.
And if, by some miracle, you felt the same way he was going to make enough money to buy you both phones and you would make it work. He'd get his driver's license ASAP and a car and he'd visit you every weekend you weren't in the OBX. Then maybe, if he proved he was good enough for someone as perfect as you, one day you really would have that barefoot beach wedding.
And he wouldn't fish. Wouldn't even think about it. He'd hang out with you the entire time like a good groom is supposed to.
But the next summer, you didn't come back.
At first, JJ thought maybe you were just late. He spent the first week bugging the hell out of John B, asking if he had heard anything about you from his dad.
He tried to act normal about it, but every time a car or bike turned down the road toward the Chateau, he looked up way too fast, heart jumping before sinking again.
By the third week, John B noticed how JJ had been weirdly quiet.
"You okay, man?"
JJ shrugged from where he was sprawled across the hammock. "Why wouldn't I be?"
"You've asked where Y/N is a thousand times. And then you mope around when I tell you I have no idea."
"I don't mope."
"You definately do."
"Shut up, JB. I'm fine."
Eventually, John B got the answer from Big John.
"She moved. Like... really far away," he said carefully that evening while the Pogues sat around the firepit.
JJ looked up immediately. "Moved where? How far?"
"Argentina... in South America."
JJ blinked, his heart dropping so hard it actually hurt. "What?"
"Her mom got some teaching job there or something."
Argentina. Not another town or another state... Another country.
"Oh," he said after a second. Then he took another sip of the beer his dad gave him for his birthday and leaned back in his chair like it didn't matter at all.
Everybody exchanged sad looks and nobody called him out on it. But later that night, John B found him sitting alone on the dock long after everyone else went inside.
"You good, bro?"
JJ stared out at nothing, eyes glassy. "Yeah."
"You sure?"
He shrugged again, laughing a little under his breath even though nothing was funny about how he was feeling. "She's just gone, dude."
Just gone. No goodbye. No finding out if his daydreams about her could become reality. No way of contacting her.
Gone.
After that, summers kept happening, as they do.
JJ got older. Girls started looking at him more and he quickly realized exactly what his smile could do to people.
There were plenty of girls who wanted him and of course he gave in eventually, as most teenage boys would, but none of them would ever be you. No kiss would ever feel like or mean as much as the one in the fort you built together.
They tasted like alcohol and smoke instead of chocolate.
They didn't inspire him to do something good with his life or dream about a bright future or give him hope that things could get better.
He wondered if Argentina had beaches or if you were still trying to learn how to surf.
He wondered if you ever thought about that one three second kiss you shared. Or if you even remembered it at all. Thought about him at all.
Still, he never took off that damn shark tooth necklace. Or the bracelet. Or took the old pictures of the two of you out of his nightstand. Or the drawings you gave him or the shells you found just for him.
Or the wrapper of the Hershey's kiss that he snagged off the ground before you left the fort.
Five years later, JJ is eighteen and everybody is at the Chateau other than John B and Big John, who is long gone.
JJ walks out onto the porch shirtless, towel slung over his shoulder, hair damp from the shower he just took.
He lives there now, after his dad left for Yucatan leaving him with absolutely nothing.
Everybody looks at him, suspiciously entertained by something.
"Where's John B?" he asks.
Nobody answers. They just look at each other smiling like a bunch of weirdos.
JJ narrows his eyes as he notices. "Why are you all acting weird?"
"He went to pick something up," Pope says.
Kiara presses her lips together, trying not to laugh at that.
JJ squints at him. "Pick what up?"
"It's a surprise," Kiara replies instantly, smiling way too wide now.
JJ looks between all of them. "What kind of surprise?"
Kiara shrugs. "Can't tell you."
"Why?"
"Because then it ruins it."
"What the hell is going on? ...Is it bad?"
"It's not bad," Pope says, laughing.
"You'll probably be happy about it," Kiara adds. "Honestly you might actually lose your mind."
Sarah and Cleo look between each other, extremely excited, having heard plenty of stories about the two of you.
Now JJ's even more confused. "What does that mean? Is it like... a thing? Food? I– what's going on? Come on, give me somethin'. Please."
Nobody answers, they just keep smiling smugly, throughly enjoying every bit of his torture.
"Ok. Ya'll are stressing me the hell out. But whatever." He plops down in lawn chair, closing his eyes and leaning his head back to dry his hair in the afternoon sun like he's not wracking his brain trying to figure out what this "surprise" could even possibly be.
A few minutes later, everybody perks up immediately and JJ's head whips toward the direction of the driveway as they hear the sound of the Twinkie pulling up.
JJ watches suspiciously as John B climbs out of the driver's seat grinning ear to ear.
Then the passenger door opens and a girl steps out.
JJ's brows raise without meaning to and he sits up a little bit.
She's gorgeous. She might possibly be the prettiest girl he's ever seen. And not in a fancy Kook-y way... just absolutely effortlessly beautiful. Even though he can only see her profile.
He doesn't realize that it's you, although there's something weirdly nostalgic about her that he can't quite put his finger on.
What nobody also told him is that you just moved back to NC.
"Can't wait to go to the NC coast this weekend, I'm gonna get so much fic inspo" I say with like 20 requests and a multi chapter one I've been writing for weeks that I need to figure out the last chapter of🫣
Do you ever reread your own fics? If so which ones do you go back to the most? Also are u working on anything right now
DAILY LMAO they're my own fantasies so absolutely yes I do!! And I'm constantly editing them— especially the ones I wrote when I first started posting because some of the writing be making me cringeee
I reread TFFFF out of my Walking Dead series, they're my favorite ever🥹 Ever ever ever. Writing that absolutely consumed my life for a little bit so I might as well🤷♀️
I reread all my smutty fics more than anything🤭
I have a ton of requests started but I've been mainly working on a very cutesy 2-3 part Routledge Cousin!Reader series. But I want to finish it all and post a chapter per day and I can't figure out how to end it/the real plot/build up to her and JJ getting together.
I wanna post the first chapter SOOOOO bad bc I fking love it but Ima be patient
I've definitely been struggling with my confidence in my writing though. And I'm annoyed because I dont know how many ways I can write kisses and how somebody's expression "softens" and all that shit lmaooo
Just finished watching "off campus" and really loved how they handeled hannah's story and intimacy. So I wondered if you could write something similar? something like a reader not being able to finish with a partner (whether it is because of past trauma or just that nobody ever took the time to focus on her pleasure) and asking JJ for a favour to help her out with this. (btw: dean is such jj variant!! at first i didn't see it, but once he got with allie "i was like yep, that's jj")
I can absolutely try to do this! I went through something super similar and felt like they did that amazing job touching on such a sensitive subject. And oh my goddd Dean Consent is Key Di Laurentis the man that you are🫠💘 Also I Genuinely forgot Allie’s ex was name Sean when I wrote this PFFFFT, I always use that name for the assholes in my fics
Not Broken
Pairing: Bsf!JJ Maybank x Reader
Warnings: Drugging and SA not super described, PTSD, reader feeling pressured by their partner, smut, fingering
Word Count: 4.5k
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JJ Maybank was your best friend in the entire world and everybody knew it.
Everybody also knew that you were both secretly, hopelessly in love with each other. Everybody but the two of you.
You realized your feelings first, somewhere between late night chats on the hammock at the Chateau and JJ beating up a guy who was being a dick to you simply because you wouldn’t kiss him at the eighth grade dance.
But then came JJ’s hookups around the age of fifteen: Random girls at parties and bonfires. Tourons. A Kook girl he swore he didn’t even like.
Every time you saw him leave with someone else, it felt like swallowing glass. So you pushed your feelings down hard enough to hurt and slowly pushed him away along with them.
And JJ noticed. But he wasn’t sure he understood why.
The next few years, you were still always around, but it was different now. He noticed the way you pulled away whenever he got too close. The way you stopped laughing as hard at his jokes. The way you didn’t always sit beside him out by the fire on the HMS Pogue like you used to. The way your phone calls became short and straight to the point instead of the two of you rambling about everything for hours.
He didn’t realize that every inch of distance between you was heartbreak. He wondered a few times if you did share the same feelings he did, but he figured he’d added that to the list of things he’d fucked up in his life if so.
But he told himself it was ok if he did, because he cared about you so deeply that he accepted that maybe you deserved somebody better than him anyways.
Then a year ago, everything changed.
You barely remember the party itself. Just flashes.
You remember talking to some boy you didn’t recognize. You sipping on your drink, bored out of your mind as he rambled on about himself. Then the dizziness that hit you like a bus as you were scanning the room for JJ.
Then nothing.
Then the next thing you remembered clearly was waking up in JJ’s arms.
He’d been the one to find you, passed out in some upstairs bedroom, your clothes wrong and your body hurting. He was shaking so hard he could barely hold you. You’d never seen him look so furious in your life, practically white with rage. Or as equally terrified.
You sat in the Twinkie and sobbed against him in his lap, still half out of it. You begged him not to tell anybody, so he didn’t tell a soul. Even though he wanted more than anything to find that guy, even if it meant earning himself a life sentence.
And lucky for that guy, you never saw him ever again.
After that night, something shifted between you permanently and you became inseparable once again, but not in the chaotic way you used to be. This time, the two of you were softer, sweeter.
JJ became the only person you felt like you could come to no matter what when what happened became too much to bear.
He’d come over and hang out with you when he noticed you isolating yourself from everybody, which usually ended up with you crying into his chest until you couldn’t anymore.
He’d notice the way your mood changed when you’d be hanging out with the Pogues and find ways to get you alone so you could talk through it with him. Or just sit with him, head on his shoulder while you played absentmindedly with his fingers.
He’d skip parties and the two of you would spend the night watching movies or just hanging out while he’d promised repeatedly that he’d rather be there with you.
There were nights where he stayed on the phone with you until you fell asleep because the nightmares got too bad.
He never pushed or asked questions you didn’t want to answer, just stayed and let you let it out however you needed to. Your friends could tell something had changed but they never pushed either.
When you finally started going back to parties a few months later, JJ watched you the entire time, trying his best not to make it obvious. But you noticed, and it meant everything even though part of you felt a little guilty.
He lost interest in hooking up with anybody. The only thing he cared about was that you were able to have a good time and keeping an eye on every guy that got too close to you. As well as keeping an eye on your drinks.
One night at a bonfire, a drunk guy you barely knew touched your waist from behind trying to squeeze past you and suddenly you couldn’t breathe. Your whole body locked up instantly from the half a second of unwanted touch and the beach blurred around you as panic crashed through. You were completely frozen, like you had teleported to that night a few months ago.
JJ noticed before anybody else did when you went mute, sipping your drink faster than usual and staring into the fire.
One second he’d been laughing with Pope and Cleo, and the next he was standing in front of you saying your name quietly while your shoulder shook under his hand.
“Hey, hey, look at me. Sunshine, look at me.”
You looked at him and the feeling didn’t go away, but just seeing his face was enough to snap you out of it just a little.
“C’mon. Let’s go somewhere quiet for a sec.”
You ended up sitting in the sand down by the water afterward wrapped in JJ’s jacket while he held you against his chest.
“I hate this,” you cried quietly against him, slurring just a little. “I hate that I’m like this now.”
JJ’s arms tightened around you immediately. “You’re not doing anything wrong.”
“I used to be normal.”
“You are normal.”
Your cheek pressed harder into his shoulder and you were quiet for a second, just sniffling and feeling him breath against you. Then you tipped your head back to look up at him.
“You’re really nice to me.”
“Course I am,” he whispered, smiling faintly at how adorable you looked even with your eyes all glassy and nose all pink. At how much you trusted him to hold you like this. Even as his heart was breaking for you.
“No, like...” You struggled to find the words through the alcohol and tears. “Really nice. You don’t even have to be. You should be having fun.”
JJ’s smile turned a little crooked. “I’d rather be here for you. Stop worryin’ about that. You’re my best friend, dummy.”
Your chest squeezed. “I’m your best friend?”
He laughed a little, genuinely amused that that was even a question. “What? Yeah.”
“Like... your actual best friend?”
JJ laughed softly and nudged your shoulder. “You know you’re my best friend. Don’t play.”
“Ok, sorry. You’re mine too,” you whispered, glossy eyes twinkling up at him now.
He smiled the kind of smile that made your stomach flip every single time. The kind that showed his dimples. The warmest smile you’d probably ever seen in your life, that you felt like you only ever got to see.
A quiet, happy, and a little bit flustered giggle escaped you without being able to help it.
He bit his lip, trying not to smile harder, because making you happy was everything to him. It always had been.
“There she is,” he teased gently.
You snorted softly but couldn’t stop looking at him. The way he was looking at you with so much affection felt almost overwhelming. And the way he was holding you, like he’d stay right there on that beach all night if that’s what you needed. Your eyes filled again, but with happy tears this time. Tears that came from being so overwhelmed with love and gratitude that you didn’t know what to do with yourself.
“JJ... I really care about you.”
He searched your eyes for a second, trying to figure out what exactly you meant by that. “I really care about you too, princess.”
And then the words slipped out before you could stop them.
“Can I kiss you?”
Oh.
He went still, smile fading just a bit after a moment as he processed the situation. His heart rate picked up, because of course he wanted to, he had for years. But under the circumstances, it felt like very much not the right thing to do.
“I trust you so much, Jayj,” you whispered a little brokenly. “More than anybody.”
The look on his face nearly shattered you, because for one second, he looked like he wanted to say yes, but instead, he brushed your hair back carefully and faintly shook his head.
“You’re drunk, sweetheart.”
You nodded too fast and looked away, blinking quickly, humiliation filling every inch of you.
JJ spent the next ten minutes holding you while you silently tried to bury the tiny bit of hope you’d accidentally let escape, before saying that you were fine and ready to go back to your friends.
After that, you stopped trying completely.
You still loved him. And you were pretty sure you always would. But JJ clearly didn’t want you like that.
So eventually, when some Kook named Sean started asking you out, you gave in and said yes. Mostly because Sean was nice enough. He took you to fancy restaurants, bought you flowers, held doors open for you.
JJ looked like he wanted to throw up the first time he saw him pick you up for a date at the Chateau, and you were the only one who didn’t notice.
You kept trying with Sean though, because it seemed like he really did like you, and that felt good. Even though every expensive dinner felt hollow. Even though every time Sean touched your hand, part of your brain compared it to JJ’s rough fingers laced through yours.
After the second month, things with Sean had started getting worse, because he was beginning to get frustrated with you. Very frustrated.
He couldn’t wrap his brain around the way you always tensed up when things became physical, because he’d never had that issue with any girl before. Ever.
He hated that you could never fully relax with him. And that no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t make you come.
Tonight, the air in your bedroom feels thick and charged with something that’s been building for weeks.
Sean stands near your dresser with his hands thrown up in frustration while you sit crosslegged on your bed in one of JJ’s old shirts, which Sean doesn’t know is his, arms wrapped tightly around yourself.
“I just don’t get it,” he says, in that voice that makes your stomach hurt and not for the first time. “Every time. Every single time, you freeze up, or you pull away, or you make up some excuse.”
“They’re not excuses,” you mumble. Which is a lie, but you can’t bring yourself to tell him what the actual problem is.
“Then what is it?” He steps closer, and you hate how your shoulders tense. “We’ve been together for three months. Three! And you still can’t—”
“I’m not ready,” you cut in sharply.
“But you never will be, will you?” He laughs angrily. “Not with me.”
Your chest goes tight. He’s standing over you now, and you’re still sitting there like a kid who’s in trouble or something.
“I’m trying,” you whisper, feeling a little intimidated.
“No, you’re not.” Sean runs a hand through his stupid perfect Kook haircut, the one that probably costs more than your week’s pay. “I’ve taken you to nice restaurants. I’ve bought you things. I’ve been patient, and you still look at me like you’re bracing for impact every time I touch you.”
You don’t say anything, because he’s not entirely wrong. But the word patient immediately irks you, because this is definitely not patience.
He exhales hard through his nose. “You know what I think?”
“I’m sure you’re going to tell me.”
His eyes narrow. “I think you’d let that idiot Pogue that’s obsessed with you fuck you in a heartbeat.”
Your head snaps up. “Excuse me?”
“JJ.” Sean spits the name like it tastes bad. “Your best friend. The douchebag with a criminal record who cares more about smoking weed and doing dumb shit than bettering himself. I see the way you look at him. The way he looks at you when he thinks I’m not paying attention.” He shakes his head, disgusted. “You’re obviously in love with him. Which, honestly, I don’t understand. He’s a loser. But whatever.”
Heat crawls up your neck as you listen to him talk shit about the boy who’s been there for you through everything. Who would do absolutely anything for you if you asked, or even if you didn’t ask. The boy who knows you better than anybody.
“Maybe I would,” you say, voice low and steady in a way that surprises even you. “Maybe I would let him because he actually cares about making me feel comfortable. Because he would never pressure me or guilt me or stand in my bedroom acting like I owe him sex because he bought me dinner.”
Sean’s face goes red. “I never said you owed me—”
“You don’t have to. I can fucking feel it.”
He goes silent, just stares at you, fists balled up, looking like he wants to hit something.
“We’re done,” you say, trying to sound calm. “You should go.”
He stares at you a little longer, like he’s waiting for you to take it back, and your heart begins to beat faster praying that he’ll just leave. Then he finally grabs his jacket from your vanity chair and walks out without another word.
You let out the nervous breath you were holding. The front door slams thirty seconds later and the second you hear it, you burst into tears. You sob for about ten minutes straight-- not over breaking up with Sean.
Fuck Sean.
You’re relieved that you won’t have to be scared that he’s going to want to do something you don’t want to do because intimacy is terrifying to you now.
You cry because of how angry you are at him. How angry you are at yourself and wondering why you can’t just let what happened go. Wondering when you’ll ever stop feeling this way and when your body will feel like yours again.
You wonder if anyone will ever treat you right and make you feel safe, because you already know the trauma is going to follow you for a long, long time.
You know one person who would, but you don’t think he even wants you like that. He wouldn’t even kiss you three months ago.
You call him anyway and he answers on the second ring.
“Hey, princess, what’s up?”
You sniffle. “Can you come over?”
His tone changes instantly. “What happened?”
“Please. I just need you.”
“I’m already on the way.”
He climbs through your window twelve minutes later. You’re sitting in the same spot, knees pulled up now, face wet, eyes red rimmed. The window slides shut behind him and when he finally sees your face in the lamplight, he looks like the sight physically hurts him.
“Baby.”
He crosses the room and crawls onto your bed, pulling you into his arms like he’s done dozens of times in the past year.
You push your face into his chest, clinging to his shirt as you try not to start sobbing again. “I broke up with him,” you mumble.
JJ tries to hide the tiny flicker of relief that crosses his face.
“Oh no,” he says weakly, trying to sound sympathetic.
You let out a watery laugh and softly smack his chest. You knew he was never a fan of Sean. He called him an entitled Kook douchebag every time he got the chance. And he was so right.
“What happened?” he asks carefully, serious again. “What’d he do?”
You pull back to look at him, at the concern in his blue eyes, and there’s something else too but you’re too exhausted to name it.
“He kept getting mad at me,” you say, voice raw. “Because I wouldn’t have sex with him.”
JJ immediately looks furious, looking away and shaking his head. “Oh, hell no.”
“He always got so mad that he couldn’t make me come, like it was my fault.” You laugh, anger filling your chest again. “And then he said I’d probably let you... let you fuck me. And said a bunch of stuff about you that pissed me off.”
JJ’s eyebrows raise as he takes in that information.
“I told him maybe I would,” you continue, not meeting his eyes now, “because you’d never pressure me. Because I actually trust you... I mainly just said it to piss him off.”
Mainly?
His mouth parts slightly, words caught in his throat. He laughs, a little breathy and nervous, but also proud. “Oh shit, you did?” he asks quietly, not sure exactly what to say because he doesn’t know if you really meant it at all.
You nod and wipe at your cheeks. Then your face begins to crumple again, lip wobbling, eyes filling with fresh tears. “I think something’s wrong with me, J... I think I’m broken. After what happened. I just feel so...” The word catches and you sniffle again. “Disgusting. Like my body isn’t mine anymore. And every time Sean would try... even when he was being nice about it at first... my brain would just shut down completely. I let him touch me and I didn’t even want to.”
You let out a sob and JJ holds you closer as his stomach twists violently.
“I did it because I felt bad. But then I’d feel even worse.”
“Hey,” he says, low and rough but still soft. He cups your face with one hand, thumb brushing the wet track beneath your eye. “You’re not disgusting. And you’re definitely not broken. You hear me? I’m so sorry you feel like this, sunshine. It breaks my heart to see you like this... That he made you feel pressured like that. It’s not ok.”
You don’t answer, lip trembling too hard.
“You don’t deserve any of this. What happened to you—that wasn’t your fault. And no one, no one, gets to make you feel like you owe them anything.” His thumb moves again, gently wiping away more tears. “You’re the strongest person I know. And whatever your body needs—whatever timeline—that’s okay. That’s yours.”
You lean into his palm and look up at him with those big eyes he loves so much.
His chest squeezes so hard it aches he’s so in love with you it’s actually painful.
“What if...” Your voice is barely a whisper. “What if I wanted you to try?”
JJ blinks. “Try what?”
“To make me...” You swallow. “Y’know... with your fingers. I just want to know that I still can. That it’s still possible for me to be able to be close to somebody like that.”
He stares at you. “...Are you serious?”
“Yeah.” The word trembles out. “I trust you more than anyone. I’ve been thinking about how maybe if it was you... maybe my brain wouldn’t panic. And I just—I need to know I’m not broken, JJ.”
He’s quiet for too long. The silence stretches, and your face heats.
“Sorry,” you rush out, pulling back, completely mortified. “That was so stupid... and weird. I shouldn’t have asked that. You didn’t even wanna kiss me a few months ago. Forget I—”
“It wasn’t stupid.” He says quickly. “Hey.”
You look at him.
His eyes fix on you with something unbearably tender in them, because he’s thought about that night at the Boneyard every single day since it happened, wishing he had had the guts to bring it up.
“I did wanna kiss you.”
Your eyes widen. “What?”
“That night on the beach.” He gives this tiny, disbelieving laugh at himself. “Jesus Christ, girl, I wanted to kiss you so bad. You have no idea.”
You stare at him, completely stunned. “But you said no.”
“Because you were drunk,” he says immediately. “And crying. And vulnerable. The last thing I wanna ever do is take advantage of you.”
Your eyes fill a little again as you stare at him, heart filling with so many feelings at once that it’s a little overwhelming.
JJ shakes his head slightly. “You have no idea how hard that was. I should’ve told you.”
Your lips part, but no words come out, because it’s hard to believe that all this time you thought he didn’t want you. You wonder long how he has.
“I thought you didn’t feel that way,” you whisper.
“Are you kidding?” he murmurs, hand slides gently against your cheek again until his fingertips are in your hair. “I care about you more than anything. You know that, right? And it’s more than that. I’ve felt like this for years… just didn’t think you did too.”
You smile a little. “Really?”
“Really. And if you mean this—if this is really what you want—then I’ll give you anything you need from me.” His voice lowers. “Anything.”
You lean into his touch again without thinking and JJ visibly melts at that.
“It wasn’t a stupid idea,” he says again. “And if you really want this, I’d be happy to.” His hand slides down a bit until his thumb traces your jaw. “But only if you’re sure.”
You nod before he even finishes speaking. “I’m sure.”
JJ searches your face for another long moment, then he moves closer slowly enough for you to stop him. Your breathing turns shaky when his forehead rests lightly against yours.
“You tell me if anything feels wrong,” he whispers.
“I will.”
“And we stop immediately if you want to stop. Please tell me if you want to stop.”
“Okay.”
His eyes flick down to your mouth for a second before lifting back to yours. “Can I kiss you now?”
You nod quickly. “Please.”
He leans in so slowly it almost makes you dizzy and the second his lips touch yours, something in your chest caves in completely.
The kiss is soft and careful like he’s terrified of pushing too hard, but when you kiss him back with this tiny desperate sound, JJ’s hand slides into your hair and he kisses you deeper.
Nothing feels scary about it. Unlike with Sean, it actually feels right. And clean. Because it’s JJ, your favorite person in the entire world, and he’s kissing you like you’re absolutely precious to him.
You break apart breathlessly, and he rests his forehead against yours again with a shaky laugh.
“Holy shit,” he whispers.
A surprised laugh escapes you too. “What?”
“Just… I’m trying really hard to stay calm right now. Wanted this for a long ass time.”
That makes you smile for real. “Me too.”
JJ stares at your smile like it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. “You still okay?”
“Yeah,” you whisper immediately. “I’m really good. I feel safe.”
Something emotional flashes across his face at that and slowly, carefully, he guides you backward.
He takes you in and then his eyes flick down to your shirt and he smiles suddenly. “I like this shirt. Haven’t seen it in a while.”
You glance down and laugh. “You mean your shirt?”
“Mhm.” His hand slides over your waist. “Looks better on you, though.”
Your giggle. “I agree.”
Then he kisses you again before you can say anything else, warm and dizzying. His mouth leaves yours to trail across your jaw, down your neck.
“You’re so perfect,” he murmurs against your skin. “You know that?”
Your breath shudders out of you.
His hand slides down your side, over the curve of your hip. He pauses at the hem of the shirt. “This okay?”
“Yes.”
His fingers dip beneath the fabric, skimming the bare skin of your stomach, making you shiver. He kisses where your collarbone peeks out from the loose neckline, then lower, mouthing at the soft swell above your bra.
“I’ve got you,” he says. “I’ll go slow. You tell me if you need to stop.”
“I won’t want to stop.”
He shifts, fingers finding the button of your shorts, eyes flicking up to yours.
You nod.
He undoes the button. Then the zipper. His hand slides inside, and when his fingers press against you through the cotton of your underwear, you gasp softly.
“Breathe,” he whispers. “Just breathe, alright, sweetheart?”
He strokes you slow, then his hand slips beneath the waistband, and there’s nothing between his skin and yours, just his fingers gliding through you.
You hum, bottom lip between your teeth.
“Good?” His eyes flick up to your face and back down between you.
“Yeah. So good.”
He moves gently, exploring, watching your reactions carefully. His middle finger circles once, twice, finding a rhythm that makes your hips lift.
“That’s it,” he murmurs. “You’re doing so good. Letting me take care of you.”
His thumb presses lightly at the top of your clit, and your back arches. He watches your face the whole time—the way your lips part, the flutter of your lashes.
His own pulse hammers in his throat as he eases one finger inside you, slow and careful. Your body clenches around him, but not from fear. You feel so safe and comfortable in his hands it’s crazy.
Your eyes meet his then flutter shut as his finger curls slightly, and something builds low in your stomach. He adds a second, patient, letting you adjust as his thumb keeps circling.
“You’re so beautiful like this,” he breathes. “Love making you feel good, baby.”
The pressure coils tighter at the words and you smile a little, eyebrows knitted. Your hand grips his forearm and your gaze stays locked on his as he begins to move faster.
“Please don’t stop,” you gasp.
“I won’t. I’ve got you.”
His fingers move deeper and the rhythm shifts, the feeling that you’ve only been able to make happen yourself, thinking about JJ, building low in your belly. The tension suddenly snaps and you gasp his name, back arching off the bed as pleasure rolls through your entire body.
“Coming,” you whisper. “JJ, I’m coming. Oh my god...”
“Good. I got you, baby. I got you. That’s it, girl.”
He watches you fall apart, chest aching. Watches the way your breath shudders uncontrollably as you let out choked little whimpers for him. The flush on your cheeks. The way your lips shape his name.
When you finally go still other than the quick rise and fall of your chest, he presses his forehead to yours.
Slowly, your eyes open and there’s something almost proud in his expression as he stares down at you. Something relieved. And it almost makes you want to cry.
"Hey," he says softly.
A shaky laugh escapes you and you lean up to press your lips to his just barely. "Hey."
A small smile tugs at his mouth and he tilts his head a little. “See?”
“See what?”
“Not broken.”
A surprised little giggle escapes you. “Yeah,” you admit softly. “Guess not.”
JJ’s smile grows.
“Guess it just needed to be with the right person.”
He stares at you for a moment like he can’t believe he could possibly be that for you. But if that’s what you want, he’ll do everything he can to keep being that. “Maybe.”
You reach for his hand and squeeze it, scooting closer and leaning against his shoulder. “Thank you, Jayj.”
“Anytime, sunshine.”
You shake your head. “Not just for tonight.”
His brows lift slightly as he strokes your hand.
“For always being there,” you whisper. “My whole life. Every time I needed somebody, you were there. Even when I didn’t know I did.”
He brings your hand to his chest and holds it there. “Always will be. Promise.”
