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@lolaze
Isnât it something how the 2000âs were dominated by expectations for women to be beautiful and fashionable and feminine and thin and wear pink etc that over the course of the 2010âs we rebelled more and more against that to allow women to be something other than that prescribed image. Eventually it became almost shameful for women to present in a feminine way because that wasnât feminist. Then the concept of internalized misogyny was introduced and it became feminist to be feminine while not being feminine enough or not loving femininity enough makes you a âpick me girlâ. So weâve ended up right back where we were with how women are expected to be but this time itâs packaged back to us as feminism.
Something something mainstream culture gets ahold of a feminist idea and turns it into a new expectation for how women should be instead of liberating women something something
Sex work is anything but feminist!
I canât find a singular thing in exploitation, abuse and sexism that can help women fight against the patriarchy!
Porn is the foundation of pedophilia: Ponytails and school uniform are definitely a pattern there! Minors and barely legal are fucking tags! And the most searched one I will add; And you donât need to scroll that much to see stepdad and stepdaughter videos!
Just look at hentai! The epitome of pedophilia! Childish looking faces with grown upsâ boobs and behinds! Their dresses and expressions! Itâs fucking child pornography, but legal! since theyâre not real children, theyâre pixels!
Weâre talking about sick people fulfilling their fantasies through the internet! And this will be enough only till they will need to make their fantasies real! Which will happen one day.
But yeah! Give pedophile materials they can jerk off on! As long as theyâre not real children!!! Right!!?
Then we hear about fathers raping their daughters and sons! We hear about children being abused! We hear about grooming and so on and on! And we have the nerve to act surprised! Like weâre not normalising it through that shit!
Because we have sites that condone! Yes, condone!!!! This disgusting behaviour!
How much I love society!!!đ„ł
Most of the porn you can find are leaked tapes, rape videos, and overall material where consent isnât even an option.
We are teaching young kids that violent sex is the norm! That bodies should look certain ways! That we should act certain ways during sexual intercourse! And that if they say no to sex, itâs role play or foreplay!!! So itâs okay to push and get what they want!
But yes! Showing kids that love is love is definitely the ruin of our society đ€© #faggot
We also have to remember the working conditions that porn actors have to go through! Especially women! Not being paid enough! Being forced to film even if theyâre not comfortable with it! Having to work with violent people! Being used for sex by directors with the false promise of a better payment! Because, honestly, theyâre barely being paid enough most of the times!
Itâs an horrible work environment, and almost always, people go into sex work because itâs their only option at the moment! Since if you donât have money, no one will help you!
So, is it really a choice if itâs the only one you have?
Ponder on that because I see way too many people playing the âchoice cardâ when we talk about sw.
And prostitution! Itâs extremely dangerous!People will give you illnesses, rape you, abuse you, kill you and so on and on because they donât respect prostitute. They arenât seen as humans, theyâre more like a body that they feel entitled to treat however that want! Why? Because they know the system doesnât care about them, so if they were to fill a report on them, or, worst case scenario, go missing, the government wouldnât do anything about it. They werenât contributing to the world economy, so, who cares! One problem less! They were just sluts!
But yeah, sex work is normalising sex and liberating women sexuality!!!! Go girl!đ„łđ„ł #gatekeep #gaslight #girlboss
Btw, if you feel attacked by what I said or you think Iâm a radical feminist because Iâm against sex work, you should definitely ask yourself a couple of things!
White feminism is one of the main form of harm for women! And one of the main form of hypocrisy and dis-humanity to ever exist!
Feminism is about wanting, and fighting for all minorities rights and equity.
When I say all minorities, I mean all that minorities that are being put in second place when we fight for our rights as women!completely disregarding them! Iâm talking about black women, asian women, latin women, native American women, Hawaiian women, Balkan womenâŠall of this women that not only have to fight agains sexism, but also racism and discrimination because of their races and ethnicities.
We put them in a different box, because yes, theyâre women, but theyâre women of colour firstly, so itâs not really a concern of oursâ!
When white women speake up about their struggles, they need to let go of white supremacy, reject it! Not thrive in it! We shouldnât protest only when we are the ones facing the violences, but also when the others minorities are!
For example, since itâs modern pop culture and everyone and their mothers know of it, we can mention how Taylor swift being in a relationship with that bigoted man is a BIG EXAPLE! If you want to play the role of the victim only when itâs you at the end of the knife, then donât call yourself a feminist! Or a decent person at all! We, as white Women, should acknowledge both the disadvantages that we face as women, but also the privilege that comes with being white; and instead of closing our eyes, we should use the voice that WOC donât have, and scream with them! For them! Not against them with our silence!
Bom! Now we have the definition of white feminism! I speak up when Iâm being harassed as a woman, but stay in complete silence when my sisters are being killed, abused, trafficked, degraded and so on and on because itâs not my problem!
Itâs a big factor in history! Like in the women rightâs movement, where white women refused to include women of colour signatures in their declarations, even though they played a main role, and refused to acknowledge, and act on all the discriminations that WOC were facing ! And stil are!
Itâs not by silencing other women that we will end the patriarchy, because white supremacy and patriarch are tied together!
Feminism isnât an aesthetic! A trend or a secret weapon ! Feminism is by all for all! Stop with that bullshit! Playing the victim in front of others just to paint women of colour as the villains!
Think for just a second !
I am a feminist? Or am I contributing on strengthening the fundaments of this society? Am I thriving in my whiteness? Or am I using it right? Am I a piece of shit?
Let!go!of!your!white!privilege!
This is a short YouTube documentary that I really recommend. The topics that it talks about are: children abuse, pedophilia, sex abuse, children market, non-con sex work, and so on. Iâm a western woman, and the situation here is different , but that doesnât mean that we shouldnât educate ourselves about what goes on in other countries where women are still treated like theyâre not humans. Feminism is about uplifting the minorities and putting everyone on the same page, we shouldnât be self-centered and selfish, please donât feed into white feminism, always educate yourself on what is going on around the word.
Learn 10 ways you can help end human trafficking.
Children account for 27% of all the human trafficking victims worldwide. Learn what you can do to help victims of child trafficking and expl
Sex-selective abortions created a lucrative market for traffickers.
Sex Trafficking in Asia: The Impact of Policy, Economic Opportunity, and Globalization
The femme fatale: independent women or still slaves
Disclaimer!!! This is just my opinion and if I said something wrong on not true, feel free to correct me just please not be hateful, and English is also not my first language, and this is a way for me to work on it as well, so sorry if it's bad; in this essay I will talk about murder, gender norms, stereotypes, tw:man, beauty standard, objectification of women, etcâŠafter saying this, I hope that someone will maybe actually enjoy my essay, bye <3
â A femme fatale, often called a meneater or a vamp, is a stock character of a mysterious, beautiful, and seductive woman whose charms ensare her lovers, often leading them into compromising, deadly trapsâ. This is at least what first came up when I started my reaserch on the topic.
So what we can understand thanks to this, is that a femme fatale is simply a woman who uses her charms to gain whatever she wants from men. I would say pretty cool, but to state this we need to see its origins and understand the purpose, benefits and downs of it.
For starter, itâs an old archetype that we can find in many cultures around the word. In China, for example, thereâs Daji(ćŠČć·±).She was the favourite consort of King Shou of Shang(ćç)and is considered a classic example of how a singular beautiful woman can be the downfall of a dinasty or kingdom if I dare. In the story she was killed by an old fox spirit who possessed her body. King Zhou was so infatuated with her, that he started to neglect his duties and take part in the spirit grousome antics.  âDajiâ, was in fact best known for her interest and enjoyment for torture. The couple would often be found laughing and entertaining themselves, while watching victims dance and scream in agony, since they were beigin burn to death. This method, Paolao (çźç),was in fact Daji invention.
Or in western cultures, like in the Bible. Delilah for example, who nags Samson into telling her where he gets his powers, to then wait till he fell asleep naively on her lap, so she could shave his head eventually causing his death. Even Eve, who just shares the apple with Adam, without any hidden agenda under it, since she still doesnât understand her sexuality and the âpower that lies within itâ, and thus cannot use it willing for her benefits, still get called, either way a seductress, whose intent was leading Adam out of the Eden.
Ironically one of the first âmeneaterâ was actually Lilith, Adamâs first wife who was kicked out of the Garden of Eden because she wouldnât cooperate and obey him.
Or Sirens, whose calls, led sailors to their imminent death;Â
As well the medieval idea that women with extraordinary sexuality were easier to be taken over by the evil and become witches and, in Germany poetry, still in the medieval timeframe, with Frau Minne, a woman that lured and trapped men in birds cages.
This females figures(the femme fatale), became more popular during the 19th century due to the numerous books and poetry pieces, obviously written my males, that talked about women that killed men with their dangerous sexuality.
For example the novel âNanaâ, written by the French author Emile Zola. He tells the story of this girl(18 at the start of her career and narration), that goes from a simple âstreetwalkerâ to a well known and requested high-class prostitute, and how she destroys every man that tries to persuade her. She was an actress in a company, that was actually really bad at both singing, dancing and even acting, but she managed to lour people in just thanks to her âdangerous sexualityâ⊠(I would recommend this book because it shows really well this phenomenon, the only disclaimer is that it can get a little heavy to read, itâs not a fast read. But hey, beauty is pain)
Still regarding the Victorian era, we should also talk about  the rise of females murderers and the fear surrounding the new lifestyle women were adopting. To explain this, we have for example, at mid-century, the phenomenon of females becoming more and more active in public spaces and needing less help from men. In fact the dangerous women of this period were the ones that worked hard for and by themselves, threatening the patriarchal structures that men treasured/ and treasure, plus the gender norms. Obviously I donât even need to explain how this is such nonsense , since if men were to live in autonomy we wouldnât bat an eye, but if women only try, we get called cunning and spoiled bitches.
To go more in depths with this concept, we need to know how aristocratic men also created two types of women: âthe angelâ and the âfallen Angelâ. The first one was the type of woman who followed all the etiquette rules and represented her real role in the family (the slave). The best example of this perfect Victorian woman is in the poem âThe Preserved Angel in the Houseâ by Coventry Patmore; this angel preserved the traditional moral values and put her entire soul into making the house a place where both her husband and son would like to spend their time instead of entertaining themselves in other places.Â
While the âfallen womanâ, was who didnât follow the Victorian rules to be a perfect woman( better said a virgin sex toy or a housekeeper); it refers to a loss of innocence, in fact women social status was always connected to her sexual status.Â
Basically if you didnât act like the stereotypical docile woman, you were viewed directly as a âwhoreâ.
Extract from Patmore book:
Man must be pleased; but him to please Is woman's pleasure; down the gulf Of his condoled necessities She casts her best, she flings herself. How often flings for nought, and yokes Her heart to an icicle or whim, Whose each impatient word provokes Another, not from her, but him; While she, too gentle even to force His penitence by kind replies, Waits by, expecting his remorse, With pardon in her pitying eyes; And if he once, by shame oppress'd, A comfortable word confers, She leans and weeps against his breast, And seems to think the sin was hers; Or any eye to see her charms, At any time, she's still his wife, Dearly devoted to his arms; She loves with love that cannot tire; And when, ah woe, she loves alone, Through passionate duty love springs higher, As grass grows taller round a stone.
Also, since men werenât doing enough just by existing , still in the 19th century,  thought that it was only fair that poor/low class females( from children to grown women), were the easy resources for menâs pleasure and exploitation; while the high class ones, were still only for their personal pleasure and needs, but this time just for their respective husbands. Iâm mentioning this because I really wanna make clear the concept of how women, especially women of colour, were always being viewed just as object and trophies to be shown, and never as human being, and how not taking sides in the whole feminism discourse itâs straight up stupid and  harmful (unless you are in a dangerous environment, then it would be ippocrate for me to say that )
Since I think I made clear how âfemme fataleâ, also means murderer, we should look into the history committed by women and how their beauty worked in that cases too. For example, the first recorded case where the woman won thanks to her charms, is in 336 before Christ in Greece. Here, we see how Phryne, a women who had many lovers, was put on trial for impiety( sacrilege, lack of respect for something sacred), and the penalty was death.When the cards started to look bad for Phryne, her attorney, who also was one of her lovers, pulled off her robe showing her bare body to the judges who pitied her and let her go. After this, she became the muse of so many artist and symbol of feminine attractiveness and the barest of defences in criminal history.
Or how women, especially in 800s, didnât have choices, if not kill their husbands, because poverty was raising and they needed to feed their children, or also because they were victims of domestic violence and, taking in mind the society they lived in, thought this was the only way to come out alive of their awful situation. I donât blame them, but obviously the public response to this was that women were starting to just go crazy and needed to be restricted(since they were definitely free before)
For the present time we then have for example, the book or film adaptation âGone Girlâ, that talks and shows what women can and will do in order to get what they want, or like in Amy Dunne case( the protagonist of âGone Girl), to seek revenge from her husband that treated her like wrongly, by faking her own death and blaming it on him. We can see thanks to this characters how the âfemme fataleâ refuses to submit and tries, even if with morally dubious ways, to seek justice and fairness.
Or with a little bit of humour, Jessica Rabbit, an over sexualised cartoon character in âWho framed Roger Rabbitâ, who literally says âIâm not bad, Iâm just drawn that wayâ, during the film.Â
We can also talk about the new TikTok trend where girl/young women dress up, live life in autonomy and organisation, donât take shit from anybody and fulfil their dreams.Â
And while I think itâs awesome that we are showing that realising ourselves without the need of a partner itâs possible, there lies some problem with it. I wanna in fact point out how dangerous it is that young girls think that, only over sexualising themselves, being skinny, white and the beauty standard will get them to that point.Â
Honestly, overall, what we should get from all of this, itâs how we had to make a name for a woman that itâs just a woman. What I mean by that is, when a man is intelligent, beautiful, charming, independent, hard working, and uses certain situations for his own benefits, itâs just a man who has his own life together. But when a woman does the same things, it becomes a whole issue because we are used to be portrayed as stupid, submissive, that do not work for themselves and need a man to survive.
Personally, I still love the femme fatale because it shows how women can and will use their own intelligence, looks and the male gaze for their own benefits, it feels so empowering and a splash of fresh air, but what really makes my blood boil is how itâs viewed as a bad thing, like man cannot stop themselves and thus be âsafeâ. Everyone has a brain of their own and when women use it, itâs a horrible, selfish and unacceptable thing, but when men think only with their lust, we baby them and call them victims as theyâre not objectifying us and the cause we are doing all of this in the first place. What the femme fatale does, is taking control in a word thatâs against her, and using everything that is built to hurt her, to hurt who wants to harm her.
It also has its downs because it mostly only works when the femme fatale is the beauty standard, that, not funnily enough, were obviously created by manâŠI think that we can see how we live in a word made to make men life easy, and how we really have a long way to go, but speaking up and not following all the rules that society impose towards us can and, in the long run, will make a really big difference.
These are my main favourite sources so you can guys can check them up as well:
Suddenly, she was everywhere. As the end of the nineteenth century neared, the archetype of the femme fatale silently took over the conser
femme fatale, (French: âfatal womanâ) a seductive and beautiful woman who brings disaster to anyone with whom she becomes romantically invo
According to an ages-old lex non scripta, beauty alone is an affirmative defense to any criminal charge, even premeditated murder. A seducti
The infantilization of womenâŠwill we ever be free?
Disclaimer!!! This is just my opinion and so if I said something wrong, or untrue please let me know and we can discuss it together , just donât hate. Then in this essay, I talk about sexism, pedophilia, sex and porn, child exploitation, and rape, plus most of this is based on heteronormativity, so if these make you uncomfortable please donât read it. Also when I talk about women I also intend non-binary, female presenting individuals, and AFAB (assigned female at birth)Thatâs all, I hope someone will read this and like it, bye <3
The other day I was doing some research on the beauty standards for women and AFAB, what men are attracted to, and all of that jazz because I wanted to see where we are now, and after my snooping around on the internet I honestly had a pretty clear vision.
Big eyes, small nose, thin body, big chest, heart shaped face and the most requested age is 22. Then you need to be well groomed(shaved), have good hygiene, be docile, good at sex, and be submissive. We can already start to see a clear pattern; not only does society make women's life even more difficult with its unrealistic expectations, but they also are pretty much predatory.
I decided to start my research on one of the most used websites, Pornhub, so that I could better understand what people seek and are attracted to sexually. This way you can start to touch with your fingertips, an enormous iceberg full of sexism, pedophilia, racism, trauma responses, and so on. Starting with the most searched tags:
- Teens and I donât even think it needs an explanation. People just go out of their way to find adult content that has a resemblance to children; the fact that the words âadult contentâ and âchildrenâ are even near each other says a lot. In these videos we can find very young or barely legal looking girls, with usually pigtails, long socks and childish but also extremely revealing clothes, doing sexual activities with big, masculine and old looking menâŠitâs really easy to understand how this phenomenon is purely paedophilic. This way people can fulfill their sick fantasies without actually consuming child pornography, so at least they are legally ok.
- Japanese, and about this tag thereâs a lot to talk about: the school uniform; the racism; fetishization; etc⊠but here I wanna briefly discuss the Ahegao face. So that we are no the same page, the Ahego or O-face dates from the early 1990s, and it was the expression that a female actor made during an orgasm. But if we were to do more research, we can find out that, the first appearance of this face dates from 1980, in the comic â Shoto Tubakiâ, written by Suehiro Mauro. The origins of it come from the sick fantasies of said man, where he portrays a 12 y/o girl during a rape scene. Not only does that continue to push the dangerous stereotypes of submissive Japanese women, but it also dehumanizes, fetishizes, and exploits them.
- Hentai is the western way to say anime pornography and it derives from the Japanese word for âpervertedâ. It is becoming more and more popular in the porn world, some say because it isnât a human-acted scene so we donât need to worry about consent and morals, but is it the reason?
Personally,I donât think so. In hentai the majority of them, if not all, there are numerous imagines of little girls with extremely big chests and butts; they look both mature and childish, so they can give the âsexy innocentâ look. Anime porn is also filled with violent and non-consensual scenes, continuing to spread the message that women are just objects for menâs pleasure. Obviously , this arenât realistic characteristics to find on a children, so if they want to completely live their wet dreams, hentai is the only legal resource. We can also find a lot of porn content that contains kidnapping, rape, and incest, that said, we can understand that it is a pretty much recurring and popular problem.
So if we were to put all of this information together we would have a clear image. People want innocent âwomenâ because when we talk about innocence we also think about children, and children are naturally submissive, docile, and compliant subjects; Using and manipulating them is far easier than doing it on a grown adult; because men (take men really lightly)want a body to use without any inconvenient in their way.
Still talking about the representation of young girls in pop culture, one of the most famous and begin talked about, even after all these years, is the novel âLolitaâ, written by Vladimir Nabokov. It talks about the relationship between a 12 years old girl named Dolores, and her step-dad Humber, that refers to her as Lolita, thus the title. This novel is also narrated by said step-dad, that sees nothing wrong in what heâs doing and doesnât view Dolores as a victim, making the reader's experience even more disturbing.
We say that this book is one of the âbestâ representations of young girls' over-sexualization and their exploitation because there are so many re-make of it on the internet. We have two films, where both actors were minors, musical adaptation, fashion sub-cultures, and signature items such as the heart sunglasses that Dolores wears and her red lipstick.
Just with these pieces of information, we can start to see how many people want to see and hear about stories like this, whether because they wanna educate themselves or because itâs their guilty pleasure itâs pretty much a mystery.
We can also find references to her in a couple of Lana Del Rey songs and her descriptions of her persona.
Lolita went from a disturbing to a sexual icon for young women, but not for the women perse, more for old men. Also, in the film adaptation, Dolores itâs an elegant and gracious figure, and all of her steps seem carefully planned so that she can always look desirable. While in the original book, Nabokov, highlights her tomboyish figure, the fact that she picks her nose and wedges, and repeatedly says that thereâs nothing beautiful about her. In fact the meaning of this book was to make the public feel uncomfortable and disturbed, so that he could finally be memorable to them, since the rest of his novels were severely ignored. It was all Humber's sick views that made it that way, but still, that didnât stop the directors of both films from making specific scenes, where she looked both âdesirableâ and mature. Not only does this way the main point of the novel gets lost, the point is that we are talking about a normal child who wears and does normal children things, but they are also hinting that she asked for it and it was bound to happen. This way we can better understand how this industry works and the fact that they were trying to make us sympathize and understand the step-dad, whose a rapist and pedophile, in case it wasnât clear enough, because who wouldnât? (note the sarcasm)
But the image of seductive and âmature young childrenâ, is extremely easy to find in general. So many underage actors are continuously begin called promiscuous and put in inappropriate situations.
From the Britney Spear⊠âBaby one more timeâ music video, filmed when she was only 16 years old showing her dressed in a very school uniform that managed to show her bra; to Bjorn AndrĂ©sen who became famous at the age of 14 thanks to the film âDeath in Veniceâ, representing the role of Tadzio.
The film director called him âthe most beautiful boy in the worldâ, gaining international attention from the public and turning him into a sex symbol. Quoting the casting director, Margareta Kramtz : âI was standing next to Visconti(the film director) when this blonde guy turned up. It was plain to see Viscontiâs body come to life. The boy was exquisitely beautiful, with a truly photogenic face. He was a real find. He was a boy with a special charisma. He seems frail. And thatâs really beautiful in a film. You need to be very careful in dealing with children like thatâ. Or the infamous photoshoots for magazines, even really famous one like Vogue, capturing imagines of women in certain poses that want to resemble innocent looks, usually paired with a childish item; whether itâs a teddy bears or strings and bows in the hair, while still, being logically severely underdressed.
At the start, I also mentioned how men usually want a shaved woman that has good hygiene, with this we can briefly mention the body hair debate.
Every day people go out of their way to shave, wax, and put an extreme amount of creams on their skin so that they can preserve their young looks, just to have to go through the same process after a couple of weeks, spending so much money and time in something that maybe they donât really wanna do. If we reflect on this, we will notice that society makes women and AFAB, embrace false womanhood. Because we know that once we start to enter it, hairs start to grow, mature features start to appear, and overall we stop being children; what they want us to embrace is in fact girlhood: Flawless skin, no stretch marks, a supposedly thin body, and a childlike personality. At the same time, we have also to be careful and show only selected parts of the grown woman's body; by that, I mean boobs and butt, then, we have to show them off. If we pay even a minimum of attention, we would also notice that all of these rules donât apply to men and AMAB. They are in fact, always praised and complimented for their mature, âsilver foxâ looks.
âThe association of femininity with docility and dependence relays the infantilization of women and the hair removal plays on the conception of women as childish and/or immatureâ
Travisha Sood on âverdictâ
That said, we can see how gender roles play the biggest role I would dare to say in this debate; because if men/AMAB can have bushes, furs, and insects on their bodies overall, nobody would bat an eye, but if women/AFAB tried to have body hair, a bigger body, strong personality, and different style, society would call them men wannabes, because these are traits that only men can have, or lesbians, because lesbians arenât for men, and so they arenât relevant (if not for the fetishization obviously).
I think that now we can understand we arenât liked because we do not resemble young girls, and so we arenât naive enough to be used as just a body. Overall, saying that the society that we live in profits on childrenâs bodies and vulnerability itâs not enough. Infantilising ourselves for public pleasure( aegyo in K-pop from grown adults, the questionable expression on social media, participating in age-play during sexual interchange) only feeds into it, even more, so please, stop.
But has it always had a pedophilic end to it? Obviously not; to explain it better let me re-introduce the patriarchy and its beliefs that men are the only ones that can, and hold the power. So itâs also a sexist ideology used to show that women are simply not mature enough to do basically anything. For example, hugging a woman while shaking hands with a man, giving them nicknames even though you just met each other, explaining a topic in an overly sweet voice if the disadvantaged gender asks for help; from a psychological standpoint, treating someone like a toddler set dominance because it strips them of their autonomy and authority, objectifying them with its unfair power dynamics. So men that want to continue the stereotypical dynamic between genders, whether itâs purposely or not, tend to baby women.
To wrap it all up, we can understand that the infantilization of women, is used both to assert dominance in dynamics(not only used towards women and AFAB, but to all the other minorities), feeding into sexist, patriarchal, racist deas, and so gender stereotypes; and to feed into the pedophilic ideas and dreams of really sick people. By saying this I can conclude my essay, I really hope it was interesting, these were all of my sources:                                   The base for my entire essay, https://study.com/learn/lesson/infantilization-of-women.html                             Article about hentai https://www.covenanteyes.com/2015/09/04/3-reasons-anime-porn-is-bad-for-you/            Article about the ahegao face https://animemotivation.com/the-history-of-ahegao-face-racism-asians/                       Briefly video about the romanticization of Lolita https://youtu.be/G1gOhewhjbw                 Britney Spears music video https://youtu.be/C-u5WLJ9Yk4                                Mentioned article on infantilized women https://www.theverdictonline.org/post/the-infantilization-of-women-in-mainstream-media-and-society                         Article about the infantilization of femininity  https://thewaynestater.com/21922/opinion/the-infantilization-of-femininity/
It's infuriating how people shamelessly thirst over real serial killers, rapers, and pedos. Richard Ramirez killed 13 people for sure, and has over 50 rape cases attributed to his name, minors included. He is a disgusting human, and it terrifies me how people want to be his, and many other criminals' victims. That does not make you quirky, nor cool, it makes you a terrible person. Please get a grip and think about all the victims and what they had and still have to go through because of these people.
Pick me girls and our internalized misogyny: Man are still the center of our word
Disclaimer!!! This is just my opinion and if I said something wrong on not true, feel free to correct me just please not be hateful, and English is also not my first language, and this is a way for me to work on it as well, so sorry if it's bad; after saying this, I hope that someone will maybe actually enjoy my essay, bye <3
If you identify as a female you know what itâs like to receive sexist comments from the opposite gender, but it is so important to be careful and not do the same things to our own.
From the start, most AFAB have so many stereotypes begin pushed towards them from a very young age, maybe itâs a cleaning set being gifted to us for a birthday, or example, having a wardrobe full of skirts and pink colours, or begin told that we are too weak to help the teacher when moving the chairs around.Â
We feel so left out and boring that, starting to hate everything that society defines as feminine and associates with it, from simple colour to the people as well, seems like the best way to be included and important.
It can starts from an innocent âI hate pinkâ to a âsheâs such a whore, I could never, because liking parties, short skirts and dresses, makeup, hooking up with people, and doing your nails itâs not cool and what females âcan onlyâ do, while liking video games, cars, football, having one-night stands, and fun, if youâre a male, itâs cool, valid and what boys âalso can doâ. Â
What we are talking about is internalized misogyny, meaning quote on a quote from the internet:
âMisogyny is the hatred of, contempt for, or prejudice against women or girls. Women who experience internalized misogyny may express it through minimizing the value of women, mistrusting women, and believing gender bias in favor of men.â Women who simply donât like other women for the way they act and âdecideâ to prefer men because itâs easier.
We can introduce this concept by mentioning Taylor Swift and her misogyny era, and how growing up in the spotlight didnât help it at all. But before that, itâs important to mention that she matured and her beliefs changed, how she had and still has to endure extreme sexism towards her from basically everybody around her, and how this is a sort of protective mechanism that women feel the need to adopt(i talk about this better later on). I would then recommend watching her Netflix documentary âMiss Americaâ where she also talks about it.
You belong with me, one of her most recognized songs is a prime example, where we can find lyrics like:
But she wears short skirts
I wear t-shirts
Sheâs cheer captain
And Iâm on the bleachersâ
Or in âBetter than revengeâ another one of her most famous singles, also with lyrics like:
Sheâs not a saint sheâs not what you think sheâs an actressâ or
Sheâs better know for the things that she does on the mattressâ;
So here we can see how women view and act towards other women, mostly as competition, enemies, or someone disgusting, and instead of helping each other, we point our finger toward the mirror, while the patriarchy, society, and man with this mentality and beliefs are viewed as our knight in the armor or someone precious that needs to be protected.
But why do we act like this?
Regarding the whole Taylor Swift situation, and wanting to preserve a man, itâs because we feel threatened and so shaming other women for having certain behaviors, that we know society wonât tolerate from women, is a way to eliminate them. But we have to remember that if a man were to act in the same way no one would bat an eye because itâs unacceptable and unforgivable only if it comes from a woman. For example, if a female was to respond to some rude comments about her, we(society), would call her moody and with too much of an attitude, while if a man was to do the same thing, it would just be self-defense and it would even be admired. This is what we can call double standards.
To understand this narrative better we can start by mentioning that, it is in human nature to want to feel special, and in a world where males are the center of it, it is just right to want to be special and unique for them, and since we only know that females/femininity = normal and boring, wanting to be different itâs second nature for us, so studying, doing sports, and eating junk food while remaining skinny, having natural clear skin and effortlessly beauty itâs what we have to do so that man will love us.
Because yes! We, women, cannot be intelligent, athletic, and cool if we still are just like every other female, because it is just not in our nature, and if we want to embrace womanhood and everything that comes with it, we have to accept that we will not always be viewed well and we can also be infantilised by men, so that they can establish dominance and continue to work with their gender roles fantasies, (but this is another topic that I would also love to talk about).We need to be different so that we can be likable. And even that doesnât always work, because if we try to reject femininity, we will be viewed as feminist and crazy, and men do not like this. So, who are we really going against? Society or ourselves? And it is even working?
An example that portrays perfectly this situation is in most films for families, especially the ones from the early 2000s, where the protagonist is an âI like cars, hanging out with my brother instead of other girls, pants instead of skirts and burger loverâ type of girl; while the antagonist is more like a âblond chick who likes makeup, boys, pink and slutty dresses because she only dresses to impressâ type of girl. Mean girls; Sheâs all that; a Cinderella story; Twilight, Tall girl; Sierra Burgess is a loser; Sheâs the man; The kissing booth and 10 things I hate about you, are only a few of them. Maybe not all of this film centers around the âIâm not like the other girlsâ trope, but for sure it is here and we donât realize or see anything wrong with it since itâs been projected into our brains forever and now it feels like the norm.
Another place where this trope is so, so popular, is in fan fiction where Y/N only wears messy buns and baggy clothes, is short, reads and studies, while the bad girl, in the story, is always overdressed and a âpick meâ for the male love interest. The most precise and popular example is in the horrendous book âAfterâ by Anna Todd, which was originally a fan fiction of Y/N and Harry Styles, where Tessa, the protagonist, hates and insults all the other girls because they are (allegedly) ânot like herâ and they are sluts, while Hardin, the male protagonist, and love interest, can and does the same things, if not worst, I really canât bother to read it thoroughly, but is always excused because he is a man. Another example in books is in the saga âHarry Potterâ by J.K Rowling where, Hermione and Ginny, shame other girls for not liking books, sports, or simply begin âgirlyâ but we donât mention it because they are just âgirl bossâ
But the whole shaming of other women for having certain behaviors so that we can be accepted actually comes from a long history. We can talk about how white women used to shame women of color to gain protection and attention from white men. Starting by calling black and brown women angry for just standing up for themselves or stating their opinion, to sayings that south East Asian women, Chinese women more specifically, in this case, are just sexual dolls for white men, thus the term âChina Dollâ, or same thing for natives women, with the generalization of calling them all Princess Pocahontas. Over-sexualizing Latinas women, calling Arabs dangerous and the list goes on and on, but no matter what WOC will always be viewed as the sexual prices and the attackers.Â
There is so much more to talk about this, introducing the racism topic as well, but I feel like it needs a whole other essay because we have to discuss so many things. And I need to mention that my inspiration for this paragraph comes from a fantastic book, âWhite Tears/Brown Scarsâ by Ruby Hamad, I would 100% recommend it because you really start to view feminism differently and you can expand your knowledge and opinions.
Taking a few steps back, we can then conclude, especially thanks to the internet where the âmasculineâ female character always manages to overcome her problems and is independent, listened to, and loved, that if we are like the stereotype of the feminine and docile woman we cannot be strong, witty and so on, and man will just not view us as their equal and worth it of their time, simply because we are not like them; because if society means men, then men are âitâ and women are unrelated.
We can also easily find so many examples of ânot being like other girlsâ on social media. Itâs always been a thing, starting from the Tumblr post on Instagram with collages showing the image of a girl in a messy ponytail, no makeup, shorts, and a sports bra, playing video games, while the other girl is in a glittery dress, high heels and full makeup dancing at the prom, highlighting the different lifestyle between the two and, unconsciously making you think that one is better than the other. Or maybe on Pinterest, with images of obviously skinny white girls, in a quirky pose while still being extremely attractive even if they werenât âposingâ for the cameras. And then on TikTok, where people say to be outcasts and different because they like âskinsâ, low-rise jeans, skateboarding, and the neighborhood. Or maybe we can find the myth of âpick me girlsâ, who shame other girls, in front of boys for being too âgirlyâ, so that they can receive male approval.Â
Now, who should we blame for all of this? For starters women are not even an option, what we are doing is protecting ourselves from the sexist world that we live in; that doesnât change the fact that insulting and degrading other women to up ourselves is disgusting. We are in the wrong but not at the fault. Who we should blame, get angry at and try to change is our patriarchal society that continues to push dangerous and uncomfortable stereotypes toward women, in fact, the narrative of men holding all the power and control, while women are just there, itâs still one of the biggest problems in our society. What we can do to try and help the people that are unfortunately victims of this mentality is to try and educate them about sexism and how women already have it unfair. We need to empower each other better than battling because we are just feeding on what society already has been working on and pushing towards us and it needs to put an end to it. By saying this I donât want to invalidate anybody's feelings, and itâs understandable if you donât want to try and educate someone that has been shaming you, you being angry at them itâs understandable and should not be doubted. By saying this I can say that I concluded my essay, and I hope it was interesting, these were my main sources: https://youtu.be/l-VWQlkzHr4 https://youtu.be/m1BWs8hp2hQ https://youtu.be/H7B3VyXBNlU