Untitled @loneboner-97 - Tumblr Blog

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In response to everything.

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Deuces

We don't talk for 2/3 months. I don't start the convo coz I know what it'll lead to. You don't start the convo coz you're pre-occupied. When you finally start one, it's to notify me that it's your birthday. Dw hun, I remembered, but god, aren't you selfish... Have a good day with him, Peace

Can't win

When mum gets pissed off, she doesn't expose her feelings about why she's pissed off... She explains everything that she's ever been mad about, and one of those things is my decision to study languages at Uni. I always knew she wasn't content with that, but what am I s'posed to do ayy? Study something like maths or economics, which I don't enjoy as much? The only way to make her happy is get into Oxford... #mission

They don't know

So I was allowed to go out and have fun and I'm grateful and all... But don't you think if you do something, you shouldn't 'half do' it, you should fully do it with no regrets. So if having fun means drinking, so be it. I wouldn't drink if my family didn't have the countless arguments. I wouldn't drink if I wasn't insulted a lot by my mother. I wouldn't drink if 2013 was a great year. Yet here I am, 'semi-pissed' (as I like to call it) and I still feel regret, pain and doubt. I've let my mum down, and I shouldn't have. Mum I hope you're okay, I love you, and I'll do my best to make you happy, I promise. I love you

Not your average teen

I'd honestly say about 97% of the teenage population is going out tonight or seeing friends, whether it involves drinking or not? I want to be part of that, but I'm not changing my character just to be invited to the 'cool parties'... I stick to my friends, my group. So imagine how I feel when I get invited round to chill with some of 'em... Chuffed, you'd think, but there's always that thought in the back of my mind saying 'mum won't let you, mum won't let you'. And boy was I right. The look she gave me when I said 'Can I...?' was enough to make me realise it wouldn't happen. Like seriously, which 16 year old stays at home with his mum, no TV, no video games, no entertainment. Watching the fireworks when it strikes midnight is the same old, every year. I hate it. Even worse when on one NYE, I found out my 'da cheated on my mum. NYE doesn't bring many great memories, and I'm not even allowed a chance to change that this year. Just let me go out, mum.

hiqhsouls

loneboner-97

She's so gorgeous fuckkk

I can't do it

If this isn't resolved by 2013, I dunno what I can do. Run away? With barely any money? Seems like a bad idea... I can't take this pain any longer. 2014 will be another bad year I bet. I wouldn't go to the extremes of self harming and I'm not suicidal, but things are getting ridiculous now. I try and do right but it's not good enough for some people. I'd love to see every member of my family blossom and fill their full potential, so they can live happily. That'd make me happy too. But if things continue like this, happiness will become a distant memory and one of us will crack.

Temporary happiness

It's sad how someone can be mildly happy for about 1 and a half days and then face reality again; arguments, shouting & abuse. Writing on Xmas day about your life as a way of expressing your loneliness should NOT be the way a teenager spends Christmas. Worst of all, these negative emotions all stem from the 1 person every kid should love; their mum. Unnecessary insults have become a part of her daily routine. I can't remember the last time she was nice to me. And now I'm sat here alone, on Xmas day, wondering how my 2014 will shape up. How can you expect me to be optimistic when 2013 was undoubtedly the worst year of my life. Tbh I don't see myself getting through 2014, be it emotionally, mentally, physically, or...

Desperate escape

Household? Hellhold* not a day has gone by where I haven't heard a shout and an insult. And it's not just 1 person saying it. Everyone plays a part, even me. But the anger which fuels my outbursts is a result of the others'. It's a cycle, an endless one if I'm honest. Take today. My brother asked me to come round to watch the footy, chill and stay the night. What a nice older bro. Should be fine. But no. Mum was on the verge of stopping me because she can't accept the idea of me having fun. I just need an escape from her and the house. Teenagers shouldn't feel like this. Any chance of my house being classified as a 'home' has now completely vanished. Can't wait til uni, then I'm out for good, and trust me, I won't be back. I'd rather spend 95% of my money on rent than be back in that place.

Single life is better

Trust me on this one. Falling for someone is shit. Even worse when they have a girlfriend/boyfriend. Besides, being single is like freedom; you get to flirt with whoever ya like, and noone can blame you. Being attached or in a relationship is effort and although it brings a feeling of unity and protection from loneliness, it will almost inevitably be a temporary sensation, rather than the considerably longer period of time in which you can enjoy freedom.

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Shouldn't be like this

Idek where to start tbh, how is it that a 16 year old kid takes it upon himself to buy his mum a Xmas gift she's been wanting when he has no source of income? It's a selfless good deed I wanna do for my mum but I'm struggling to find reasons why I should as she's driving me out this house with every word she says. It's either an insult or shouting. Like, I think she's forgetting who was there for her when her husband cheated on her. I dealt with it pretty much every day since march. That's almost 10 months, in which I also had my GCSEs. How do I revise when I've got constant bickering? It continues to this day. I feel lost. Don't really have a purpose. We live this cycle where we get an education, a job, a salary, and we live a life. Whilst 99.9% of the world is ok with that, I'm not. I wanna mean something to someone. I don't see that happening for a while tbh. Silent soldier gonna go weak at the knees.

Blessing in disguise

Having only a few followers on tumblr is great coz I can express myself without having to answer any questions about my posts, which would come as a result of having lots of followers. Ty tumblr for being there for me, top friend you are 👌

Pressure

It's so unfair how school, parents and everyone can come down on you like a ton of bricks. How can you expect me to do well in school when I've got 730612983 other thoughts on my mind, 90% of which involve you 2. The constant fighting, the midnight arguments. It's hard ya know. And as goes for my brother, just leave him be. The things he does which might annoy you are my catastrophic AND he'll be moving out soon. 2013 has been the worst year of my life. Without a shadow of a doubt. Where's the credit I get for 9 A*s? Coulda been 10 if you didn't start shouting the morning of my history exam, Mum. Oh and as for you, 'Dad' pls fuck off coz I can't stand the sight of you. You complain about the fact that you pay my school fees? You brought it on yaself. Wanting to brag that your son studies a year up has a cost ya know... Oh and Mum, if you're gonna be mad at someone, do it right. Don't get everyone on your team, forgive him and then expect us to forgive him too. If it's taken me 16 years to realise he's a low-life piece of shit, you surely know that by now too...?

Grades

Certain teachers snaked it. Like how is getting 93% and 92% in 2 modules the equivalent of a B?! It's not. Fair enough if you're trying to push us harder to succeed but that's just disheartening. It puts us down. Like, cut us some slack. And how can 1 test result decide your grade. It's stupid. So if I do 10 good homeworks and completely flunk out on the test, I get a C? Be real. Of course I'd revise for the real exam much more! Bit harsh tbh... Oh and you! Deceptive, smiley twat. In every homework I've got an A AND my test score was an A too so how did I get a B? Explain pls.

escroto

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