okay realised i simply cannot be bothered to do that so i'm just going to make an updated pinned under here!
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 blog intro 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝
hi! you can call me lonely, marcus, or ani
my pronouns are he/him, it/its, ae/aers or void/voids - though if you want to use neos go for it! i'm fine with anything that isn't she/her :)
i am nonhuman, otherkin and very much dead! feel free to ask about it :)
this is a secondary account i use to post about trans stuff, discourse, venting, personal posts, and to attempt to bring awareness to some of the vile people i see on this site. please do not ask for my main, i will not give it to you.
i'm british, 19, a student, and a bi transmasc - have been on testosterone for nearly a year at this point (scary)
i'm also autistic, if you couldn't tell. i have ocd, depression, anxiety, and suffer with dissociation and memory issues, so please bear with me if i forget things or take a while to get back to you on something.
my asks and dms are open! feel free to ask or send me anything (within reason of course).
a lot of posts on this blog will be triggering. i will try to tag everything appropriately but sometimes i miss things, please be warned.
just a reminder that this-site-isnt-safe-for-me is back to, quote, 'pedo posting' in the name of youthlib. the pedo necklace and flags have made their returns also. cw for the screenshots under the cut.
yes transmisogyny is a massive, awful, real issue that affects millions of women around the world and puts their lives at risk every day. yes this site and its staff are biased against trans women and unfairly scrutinise and ban them. however - equating the site banning open pedophiles who post and post and post and remake so they can keep posting their sexual fantasies about kids, and who happen to be transfem, to transmisogyny is fruitless at best and actively detrimental to the trans community at worst.
sometimes it isn't about gender at all! sometimes it's about, you know, supporting people who tell the whole userbase on a public blogging site that they drive around playgrounds and schools to masturbate to children! transphobes and bigots have been trying to equate being trans, especially being transfem, to being a child predator for decades and sometimes it feels like half of this site's popular 'transfeminists' have just decided to hand them ammo on a silver fucking platter.
i don't know. this might be a bad post. i don't think i'm phrasing my point very well, but i just feel endlessly frustrated at the moment by the state of ''discourse''. i don't know.
Holy shit, imagine being such an evil person that you recognize that there is an ongoing harassment campaign against trans women but also you believe all the propaganda.
Holy shit.
These people really think they shouldn't be burned alive.
You accusing people's writing of being AI without proof is not helping anyone
lmfao do you think someone can write 25,000 words in less than two days organically. also you can read the writing and quite literally see for yourself
i keep wanting to block anything related to transandrophobia because it's just so overwhelming to be bombarded by nonsense. and yet i feel a sick voice telling me i am a bad person for avoiding political discussion - that i MUST subject myself to this or i am evil. yes i have ocd. knowing that doesn't help quiet the feeling.
this blog is how i don't go crazy. i'd seek out all these horrible things regardless, because (to my own disappointment) i am a massive drama fiend - this gives me somewhere to vent about the worst bits.
as someone with ocd i know it might not mean much but it doesn't make you a bad person to not look! i've had to block all terms relating to my worst intrusive thoughts from my phone to try and stop triggering it and it helps a bunch.
I think it’s way funnier that I saw a picture of Tara Knights book and it’s just screenshots of her articles in there. Some screenshots are just sideways????
I kinda doubt that this was even a vent post to start with and if it was then she probably should have just taken it down and apologized instead of trippling down.
there's a fourth one now. incroyable! tara must have superpowers to be able to write so fast.
yeah, it wasn't a vent post. it was, like most of her other recent essays, an attempt to put something inflammatory out into the world to get the attention that's been slowly fading since the fbi letter debacle back.
this is probably (hopefully) the last thing i'll say on this whole puppygirl essay situation.
there are too many people taking those essays (and the brand new one that came out this morning - what a surprise!) seriously. they are not serious works. sure, their impact can be serious, especially on here, as they're lashing out at a very vulnerable group - but they are not serious works.
they're a total of like twenty five thousand words of barely edited ai slop, all generated within a two day period, that people for some reason keep trying to analyse and respond to like the texts themselves matter at all. they don't! they're a sad lying grifter's deplorable attempt to ragebait/suibait marginalised people into giving her attention and then directing that attention towards her bank account. that is legitimately all they are. why do you think the were posted when her book was just coming out? all of these obtuse responses on her blog are more of the same.
i'm not trying to say that the impact they had on vulnerable people on here wasn't serious, because i've seen too many girls saying they've self-harmed or been sent into a spiral over especially the first one, but like. the actual texts, the literature that is being generated, do not deserve a second of your time and attention. their supposed author couldn't even be bothered to write them!
(Anon because I'm worried about this getting traced to me irl)
Even beyond any of the content in Tara's articles (of which I agree with you, I think they're likely all at least AI-assisted, it's obvious to anyone that reads fiction) the sheer volume at which she puts them out is near impossible, in my view.
Not a single academic I know can write an 8k word essay in a day, especially one that has citations that you, ya know, had to read. The idea that she's writing one essay a day? Unbelievable. I've spent the better part of the last month working on a conference paper that's around 3.5k words, and it's still not error-free, unlike what Tara is producing.
She's not a real academic, nor does she need to be. I'm not upset that she's generating essays because of concern for academic integrity, but because (again, like you said) she's gifting money from a vulnerable group. What a horrible, fucked up thing to do.
yeah. the speed at which she's supposedly 'writing' all of this is, um. unrealistic? especially given she said the puppygirl essays were both written last night--
--with the third follow up one apparently written today. that's a total of over twenty thousand words in two days at the higher end of the estimate, less than twenty-four hours at the lower. i'm not an academic, but as a student i can maybe fully plan and write a pretty shoddy two thousand word essay with citations in six hours with breaks, at a push.
you're right. it's really, really not about academic integrity. it's about lying and grifting to get vulnerable and marginalised people's admiration and sympathy - and then their money. tara has absolutely no qualms doing this if we look at her behaviour from the fbi letter situation onwards.
i'm very mature so im going to ai generate fanfic about a theoretical trans woman reading my essay and being mad then learning from it instead. incredible. breathtaking.
ppl like tara knight reinforce my deepseated fear of being a burden. it makes me want to end myself thinking about the burden i place on my loved ones every single day as a disabeld autistic tranny. i havent been able to work in over a year, i can barely leave the house, i need assistance eating. so i just dont eat, i dont ask for help going outside, i force myself to do things that hurt me to clean around the house because im terrified my partners will decide im not giving enough and leave me to die. id rather die than go back to my parents
anon i love you. there are so many people that love you and support you and always will, and as a fellow disabled autistic tranny no matter how you feel i promise you you aren't a burden. that essay is deplorable and disgustingly ableist - please please please don't let it affect you like that. you don't have to 'give enough' to deserve to be here.
Hello. This is a petty post. I am aware it's a petty post. I'm going to preface this with full transparency that it's a petty post borne of frustration more than anything else, but it's genuinely started to make me angry how lauded Ms. Tara Bundleofstyx has been among people who call themselves transfeminists when if you open any of her essays or anything else posted on her Substack it's so ridiculously, glaringly obvious to anyone with eyes that the vast majority of her work is at least assisted by, if not written fully by, AI. I'll focus on the more prose-y stuff to start with, because I find it easier to recognise LLM 'speech patterns' in fiction - but the issues with AI generation aren't with that, they're with the works people continue to tout as 'theory'. If someone can't be bothered to write it, why should anyone read it, let alone incorporate it into how they see the world?
The fictional vampire story I feel is full of glaring examples of... nonsense. A lot of these hallucinated metaphors/similes make no sense. Some examples below:
I don't think this one was fully AI, though. You can tell when it's written by a human because the tone and format changes drastically. See here:
AI use in fiction isn't great, especially considering she's still using it to beg for KoFi donations, but a lot of people do it. I have an issue with it (obviously) but at the very least, fictional stories and poetry aren't trying to posit themselves as trailblazing feminist literature.
The hallucinations in the more serious essays are a lot more damning. In this, the quote assigned to Dworkin does not exist - in fact, the link leads to a ChatGPT enquiry instead of any academic work or human-written source. In others, hallucinations are much more easily seen in the references - see here for some mild, sort of explainable examples:
(Why cite the same work twice in a row? In the essay, there are no numbered footnotes, so there's no reason to do this in the bibliography.)
(This is from the bibliography of this - this isn't a source. It's barely a reference. It reads like someone asked ChatGPT 'give me a source for XYZ' and it spat this out when it couldn't find one. You can't just say 'multiple secondary sources' in a bibliography.)
And here for something that makes absolutely zero sense to me:
This is not how you cite things. This was written by AI - this is not how a human writes. In every essay with citations (which she only started doing recently, by the way), the formatting is different. Some have numbered footnotes, some don't, some just have a bit list of works, some have these weird little 'snappy' commentaries included which feel painfully LLM:
That's only the footnotes.
To be honest with you, I cannot bring myself to comb through all of these essays full of slop to find examples of LLM writing. The vast majority of her essays manage to say absolutely nothing in their needlessly high wordcount. I'm sure there are points in there made by Tara herself that are good, but they are all discounted by the AI use.
Obviously, what I've said so far has skirted around the biggest issue with Tara and AI - the FBI letter debacle that preyed on the fear and instability of the trans community as a whole to beg for donations and grift. I'm sure everyone reading this has heard about it, but a reminder of, uh.
This.
To top it all off:
Okay. Sure. Whatever.
Tara is using the veneer of transfeminism to grift for money from an incredibly marginalised community. I think that's deplorable, personally. Her KoFi is linked at the top and bottom of every article of slop she posts. She's put out a physical book that she's begging people to buy. I
'm incredibly glad the puppygirl essay is making more people realise that she's not a good person, and I hope that in the future she'll change, apologise, and maybe even start putting out some essays that she actually wrote.
Dear followers. Would you allow me to bitch for a second? This 'essay' by Tara Knight is fucking disgusting.
I personally think that large parts, if not all parts, of this were generated using AI, but this is unprovable so we'll ignore that for the sake of my argument. Disregarding this it is still unreadable. It's eight and a half thousand words of making up a traumatised, disabled, unwell transfem to get mad at to excuse disgusting ableism and incredibly blatant transmisogyny.
The bad traits of this theoretical disabled transfem are framed right off the bat as inherently male. A trans girl being too mentally unwell to work, too exhausted to do chores, too depressed to do anything and having meltdowns every day is put on the same level as the actual weaponised incompetence of her chauvinistic male relatives. In a best case scenario this could just be a very, very poor-taste comparision, but then you keep reading and -
-oh, okay. The 'puppygirl' isn't really a woman, she just wears women's clothes. Alright.
Let's try and sympathise for a second with this caricature. You are disabled. You are traumatised. You are in a very bad place at the moment and need to depend on your partners to survive.
You then find out that your partners are literally calculating the hours per week they spend on your 'emotional labour'. They don't think you're a real woman, and they decide that the reality of your existence is against Marxism, actually, so there's no point in it continuing. You're kicked out by the people you thought cared about you, and you, as a disabled and traumatised transfem who needs a caregiver, are most likely left to die alone. Great! Very transfeminist of Tara.
Having emotional breakdowns is manipulative, the same way memory issues are manipulative, the same way self-hatred is manipulative, the same way being disabled is manipulative. What this piece of writing is is a long, bigoted caricature of an imaginary leech on society. The solution presented is abandoning a disabled person who needs a caregiver to die alone. It reads like someone enabling all of their partner's unhealthy, destructive coping mechanisms while seething about it under the surface (which lends credence to all of the self-hatred this theoretical woman is experiencing), then, together with the rest of their support network, dropping them out of nowhere with no communication.
I'm not saying that the 'puppygirl' in this is necessarily a good person. But what this story is telling us is that she's extremely depressed, disabled, traumatised, and self-hating - she isn't weaponising incompetence, she genuinely cannot do these things. You are allowed to be frustrated by this, obviously. But there are ways to resolve things that aren't just Oh, we're all going to leave the disabled tgirl to die because she's too annoying. I am very materially transfeminist and love my sisters, but only the ones I decide are useful enough to be loved.
This isn't relevant to the point I'm trying to make or important but also the way it's written is just stupid. Every paragraph repeats the same sentence five times at the very least to try and sound smart. It's not smart. It reads, again, like AI has written it.
