[weltenwellen]

Joy Sullivan, from “These Days People Are Really Selling Me On California”, Instructions for Traveling West

[kafk-a]

Julian K. Jarboe, ‘First Contact, Communion’ from Everyone on the Moon Is Essential Personnel

[catautism]

[Text ID: I don’t want to feel better; I want to know better.

I should have known that God is not in the meal

but in the sharing of the meal. I should have told you

that holiness resides in needing each other,

in acts of survival made generous. /End ID]

[leadandblood]

Okay but is nobody gonna talk about "my father drank gin" and "put a bullet through my head before i drink gin" like is nobody going absolutely insane over that-

Well i am and im gonna talk about it.

The tragedy of children picking up drinking because they saw it in their parents and so it's much easier to fall into it. And their brain justifying being drunk on something else, as a defence mechanism, against feeling just as bad as their parent. They're drinking something else, so they can't be exactly like them right? But in reality it's often just as bad and sometimes even worse.

This is also genius because all you get is two innocent lines and that's all it takes for you to realise Crozier's past with alcoholism.

"my father drank gin" could just be a thing you say during a toast. "aah, my father loved gin, it's nice remembering things about him" but no. Here it's said so bitterly and hatefully, you know for a fact he drank a lot and Crozier HATED that about him. We can also assume he's dead from something alcohol induced.

And then the other line "put a bullet through my head before i drink gin" - despite what the words actually say - is also something you could say as a joke, when your friend offers you gin, you know. "you want me to drink WHAT??" Sort of thing. But here you kind of feel like... He means it. It's said with so much resentment and stubborness, he might as well mean it literally. "Kill me before i become my father." Because Crozier hated him so much he wants to become nothing like him. Even when it's through impressive mental gymnastics.

It's just agony to think about-

[authenticity2025]

When death finds you, may it find you alive -African Proverb

[thehopefulquotes]

“The course of true love never did run smooth.”

— William Shakespeare

[asoftepiloguemylove]

William Shakespeare // pinterest // Feel Good (2020-2021) cr. Joe Hampson & Mae Martin // Natalie Diaz These Hands, If Not Gods // Sandra Cisneros Woman at Hollering Creek: Stories; "Never Marry a Mexican" // Holland NUMBER BOY // Richard Siken Crush // 스물다섯 스물하나 Twenty-Five Twenty-One (2022) dir. Jung Ji-hyun // Sappho // Dodie She // Maureen Seaton Furious Cooking; "Swan Lake" // unknown // Frank Ocean Forrest Gump // แปลรักฉันด้วยใจเธอ I Told Sunset About You / I Promised You the Moon (2020-2022) dir. Naruebet Kuno & Tossaphon Riantong // Danez Smith Recklessly (via @tendermimi)

[deadliterarysociety]

in english we say: "I love you."

but in poetry we say: "Tell me every terrible thing you ever did, and let me love you anyways."

[kaleb-is-definitely-sane]

I wish that you would just hug me and call me beautiful and tell me that there is nothing in my heart that needs to be healed. That i am not an abomination, that i am not unnatural, that i am not detestable. That my flames are not from hell, but are from the passions of your heart. That my heart fires are from your heart fires

[cocklessboy]

The other day I told a friend of mine that I never forget to take my ADHD meds because I fucking love my ADHD meds. I'm in my late 30s, I didn't finally get a diagnosis and meds until less than two years ago, and they have changed my entire life.

And he raised his eyebrow at me. We'd been discussing addictive medications a few minutes before, like the Tramadol I finally got from the pain specialist to take once a week or so to give me a break from my chronic pain, so I reassured him that methylpenidate (Ritalin/Concerta) is not addictive (at least not in people with ADHD).

His response? To raise his eyebrow even harder and say "Well it sure SOUNDS like it's addictive!"

And I had to explain to this man - who works in a healthcare related job by the way - that just because medication makes you feel good and helps you, just because you look forward to taking it, that doesn't make it addictive or dangerous. And he wasn't convinced.

The simple fact that I was excited to take a daily pill that has literally changed my life, after decades of fighting to get that medication, made him think I shouldn't be taking it so often. That it must inherently be dangerous.

I'm not even in America, but I'm pretty sure this attitude began there and then spread over here to Europe. This Puritan idea of "if something feels good, you must beware of it. Pleasure is dangerous, it is sinful, it is addiction, it is evil."

I know too many people who subconsciously believe that pleasure = addictive = dangerous = bad. Joy is a slippery slope to hell.

So here is your reminder for today that you don't need to be afraid of feeling good. If something improves your life, use it. Even if it is addictive - learn what that addiction means, whether the addiction is inherently dangerous or not, and whether the benefits outweigh the drawbacks and risks.

My ADHD meds are, in fact, not addictive. But I will take them every day because they make my life orders of magnitude easier. I will enjoy them every time I take them.

My tramadol is addictive. I will still take it. I will keep it on a schedule to avoid becoming addicted, primarily because addiction in this case would mean reduced effectiveness. But I am not afraid of my painkillers. They are life changing.

Take your meds, everyone. Don't let anyone scare you away from doing something that improves your life.

[weltenwellen]

ugh why must I be always so repulsed by my own vulnerability but I find it very moving and impressive if other people are vulnerable with me????

[weltenwellen]

Brené Brown, Daring Greatly

[marietheran-archived]

(By the way, I thank You for the stars)

I guess I’m not asking for miracles now

I guess when I talk to St. Therese I can do without roses

I only ask for a mundane peace

And a lack of fear

At Mass, during the Transfiguration, I pleaded

“but a thread from Thy Robe and I’d be healed”

And then I knew,

You were giving me Yourself but I couldn’t –

I stood before the Altar and wrung my hands in thought with no resolution

You know best what I need,

then give me that –

but suddenly I’m afraid

The easiest prayer is “help”

and then to drop into soothing darkness

But I jerk up my head, unable to faint at a whim

I sometimes wish we still wore corsets

I guess I’m not a saint

maybe I should trust You more

I sat on a swing today though I’m far too old for that I think

It felt like flying, if only a little

I’m still unhappy and scared

But I need to end this poem and not with the night

By the way, I thank You for the stars

(11.06.23)

edit: the context for anyone who doesn't follow me is that I have a huge problem with scrupulousity

[destroyxsomethingxbeautiful]

[weltenwellen]

the overwhelming feeling of sadness sometimes when someone treats me with kindness

[deviika]

Sylvia Plath // Fyodor Dostoyevsky

[weltenwellen]

Danez Smith, Don't Call Us Dead

[thepersonalquotes]

Shop

[weltenwellen]

Carol Rifka Brunt, Tell the Wolves I’m Home