Between the Shadow and the Soul

Multi-muse, semi-selective. Mun 24, Muses 18+.

[marimelwrites]

long-gone-dream​:

Strangely, what was once a struggle was impossibly smooth sailing with Maddie. Noah didn’t hold onto words he would have with anyone else. Choking on his words was all he ever seemed to do. The only time he was in his element was when his eyes were closed and he was slipping his fingers along black and white keys. Now it seemed he found a new home, a new sort of element. His fingers slipped over skin, his eyes didn’t have to be closed. The green hues didn’t shy away from looking at the beauty so close to him. No was important for more than what he could do, but for the person he could be when he looked at her. God, looking at her made more sense than playing music with his eyes closed. She was pledging herself against his lips, giving herself over to him and only seeking his devotion in return, but she couldn’t possibly understand that he was more than devoted. He was panicked at even the thought of what might happen when they managed to pry themselves away from one another. Even the thought nearly forced his fingers to tighten, to keep her near, but he didn’t want to frighten her with such desperation. She was his, but that didn’t mean he could claim ownership in such a dire manner. Noah praised her fingers on his skin with an inhale, bringing his chest to rise against her touch. Kissing, stealing his breath away, he was stuck in the high even as she parted to speak again but the words hit him deeper than any breath he could take in would ever. Show him, she wanted to show him and he wanted to understand what that could mean. If everything about Maddie was his, then it was only fair that he give her everything. Wasn’t he giving her everything? Wouldn’t he give her everything she wanted? His lips quivered before he spoke the words, nervousness hard to push away in the face of such a heavy pledge. “I want to give you everything, Maddie.”

It was palpable, the way she seemed to tremble around him suddenly. Through their brave adventure of seeking skin and beautiful affection there had be very little real fear, but he could feel it coming off of her. What could she be afraid of? Noah hummed gently as her fingers moved, his lips rising into the faintest of smiles. Hopefully, if she could see how happily receptive he was to her exploring then she wouldn’t have any fear. The smile dropped as she continued to speak. The sort of words coming from her lips were the sort he didn’t think he could survive. How was he supposed to survive such a request? How could he keep his hands from shaking against her skin? What was he supposed to do to to keep himself calm when all he could think about was what she could mean with such a request? Noah attempted to swallow down his shaken breath, but even speaking was beyond his ability. Then again, on second thought, he didn’t need to speak to be heard by Maddie. They communicated easier without words. His fingers rose from within her sweater, slipping from the fabric to slide along the skin of her cheeks. It was a tender motion, slow and yet full of intention. As soon as his fingertips reached the nape of her neck he urged her in, closing the smallest gap that was left between them. His lips weren’t urgent, they didn’t seek to claim anything from her except that softness only they seemed to be capable of.

No kissed her for a long moment, exchanging that silent agreement that was an answer to her plea, but his hands didn’t stay in place. They dropped to her hips but didn’t still, moving along the waistband of her jeans before hooking his fingers into the belt loops. Guidance, that’s all they served purpose for. A reason to stay in his lap if she desired, neither a strong pull or an urge forward came. His lips parted from hers but only to land against her throat, where he could speak and not feel the weight of her eyes on him. “I want you, completely.” Repeating the word was an emphasis on how badly he wanted to move forward. Noah wanted to dance with Maddie always, to feel her and cherish the moments they could spend together. He wanted to wake up and feel light as he had that morning. “Let me show you I’m yours and that you mean everything to me. I want to show you, Maddie.” With those words uttered against her skin finally came the urge against her belt loops, a pull forward against him that he didn’t think he was capable of. Noah breathed against her skin in a shaken attempt to gather himself, his fingers leaving the belt loops to slip dangerously past the line in the metaphorical sand. Fingertips rounded her back pockets, spreading over the denim but making no attempt to clutch at the curved backside of the woman on his lap. He was nervous, which had to be completely normal if it was so important, right? His heart felt like it was going to burst, but in the good sort of way that reminded him he was alive. Soft kisses along her neck turned to a need for more, but how was he supposed to search for more skin when he didn’t know where to start? Even such a permissible reason, or what seemed as though she was asking him to take what skin he wanted, he still worried that he might go too far. He worried that he might take too much or ask for too much. No dared to lean back, looking up to her eyes to watch the way she might react to his smallest movements. Palms pressed to her back pockets, he helped her hips roll into his own and let out a soft groan into their space.

In the quiet space around them, the soft promised words spoken by Noah carried a weight that was undeniable. Madeleine’s breath caught when she heard those words, but more powerful still were his actions. It was in the way his fingers grazed her skin, and slid over her cheek that had her breathing shakily as her eyes fluttered closed to revel in the touch before opening once more just in time to see him closing the space between before his lips touched her own. Despite the things they’d both declared, the kiss was still soft, beautiful in the way that it also felt like it said so much while still not turning demanding. Noah had never seemed to push to take advantage. Every touch, and every kiss, he gave with a level of respect to her that she had never once received from anyone before. Although the kiss wasn’t desperate, it was an obvious answer to what she had been requesting. She couldn’t miss the understanding in what he was doing.

Feeling his hands move lower, tracing the waistband of her jeans, she finger her fingers tremble against his skin in anticipation. When his lips found her throat, even to speak, a soft sigh escaped her as she felt her heart thundering inside her chest. Then he spoke words that she wasn’t sure she would hear. Those words calmed any lingering fear of rejection, pushing them completely away. She nodded at his words before she answered in a mix of whispered words that still displayed the level of feelings and emotion she felt for him. “Show me, Noah…” She would show him the same. Those words sealed the promise. Things were about to change for them, and despite knowing that they had only spent a short time together, Madeleine knew this was right. It was as if every fiber of her being knew that this man was a part of her, that she was a part of him, that they belonged together. This wasn’t some careless decision made in the heat of the moment, this was a choice she was making because Noah was indeed whom she was put on this earth for. He was the other half of her, and she knew this without a shadow of a doubt.

His hands moved lower and she felt her breath pick up as he did, his kisses against her neck drawing yet another sigh as the fingers of one hand slipped through his hair, not forcing him anywhere but also showing him that she enjoyed the attention he paid her. As he leaned back, Madeleine’s eyes fell to him as he rolled her hips into his and simultaneously a moan intermingled with his, an answer that the sensation drew pleasure from her as well as him. With that space Madeleine’s eyes lingered on Noah’s for a moment longer before running down to see where her one hand had lifted his sweater, and she followed the trail of her fingers over his skin with her gaze. There was no rush in the exploration of her touch, but it was different. She touched him knowing that this man was hers, and she was his. She wanted to know every inch of his skin. Just then, her eyes lifted again to meet his as she slowly leaned in towards him, her hips rolling into his of their own volition, his name passing through her lips before she kissed him. She didn’t know what she was doing, everything she did was purely on instinct, and she hoped that Noah would guide her as they began to give themselves over to one another. Her kiss spoke volumes, letting him know that anything he wished to touch, anything he wished to claim, he could and she slowly moved to kiss along his neck in that same way her touch had changed. She claimed his skin, kissing him, worshipping each bit that her lips landed on before allowing Noah to take the lead.

[long-gone-dream]

All the permission he needed was provided. She reiterated the want for him to give himself to her, the words were there and he shouldn’t feel any hesitation. Yet, he wanted to be soft. He wanted to be slow and give her room to stop. Noah wanted to break the habit of meaningless with something that mattered. With Maddie, showing how he felt and how he belonged to her would be easy once he started. Would she find ease in it? Would she feel comfortable with him once things became more intense than the current? The pull of her hips against his was glorious, but not as beautiful as sensation as the sound of her ringing in his ears. She enjoyed it. If that was to be enjoyed, then he didn’t need to be as timid. Before he could take the less timid approach she was leaning in, eyes moving up from his chest to his own and then she was on his lips. The kiss was exactly as he wanted, filled with more than the softness they’d exchanged before. Still gentle, still careful, and yet not as cautious as the first part of the morning. Noah couldn’t catch his breath against her lips as he wished with every roll of her hips, but it was becoming more difficult to ignore the way he wanted to know her. Luckily, as if she could sense he needed to breathe, she moved her lips to his neck and he was shaken. Vibrating from both the nervousness and the overwhelming feeling of wanting, he took action. It was slow, yet held meaning. His arm hooked around her waist and kept her in place as he rose, easily lifting onto his feet. He didn’t make any effort to speak, afraid he would say the wrong thing or not say anything at all even if he opened his mouth. What could he say? That she was beautiful? That he was glad to be there, proving his devotion and the way they belonged? It would only sound ridiculous past his lips.

Standing, Noah could feel all of her pressed against him still. All of the warmth from before, just the absence of her newly confident hips moving into his own. He stepped forward with confidence, holding her up as he walked, but he didn’t know where he was going. Away from the couch, from the informality of it. There had to be somewhere more proper, more meaningful than a couch. Stopping to keep her hooked into the moment, he pressed her back against the wall in the hall he’d started down, though it wasn’t a force filled with passion that he back hit the wall. It was soft, a carefully placed position. His hands raised and cupped her face, where he gave her the passion he’d been holding back in his efforts. Lips captured hers with more intensity, though it was his hips that held her against the wall. Kissing her was becoming his favorite thing of all quickly. It felt like he could never get enough, even if he tried. Lifting away from the wall, No was careful enough to place a hand around her thigh to keep her up around his waist as he continued on down the hall. He pushed through a cracked door and wasn’t certain where they ended up, but it didn’t matter. Lips parted from hers, he finally spoke. “I’m nervous.” Such an admission came with a smile against her cheek bone, faint and followed by a shaken breath. “It’s not a bad thing to be nervous though, right? That’s just more reason to know this is all important.” His hand around her thigh loosened, but it wasn’t without second thoughts. What if she hadn’t been talking about something like what he’d thought? What if what she wanted was to stay on the couch and keep them at the safest of lengths without being far? Maddie was lowered from position at his waist and he didn’t step back, realizing it was another dance they’d be performing if this was what she wanted.

The dance now was different. It was a waltz of gentle touches, coaxing here and there of buttons and fabric. No was careful, keeping his chest against her own though he found her eyes. “Tell me to stop when you want to stop, okay?” His hands closed around the bottom hem of her sweater, though he had to take another reassuring swallow of air down into his lungs before he could lift. Slowly, enough to give her time. She needed to know she was just as in control as he was. Part of Noah wanted her to see him as he looked at her. He wanted her to see the way she changed his face with skin. No was nervous but he wasn’t going to let it stop him from doing something beautiful. Even if he wanted to keep looking at her face he couldn’t. He had to lower his eyes as the skin began to appear the higher the fabric rose. Careful fingers were meticulous in the way they took to the action, but once the sweater was exposing her midsection he was stilled. He breathed out with more struggle than it was smooth, affected by the smallest bit of skin. Words had no need to pass over his lips, not now. It was about showing her, that’s what he’d agreed. Noah continued, lifting the sweater until it was coaxing her arms upward and even then he was continuing in a fluid motion. Maybe he was slow, but it was purposeful. It was slow enough to give him time to take every moment in. Every second of closeness was important. The woman before him was freed of the garment but he didn’t step away, keeping the distance close enough to feel her warmth. His fingers released the sweater and it fell to the floor, but it wasn’t a pause he could have in the moment. He couldn’t stop and admire what there was to behold. She needed to feel as though she wasn’t the only one, so his hands took to her fingers. Even if the only release was the absence of the top layer of clothing he would be satisfied. If it was only for a few minutes he would find the glory in it. No guided her fingers to his own top, stepping even closer so that his nose touched to hers. It was gentle, the way he pushed her fingertips beneath, but the pads of her fingers against his skin was enough to melt him into her the slightest bit more.

[not-museing-around]

long-gone-dream​:

To think properly was impossible, where it had always been so easy in his life. He’d never fumbled for words, never hesitated to speak what needed to be said. His hesitation was only out of caution in the means of communicating with Billie. He only needed to be sure that beating around the bush wasn’t too confrontational to a woman who may have little interest in his metaphors. Still, she spoke with clarity it seemed even as he threw himself at the opportunity to imagine her being held against him. Maybe the verbal agreement was all she had meant, there was nothing to read into, but wouldn’t it be a beautiful dream to feel her slip her arms around him again? This time for more than just a friendly hug, but to breathe in rhythm and find a different world within her embrace. He’d never been hungry for life outside of the gloomy existence he knew once he accepted his fate, but acceptance didn’t mean he had to suffer through a world without the beautiful daydreams cluttered in the furthest reaches of his skull. Remus smiled into the phone, something that came naturally at the sound of her voice. He never smiled for anyone. Not for photos, not for women he entertained on occasion, and certainly not for the sake of any joy he had in his life. The ray of sunshine that spoke to him like he was a regular man on the other end of the line made him smile, and she held that gift solely. “You may just have to.” Something similar to a promise, that’s what it sounded like. The smallest promise that he knew was only witty wording and foolish ideas. She couldn’t possibly mean it, they were strictly professional. Right? That had to be where all of it was going. Maybe Billie understood that she had him wrapped around her finger easily and played it to her strong suit. No, that wasn’t quite right either. She wasn’t just playing him into her world with niceties. Billie was more than some con artist.

Remus could hardly contain his rising smile, hearing her quite clearly on the other end. Whatever they were dancing around, the sword in question anyway, it was turning into a conversation with different meaning. If she intended to be the bearer, did that go deeper in meaning? Were they still on the same topic or was she playing into the turn of words? “The only one? I love the promise of exclusivity, it’s not exactly something to share with everyone.” It was necessary to take a moment to breathe after such a suggestion, forcing the phone away from his ear to take a deep inhale. Remus could hardly stand to be saying as much over the phone. It was better to imagine her there, sitting in the armchair across from him. Part of him wondered what she would be wearing, how she’d be sitting. Would she wear her hair up or down? For a moment he imagined her there, smiling at him like she did across the table before. Realization struck him and he lifted the phone back up to his ear. “I mean, I think that you’ll take great care.” The last thing he needed was to freeze up now. He was close to breaking a barrier in his self doubt. He was even closer to breaking a barrier through thin ice however, a line between casual and suggestive conversation. “I know it’s not everyday you’re offered a sword that’s older than the Sistine chapel, but I have confidence you’d know what to do with it.” He lifted a hand, carefully raking his fingers through the curly mess atop his head. If she pushed back now then he was doomed. Remus wasn’t sure whether he needed to back off or become clearer in his attraction, his need to know her more deeply even. Billie was more than carefully recited words, she was the kind of woman who deserved class and gentle hands. She deserved more than a man who was more lost in his second chance at life than he was in his first.

Maybe she was right, he hadn’t read any of her work, but he had done his background work decently enough. She was only a search away, and most of the reviews seemed to be in her favor. He wasn’t entirely proficient in how to operate the electronic devices of the world but he could type a name into a browsers search bar. She seemed to be worried about the quality she could provide, but his faith was unwavering. Billie offered something besides asking for his faith in her, but for his interest in time together. Wasn’t that more fortune than he could ask for? “Spending a lot of time with you? I’m not sure, that might be a deal breaker there.” Even he couldn’t hold back the soft sound of amusement that escaped him. A light chuckle and he was on his way to the kitchen, switching the phone to the other ear so he could easily open the cabinet where his glasses were placed. “I think spending time with you, for the purpose of talking your ear off, would be time well spent. Forgive me, but I think you’d be nice company.” If that offer of time wasn’t enough, Billie was more than happy to return the compliment. Something Remus found difficult to believe but also kinder than anything he’d heard in far too long. She liked to talk to him, so what was the reservation for? What did he have to worry about? He lowered a glass from the cabinet and opened the freezer, plucking ice from within and dropping it into the glass. “Part of you?” Did that mean part of her had a warning sounding off? Did he set off an alarm to her better judgement? His focus shifted from the first few words to the rest, intrigue crossing his brow. “For a drink? A non caffeinated drink at that? Are you suggesting we talk at a bar sometime instead of a cafe? They might not kick us out as early anyway.” They’d stayed far past their welcome at the cafe really, but he’d cursed the waitress for the disruption regardless. Cradling the phone between his shoulder and his ear, Remus wrapped his fingers around a bottle of whiskey atop the counter and poured himself a neat drink atop the ice. “You have a lovely voice, over the phone is just as nice.” That was a lie. It was an absurd lie. She had a lovely voice, but he preferred to be looking at her. It was far too much temptation being close however. Lingering hands and glances over her, that couldn’t be appropriate behavior she would admire.

-

This all felt like something out of a storybook. A man older than time, talking to a nerdy girl like Billie and making her cheeks as red as the Spiderman on her sheets. A man so far out of her league that she realistically knew there was no possible way he was feeling this pull of intimacy too. But she could almost hear the smile in his voice, a voice that sounded like a whisper against her ear. Beaming to herself, Billie thanked the universe for just one moment for the fact he couldn’t see just how pink her cheeks were or hear the rapid beating of her heart trying to pound its way out of her chest. It sounded more and more like a plan for the future and less like a joke. Tomorrow was going to be impossible to get through if he was going to be nearly naked before her for a number of hours. Then at least the dream would become a reality. It wouldn’t be her laying on her bed as she was, imagining quite immodestly what he would look like. Remus would be standing there for Miles to draw, dressed down to his undergarments. Would he wear boxers, or would he be in those half boxer briefs that would show off that forbidden location.  A visual that she was sure would trump anything her mind could drum up on it’s own. They weren’t just talking about a hug. If they were having the conversation it felt like they were having, they were talking about something far more primal than a simple hug. The hand that wasn’t holding her phone to her ear grasped gently at the fabric of her own shirt dangerously near it’s hem where it ended and her pants began, squeezing it to try and help keep her mind on more appropriate things. Like the fact it was a working relationship, not a romantic relationship. If this was how the phone call was going, working with him might very well be the hardest thing she’d done in her life. 

When they spoke before, Remus had said he’d never really allowed himself to fall in love. Perhaps that was why the comment of exclusivity lingered in her mind for so long after the words left his lips. In reality, it was only a second. In that one second, his words echoed through her mind seemingly a thousand times. Because if she was to wield his weapon, he would rather she wield it exclusively. An ever more curious mind wondered if he was sleeping with someone, or what his sex life was even like. With those dreamy umber eyes; her guess was that it was spectacular. Personally, Billie really hadn’t ever been able to share herself with more than one person at a time. Exclusivity was all she had experienced and given her teenage years and the trauma they contained, it was the only way she could be comfortably intimate with anyone. Maybe that was why she felt like she could sing. Reading into so much with Remus was undoubtedly a bad idea. If all of this ended up just being her imagination, the blonde writer was going to have a hard time coming to terms with it. Once he’d finished staining her cheeks with rose petals, Billie’s heart and lower brain spoke before her brain had time to do so. “Of course, I’d never dream of sharing your sword. Something so impressive shouldn’t be passed around to just anyone.” I just hope I worthy of such an honor,” Turning her phone away from her face, she mouthed ‘Oh my god’ at the impressive level of embarrassment she felt. Saying it without saying it was a dangerous game. In this moment, Ms. Rutherford was losing. Now that she’d started, there was no point stopping. “Again, I think you put too much faith in me. I’ll make sure it’s properly polished if nothing else.” Waiting for his response was almost painful. What would he say to something so nearing the point of no return. Had she past it? Would she be able to come back from this? At this point she didn’t think so. For some reason though it didn’t seem like Billie could stop herself from stuffing her foot farther into her mouth. 

Bright hazel eyes widened. It was absolutely unmistakable this time; Remus expressed a form of laughter. A sound like that following something that might have shattered her happiness in a single sentence meant flirtation! Her muse was being cheeky and had she not been on the phone with him, she might have audibly squealed. A giggle of her own lingered in the air. “If that’s all you have to apologize for, consider yourself forgiven.” Turning her head on her pillow, she looked into the empty space next to her, the space she longed for him to be. “The other part of me worries that telling you you can just call will give you all the excuse you need to avoid having to see me in person. I don’t want to be entirely selfish about it and put you so far out as to say you can’t call me so that I can take up all of your time,” Billie explained, wondering what the question in his tone was from. Was it curiosity or was it concern? “But.. Yeah. I mean, I was just thinking our chances of getting booted out are a little less likely in a bar. If we end up in a bar past close than that’s just impressive.” The blonde let her eyes fall closed. Not because she was tired, but because she wanted to see him on the inside of her eyelids where his image remained, burned into her mind. “I don’t know about lovely. But if you like it, you can hear it whenever you’d like.” It felt like a dream state that she was living in right now anyway, maybe that was why it got harder to open her eyelids. Determined to say awake though, she focused on his voice. Or at least, she tried. 

[long-gone-dream]

There was a method to the way he had spoken, trying so hard to behave when all he wanted to do was imagine her closer than over the phone, but that was all thrown out the window as the words passed through. She didn’t scoff at him over exclusivity. She didn’t laugh and tell him that he was anything short of expectations. Billie didn’t laugh at all. She offered him something more to simmer on. Really, he was nearing a boiling point. She was turning the temperature up in his cabin, enough so that he couldn’t help but think of losing a few layers. Remus clutched tighter to the phone at the next utterance, a vision he certainly didn’t need to develop in his mind coming forth. She’d given him far too much to think about to hide away from the flirting. What could he say? That he looked forward to a proper polish? That he couldn’t wait to see her technique? Gods, he was frantically chasing words in his mind. “See, that’s why I know I have my faith put into you for good reason. You’re offering a polish…” If he were crude, if he could manage to make himself say the words, he’d have taken the offer without a single thought. Billie, the sunshine that she was, servicing the sword he didn’t think she would have interest in. Remus paused in conversation to add emphasis to the thought but it lingered for far too long. It was increasingly difficult to remain professional, but he had to will it for the sake of being able to look into her eyes when they were in one another’s company next. Catching another proper breath, he pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration with himself for the words falling off the tip of his tongue. “You know, it’s probably due for a polish anyway, if I’m honest.” Why did he feel like blushing? Was it truly because he felt brazen or because he was speaking to Billie in such a way particularly? It had to be the latter, he hardly remembered a time when he felt so much heat in his face.

Forgiven for his crime, or lack thereof, Remus had nothing left to do but crave her company. More than words and the beautiful voice speaking them. His craving was for proximity, for the other to be within reach so he might have the option to look at her. Looking at her meant seeing more of what Billie was, cementing her in his memory as a real woman and not of fantasy. How had it been so many years, so long trapped in the world and suddenly he was thrown into the world of depravity. She released words of concern however, marking a furrow on his brow. Excuses? He’d cancel plans to see her. He’d wait another hundred years. Hell, a few hundred as long as it was promised she’d show up. Remus shook his head as he lifted the glass, though he realized she couldn’t see it. “Why would I make any excuse not to see you? This over the phone ordeal, it’s entirely new to me.” That was an easy way out. The kind of deflection from what he wanted to say that he almost felt shameful of. Why not just tell her that he thought she was the kind of beautiful that made his chest hesitate to draw in breath? Why not tell her that she was the kind of company he would gladly spend a weeks worth of hours getting to know? His lips parted to take a drink from the glass in his hand, but as the liquor moved past his tongue she was offering him more than just an interviews worth of her. A challenge really, until the bar could close. Long hours on the phone even. An offer of her voice whenever he wanted it was more than she could understand to Remus. It was a gift, a great deal of kindness she couldn’t understand. “Well, Miss Rutherford, I don’t sleep much. I’m sure we could manage the impossible of staying in a bar past closing and I’m certain if you’re offering, which you are, I could talk to you for days.” Deep breaths. It was all about deep breaths and keeping regret from settling in. How could he regret saying such? Leaving the kitchen, glass in hand, he stepped nearly silently through his empty home toward the window again. “It is lovely, by the way.”

Another drink and he was staring down into the amber fluid, raising a brow. “I hope I’m really not keeping you from anything important, I know you are a very busy woman. I mean, it seems that when I get to talking with you I can’t help but take all of your time.” She may have even had things to do when they’re time was up at the coffee shop, and yet he kept her tied up in conversation. His lips curled into another smile at the thought though, even if he felt slight guilt. “Do you think, if I’m lucky, I might be able to convince you into a drink after the sketches with your brother and filling up on your splendid baking? Obviously, not until later in the evening, I don’t want to influence any sort of day drinking…” Another small rumble of laughter, under his breath mostly, before he continued. “But once I can regain my confidence after stripping down and posing all afternoon.” What was the point of his offer? Was he trying to go for a drink with Billie for the company or as a reason to get her alone? It sounded unreal, having her alone again. Especially in a bar, where a table wouldn’t be separating them if he could manage it. Would she be comfortable to sit beside him at the bar, perhaps even a brush of the knee and a close enough encounter that he could whisper his thoughts of her into the minimal space? Remus lifted his eyes to gaze out the window, though the empty world wasn’t what he wished to see. Where was she? Home? Could she be standing in front of a window wishing that he could be there? Was that too selfish to hope for? Would it be out of line for him to hope she was thinking about him, even just in the small ways?

[the-toy-boy]

[jonesyaddiction]

B e n j a m i n

[not-museing-around]

long-gone-dream​:

Of all the things he wanted to say, speaking his mind was the most difficult. If she could hear his thoughts she would be appalled. He wanted to ask her if she wanted to have dinner, to sit together over a meal and have that normal interaction he’d had with her over coffee. In the darkest parts of his mind, where he contained thought of Billie in different circumstance, he could clearly see sitting with her for dinner and more. That wasn’t proper. That wasn’t the way to handle the attraction. He would be better off not thinking about her without clothes, it would be better for him because then he wouldn’t be so driven to ask her to take them off. How was he supposed to undress in front of her and not feel as though he needed to be close, to feel all of his loneliness eased by skin and warmth. Remus listened for a response, worried that maybe she was going to reject his attempt to flirt, but the rejection didn’t come. Instead, Billie gave him more hope. She offered him an opening, or what he thought might be an opening. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe he was reading into it more than he should have. He couldn’t be sure. Still, such a comment spurred his lips into a grin. “Another time, under different circumstance.” Friendly people could say as much, couldn’t they? If she became unhappy by his wording then he could easily express that it was his efforts to be lighthearted, right? Remus felt a near panic, unsure if he had created a problem between them. If he wedged unnecessary attraction into the conversation and she didn’t feel the same way then he was a foolish man. Gods, he was sweating. He was actually sweating, which was hardly a normal event for Remus. His eyes closed as she started to speak again, but trying to imagine her lips moving to the words was more difficult. It wasn’t just the words, but the meaning he hoped laid beneath them. She would consider herself lucky. Was she flirting? Was she talking about the actual sword in question? He wanted to offer a stabbing, but he wasn’t sure if he could even do so if he had the courage to say it. Billie wasn’t just a woman to meet up with, she was more than that. He knew with certainty that he couldn’t just participate in something intimate with Billie once. It would be a repeated action, a serial stabbing. Remus shook his head, annoyed with his inability to think of her as she was. Even in the more innocent thoughts he had it was centered on how he wanted to be lucky. He wanted to be the lucky person who could know Billie in ways that maybe another hadn’t been able to. She spoke about love, about wanting it so terribly, so he had to assume that she hadn’t felt it before with anyone. Perhaps he wanted to find out if love could be worth the pain, but with Billie. Something drew him to her, a feeling he couldn’t shake and one he wasn’t sure he had the will to push away. “I could leave it with you, for safe keeping I mean. I trust you’d take good care of it.” That was more personal, an intentional absence of Miles in the offer. Was he intentionally planting the seed of thought? Maybe. Maybe he wanted her to think about the sword itself, but he wanted there to be a lingering thought involved of suggestion. Remus was playing a dangerous game with words but he couldn’t help himself.

Would traveling be more about the task at hand or would he find himself alone with her? Could he be alone with her and not think of how lovely it would be to be alone with her more often? All he wanted was to have her and that was hardly the thoughts of a man with work on his mind. Remus thought briefly of luring her into a lone meeting under the pretenses that he wanted to talk, to tell her about his history, but meeting under false pretenses was dangerous. If she didn’t want to spend time with him then it was a sure fire way to ruin everything. At least, while traveling, they’d be closer. He could look forward to that, as long as they could get what they needed to put out the first edition in time. Would he be able to focus on the con at all with her near? He couldn’t see himself tearing his eyes away from her, knowing what it was to wish for her presence. All he wanted was to see her face, to make her smile and risk the touch of his fingers to her skin again. It was a miracle that he’d been able to part from her after the meeting, every ounce of power was put on restraining himself. The hug she gifted him with was a connection he had thought of giving more to. How could he not think about it with regret? She had been pressed against him, touching him, and he regretted not holding her there for longer. He regretted not asking her to stay, to hold him in the parking lot as if they could have been long lost lovers reunited. It almost felt like they were something, some kind of will of the gods. Why else would he feel so full in the green eyes that had sat across from him? Why else would he want her with such vigor? Remus nearly missed the words in the phone while so captivated by the thought of her, but how could he miss such beautiful words? A few days ago and he had made an impact, a change to his forgotten life. Such soft, sweet words gave him more hope. He was in her thoughts, but to what extent? Just his life? Was he more of a presence than that? Could he be in her thoughts the way she was within his own? Dancing around in her head to a waltz that always ended in embracing one another? Remus couldn’t speak, not under the weight of such thought. Did she want him to know that she thought of him because she wanted to know if he thought of her? He wondered whether speaking on the matter would make a change, if he told her that she was the only thought in his head she would invite him into her life for less professional reasons. The beautiful voice continued in his ear, giving him a passion for life he hadn’t known. Fuck Romulus, his betrayal couldn’t have been all there was to his life. Billie was passionate about changing the course of history, of changing the meaning behind his troubling eternity. Remus felt weaker in his chest than he could describe, as if there was emotion pumping into the muscle he’d thought rather useless beneath his ribs. The last of the words to pass from the other end changed him. She was happy to be doing the work, not because it would bring her any fame but it would bring justice to the world. She was happy to do it with him, not for him. That was important. It was an important detail that he hung onto for a moment, tossing around in his mind before he spoke. “I’ve never been as open with anyone about everything, Billie. You’ll get every detail you want from me, all you have to do is ask. It’s an honor to be the focus of your company, but even more so it’s an honor to be involved in all of this with such a talented writer. If anyone is capable of telling everything for the way it happened, it’s you.” There was a different story to be created though. Something drastically different from the pain and anger of his past. The new story at hand was one of importance just the same. Remus was experiencing life. He was living and feeling new things and wanting. Of all things, he wanted again. Her, above all else.

Relief struck his soul so quickly with such unexpectedly soothing words. She liked talking to him. Sure, there was a little before she had said that specifically, but it hardly mattered compared to those few words. She liked talking to him. At least he could take that into consideration when he thought of her. Billie was happy to talk to him, to know him, and maybe she would be happy to be known. Remus stood from the edge of the couch, circling around to take a proper seat on its cushion. “I like talking to you Billie…” How was it forward? Did she mean it in a different way? Was it less about talking to him formally and just hearing his voice, like she had said when she answered the phone? Gods, he wanted it to be so. He wanted her to mean it, not apologize for it. “I don’t think it’s forward, it’s just honest.” If she could be honest then so could he, right? Could he spew forth the importance he’d placed upon her? “I enjoy your company, over coffee or over the phone. It’s nice to feel less alone.” That was hardly personal enough. It gave off the impression that he was using her the way he did with unsuspecting dinner guests in a restaurant. Remus cleared his throat gently, forcing forth the proper words. “I mean, I enjoy your company specifically if that wasn’t entirely clear. You’re a brilliant woman and it’s a pleasure to hear from you.” Fuck. He was hardly successful in his attempts to say the right thing. So much for smooth, he couldn’t seem to be any sort of forward. “I haven’t made much use of phone calls before, but I’m happy to change that to experience your company more often.”

-

Had any one person ever smiled into the phone this violently? After all of this her cheeks were going to ache, Billie knew that already and they hadn’t even started to try and say goodbye. As far as she knew, given their last conversation, this could go on for hours. It wasn’t fair that his voice was smooth like silk. How someone could one person be the accumulation of every fantasy she never knew she had, Billie didn’t know. But his eyes were deep and rich, just as his voice was in person. Over the phone it was like he was whispering in her ear, and sweet things at that. But then again, he could have been speaking completely professionally and her swooning would have made it sound like anything at all was sweet. If only Remus could see just how pink her cheeks were, she was sure he’d have a laugh. A hand raised to cover her smile when she started to giggle softly, an uncontrollable bubbling as quiet as it was. Billie didn’t want it to seem as if she was laughing at him. “I’ll have to hold you to that.” That was probably a bit much but at this point the writer had just accepted that whatever she was going to think was just going to be what came out of her mouth. As much as she did try to keep it together, clearly she was no good at it. There was no harm in flirting, right? The offer to leave his sword with her threw Billie for a loop. Her left hand that had covered her lips in her giggle now combed back through her blonde hair while she tried to figure out how to respond to such a thing. A thousand things battled in her mind that she could say and instead of staying out where Miles could possibly hear her, Billie rather abruptly turned and walked from the kitchen. “I will, I’ll keep it very safe. I promise I’ll be the only one to handle it.” She too left out Miles this time, just to see what he might have to say about her handling his sword. He was probably just talking about a literal weapon, but there wasn’t an absence of hope in the way he’d delivered his words. It was staring to sound like he knew what she’d been talking about all along. Did Remus want her to wield his blade in the metaphorical sense as badly as she wanted to be stricken down with it? Billie plopped down on her bed, falling back onto the surface to tilt her head back to hang upside down in the privacy of her room instead of the living room while she had been at the start of this call. Was it bad she felt aroused just thinking about it? 

That compliment returned was more than enough to make her bite her lip and bring her hand up to hide her smile even if there wasn’t anyone there to see it. “You know.. You say that, but I don’t think you’ve ever actually read any of my writing. Unless you’re secretly into comicbooks? Then maybe.” Billie combed her hair so it it dangled freely.  She highly doubted Remus was the kind to read a comicbook, especially one from the last decade. But maybe when he was over for one of their sessions, Billie would show him some other comics so he could see how she worked so he would know for himself what he was getting into. He’d see it with his own comic she supposed. The first book she was actually rather proud of. It included a few moments from their coffee break, like when he poked his tooth to show he wasn’t a vampire and so much more. Little things she couldn’t wait for Miles to be able to capture. “But I appreciate your faith in me. I really hope I can make something you’re proud of. I want to know every detail, so you might have to deal with spending a lot of time with me even before that travelling for conventions. Are you sure you’ll be okay with that?” Billie prayed he would say yes to whatever gods were real, that they may grant her this one little nicety after all of what had happened to her in her life. If Remus could open up to her, maybe she would actually be able to talk about her own history she kept to herself so often. Looking at her wrist covered by her watch, she wondered if he would listen, if he would have anything at all to say about it, or if he would just tell her it’s not that big of a deal. After such torture over a couple thousand years worth of lifetimes, how could he not judge her for having such hang ups over something from her childhood. When he continued to speak, when he said such charming things about enjoying her company and speaking to her, Billie had to hit mute so that he wouldn’t hear how she squealed and held her phone over her heart and against her chest for just once moment while she tried to regain her composure before she unmuted and brought the phone to her cheek once again. “I.. I like talking to you too, Remus.” Billie smiled through her words and wished so badly that he was right in front of her so that she could tell him this face to face, so she could smell his cologne and hold the attention of those brilliant dark eyes. “Part of me wants to just tell you that you can call me whenever, and you definitely can. But I’d much rather just meet up with you over coffee or ah.. or a drink or some kind, it doesn’t have to be coffee. But when you can’t meet up, I um.. I’d like to talk to you even just like this.” 

[long-gone-dream]

To think properly was impossible, where it had always been so easy in his life. He’d never fumbled for words, never hesitated to speak what needed to be said. His hesitation was only out of caution in the means of communicating with Billie. He only needed to be sure that beating around the bush wasn’t too confrontational to a woman who may have little interest in his metaphors. Still, she spoke with clarity it seemed even as he threw himself at the opportunity to imagine her being held against him. Maybe the verbal agreement was all she had meant, there was nothing to read into, but wouldn’t it be a beautiful dream to feel her slip her arms around him again? This time for more than just a friendly hug, but to breathe in rhythm and find a different world within her embrace. He’d never been hungry for life outside of the gloomy existence he knew once he accepted his fate, but acceptance didn’t mean he had to suffer through a world without the beautiful daydreams cluttered in the furthest reaches of his skull. Remus smiled into the phone, something that came naturally at the sound of her voice. He never smiled for anyone. Not for photos, not for women he entertained on occasion, and certainly not for the sake of any joy he had in his life. The ray of sunshine that spoke to him like he was a regular man on the other end of the line made him smile, and she held that gift solely. “You may just have to.” Something similar to a promise, that’s what it sounded like. The smallest promise that he knew was only witty wording and foolish ideas. She couldn’t possibly mean it, they were strictly professional. Right? That had to be where all of it was going. Maybe Billie understood that she had him wrapped around her finger easily and played it to her strong suit. No, that wasn’t quite right either. She wasn’t just playing him into her world with niceties. Billie was more than some con artist.

Remus could hardly contain his rising smile, hearing her quite clearly on the other end. Whatever they were dancing around, the sword in question anyway, it was turning into a conversation with different meaning. If she intended to be the bearer, did that go deeper in meaning? Were they still on the same topic or was she playing into the turn of words? “The only one? I love the promise of exclusivity, it’s not exactly something to share with everyone.” It was necessary to take a moment to breathe after such a suggestion, forcing the phone away from his ear to take a deep inhale. Remus could hardly stand to be saying as much over the phone. It was better to imagine her there, sitting in the armchair across from him. Part of him wondered what she would be wearing, how she’d be sitting. Would she wear her hair up or down? For a moment he imagined her there, smiling at him like she did across the table before. Realization struck him and he lifted the phone back up to his ear. “I mean, I think that you’ll take great care.” The last thing he needed was to freeze up now. He was close to breaking a barrier in his self doubt. He was even closer to breaking a barrier through thin ice however, a line between casual and suggestive conversation. “I know it’s not everyday you’re offered a sword that’s older than the Sistine chapel, but I have confidence you’d know what to do with it.” He lifted a hand, carefully raking his fingers through the curly mess atop his head. If she pushed back now then he was doomed. Remus wasn’t sure whether he needed to back off or become clearer in his attraction, his need to know her more deeply even. Billie was more than carefully recited words, she was the kind of woman who deserved class and gentle hands. She deserved more than a man who was more lost in his second chance at life than he was in his first.

Maybe she was right, he hadn’t read any of her work, but he had done his background work decently enough. She was only a search away, and most of the reviews seemed to be in her favor. He wasn’t entirely proficient in how to operate the electronic devices of the world but he could type a name into a browsers search bar. She seemed to be worried about the quality she could provide, but his faith was unwavering. Billie offered something besides asking for his faith in her, but for his interest in time together. Wasn’t that more fortune than he could ask for? “Spending a lot of time with you? I’m not sure, that might be a deal breaker there.” Even he couldn’t hold back the soft sound of amusement that escaped him. A light chuckle and he was on his way to the kitchen, switching the phone to the other ear so he could easily open the cabinet where his glasses were placed. “I think spending time with you, for the purpose of talking your ear off, would be time well spent. Forgive me, but I think you’d be nice company.” If that offer of time wasn’t enough, Billie was more than happy to return the compliment. Something Remus found difficult to believe but also kinder than anything he’d heard in far too long. She liked to talk to him, so what was the reservation for? What did he have to worry about? He lowered a glass from the cabinet and opened the freezer, plucking ice from within and dropping it into the glass. “Part of you?” Did that mean part of her had a warning sounding off? Did he set off an alarm to her better judgement? His focus shifted from the first few words to the rest, intrigue crossing his brow. “For a drink? A non caffeinated drink at that? Are you suggesting we talk at a bar sometime instead of a cafe? They might not kick us out as early anyway.” They’d stayed far past their welcome at the cafe really, but he’d cursed the waitress for the disruption regardless. Cradling the phone between his shoulder and his ear, Remus wrapped his fingers around a bottle of whiskey atop the counter and poured himself a neat drink atop the ice. “You have a lovely voice, over the phone is just as nice.” That was a lie. It was an absurd lie. She had a lovely voice, but he preferred to be looking at her. It was far too much temptation being close however. Lingering hands and glances over her, that couldn’t be appropriate behavior she would admire.

[not-museing-around]

long-gone-dream​:

Even if she said it every day, multiple times through the day, it never lost its meaning to hear that she loved him. They may have been well into their relationship, more than he was used to with previous relationships, but he felt the same sort of growing love with every day that passed. He could feel it grow every time he looked at her, with every passing moment that she was giving him and every moment she promised of their future. Weston wasn’t afraid of marriage, not with Kaylee. He wasn’t afraid of asking her and not knowing what answer she would give. It was more of a fear of perfection. Kaylee deserved perfection, down to the very second he asked her. Everything would fall into place in the right time, when it was all planned and figured out. There was more of a central focus on that plan now, but it had been on his mind since her grandfather had asked him if his intentions. It had been on his mind, playing over and over. He wanted to marry her. He wanted a life with her. “I love you.” The words were a quiet whisper between them as she twisted the cap from the bottle, though he couldn’t seem to take his eyes away from her face. She may have been in a fight, she may have sustained injuries that darkened her skin and forced her lip to split, but he was fascinated with the woman in front of him just as much as he had been the night before and the night they met. Weston watched as she swallowed down the medication, happy to see her taking care of herself for him, and took the cap from her to place back on the bottle. After a farewell to the other man he took the bottle from the still capable hand of Kaylee and nodded his head. “I’ll never say no to some proper wine and a walk with you.” Shoving the bottle of pills into the pocket of his shorts, Wes started toward the door alongside Kaylee, already starting to open the bottle of wine. He hadn’t gotten the cork removed before she was speaking, a confused look crossing his face at the vague words. “Crazy? Crazy like what? You’re not thinking about downing some wine and getting frisky are you? Because Kay, that’s…” He didn’t want to say that she couldn’t. That was both saddening to his own thoughts and he knew it wouldn’t be good for her to hear. “There’s not exactly anywhere around here anyway.” He managed to twist the cork free from the bottle with the anchors mounted around the neck. Without a thought he offered it to her first. “Just because you’re all roughed up for the sake of the two of us doesn’t mean you can’t do things. It just takes a little help.”

Someday they were going to tie the knot, they’d have a big fancy wedding, bring their families together, but it didn’t have to be today. It didn’t have to be soon even, necessarily. Kaylee wanted children eventually though. Both to have herself and to adopt but there wasn’t any real rush. There were years ahead to plan for children. They’d have time to parent when she couldn’t fight anymore. What she would do after that, she didn’t really know. Maybe return to Spain after all to run the family business, or maybe she would be a stay at home mom. That wasn’t her goal though. Kaylee had a hard time thinking about leaving Weston to work himself to the bone himself. That was all something to think about in the future though. They had so much time still before that. Time to just be with one another and enjoy that freedom. As he worked the wine open, she giggled at his assumption. “Maybe, but I know it wouldn’t be for the best for now,” That wasn’t at all what she’d been thinking about but it was better that he not know she almost stole his moment. “You’re right, we’d definitely get caught, and I’m in no shape to do something like that, it’s best that I didn’t suggest anything,” Taking the bottle with a thank you, she took a drink and offered it back to him with a smile. Wine in Spain is cheaper by the bottle than water, which was probably why the shop keeper didn’t mind handing it over. Besides, Kaylee would never turn down a good glass of wine anyway. “You’re very sweet for making it seem like I’m not completely inept. It’s nice when someone does something for you when you’re hurt, but It’s very sweet that you just help me do it instead.” Once he’d taken the bottle, she rested her hand on the inside of his forearm so she could stand a little closer to him as they walked. “I just get reminded of how wonderful you are every day. Every single day.” Kaylee leaned up to press a kiss to his shoulder softly since he didn’t seem to want to kiss her lips. “When we get back, where did you want to go? I wouldn’t mind moving into your place if you wanted me to, I’m not attached to mine necessarily. Either way works for me.”

[long-gone-dream]

Of all the things they could been stripped of if she had lost, the right to be happy together in whatever way they wanted was the most difficult. It wasn’t any concern now that they were away from the conflict altogether, but he couldn’t help himself where the thoughts of their narrow victory was concerned. Kaylee secured their life, but what did he do to help? What could he do to help the woman who put herself in harms way? Helping her open bottles and taking care of her was a given, but what about providing his own help to the life they wanted? How could he further it? Weston wanted to talk about marriage, to throw caution to the wind and marry her at the first possible moment, but Kaylee deserved more than a quickly put together reception. She deserved something beautiful, something thought out, and something to set the tone for the life they would have together. Taking the offered wine bottle back into his hands, he shook his head toward the conversation they were actually having rather than the one he was participating in within his head. “You might have kicked his ass but he did a number on you. I don’t want to take away the fact that you’re still absolutely capable, you’re just in need of a hand. We’ll be attached at the hip for the rest of the trip anyway, so you can have mine. For holding bottles to help you open them or for whatever you need honestly.” The woman at his side slipped a hand around his forearm and Wes finally felt the stress of the entire situation melt away from him. She’d heal. They’d leave and go home, return to their normal lives, and she’d be better in weeks. A few weeks, but what she had done would carry over into the coming years. Forever really, a change to how things had to be done. The bruises were worth it. Who’s place would they take though? Which home would be the stepping stone into something more permanent? West shrugged his shoulders, uncertain of which would be more convenient for the both of them. “We could move into either, or someplace new. A neutral ground sort of operation. A spacious place to fit the both of us, comfortably. My things, your things, our things. What do you think?”

[tay-swifts]

˗ˏˋ HENRY CAVILL BBC Radio 1 (November 08, 2022)

[marimelwrites]

long-gone-dream​:

There had never been something as intimate as the moment he was sharing with Maddie. The slowness, the gentle way they touched and kissed one another, it was all so extremely intimate and Noah didn’t know how to accept the fact that it was all happening to him. Maddie was this woman with so much life, so much will to do so many things he’d never dreamed of, and she wanted him. She wanted to feel his skin and taste his lips, to know the sounds he’d make when she peppered his neck with affection. What had he ever done to make her feel like he was special? What had he ever done to be the one who pulled noise from her lungs? Noah didn’t understand it but didn’t want to push it away by thinking of all the questions too seriously. All he wanted was to be with Maddie, to know what the world could be like if he spent the hours with her. The fingers against his ribs deepened their touch, but it wasn’t something painful in the slightest. It was more comfort, more reason to believe that she liked the way it felt to touch him. Though he had answered her, given her the voice from within his head unaltered, he didn’t know if she agreed. He didn’t know if she felt as though she wanted more of him. The brunette did make him wait long for her answer. It was quiet, a hushed sound between the two of them that really didn’t need to be anything more. They were of the same mind, thankfully. Even just the brush of her against him as she nodded had been lovely, more than enough of a reason to feel as though he was slowly becoming pulled into her. Eventually they’d be one person, one soul that both halves had finally come together to form.

As brave of a move as it had been, kissing her just beneath the hem of her sweater was rewarded substantially. Maddie let out a sound that hit him deeper than before. She dropped her head back from him and it only opened up more skin to his view, but it was the urging hand that found its way into the hair at the back of his head that he was just as surprised to feel. She wanted it. She wanted more, she’d said as much, but the words were only given meaning with such a response. He couldn’t even compose himself after such a reaction, his body frozen for a moment. If that was how she reacted to something as small as a kiss along her collarbone then he couldn’t help but to wonder where his lips could land to find more drastic sounds, even more encouraging fingers in his hair. It felt nearly wrong, thinking of her like that, but it was hardly something he could control now. She was straddling his lap and falling to pieces for him, of course his imagination wandered away from him. Noah wanted her, more than he wanted anything. To know every response, to know every inch of skin in his pursuit of making her shake and moan under his lips.

His sweater was hiked up the more she moved her fingers, though he was happy to feel the cold air on his skin. He hadn’t stopped feeling incredibly warm since the moment she sat beside him, and now the cold brought a sense of clarity from his fogged mind. Maddie pressed close, her lips just beside his ear, and Noah shuddered at even the first word. She had to have felt it, her hand pressed against his shoulder, but there was no need to hide such a thing. Not when she was whispering such beautiful words. She wanted him the same as he wanted her. It could never be said enough. She wanted him and he had to wonder whether she wanted him with the same curiosity. No pushed the thought away, his breath catching in his throat at the softest kiss to his skin. If only he could get himself to breathe the way she did then, warm against his skin and with such a weight that he knew something important would cross over her lips. He knew and yet he wasn’t prepared, but it spurred his hands to tighten again in the back of her sweater. She needed him. Maddie wanted to be his, to be the one that he spent every waking moment think of and every moment asleep dreaming of. She wanted to be the woman he called his own and he couldn’t express how that made him feel. He couldn’t possibly express that he’d give her the moon, if only he could reach into the sky and take it. He couldn’t express that she made him feel like the cracks in him were filled with mortar made of soft words and gentle hands. No breathed out finally, relief washing over his stuff frame. The lips he adored moved over his face and finally connected with his, a touch he craved after such heavy words. It wasn’t as soft or as slow as it had been though. It was filled with the meaning behind such an admission, a kiss that he wanted so desperately to last for hours. A kiss that he could have died knowing the taste of.

Maddie parted from him to speak again, but as the words came from her delicate lips his hands were working their way into her sweater, climbing over warm skin and pressing against her back to push her closer to his chest. The way their minds were linked, thoughts being so similar, he would have sworn that they were made for one another if he didn’t already feel it. Of course he felt it, there was something of a beautiful pull he couldn’t and didn’t dare to fight against with Maddie. He smiled gently against her lips, splaying his fingers over her skin until his thumbs were hooked around her waist. “I know. I know Maddie.” Belonging to her had taken root the moment she slipped past him through the door. That mysterious stranger, with her bright smile and pink cheeks. No nuzzled his nose against hers, trying to decipher the words all bubbling so quickly to the surface until he could finally string together a coherent sentence. “I feel this incredible sense of belonging. As if, for me, I’ve always been meant to find you. I’m yours.” Giving himself away that easily, it could only be done with Maddie. He’d never felt it before, not even a tinge of what he felt to be in her grasp. “I’ve never wanted anything more in my life. I’ve never felt the way I feel with you before in my life.” Every word was a brush of his lips against her’s, but he needed to say it more than he needed to kiss her. There would be dozens of moments to kiss her, expressing himself could finally take the front seat.

Under any other circumstances, with any other person, Madeleine would have been terrified to say something. She likely wouldn’t have said anything. In fact, if it had been any other person in the world, Madeleine would have never allowed herself to get so close, and she likely would have run away at this point. Noah was different. He had been different from the very beginning. It was as if her entire world had shifted, as if he were the center and everything revolved around him. All that she was, all that she did, seemingly made more sense when he entered her life. It wasn’t that she wanted to give up her identity, or what she loved to do. Instead, having Noah introduced to her life made all that she had gone through worth every bit of struggle. All the pain, all the sacrifice, all the horror, every struggle, every achievement, every success, it was worth every second once he appeared. She had never known anyone who could reach her soul like Noah did. He was a part of her, he was that missing bit of her soul that she hadn’t realized had been missing until it was connected to hers. She should have been terrified, and she was in a way, but not in the sense that she thought he would ever hurt her. She was terrified in an excited way, that Noah would continue to be the one person whom she could give every part of herself to and know that he would cherish it all. The fact that Madeleine was able to speak so clearly with regards to how she felt about him was a miracle, one that Noah likely wouldn’t have known from her history, but likely understood in that way they were able to speak to one another through touch and through gazes.

As if the words Madeleine had not managed to include were broadcast for Noah to see, she heard each one spoken back to her as if her thoughts were being read word for word. “I’ve never felt this way with anyone before in my life either,” she whispered in response. She took a shuddered breath, her lips still brushing his as she continued to speak, “Just like you said… and I truly believe it, I was always meant to find you, Noah. I’m yours, and you are mine. We were put on this earth for one another. I didn’t think it could possibly be real… but this is. It’s so real, isn’t it?” She kissed him gently as her fingers danced over his bare skin. When she spoke again, it was still against his lips, as if she were afraid to break the spell by moving away from him even in the slightest. “I want to show you that I am yours. I want to give you everything because it’s yours. All of me. Everything. I’ve always been yours. I’ll always be yours.” Those words were likely false promises when it came to other people, but for Madeleine, they were the absolute truth. She knew it deep down in the way Noah could reach every last bit of her with the smallest touch, with just one look with those beautiful eyes of his, with the softest uttering of words, it was felt through her entire body.

There was an underlying shyness in her, try as she might, the part of her that had been rejected by people before who she didn’t care for even a fraction of the amount she cared for the man against her now feared being rejected by this man who turned out to be… everything. Noah could shatter her with the smallest action, with one word. A part of her trusted him implicitly, the part of her that had been repeatedly told over and over by her mother that she was worthless and that nobody would love her tried to play traitor to that trust. It didn’t win. The strength and magnitude of what she felt for Noah overrode any of the feelings that had always been so powerful before. If everything else she felt hadn’t been enough of a sign, the fact that the negative thoughts she had been so accustomed to faded away under his touch and gaze, would have been more than enough to solidify her opinion. 

Holding herself to him, her breath falling against his lips, Madeleine’s nervous fingers traveled over Noah’s skin. Her fingertips brushing along Noah’s collarbone under his clothes before traveling down his body to rest against his ribs again. It felt like her skin was feverish just from his touch. Her breath shaky, and quick and she whispered one final plea, a plea she never thought she would ask of anyone. “Please, Noah, make me yours… completely.”

[long-gone-dream]

Strangely, what was once a struggle was impossibly smooth sailing with Maddie. Noah didn’t hold onto words he would have with anyone else. Choking on his words was all he ever seemed to do. The only time he was in his element was when his eyes were closed and he was slipping his fingers along black and white keys. Now it seemed he found a new home, a new sort of element. His fingers slipped over skin, his eyes didn’t have to be closed. The green hues didn’t shy away from looking at the beauty so close to him. No was important for more than what he could do, but for the person he could be when he looked at her. God, looking at her made more sense than playing music with his eyes closed. She was pledging herself against his lips, giving herself over to him and only seeking his devotion in return, but she couldn’t possibly understand that he was more than devoted. He was panicked at even the thought of what might happen when they managed to pry themselves away from one another. Even the thought nearly forced his fingers to tighten, to keep her near, but he didn’t want to frighten her with such desperation. She was his, but that didn’t mean he could claim ownership in such a dire manner. Noah praised her fingers on his skin with an inhale, bringing his chest to rise against her touch. Kissing, stealing his breath away, he was stuck in the high even as she parted to speak again but the words hit him deeper than any breath he could take in would ever. Show him, she wanted to show him and he wanted to understand what that could mean. If everything about Maddie was his, then it was only fair that he give her everything. Wasn’t he giving her everything? Wouldn’t he give her everything she wanted? His lips quivered before he spoke the words, nervousness hard to push away in the face of such a heavy pledge. “I want to give you everything, Maddie.”

It was palpable, the way she seemed to tremble around him suddenly. Through their brave adventure of seeking skin and beautiful affection there had be very little real fear, but he could feel it coming off of her. What could she be afraid of? Noah hummed gently as her fingers moved, his lips rising into the faintest of smiles. Hopefully, if she could see how happily receptive he was to her exploring then she wouldn’t have any fear. The smile dropped as she continued to speak. The sort of words coming from her lips were the sort he didn’t think he could survive. How was he supposed to survive such a request? How could he keep his hands from shaking against her skin? What was he supposed to do to to keep himself calm when all he could think about was what she could mean with such a request? Noah attempted to swallow down his shaken breath, but even speaking was beyond his ability. Then again, on second thought, he didn’t need to speak to be heard by Maddie. They communicated easier without words. His fingers rose from within her sweater, slipping from the fabric to slide along the skin of her cheeks. It was a tender motion, slow and yet full of intention. As soon as his fingertips reached the nape of her neck he urged her in, closing the smallest gap that was left between them. His lips weren’t urgent, they didn’t seek to claim anything from her except that softness only they seemed to be capable of.

No kissed her for a long moment, exchanging that silent agreement that was an answer to her plea, but his hands didn’t stay in place. They dropped to her hips but didn’t still, moving along the waistband of her jeans before hooking his fingers into the belt loops. Guidance, that’s all they served purpose for. A reason to stay in his lap if she desired, neither a strong pull or an urge forward came. His lips parted from hers but only to land against her throat, where he could speak and not feel the weight of her eyes on him. “I want you, completely.” Repeating the word was an emphasis on how badly he wanted to move forward. Noah wanted to dance with Maddie always, to feel her and cherish the moments they could spend together. He wanted to wake up and feel light as he had that morning. “Let me show you I’m yours and that you mean everything to me. I want to show you, Maddie.” With those words uttered against her skin finally came the urge against her belt loops, a pull forward against him that he didn’t think he was capable of. Noah breathed against her skin in a shaken attempt to gather himself, his fingers leaving the belt loops to slip dangerously past the line in the metaphorical sand. Fingertips rounded her back pockets, spreading over the denim but making no attempt to clutch at the curved backside of the woman on his lap. He was nervous, which had to be completely normal if it was so important, right? His heart felt like it was going to burst, but in the good sort of way that reminded him he was alive. Soft kisses along her neck turned to a need for more, but how was he supposed to search for more skin when he didn’t know where to start? Even such a permissible reason, or what seemed as though she was asking him to take what skin he wanted, he still worried that he might go too far. He worried that he might take too much or ask for too much. No dared to lean back, looking up to her eyes to watch the way she might react to his smallest movements. Palms pressed to her back pockets, he helped her hips roll into his own and let out a soft groan into their space.

[shinsticks]

Two lovely outtakes from the Sunday Times shoot by Guerin Blask

[bittersweetremains]

Cody Christian as Asher Adams on All American season 4 episode 9

[cowgorls]

BEN HARDY in Pixie (2020)

[not-museing-around]

long-gone-dream​:

Getting away with breaking the rules would be easy if he didn’t have to worry about Daisy. It would be easier than the job they were about to do and it would be easier than trying to figure her out. Magnus didn’t even understand the fixation, the curiosity he held for why she was even with the mob. She ended up as a tool for Viktor, just a toy he could use to do all the things the boss couldn’t do on his own. Why would she agree to such a thing? Why would she agree to be locked away all the time? Did she fear the outside world so heavily? The woman beside him didn’t seem too convinced about getting Viktor off their ass, but she’d find herself surprised when they returned to the compound. He was going to make sure of it, with certainty. “I’ve got it, you’ll just have to trust me.” Trust seemed to be difficult. She didn’t even trust him to keep her alive, let alone trusting him to keep her from the backlash their boss could reign down. Ping was a much better topic, one he could feel a bit more confident in even if it was false confidence. “You have pong? Once we get the security timed right we’ll have plenty of time to burn before dark, but pong? That’s just about the most boring game you could come up with. Tetris is better.” Mag rolled his eyes, adjusting for comfort in his seat until he could lean back properly without his knees getting in the way of the steering wheel. Talking about their compared intelligence was a little off putting. She tried to make it seem as though his talents were of any relevance to mental capability, and he shook his head as he tried to disagree. “No, I know you’re smarter. I do. I know how to do things out here, how to survive in the world outside that fucking prison back there, but that has nothing on being able to do what you do. I don’t know the first thing about how to even work my phone really, but I can tell you five ways to use a hair tie to torture a man into talking.” Magnus looked over at the other and found himself quite distracted by the teeth hooked onto her lower lip, but he didn’t understand why. Sure, she was beautiful. She was exceptionally beautiful really, but she was hardly the sort of woman who would sully herself with his blood stained hands. Not that he needed to think about that, or any of it really. He tore his eyes away as he realized she was looking at him, blue hues aimed out the windshield. “You can be intimidating, even to a guy like me. It doesn’t matter what you act like though, I have to keep you safe regardless.” Maggie shrugged his shoulders, slightly embarrassed by the brief eye contact he’d made before. The next words from her mouth were harder to accept though, but he made light of her general placement. “So I’m just one of the boys then? One of the litter?” With a lift of his hand he pushed her shoulder, not rough enough to push her across the seat but enough force that she could at least sense his frustration. “I’m aware if what you do for the group. I’ve gotten into a lot of little places, a lot of hidey holes, all because of your brilliance.”

Had she known any other life, daisy probably wouldn’t have been in a mob at all. Maybe she would work in tech support or as some sort of software engineer, perhaps she would get a cat and have an apartment that would have a kitchen so she could make her cup of noodles in a kitchen with a ketal instead of the communal kitchen area with people milling around she didn’t want to talk to at all. But that wasn’t the life she was allowed to live, and it probably never would be. “Okay, okay. It’ll all be in your hands.” Daisy held up hers as if to show her surrender on the matter, that her hands were off of it. It would be up to him to cover for them. “Pong is not boring! How do you not like Pong? It’s a classic! Don’t diss pong! It was one of the first games I ever recreated myself, you ass,” Daisy narrowed her eyes but there was actually a little smile behind her eyes. “I also have Tetris, I only brought up Pong because it’s a two player.” It was kind of funny, watching how far he had to slide his seat back while Daisy just made due with the seat where it had been. The woman was shorter, but it was more than that. Daisy was able to make herself comfortable in any sport she was in. It was also interesting how he spoke of her intelligence. That wasn’t what stopped her. “You don’t know how to use your phone? Come on, don’t play. You do know how to use your phone.. Right? Aside from answering a call, taking a picture, and sending a text?” It was important that she know going in just how technologically challenged he was. When he did look at her, when he looked her way, they locked eyes and it was something of a connection. Was he actually looking at her now? Not just through her? For a moment, just one moment, it seemed like he saw her. Mags looked away almost like he’d been caught, but that was something to inquire about another day. Instead, she too turned her eyes to the windshield. “Oh, so is that an invitation? Should I start being mean then just to see if you’ll still keep me safe?” Joked the woman with a smile finding it’s way to her expression. That smile grew as he pushed her over, tumbling over into a chortle of laughter. Her hand moved to fend off his own. “Believe me, everyone knows Maggie Boy is the big Tough Guy on campus. Best of the best. If they have a job that needs done right, they send you. I think you might be the only person that’s ever noticed my help. But I guess that’s why Viktor calls me a ghost.” 

[long-gone-dream]

The show of hands was enough to make him feel as though he had at least secured the idea he could handle Viktor. She wouldn’t have anything to do with their lies at the end of the night, which he hadn’t been confident enough that she could do well enough. Had she ever been placed in a position to lie to Viktor before? He wasn’t easy to lie to, but he wasn’t the most difficult. Magnus smiled even as she tried to defend the pixel driven game, finding her effort both noble and useless. He had his opinion, but she was right about it being fit for more than one player. “Well, what about something else? Another two player masterpiece recreated by flower girl industries?” He could feel the gaze of the other, staring him down for his slander. It was odd though, she could comfortably sit with her legs crossed beneath herself and he could hardly fit his knees beneath the steering wheel. Most of the men who worked for Viktor were shorter, smaller and stockier in build even. No wonder the seat was practically hugging to the steering wheel to begin with. Did he know how to use his phone though? That was a loaded question. He knew how to operate some parts, like answering calls and returning texts, but he wasn’t entirely sure how to do much else. There was little focus on the tech in his pocket, he loved to live his life and be completely consumed in the world around him. His eyes were always fixed on the next score, the next victim strung up, not aimed down at a screen. “I know how to do a little. I can call Viktor and I can text when I want to. It’s never been really important to use it for much else. Maybe a photo every once in a while, when I’m supposed to take photos.” He shrugged his shoulders casually, as if it was really nothing at all. “I know how to get into my camera roll, how to open a browser when I want, what else is there really to do?” The rest of it was just far beyond his scope, more than he really knew what to do with. Magnus couldn’t be in her position, all of her work over the screen of a tablet or through the keyboard at her desk. A joke was nice, it was also surprising from her. She intended to push buttons by the sound of it, which only made him put on his best smile and nod his head. “You can be mean to me all you want, I can still keep you safe and annoy the shit out of you. It’s all on you, whatever you prefer.” Actual laughter followed his light assault, something that he enjoyed the sound of as rare as it was. Laughter in the car, he never got that kind of interaction. When he was doing jobs he was always alone, always focused on the serious. Maggie boy, the tough guy, he noticed her well enough. Not enough that he made his eyes known when they were on her, but enough that he’d seen her typing away or staring at her screens. Sure, he was the best of the men who broke bones for a living, but she was a ghost. She was undetectable, untraceable. “Viktor has his way with funny little names. The ghost. At least you got something better than Boneman.”

[not-museing-around]

long-gone-dream​:

Being on the phone with Billie had seemed easier in his mind. They’d talk of work, or meeting one another to go over more details, but it was hardly as simple at all. Every word from her was a gift, one that he didn’t know he wanted so desperately. Remus felt as though the gods were taunting him, dangling Billie in front of him as a beautiful yet impossible opportunity. He felt it in his soul, she would recoil from him. The moment he admitted he felt something new when he was with her in the cafe, something he hadn’t felt in thousands of years, she’d have nothing to do with him. It would be devastation, a reason to go into hiding for a century. Remus wasn’t sure if he could handle it, but it was better to not allow himself that chance than to give her the power to refuse him. He continued his pace to the windows and only stopped once he reached the far wall, looking out at the trees surrounding his home. Everything was so quiet, his home was even lacking the noise of life. The only sound in his ears was Billie, but he’d never been more enthralled in a sound in his life. Surprise touched his face as she spoke, his fingers opposite those around the phone steadied himself against the window in front of him with an open palm. Did she mean his company or just company in general? Would she want different circumstances to arise between the two of them? Why did he wish that he could be as much to her, to tell her that he would love to be her company for such exposure? Remus closed his eyes again, watching behind his eyelids the scene unfold. If only she could justify it. It sounded a lot like she was giving him the offer, but he couldn’t be so sure. Still, he couldn’t stop himself from disrespecting the professional image he had of her with the image of her undressing before him. “Maybe you’re right, that’s hardly the ideal circumstance for that sort of company.” It was just enough of a suggestion but loose enough that he didn’t think she’d take offense if it wasn’t what she was looking for. It’s not as if he blatantly said he wanted the right circumstance. He took a few steps back from the window, opening his eyes to his reflection in the glass. He was scarred, unchanged for more years than he was truly alive, but there wasn’t anything particularly special about his face. Dark features added to the seriousness that never left his face, but Billie had forced more than a singular smile out of him. Did he appear normal with a smile on his face? Did he look like a normal man in the cafe across from her? Were other people stepping past their table and questioning how such a golden woman could be on a date with such a dark man? He wished it had been a date. If it had then he wouldn’t feel the need to dance around the open way he wanted to talk to her, to tell her that he’d happily disrobe for her eyes even if she only wanted to look at him. He wanted so badly for her to look at him and not see the bastard he was born as, the man without proper civility and a lack of knowledge about the world. He wanted her to look at him and see a man who had walked through the fires of the underworld, drowned in the oceans among wrecked ships, and spilled more than his fair share of blood to be standing in front of her. Remus wanted to be seen as the kind of man who could be more to her than just who he had been in history. He wasn’t that boy raised by wolves, he wasn’t the man who clanged shield to spear, he was the kind of man who had seen all of the beautiful parts of the world and never witnessed anything as beautiful as her.

As quiet as it was in his home, he heard the faint voice over the receiver of the woman on the line. It was so soft, hardly above a whisper, and yet it was enough to give him a sense of optimism. If he was less serious about the manner he had offered the sword then it would almost sound as though they were flirting with intention, but she couldn’t have meant it that way. She couldn’t have been suggesting anything more than acknowledging the value of an ancient sword. Remus stilled smiled into the phone, brown eyes taking in the view of such a smile in the window’s reflection. It wasn’t harsh, it softened his face even. It made him look more approachable, more human. Maybe, if he smiled at her more often she would feel more comfortable with him. He parted his lips to speak, to say anything about the faint voice he had heard, but she was already continuing and he let it drift from his mind. Both of them were respected items of his past, locked away and taken gentle care of after they were no longer necessary. The world didn’t solve wars with blades anymore. Though, Remus didn’t believe in guns. He didn’t like the idea of life being so easy to take, it was more honorable to fight to take somebody else’s life. “I’m usually not very open to the sword being viewed, but I think I can make an exception given the circumstance for you.” What was he saying? A gentle suggestion, an awkward way to flirt, he couldn’t believe himself at the audacity. He needed to learn to control his tongue. “And for Miles as well, of course. For the sake of historical accuracy.” Why did he have to say things as they came into his mind? It was obvious avoiding the thoughts in his head was going to be far too difficult. How was he meant to keep communication with her without losing sight of work? It was a bait of sorts, a snare created to capture a beautiful deer. It was wrong, he felt it in his bones that he may have said too much, but it was already in the ear of the other and he couldn’t reel it back in. Remus decided to continue, hoping that he could make a recovery. “My schedule is no concern, I can clear it up for the purpose of traveling.” If they were meant to travel as a group then he’d have to travel with Billie. Why did that thought excite him? Seeing her more frequently, every day even, for a period of time that they needed to work together closely. Part of it was concerning as well, because one meeting and he was already struck by her so how would he be able to breathe when he knew she was within reach for days? “I’m not sure how easy it’ll be to adjust to the idea of being known by other people. Costumes of me and people having interest in my story, it’s still far more than I can wrap my head around.” Remus sat at the arm of his couch still facing toward the window. “I’ve been in hiding for thousands of years Billie, being in the thoughts of others is something I never imagined would happen.” It was certainly something he didn’t bother himself with, except for the idea that maybe he was within her thoughts. Did she lay awake thinking of him after they’d left their meeting? All he had been able to think about was her, wrapped around his chest in the parting hug she’d surprised him with. That was the only memory he had of how she felt pressed against him, arms circling his torso in the sort of way he wasn’t accustomed to. It was the sort of thing that prompted deeper thought on how she’d feel with her arms wrapped around him when the summer turned to fall, when she was seeking warmth that he could give her. It was the sort of contact that provided thought on how her arms might wrap around him if he could kiss her. “I’ve always wanted to be a thought, a part of history, and you’re giving that to me. I owe you a considerably large amount of appreciation for that.”

-

Words were important to Billie. Language to a writer was everything, and spoken word, was an art form that Billie felt she usually had down pretty well. Conferences, panels, brainstorming sessions on bigger projects, easy. Commanding a room with the best of them, Billie had never had much trouble articulating what she wanted to say. That was until Remus met her at that coffee shop and she lost all sense of coherency. For that first day, Billie tried to attribute it to just the fact that he had a heavy presence, that she could feel the weight of his energy, of his immortality and that alone flustered her. Who was the writer kidding. The next morning she woke up and she could still feel that weight on her chest that told her would only be lifted if she heard his voice again. And even then, would it get easier? There was no way to say. Now that confirmation had come; it was not in fact easier to handle life when she could hear his voice. It felt as though Remus was in the room, like he might have been sitting with her there on the floor where she had fallen. The blonde thought back to the day that she sat in front of him and spoke about falling in love. About a love worth hurting for. Though she tried to stop herself from feeling that way, Billie couldn’t help the part of herself that wanted more than anything in the world to be enough. To be worth his attention, to be enough to be a light in his dark life was all her heart desired, but he deserved so much better. Remus deserved someone less awkward, someone who was skinny and pretty and everything else the heros in stories seemed to desire. Not a girl who panic baked and couldn’t seem to flirt with him properly. All the blonde seemed to be able to do was embarrass herself with misspoken words. His response only seemed to lean closer to flirtation, but was it? Billie cursed herself for not being able to tell. Was he just being playful? Was he just that polite and putting her at ease? There was no way to say for certain. The curious part of her wanted to ask him, to just see what he was talking about. “Another time then.” That was better than any of her questions would have been. Frankly, she was a little proud of how easily she said as much. Panic then set in. Lots of panic. What if he hadn’t been flirting, would he take it the right way? Hopefully. It made her feel special knowing he wasn’t so open with showing his sword to people. Maybe that meant he didn’t hookup very often. Wait, it was a real sword he was talking about. “I’ll just have to consider myself lucky. And Miles.. You know.. For the historical accuracy.” Even still, Billie smiled, standing from her place with an arm wrapped around her middle while she other held the phone to her ear to be sure she didn’t miss a second. Her pace was slow, absolutely aimless but she felt the need to keep moving or she would smile to herself for the rest of time. Walking didn’t stop her smile though, it didn’t help at all. In fact, it just reminded her of walking with him to his car. And God… the hug. 

The concept of traveling for convention season was great at first, and then it was terrible just as quickly. If getting coffee had left her thinking of him for days, seeing him in his boxers would be that much harder to handle for who knew how long. To be in a hotel, just a room away from him, that would be that much harder to deal with. Spending days talking to him, eating with him, laughing with him, experiencing people remembering him? If just talking with him was too much, how was she supposed to be able to handle spending that much time with him? It was a shame no one had thought about him, that he felt so forgettable when she hadn’t had a thought waking or in her sleep that wasn’t about him. If nothing else by the end of this, she would know him. And if this book was as great as she thought it would be, then millions would know him in no time. “Well, that stopped a couple days ago so.. I would start imagining it,” Billie didn’t feel so shy admitting that, even if her cheeks were bright pink. Remus deserved to know he was in at least her thoughts, that his thousand years of hiding and of being forgotten, was already long over. “It’s honestly an honor, Remus. Being able to share this story is incredible, and knowing you? I.. I can’t make up for thousands of years, but..” Billie paused, biting her tongue for a second, “But maybe I can help you give your brother a big fuck you in the after life. Ya’ know? You were there, and I won’t just let him get away with what happened. You’re this.. Amazing, brilliant, person. You’re spectacular. And you deserve to be known. So.. So I’m giving it my best.” Now she was rambling but she just had one more thing to say on the matter. “You don’t owe me anything, is all I’m trying to say. I’m happy to be doing this with you.” Maybe it was saying too much, but she didn’t want him to think he owed her for anything at all. The fact he wasn’t charging her was a miracle itself. But for him to be thanking her? That was entirely out of the question. If anyone should be thanking anyone, it was Billie. “You’re trusting me, you’re being so open with me.. I means so much. And aside from that I just like talking to you.” Billie admitted and rested her arms on the island counter in the kitchen where she had a little more privacy. “I’m sorry if that’s like.. Forward or something.” 

[long-gone-dream]

Of all the things he wanted to say, speaking his mind was the most difficult. If she could hear his thoughts she would be appalled. He wanted to ask her if she wanted to have dinner, to sit together over a meal and have that normal interaction he’d had with her over coffee. In the darkest parts of his mind, where he contained thought of Billie in different circumstance, he could clearly see sitting with her for dinner and more. That wasn’t proper. That wasn’t the way to handle the attraction. He would be better off not thinking about her without clothes, it would be better for him because then he wouldn’t be so driven to ask her to take them off. How was he supposed to undress in front of her and not feel as though he needed to be close, to feel all of his loneliness eased by skin and warmth. Remus listened for a response, worried that maybe she was going to reject his attempt to flirt, but the rejection didn’t come. Instead, Billie gave him more hope. She offered him an opening, or what he thought might be an opening. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe he was reading into it more than he should have. He couldn’t be sure. Still, such a comment spurred his lips into a grin. “Another time, under different circumstance.” Friendly people could say as much, couldn’t they? If she became unhappy by his wording then he could easily express that it was his efforts to be lighthearted, right? Remus felt a near panic, unsure if he had created a problem between them. If he wedged unnecessary attraction into the conversation and she didn’t feel the same way then he was a foolish man. Gods, he was sweating. He was actually sweating, which was hardly a normal event for Remus. His eyes closed as she started to speak again, but trying to imagine her lips moving to the words was more difficult. It wasn’t just the words, but the meaning he hoped laid beneath them. She would consider herself lucky. Was she flirting? Was she talking about the actual sword in question? He wanted to offer a stabbing, but he wasn’t sure if he could even do so if he had the courage to say it. Billie wasn’t just a woman to meet up with, she was more than that. He knew with certainty that he couldn’t just participate in something intimate with Billie once. It would be a repeated action, a serial stabbing. Remus shook his head, annoyed with his inability to think of her as she was. Even in the more innocent thoughts he had it was centered on how he wanted to be lucky. He wanted to be the lucky person who could know Billie in ways that maybe another hadn’t been able to. She spoke about love, about wanting it so terribly, so he had to assume that she hadn’t felt it before with anyone. Perhaps he wanted to find out if love could be worth the pain, but with Billie. Something drew him to her, a feeling he couldn’t shake and one he wasn’t sure he had the will to push away. “I could leave it with you, for safe keeping I mean. I trust you’d take good care of it.” That was more personal, an intentional absence of Miles in the offer. Was he intentionally planting the seed of thought? Maybe. Maybe he wanted her to think about the sword itself, but he wanted there to be a lingering thought involved of suggestion. Remus was playing a dangerous game with words but he couldn’t help himself.

Would traveling be more about the task at hand or would he find himself alone with her? Could he be alone with her and not think of how lovely it would be to be alone with her more often? All he wanted was to have her and that was hardly the thoughts of a man with work on his mind. Remus thought briefly of luring her into a lone meeting under the pretenses that he wanted to talk, to tell her about his history, but meeting under false pretenses was dangerous. If she didn’t want to spend time with him then it was a sure fire way to ruin everything. At least, while traveling, they’d be closer. He could look forward to that, as long as they could get what they needed to put out the first edition in time. Would he be able to focus on the con at all with her near? He couldn’t see himself tearing his eyes away from her, knowing what it was to wish for her presence. All he wanted was to see her face, to make her smile and risk the touch of his fingers to her skin again. It was a miracle that he’d been able to part from her after the meeting, every ounce of power was put on restraining himself. The hug she gifted him with was a connection he had thought of giving more to. How could he not think about it with regret? She had been pressed against him, touching him, and he regretted not holding her there for longer. He regretted not asking her to stay, to hold him in the parking lot as if they could have been long lost lovers reunited. It almost felt like they were something, some kind of will of the gods. Why else would he feel so full in the green eyes that had sat across from him? Why else would he want her with such vigor? Remus nearly missed the words in the phone while so captivated by the thought of her, but how could he miss such beautiful words? A few days ago and he had made an impact, a change to his forgotten life. Such soft, sweet words gave him more hope. He was in her thoughts, but to what extent? Just his life? Was he more of a presence than that? Could he be in her thoughts the way she was within his own? Dancing around in her head to a waltz that always ended in embracing one another? Remus couldn’t speak, not under the weight of such thought. Did she want him to know that she thought of him because she wanted to know if he thought of her? He wondered whether speaking on the matter would make a change, if he told her that she was the only thought in his head she would invite him into her life for less professional reasons. The beautiful voice continued in his ear, giving him a passion for life he hadn’t known. Fuck Romulus, his betrayal couldn’t have been all there was to his life. Billie was passionate about changing the course of history, of changing the meaning behind his troubling eternity. Remus felt weaker in his chest than he could describe, as if there was emotion pumping into the muscle he’d thought rather useless beneath his ribs. The last of the words to pass from the other end changed him. She was happy to be doing the work, not because it would bring her any fame but it would bring justice to the world. She was happy to do it with him, not for him. That was important. It was an important detail that he hung onto for a moment, tossing around in his mind before he spoke. “I’ve never been as open with anyone about everything, Billie. You’ll get every detail you want from me, all you have to do is ask. It’s an honor to be the focus of your company, but even more so it’s an honor to be involved in all of this with such a talented writer. If anyone is capable of telling everything for the way it happened, it’s you.” There was a different story to be created though. Something drastically different from the pain and anger of his past. The new story at hand was one of importance just the same. Remus was experiencing life. He was living and feeling new things and wanting. Of all things, he wanted again. Her, above all else.

Relief struck his soul so quickly with such unexpectedly soothing words. She liked talking to him. Sure, there was a little before she had said that specifically, but it hardly mattered compared to those few words. She liked talking to him. At least he could take that into consideration when he thought of her. Billie was happy to talk to him, to know him, and maybe she would be happy to be known. Remus stood from the edge of the couch, circling around to take a proper seat on its cushion. “I like talking to you Billie…” How was it forward? Did she mean it in a different way? Was it less about talking to him formally and just hearing his voice, like she had said when she answered the phone? Gods, he wanted it to be so. He wanted her to mean it, not apologize for it. “I don’t think it’s forward, it’s just honest.” If she could be honest then so could he, right? Could he spew forth the importance he’d placed upon her? “I enjoy your company, over coffee or over the phone. It’s nice to feel less alone.” That was hardly personal enough. It gave off the impression that he was using her the way he did with unsuspecting dinner guests in a restaurant. Remus cleared his throat gently, forcing forth the proper words. “I mean, I enjoy your company specifically if that wasn’t entirely clear. You’re a brilliant woman and it’s a pleasure to hear from you.” Fuck. He was hardly successful in his attempts to say the right thing. So much for smooth, he couldn’t seem to be any sort of forward. “I haven’t made much use of phone calls before, but I’m happy to change that to experience your company more often.”

[not-museing-around]

long-gone-dream​:

Dinner with Scott was never in the plans. Hell, it was never in the plans to leave the table together. It was never in her intentions to jump into his truck, convince him to play a dumb game and swim in a cold river just so they could end up spent and clinging to one another. Orion couldn’t believe herself, but she didn’t focus on the screaming voice in her head that said it was far too good to be true. Scott was handsome, but he was also adorable in ways that she didn’t know would warm her soul. Even the small joke pulled a roll from her eyes but she loved it. She loved that he didn’t take everything too seriously, that they could still be mildly ridiculous despite the situation they found themselves in. It was more than just adorable because he was ridiculous though, but because he was the sort of man who after getting off made her feel like she was special. He made her feel like she was on a pedestal she hadn’t ever been placed upon. “I’m not much for ice cream, I’d prefer some yogurt and an ample amount of work on the shoulders. Tension seems to build there.” She didn’t need to thinks for even a second, Scott took the lead and made everything as effortless as just being alive. It crossed her mind that she didn’t understand why his ex wife would be so reckless with the love of a man who was so soft. He was what dreams were made of, at least dreams she let herself have when she couldn’t keep from it. Lisa must not have understood that he was one of the good ones, a man who didn’t hurt others just because he could. He didn’t cause pain because it felt good for him. Rion smiled as his hands touched to her thighs, a gentle motion she didn’t know she needed. For some reason she absolutely wanted to be connected to him, glued to his body like the jeans hanging on his waist. “Oh, but hitting corners and fumbling around is the best part sometimes.” Even if she wanted to fuck with him for being so sweet, she really couldn’t. She was in a post orgasm bliss at his hands, there was hardly any room to criticize his behavior. Still, she had to keep up appearances and mustered something. “What a fucking sap…” Even the roll of her eyes was accompanied by a smile, something soft and barely high enough to show how much she enjoyed the things he was saying to her. Scott lifted his hands and she felt the need to lean in, to feel his touch early against her face wherever it seemed to land, but she had to resist. Showing too much was far too ridiculous. Still, he granted her the touch of his thumb along her cheekbone and she moved her own hands, nimble digits climbing into the bottom of his button up to grip at his hips. More sweet words, more promise of keeping them from drifting too far apart, and the threat of premature engagement to top it off. Orion should have been running. She should have been pushing him away and running off like she knew how, but she couldn’t. She could only hum against his lips and look at him when he pulled off of her with a softness to the warm brown hues. “I’ll take the front seat, I might actually like that you want to look at me. I mean, as long as you’re looking over at me and thinking all about how I’m going to look across from you at dinner tomorrow.” She pushed his hips away from her, eager to find her own way to the front seat. “Now take me home, before I get some crazy idea that this backseat is spacious enough for more wear and tear.”

“Guilty.” A fucking sap was the best way to describe him. Scott knew it. He wasn’t at all ashamed of the fact he was old fashioned. The comedian was a ridiculous guy, that was just part of his personality. Still her fingers were on his skin again, and though they weren’t terribly cold, it still gave him a chill. There was some reluctance to step back but her little push told him that she wanted a little independence. He wasn’t about to rob her of that, especially not after pseudo marriage proposal. “I honestly may end up getting us killed with how distracted I am by looking at you.” Scott walked backward an extra step so he could look her over once again in the moonlight. The man did finally tear his eyes away to round the car but not without opening her door for her. Sliding into the driver’s seat, he buckled up and licked his lips. Orion was still on his lips, her flavor trapped in his heard and locked into his sensory memory. Holding back a groan, the man turned the car on and let himself smile over at the woman who had actually gotten him to not only strip while he drove, but swim in a river with her nearing midnight and on the back seat of his car, leave a lasting imprinted memory of how she looked in the throes of passion. “But back to where we should go after dinner.. I don’t mind either way. Your place would have a few less toys, but I’m not like.. One of those guys trying to keep you from their house. I don’t have anything to keep you from.” Even Molly didn’t seem off the table, which sounded so crazy to him. Most people waited longer, right? But Orion would love the little girl and he was just sure that Molly would love her. Maybe it was the part of him that so desperately wanted the little one to have a lady in her life that wasn’t his mother. Lisa had left a big hole in the little girl and he did his best to fill it while he worked, and he did a good job. He thought himself a good dad, always putting her first, living a life himself, adoring her more than anything. “And you’re going to have to give me those directions for real this time or I’ll just end up kidnapping you after all.” Scott winked as he backed out of the spot he was in and once the car was in drive, he did the sappy thing he figured she’d tease him for and opened his hand for her to take once it lifted from the shifter. It was a small gesture, but he felt too far away. After sex he was a big cuddler. A shag and snuggle. So not being able to wrap her up in his arms bothered him just a little bit. Not enough to regret anything at all, he just wished he could be staying with her for the night instead of going back to his lonely hotel room to lay awake thinking about the woman with the stars in her eyes. 

[long-gone-dream]

Distraction? She’d never been considered a distraction before. Sure, she could remember a fair amount of success luring Nick away from studying for his exams, but that was less about her and more about the propositions at hand. Scott wasn’t Nick though. She didn’t have to try to get his attention, whispering things in his ear and making promises. Scott wanted to be distracted by her for her existence, for the mere breath she drew instead of anything else. Rion should have been swooning, part of her truly was in a way, but she had to keep up the unmoved facade. “Try not to get us killed Scotty boy, regardless of distraction.” Even as she spoke he was stepping further away, giving her the space to do as she wanted, but his eyes seemed more than happy to stay on her for the moment. Did he really find her to be something special? Was she special? She could hear the voice of her mother, telling her she was named for the stars because of how bright she was, but that was hardly special. Maybe, when she let herself sink into emotion, she wanted to be special to him. She wanted to be the sort of woman he looked at and couldn’t seem to make himself look away no matter how he tried. Scott finally gathered himself enough to start on his way around the car and she stepped forward, shutting the door to the backseat but in exchange for the one up front opened by his efforts. Of course he opened the door for her, it seemed only right. With a small smile, one she tried to hide but to no avail, she pulled herself into the passenger seat and tugged the door shut. He joined beside her and she pulled the seatbelt over her chest, clicking it into place as he did his own. Once the car was turned on she moved her eyes toward the dark haired man, expecting him to start their journey but rolling her eyes at his repeated suggestion. Of course he wanted to talk about where to stay after their date, but she wasn’t sure what she wanted. His daughter would be out of the house, she’d see firsthand the kind of man he was in his own space, but that also meant she was the one who would have to leave in the morning. That was always so much harder, walking out to the car in the same clothes she had on the night before. “We can go to your place. Where a man sleeps always seems to say a lot about him.” It was true. Besides, she’d be able to sniff out another woman, if there was one, in moments. What would she do then? She’d already slept with him, she had already fought and lost the will to continue to fight against the idea of liking him, if he was lying about his wife being his ex wife then she’d have more embarrassment than anything. She couldn’t think that way, he didn’t seem like the kind of man to lie. He seemed like the kind of man who told the truth even when it was difficult, something she was beginning to enjoy about him. Scott threatened a kidnapping and she struggled to hold back a quiet giggle, but it was what happened after he started to move the car that stopped her entirely. A hand offered into the space between them meant he wanted to hold her’s, to be connected in such a way. Orion considered swatting it away, making some kind of joke, and enduring the awkward that followed. That plan was hardly plausible though, not when she wanted to be important to him in that way. “It’s a right onto the road and about two miles down you’ll take a left. Once we get that far I’ll tell you more, so you don’t have to remember everything and feel ridiculous when you forget because you’ve been too busy thinking about what happened in the backseat.” Carefully, as if touching him would burn her fingertips, she eased the slender digits between his and looked toward the passenger window.

[not-museing-around]

long-gone-dream​:

For a woman who had been so quick to taunt him, she was hardly taunting anymore. She was promising herself to him, giving over completely, and making vague plans for the next time they were together. When would be the next time? Oscar wanted to think quickly about the party happening the following night, how he’d asked her to come to be his guest, and the answer was so clear. She’d slip into the bar to see him, to celebrate the initiation of the new recruit, and then they’d slip off elsewhere. His bedroom was above the bar, there would be far too much noise to hear any conversations or otherwise, but he didn’t know if he wanted her to see the private area. He wasn’t sure if he wanted her to witness the guns on tables and empty bottles that had once been full of whiskey. What would she say about the ashtray full of cigarette butts and joints? How would she react to the disheveled sheets and dim lighting? It didn’t matter, she had to see it at some point. They couldn’t just pretend that he was a happy man with happy habits and a lifestyle worthy of such devotion from her. It wasn’t what he owned or what he could do with the power the club gave him, Kai was invested in the man he was and she’d proven it. Oscar may have been more than a little rugged around the edges, but he wasn’t as bad as everyone claimed he could be. He couldn’t be all bad when he was capable of feeling the gentler things life had to offer, like emotion toward Kai in such a way that he couldn’t imagine not falling madly in love with her. The kind of love where he knew he would be blinded, completely focused on her and only her, damn the rest of the world. He was already so close, so near to that emotion. He’d spent far too long wanting, needing more than smiles and knowing eyes. He spent too long holding himself together when he wanted to fall apart with her as they were now. Kai was at the other end of his mercy and he wasn’t prepared to lighten up, wanting her to feel it in the morning when she woke and felt him beside her in bed. It would be evidence, proof of the way they had finally collided. Her voice, desperate and breathless, would ring in his ears through his dreams and beyond for the rest of his life. His name was followed by a demand, one he was happily seeing through without hesitation. She wanted his all, all the gas left in the tank, and he was more than happy to give it to her. There was a change though, it wasn’t just his movement controlling the way the two of them moved. Kai started to move her hips and he pulled in a sharp breath of air, an even deeper force created between their simultaneous movement. “Fuck, that’s it. Show me how you want it.” Even as he finished speaking she was letting out a warning, her voice tapering off near the end as he felt the crash come over her. It was different than before when she been in his lap, he was in control of the orgasm just as much as she was the one experiencing it. He slowed his hips but maintained the force, not without his own difficulty though. She was tightening, squeezing around him in that raw moment of pleasure, which only felt even more incredible than just knowing she had cum for him. His head fell back, blonde hair knocked loose from its place, and Oscar let out a groan for each forward motion into her quaking walls.

Though in this moment Kai couldn’t think about it, she was curious to see what his home looked like. He’d seen hers though they didn’t spend much time looking around. They were far too entranced with one another to bother looking around but she was sure he’d be happy with the space. It would do him some good to spend time away from the club and the rest of the boys every now and again. He would always have a place to stay there if he wanted it and a warm bed to return to with a woman waiting. But that being said, she wanted to see what was waiting for her. There was so much to him, a depth she was sure he didn’t show to many. Her home spoke much about her personality though. It was colorful, but dark. Purple with black molding, her art up on the walls with a tapestry here or there. Not a single personal picture to be found, but there was a story with each piece that was hung or just leaning. Would his room have pictures? Would she find other women’s discarded underwear or a pile of dirty laundry in general? With the guys just downstairs, she doubted he kept much for personal items around to keep from seeming sentimental. He didn’t come off as a terribly sentimental man. Either way, she wanted to leave a lasting print. Whether it was the smell of her perfume or her underwear left for him to find on his mattress after she’d gone. Something to remind him that she was there. When he slowed, Kai’s moans became more separated but every single thrust got at least one. Painted nails chipped as she clawed at the wooden ledge, making streaks to show the wood underneath where paint had fallen victim to her grasp. Every thrust of his hips was better than the last. “Gods you feel so fucking good. I can feel you so deep.” Though she was mid orgasm, there was a sensual nature to her tone in the way she let herself rock back into him. It didn’t matter that her legs were ready to give out, she would push through to bring him pleasure. “Cum for me. Please? I wanna’ feel you dripping down my legs again. I want you to make a mess of me.” The woman used all of her energy to raise up from the windowsill, to hold herself up with both hands against it so that she could look over her shoulder and force herself back into him  with every rhythmic spearing straight through her insides. “Come on, baby. Please give it to me?” Kai bit her lower lip as she looked back at him this time over her inked shoulder, making sure to rotate her hips back into him, gyrating against his pelvis every chance she got once her body had stopped quaking enough that she had the will to move. In the future she would know what challenging did to him, and it would certainly be more purposeful. More deliberate than it had even been today. She knew he would break, but no one had ever fucked her so hard. Not one time. 

[long-gone-dream]

Had it been anyone else, any other beautiful woman, he wouldn’t have sought out the orgasm. He wouldn’t have given it a second thought, even so much as to wonder whether or not what he did felt good for another person. If he wasn’t with Kai it would have been purely to get himself off, however rough and merciless that happened to be. Kai wasn’t a singular hole to fill, she wasn’t just a body attached to the toy between her thighs for his use. Everything around them was hers, it all belonged to the tattooed woman, and he was included. More than anything, more than he had ever enjoyed being selfish, he loved being the man who made her slip off the edge and took pride in the realization that he would do it again and again for her and only her. Oscar belonged to Kai. He felt the noose slip around his neck so to speak, the monogamy a death the the man he was before. There was no will to fight it, to laugh at her need for his exclusivity. All he wanted was to be rightfully owned, to have a place to call his home against inked skin and in the brown irises. She seemed to be riding the waves of her orgasm with more than just enjoyment, but proper sensation deep into her the way he willed it. He wanted her to remember that he could be soft when she was gentle with him, but it was important to remind her that he held no qualms against fucking the callous behavior from her. Oz smiled at the words, making more thorough rolls of his hips into her in an effort to touch wherever he could between her walls. “You’re fucking incredible.” The words were hardly all he intended to say, but the bounce back of her against him forced a moan out of him. That moan shifted into an unintentionally desperate sound at her encouragement. She wanted a mess made out of her, and was certainly going to get it. Kai lifted up from the windowsill, pushing upright into her hands and he caught her eyes from over her shoulder. There was an intensity there, a woman who was coming down from the high of an orgasm begging for the one thing he hadn’t given her yet. Not even the way she bit her lip was gentle, let alone the way she pushed her hips back into him. Oscar was speechless, parted lips unable to release sound even as they worked in unison to force forth his release. He stayed that way for a moment, overwhelmed at the hands of the other, but it was a moment of weakness before he took action. Oz didn’t hold himself back, there was no limit to his hips or how quickly he allowed himself to pound forward. It was a sudden change, a shift of his mindset, and he didn’t care if it rendered her knees useless. A flurry of thrusts began and he dropped his head back, panting between every push and pull.

[not-museing-around]

long-gone-dream​:

The main course to speak of was beginning to sound more and more untimely for his needs. Maddox could hardly make it out of the villa, let alone making it through time at the beach and an actual meal before he was hearing her moan and call for him. The hand within his own tangled their fingers, a welcomed touch to keep him focused on where they were headed instead of plucking her off her feet and taking her back to where he could make her feel just how touching her before had tormented him. It was the joining hand to his arm that turned his attention toward the green hues looking up at him. She hadn’t been on a proper trip outside of work but he hadn’t either, something they could both enjoy about being together in Mexico. Over a year sounded like such a brief time, something so small compared to the lifetime he felt they had spent together. Yet, it felt also like he had met Leah only months ago, catching the redhead in his arms and promising to himself that he’d spend his life trying to love her the way she deserved. “It’s much better than the city, but this is my first time traveling purely to relax rather than work. I’ve been all sorts of places but it’s always to work.” Work wasn’t even a concern anymore. The company had proper leadership in the city, all he ever had to worry about was a short phone call here and there other than the occasional paperwork. Leah pulled away from the comfort of his side to lift their joined hands, twirling beneath them and Maddox couldn’t help but chuckle under his breath. She was perhaps the best person to take his mind off of things, the light in his stressful life. The redhead seemed pleased with herself as she lured him toward the others, stopping in place to pay attention to the instructor of their spontaneous lesson. Every movement seemed far too fast for him, but he had to give his best effort not to look foolish in front of Leah. Most often he was composed, quickly excelling at whatever was thrown his way, but dancing didn’t look to be something as easily caught on to. Pressed together, given a little room to move their feet, Max smiled and tried to take the first step, which evidently was the wrong one as she moved just in time for their steps to collide. His arms quickly tried to keep her from falling, but as much as he wanted to be concerned it was hardly plausible as she started to laugh. Apparently they were hardly even considered beginners, finding something so simple so difficult. The instructor spoke and he raised his eyes, finding the man with a smile that lowered the more he spoke. Holding her close, acting as if he wanted to tear her clothes off? It seemed ironic, given that he’d been close enough before. He turned his head toward Leah, arching a brow at her own way of taunting him. They weren’t married, but damned if he didn’t want her close. His arm tightened around her, bringing her into his chest. It was an immensely satisfying feeling, holding Leah in against him, but if he did show any inclination he felt to tearing away the dress from around her they’d have to leave their lesson early. She seemed amused with herself, happy to see him struggle to remain composed.

When Leah was growing up, her mother had told her that falling in love somehow felt like an eternity and like it all happened all at once. That’s how time with Maddox had felt; they’d been together such a short amount of time, but it felt as if she’d known him a lifetime. And a year and a few months really wasn’t a short amount of time for the modern era. They’d been together almost every day since they’d professed those feelings, they’d shared holidays, birthday’s, she’d met his mother as terrible as it had been. Now they were finishing up the preparations to move into their home, one that was familiar to them in the way that it was still the apartment they’d fallen in love in, it was just bigger now. Everything had fallen into place with them, everything was looking up. And to top it off, they were in Mexico, so far away from the stress of the world. At least some of the stress. It appeared that neither of them had been joking about their lack of dancing skill. In a way though it was cute. Maddox wasn’t just magically gifted in all things, he was human after all though she would always see him as a god. Her God, her King, her world, her everything. ”So quiet..” The man yanked her into his chest, pressing her in so close she swore he’d be able to feel her heartbeat through her breasts, just as she could feel beating through his chest and against hers. With a little more instruction and the closeness to help lead her, Leah moved with him as smoothly as she could manage to the music playing. That didn’t prevent her from falling into his chest when she tripped over her own foot. “We’re really terrible at this,” Leah giggled as she regained her standing so that she could look up his way and tighten her hand on the one holding her own. Eventually they’d have to learn how to dance, but it would probably be a little more simple than the machete or whatever this dance was. If they did ever get married, the first dance would probably be as disastrous as this was so far but it would be on par with how dancing had gone thus far. “Promise you won’t stop loving me if I’m always tripping over my two left feet?”  Maybe it was silly, but Leah was hoping that there was little she could do that could make him stop loving her. But after everything with the hospital, after being shot and having to pay for her medical bills as well as for the repairs to the shop, she assumed he would have left a long time ago if he intended to ever. 

[long-gone-dream]

The lack of words from Maddox wasn’t due to having nothing to say, it was simply to keep his thoughts from the words of the instructor. Any mention of tearing her dress from her body only made it seem like a better idea, but he couldn’t spoil a dance lesson for selfish reasons. He could only listen to more instruction, taking the guidance but allowing Leah the lead. If he started then he’d take them both down, which was hardly ideal. Max enjoyed the movement, but it reminded him of his own flaws. If he couldn’t properly dance then they’d make a fool of themselves in front of others when they married, which was far more prevalent in his mind now that they were completely alone and away from the world they knew. Who would come to their wedding? He didn’t have any family left to invite besides his brother, but did Leah have family someplace? Did she have cousins or aunts or perhaps friends that wanted to see her happy? The trip of the redhead in his arms didn’t have room to be disastrous, his arms quickly catching her in place as a smile found his face. “We might be very terrible at this, but we’ll go pro eventually.” Something slower, less about the steps and more centered on being together, would work better for the two of them. He wanted to slow and kiss her with every traded step of their feet. His heart swelled at even the sound of her happy, she deserved to be happy. After all the pain of the incident, the stress of what followed, a giggle was mow than music to his ears. Maddox did find it surprising she would ask him to promise to love her. If there was anything to do with his life that he was absolutely sure he wanted it was to love Leah. She was his universe, the love of his life, he couldn’t stop loving her even if he wanted to. Max leaned closer, bringing his lips closer to her cheek for the smallest moment. “I love you even with the two left feet. You could have two left hands and I’d still love you just as much.” The fact of it all was that he loved Leah for more than anything she could give him or anything they could be. “What do you say? Promise to love me even if I can’t dance like Prince Charming?”

[not-museing-around]

long-gone-dream​:

Even if he was late to tell her, Milo knew more than well enough that she could take confidence in the words. He loved her. He loved Keller for everything she was and everything she could be, for all the darker parts of her past and the bright future they had together. It wasn’t hard for her to love him, to take every bit of pain that he had been through and rewrite it into beautiful lessons on how to be the kind of man who deserved her. Milo was in love with Keller in the kind of way that he never thought he would be able to share with anyone. He wanted to live his life with her, to be her partner in every sense of the word. He wanted to be more than some kid who never felt loved, but a man who never questioned whether he was important. He could feel that importance in the way she held him, but even more so in the way the dark brown eyes couldn’t peel away from him even after she had satisfied him. What he loved about that constant connection between their eyes was being able to witness when it changed, when she was overwhelmed and they brightened just at the touch of his fingers. It was as if her body couldn’t respond for a moment, freezing all but the pulse he could feel at his fingertips. It was only a second and she was back, refreshed like a webpage ready to answer him. Just asking for it made him smirk, his fingers teasingly gentle as they circled her clit. That smug look on his face dropped as she gripped his wrist, the words prior ringing through his ears. It was sucking him off that made her so slick, which was nothing to ignore. “I know you love my cock in your mouth Kell, but I think fucking that perfect mouth really set of some kind of waterfall down here.” Milo pushed his fingers down from the small bead to glide a couple fingers along her opening. “Get on the bed for me baby..” He pressed his lips against the rise of her cheekbone, smiling once the touch was lifted away. “I might need a few minutes to recover but I can still fuck you with my fingers and I want to feel you squeezing around them before I even have the chance to get hard again.”

It wouldn’t surprise her if Milo was met with a waterfall between her thighs. Being used that way by Milo, swallowing all he gave her, it had unlocked a submission within her she hadn’t known was there willingly to give to anyone. But right now, she understood why Milo wanted to be in control. Talking about his feelings wasn’t something Milo was used to, it wasn’t something he did often even with her. Keller had offered to give him everything, and she would give it to him just as she promised. “What can I say, I like it when you take charge. You look hot always, but there’s just something about when you take what you want,” Keller’s head lulled back just slightly, her eyes fluttering closed as she moaned for him when those fingers seemed to go exploring her folds. The actress returned to her upright posture and let her eyes flutter open to find a pair of lips against her cheek with a request she would never deny of him. Stepping back from him, Keller held to his wrist even as she made her move onto the mattress to lay down on their bed. One that hadn’t been utilized nearly enough that day in her opinion. Laying out for him, Keller let her tanned shapely arms drape above her head so delicately. Instead of spreading her legs out for him though, Keller brought her knees together to try to conceal herself, to hide her from his vision just so she could watch him force her legs apart. “I have no doubt that I’m about a minute away from cumming if you fuck me with those fingers. And then when you get hard again, you know I’m all yours. I’d be happy to make you cum again.” It was like willingly submitting herself for torture. If he fucked her right after she came around his fingers, Keller would be overstimulated and quaking, but in a way that would make it that much better. 

[long-gone-dream]

If she thought that taking the lead was a good look on him then she didn’t need to expand on the matter. Milo wanted to give her what she wanted, that was always his aim when they were together whether it was physical or not, but if what she wanted was to be at his mercy then he didn’t have a single complaint. Even as she pulled him back to the bed by his wrist he was preparing himself mentally for the possible outcome. There wasn’t a doubt he’d find himself hard again, he could become aroused just looking at her most often, but giving Keller his fingers was going to end up with the blonde writhing on the bed. At least, if he could do as he wanted properly. Keller hit the bed and instead of splaying her legs for him as she did most often she kept them together at the knees, pulling a smile to his face. She wanted him to work for it, to take as he pleased, and gave him opportunity to do so. Milo stood there for a moment just looking at her, witnessing a goddess in motion. Toned arms raised above her head to elongate her body, pulling her chest even more upward to his attention with the position. Each peak was pierced with metal, a destination for his mouth when he got around to it, but further down was bliss. Slender in the waist, curved at the hips with a gentle slope, all down to the ass he couldn’t see but knew he loved the same as the rest of her. He took action, stepping forward until his knees were mounting the bed, speaking as he moved. “The goal is to have what I want, right? Maybe what I want is to make you cum over and over again until you’re just a little unsure where you are.” His hands were soft as they moved over the tops of her knees, palms gliding over them as if he was providing intense admiration, but it was just a rouse. His fingers took to roughness within an instant, pulling her knees apart and settling himself between them. He lifted one hand now that he knew she couldn’t close her thighs again and pressed his fingertips to the entrance he’d been threatening before. “Maybe I want you an absolute mess when I’m done with you Keller.” A couple digits, two expert fingers, pushed into her between the two of them and he leaned forward to connect his lips to her ribs. It wasn’t immediate, he let the walls so aroused around his fingers adjust for a moment to the intrusion, but after a few touches of his lips along her torso he started to pump his hand. It wasn’t even a purposeful curl to his fingers, but a literal fucking. He wanted her to feel them and wish for his cock, to cum and feel as though she wasn’t quite as full as she wanted to be. Repetition, a mildly quick pace settled, all accompanied by parted lips smiling at her navel. “I’ve been waiting to be inside you all day Kell, all fucking day.”