Epiphany

23.

[6-octopuses]

u kno.... if u wanted to cuddle with me and watch cartoons.... i wouldnt mind..... u could maybe uhhhh kiss me too.... it would be fine with me ..... whatever tho....

[dropovers]

me? constantly afraid of being abandoned and replaced? hell yes

[memeuplift]

[noodle]

love is the most important thing ever

[noodle]

not just romance . just having love in ur heart

[campyvillain]

🔘if quizzes r quizzical then what r tests

[parakeet]

had this guy come into the store todayy and he had a full on coughing fit in the aisle he was wearing one of those blue generic masks and he was coughing so bad he was turning red and he came to the till and in between coughs and eye waterings he said ‘its not covid i picked this mask up off the floor and i think it has cat hair in it’ and then his card declined and he left

[cumpdocumentation]

[kate-victoriax-deactivated20220]

like imagine being slightly wine-drunk and having your thighs kissed in a sunny field of wildflowers

[detectivehole]

everyone here hates when their posts blow up yet no one fucking hesitates to reblog already popular posts. no one shows that kindness and it's wonderful. a mutual understanding that op dug their own grave by being a top notch clown and that's their problem, not yours

[mvcxjr]

mfs getting one chance w me.. we grown. do right the first time.

[thrusticus]

[literaturefeen-deactivated]

Have any of y’all heard the tale of the man and woman who spent their entire lives together and he always wondered about the yellow ribbon wrapped around her throat, but always told him not to touch it. It’s about to get more interesting. There are two different versions:

1. They spend years happy together and she falls ill. Then one day, he asks her about it again and she lets him pull it only for her head to roll off.

2. He pulls it off one night while they’re in bed and her head comes off. Her decapitated head looks at him and asks him why didn’t he trust her.

[galvanizedfriend]

[leatherleaves]

I recently started working in hospitality, and I’ll tell you guys right now, the trope of “there was only one bed” is not as rare as you’d think in real life. A few times a week, at least, I have guys come in who are working together on projects in town or passing through who have to literally book the last room I have available for the night and lo and behold — there is only one bed, and guess what, they give each other a side-eyed look and begrudgingly take it. So write it up, it happens all the time!!!

[karis-the-fangirl]

[blatant-phishing-attempt-bot-de]

Never let your There Was Only One Bed dreams die. I was secretly in love with my best friend for over a year when she graduated and moved to Oklahoma (like 1000 miles away) for grad school. Between that travel restrictions, we were so scared we’d never see eachother again.

At the end of summer, when Covid numbers were at a lower point, I took the risk to visit her in her new apartment and I quickly realized that, unlike when I’d spent the night at her house before, the couch wasn’t made up like a bed. She explained that since her new couch was so fancy and pink, I couldn’t possibly sleep on it, and so I needed to sleep in the bed with her. You know, out of necessity. I woke up with her snuggled around me in the middle of the night.

We’re dating now, and I genuinely think I’m going to marry her. Just the other day, though, I mentioned that if she hadn’t been weird about her fancy couch, I probably never would have like confessed my feelings. AND THEN she stood up, took the cushions off the fancy couch, UNFOLDED IT INTO A HIDE-A-BED, and said “I KNOW.”

THIS GIRL. ORCHESTRATED. BED SCARCITY. JUST SO SHE COULD MAKE THE “ONLY ONE BED” EXCUSE. Y’all when I said I just about lost my goddamn mind, I just about lost my goddamn mind. I love this sneaky bitch so much and the moral of this story is BE THE ONE BED YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD.

[leet911]

Fanfic imitates life, and life imitates fanfic. It’s full circle really.

[blue00phoenix]

oh my god 

there was only one bed

but it was STAGED

[thedragonemperess]

I love this so much

[killjoyfabulous]

I like tumblr because it’s the only social media platform that isn’t like “look how great my life is going right now!” it’s literally just shitposting. it’s the one website that doesn’t destroy your self esteem. no one has ever read a text post that just said “bungus” and been like “wow they have their whole life together and I wish that could be me” and I’m here for it

[yoursuziekins]

Saturday, May 15th, 2021. It's been 428 days since Breonna Taylor was killed by the LMPD & Brett Hankinson, Jonathan Mattingly & Miles Cosgrove haven't faced charges or been arrested for her death. 

[amygdalae]

CDC says I get to stay up until midnight and eat as much candy as I want

[catasters]

[ysolt]

cdc announces that vaccinated people can now squish their boobs on another girl’s boobs soapy in the shower

[bubblexgum-deactivated20211104]

at first i was like hmmm 𝑑𝑎𝑑𝑑𝑦 as a JOKE but bro i don’t think it’s a joke anymore