Long Live Lindsay

I'm outdoorsy in that I like getting drunk on patios.

[longlivelindsay]

Hi. I'm the problem. It's me.

I'm Lindsay, I'm 37, living in Texas, and I love writing poetry, listening to music, binge watching TV, wasting my time online, and reading. My top five artists are Taylor, Sleeping at Last, The National, Bon Iver, and Frightened Rabbit (in no particular order).

I'm a Twitter refugee, and just trying to figure out Tumblr.

I made a Tumblr for my poetry @wearethepoemspoetry after two lines in one of my poems "we are the poems / we are writing." I post once a day. I've been writing poetry since I was five, and it's my second love after reading. I would greatly appreciate it if you would check it out.

I also made a Tumblr for my political topics -- @liberaltakes which I'll be hopefully using along with my Twitter @liberaltakes12 and my blog, Liberal Takes.

“I wanna love glitter and also stand up for the double standards that exist in our society. I wanna wear pink, and tell you how I feel about politics. I don’t think those things have to cancel each other out.” -- Taylor Swift (and me!)

I made a list of my Top 125 Taylor Songs in Order, but they change all the time -- except hoax is ALWAYS first and exile is ALWAYS second. (In actuality, they're tied.) Actually, the top five are pretty much always the top five!

Apple Music:

125 Favorite Taylor Swift Songs by Lindsay Kaye Venable on Apple Music

Playlist · 123 Songs

(It says there are 123 because some were self-uploaded.)

Spotify (I update this less because I exclusively use Apple Music):

I used my blood, sweat, and tears (and hours) for this, and I plan to do it for my other artists!!!

My bio could be stated in Taylor lyrics:

"They said all my cages were mental, so I got wasted like all my potential... I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere. I fell behind all my classmates and I ended up here."

Not so great being ahead of the curve on everything...

Anyways, that's me. Feel free to message me. I'd love to get to know you!!!

[longlivelindsay]

Wrote a Poem Based on "the 1"

So I wrote a poem based on "the 1." It's not my best work, but it was fun writing a poem based on a song. It's called "the 1 who got away."

And like always, please visit my poetry website, we are the poems.

I have A LOT to say about the Times Person of the Year, but I'm busy now... I will be back soon!

[longlivelindsay]

Sorry I Haven't Been Around!

I've been so busy working on my poetry! If you like lyrics (and if you like Taylor, you probably like lyrics!), you probably like poems, too. I hope you'll check out my poetry website, we are the poems.

I don't have a lot of stanzas I can share that make sense on their own, but this is one that I can share (that is part of a longer poem) that can stand on its own two feet!

and all your shades of blue that left me battered and bruised never stopped me from letting in the anguish, craving that sadness. maybe you thought i was a masochist, but that unbearable blue burn was all i needed from you.

— Your Scarlet Letter, Lindsay Venable

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Some reviews for my poetry...

“Your poetry brings me to tears with its brutal honesty.”

“Your endings have a lingering melancholy like the final vibrations of a cello’s last note.”

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I'd really appreciate if you visit my website, we are the poems. I post at least once a week and you can sign up for updates.

[longlivelindsay]

Taylor and Travis

So I don't get into celebrity relationships. Never have. I have never cared who she was dating or who she broke up with. I figured she just needs to live her live in peace, and since I don't know her, it's good that I don't have an opinion.

But I love Travis Kelce. Sure, I'd prefer if he was a Dallas Cowboy because they are gods amongst mere men (well, except how they play football... sorry, Dak. I'm all for getting rid of you. Romo was far better, and Aikman was the real king.)

He seems like a genuinely nice guy. And he has his own money and fame. I hate how some Swifties are like, "Oh, now his name is being thrust in the national media!" OMG, that is so not true. He has gone to the Super Bowl three times and won twice. His name has BEEN in the media. Anybody who watches football knows his name. And more Americans watch football than listen to Taylor Swift. They just may not have much crossover. (I love both, but prefer college football. Pony Up, SMU Mustangs!)

He took the initiative in their relationship, and in an interview way back, she said that's what she wanted. So that's great! We can't know what happens behind closed doors, but he seems like he treats her well. He seems protective of her, which I think is a great quality in a man. And she seems happy, which makes me happy.

I'm not saying she should marry the guy. I'm just saying that it seems like a good match for now. They'll both become very busy very soon, so it might just be a fling, but I actually have an opinion and hope they're happy.

[longlivelindsay]

AMEN!

“It’s literally impossible to be a woman.

You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow, we're always doing it wrong?

You have to be thin, but not too thin, and you can never say you wanna be thin. You have to say you wanna be healthy, but also, you have to BE THIN.

You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass.

You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean.

You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas.

You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the damn time.

You have to be a career woman, but also, always be looking out for other people.

You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is INSANE, but if you point that out, you're accused of complaining!

You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood, but ALWAYS STAND OUT and ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL. But never forget that the system is rigged, so find a way to acknowledge that but ALSO, always be grateful!

You have to never get old. Never be rude. Never show off. Never be selfish. Never fall down. Never fail. Never show fear. Never get OUT OF LINE. It's too hard! It's too contradictory, and nobody gives you a medal or says 'thank you!' And it turns out, in fact, that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also, everything is your fault.

I'm just so tired of watching myself, and every single other woman tie herself into knots, so that people will like us."

PERFECTION.

[cinnamcngirl-deactivated2024112]

Nicknames: bean

Zodiac: leo

Height: 5 4

Hogwarts house: hufflepuff

Last thing you googled: barbie dolls

Favorite music: mostly pop music

Song stuck in your head: wake up alone, amy winehouse

Following: 547

Followers: 105

Do you get asks: once in a while!

Amount of sleep: at least 7 hours i sleep a lot

What you're wearing: panties lmao

Dream job: idk 💀

Languages: english but i’m learning some blackfoot

Random fact: i have like 80 sweaters

Aesthetic: cottagecore shit yo

thank you angel @weeping-in-the-willows <3

tagging @teardropsonsmyguitar @cowboylikesubai @tswizzle1989-33 @longlivelindsay @magnificentlyy-cursed <3

[longlivelindsay]

Nicknames: Lin, Sunshine

Zodiac: Aries

Height: 5'6"

Hogwarts house: Never read or seen Harry Potter. I was just a little too old for it when it came out. Many of my friends have read it, though, and think it's great.

Last thing you googled: Sylvia Plath "Spinster" poem

Favorite music: generally indie, folksy or rock stuff

Song stuck in your head: The Modern Leper by Frightened Rabbit

Following: No clue

Followers: No clue

Do you get asks: Never, but I would like to

Amount of sleep: Like 8-10 hours. I'm old and I need more sleep.

What you're wearing: Purple bike shorts and an orange Micky Mouse t-shirt. Perfect for a day around the house

Dream job: Poet or doing political commentary

Languages: english but I'm learning Spanish

Random fact: I am so obsessed with Lilly Pulitzer

Aesthetic: Southern Prep

I'm not picking ANYONE to do this. I want ALL of the people I follow to do it.

[longlivelindsay]

SIX DAYS

Six long-ass days until 1989 TV comes out. But the real problem is the waiting to receive the vinyl.

Thank god for Apple Music, but I can't wait to hear it on vinyl.

I can't wait to hear the updates to Style and New Romantics and all of the new vault tracks!

[longlivelindsay]

Fucking hell. My parents are driving me so goddamn insane. I’ve lived in their home for five years in the prime of my life (32-37) because I’ve dealt with PTSD from an abusive ex-fiancé.

And I won’t lie — I absolutely needed it. I needed their help. And I appreciate them and I will always appreciate them for allowing me to come back and live with them when I was broken and bruised and in a place so bad that I had forgotten how to feel safe in the world anymore. Hell, sometimes I still feel that way.

Every single night, when I woke up screaming, my mom was at my side telling me he was gone and he couldn’t hurt me anymore. When I had flashbacks and my heart rate would reach 180 while I was just sitting down, they would get me my anxiety pills and sit beside me holding my hand to calm me down. They were my safe haven. They are my home. They always have been and they always will be. And I can never thank them enough for what they’ve done.

And I still have PTSD when I step into my house. Because it feels like his home, not mine. He trashed it. Broke the dishwasher, refrigerator, and AC (that has luckily been replaced), gave away all my designer belongings (except for a pair of Manolos, a Louis Vuitton tote I used to move out, and a lucky bag he didn’t know was Chanel… but also gave away my Vera Bradley for some reason?) and filled the house with trash. (I should be clear that he didn’t get rid of ANY of my Lilly Pulitzer clothes, bags, shoes, koozies, desk accessories, books, outdoor deck furniture, indoor kitchenware, or anything else I’m forgetting, because he probably knew I would murder him if I found anything missing. And I have an inventory on my computer. Am I obsessed with Lilly Pulitzer? Well, I have too many outfits to wear for the entirety of spring and summer, so you be the judge.)

And haven’t been able to clean it because I can’t go into that house because it’s not mine. It’s the place he abused me. The kitchen is the place he forced me to make him drinks (or there would be consequences) so he could get drunk, emotionally abuse me, and pass out every single night. The living room is the place he would call me horrible names, throw keys at my face, and pull me by my hair to my bedroom because he wanted the house (which is in my name only) to himself. The bedroom is where he would overpower me if I didn’t give him my benzodiazepines or stimulants and also sexually assault me. The bathroom is where I wouldn’t shower for over a month and would go a while without brushing my teeth for several periods of time so I would smell bad so he wouldn’t sexually assault me.

There are many other things he did that I’m not mentioning — mostly emotional and financial abuse, but also some physical abuse.

So you can understand why I called off my wedding on what was originally supposed to be our wedding date (and had to change because he was in rehab… and the first thing he did when I picked him up was ask me if I could go buy him alcohol) on June 2, 2018, four months after I picked him up from rehab and just left him there while I moved in with my parents. It took two months to get rid of him, but he was finally gone after he turned the air conditioning (which was a year old because he broke the one we bought several months before he moved in doing the same thing) down to 58 degrees Fahrenheit, broke it, then asked my dad to buy a new one. (My dad said “Fuck no. Move out or prepare to get really hot. I’m also going to turn off all of the electricity and the water, while I’m at it.” It took him breaking a third appliance to get him to move.)

So it’s understandable why I celebrate June 2 as my anniversary of Not Being Married. (Five years, baby!) And it’s understandable why I would move into my parents house. (Ugh. Five years, baby. Kill me now.)

I did need it at first, but now we’re all miserable. I’m not happy living here and they’re not happy with me living here. We are truly best friends. We have always been. I’m an only child and they lost babies at birth, so we’ve always understood how important our relationship is. And I really, truly, actually mean it when I say they are my best friends. I mean, I literally tell my mom everything! (There are things my dad just shouldn’t know… he can’t even handle reading my poetry that is even a little sexual!)

We’re all just unhappy with this situation and we drive each other up a wall and there’s lots of yelling sometimes. And we don’t mean for it to get like that and we still love each other when we do, but fucking hell, I just can’t deal with it anymore.

It’s time to get back in my house. I need help cleaning it. My mom said she would. And I got a new comforter set (Lilly Pulitzer!) and will probably paint my bedroom. And I got a new bed. Nothing in my bedroom (which I loved before) will be able to remind me of him.

Time to join the real world again. Time to rejoin the land of grown-ups.

(BTW, I haven’t just been paying mortgage on my house for five years. It’s been paid off since 2010.)

[longlivelindsay]

Catch Me Up!!!

So I’ve been on a road trip for a week and haven’t really had internet service. I do in this hotel in Gatlinburg and I will when I go to Nashville today. Catch me up with any Taylor news!!!

Also, what’s fun in Nashville that isn’t super touristy? Any Taylor Swift stuff?

[longlivelindsay]

Catch Me Up!!!

So I’ve been on a road trip for a week and haven’t really had internet service. I do in this hotel in Gatlinburg and I will when I go to Nashville today. Catch me up with any Taylor news!!!

Also, what’s fun in Nashville that isn’t super touristy? Any Taylor Swift stuff?

[longlivelindsay]

My Mom is the Best!!!

My mom is going to the Eras Movie with me, and I’m wearing my “WHO IS TAYLOR SWIFT ANYWAY? EW.” shirt.

So she asked me to buy her a shirt to wear, too. I’m buying her one in that style that says “IN MY SWIFTIE MOM ERA.” It makes my day that she’s going to wear it!!!

She usually wouldn't do it because she hates spending money on frivolous things, but I just thought it would be so fun and cute for us to match. I know this is probably super silly since I'm almost 40, but I'm so excited about this!!!

I LOVE MY MOM!!!!

[longlivelindsay]

BEST. COMPLIMENT. EVER.

I got the best compliment I have EVER gotten on my poetry from my mentor when he finished reading my poetry on my new poetry website, we are the poems.

“Your endings have a lingering melancholy like the final vibrations of a cello’s last note.”

OMG OMG OMG. I wanted to cry when he said one of my poems made him tear up, but this was truly amazing to hear.

I can't believe somebody said that about MY poetry.

[longlivelindsay]

Yellow or Pink

Do I want yellow or pink for 1989? I like the yellow more and I don’t have any yellow vinyl… I’ve actually never seen any yellow vinyl… but pink is my favorite color, so I feel weird not getting it.

Yellow

Pink

Voting ended onSep 14, 2023

Okay, I am REALLY digging the yellow, but pink is just the BEST color in the world. But both one of the Lover and the Lover Live From Paris records are pink... and I don't know if I'll get another chance for yellow vinyl

[longlivelindsay]

My Mentor

When I wrote poetry in high school, I had the most incredible mentor named Mr. Storey. He was the best thing to ever happen to my writing and I wouldn't be the writer I am today without him. Though one of my majors at SMU was English with a Creative Writing Specialization, my poetry writing prof hated me and my poetry, and discouraged me every step of the way. He unfortunately made me stop writing for a while because he took away my love and passion for the thing I had loved the most since I was five years old -- putting pen to paper. (Well, it started with putting crayon to paper.)

One of my other high school teachers (who also helped me with my poetry despite the fact that he wasn't my teacher, and was absolutely amazing -- and I credit him, too!) told me how to get in touch with Mr. Storey the other day and I sent him my new poetry website (we are the poems) and he actually read it! He said one of my poems brought him to tears, and that brought ME to tears. I realized it's been twenty years since a real mentor for my writing has believed in me, and it made me feel so empowered. It only made me more excited to self-publish in three years as a birthday present to myself for my 40th birthday.

As Stephen King said, “Writing is a lonely job. Having someone who believes in you makes a lot of difference. They don’t have to make speeches. Just believing is usually enough.”

[longlivelindsay]

we are the poems

I finally did it! In preparation for self-publishing my poetry for my 40th birthday, I’ve started my poetry website. I will be posting one poem a day or so.

we are the poems is the celebration of the truest love of my life for 32 years now — writing poetry. I hope you check it out!

[longlivelindsay]

EVERY FREAKING DAY, I SWEAR

This is the second hottest summer in Dallas after the summer of 1980. My parents had to paint their house that summer. EVERY DAMN DAY after the morning weather comes on the 7 AM news, my dad looks at me and says, “In 1980, we had to paint our first house. There was this one day, it had to be over 110 degrees. I’d start putting the paint…”

Tomorrow, I’m telling him the story.

[poemsonmars]

it's hard to write

when every poem starts to

feel like a suicide letter.

most days i am an

echo chamber of apologies.

i start to wonder if

there is anything else

left in me anymore.

i go to bed empty.

most nights i am

something much worse.

-mars