Nietzsche believed that youâve gotta be able to think about suicide before you can move beyond wanting to kill yourself because only once youâve accepted it as an option can you make the choice not to do it, and the alternative, to deny the urge and ignore it, would inevitably cause you to cave to the unaddressed desire you have for it.
The rogueâs gallery of psych students and junior practitioners on this hellsite have hijacked my post about not being mean to yourself to explain to people how actually what Iâm talking about is cognitive-behavioral therapy, and how it involves disciplining yourself to never talk negatively about yourself and how itâs important to check with a therapist that youâre doing it correctly, and like, this is why I donât trust and canât stand these people.
Being your own friend is a holistic process, there arenât exercises you can do or therapy methods you can apply, which is why most people relapse almost immediately after stopping CBT or DBT, because they havenât actually made any progress in how they look out for themselves, they were merely thrust into a disciplinary regimen where they are taught to engage in habits which their therapist then holds them accountable to, and so, without that therapist, they fall apart again.
Not being mean to yourself doesnât mean censoring self-deprecating humor, it doesnât mean snapping a rubber band on your wrist when you have a negative thought, it means taking time to sit down and think about yourself as if you were another person, to really take stock of who you are from as objective a perspective as you can muster, and if you really want to grow, realizing that this person you see canât grow if the person closest to them, which is you, spends all their time berating them and making them feel like shit.
Being friends with yourself is not a series of therapeutic exercises, itâs challenging yourself to evaluate why youâre a dick to yourself in a way you arenât to other people, or maybe you are a dick to other people, and maybe you want to be a dick to yourself, which is goofy as fuck, but if youâre still suffering, maybe ask yourself why the fuck you want to be such a dick, the answers may surprise you.
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