You know, life is full of surprises. Everyone goes about their daily lives doing pretty much their own thing. You go to school, work, play, and whatever is in between. But is that really how you want the rest of your life to be? What do you want to strive out and become as you grow and mature? Those thoughts never hit me until I was pretty much a few years in college. After graduating high school, I thought life was going to still be just as simple. Go to school, get my degree, then I can be on with my life. I didn't assume there were going to be any obstacles that would change my route on where I would end up. I wanted to be a teacher. Let me rephrase, I still want to be a teacher, but it's not going as smoothly as I had planned it in my head. Sure, I have regrets, but I can't say I'm doing to bad. It's just.. Is this really what I want to be in the future? I stopped school, my hobbies, and other things while ending up working at Boeing. I just started, but I'm scared that I will end up too comfortable with my job and not going out trying to become something else. Trying to manage my time with a full time job, I envy many that do it. Hard work and dedication is usually the same old motto that everyone uses when it comes to striving and getting where they want to be. Maybe this whole amount of typing is just all that I meant, but for some reason, I feel like it's just easier said then done. Do I just have to really want it? I simple yes may just be the answer, but it doesn't seem so believable in my eyes. Being a teacher is in my interest, but it's not what I want at the moment. I've grown to love watching people act, and I've been telling myself that I want to become an actor. Being in front of a camera, having people feel emotion from what I express, that's something I want. Though I do believe this was poorly written, I hope whoever reads this gets the jist of what I'm saying. After seeing both my grandparents pass recently, hearing they lived fulfilling lives, I asked myself, "If I keep doing what I'm doing now, will I also feel fulfilled?" I know for damn sure, that answer is no. You could say I have a lot of time. I mean, hey, I'm only 21, but who knows what can happen with all these seconds turning to minutes, minutes to hours, hours to days, and eventually years will have passed. The future, and what I'll end up doing, scares me. The internet, and researching, can only do so much. But where can I start to get even a step through the door of where I want to be in the future?
Again, this is probably the worst thing I've written. My thoughts feel like they are all over the place. Usually, I wouldn't post something like this because nobody needs to know about my life, thoughts, problems, or anything about me. But for some reason, I just had to get it out. If you read this, I just hope you don't think I'm an idiot. But I guess opinions are something I'm not in control of.
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