breaking the loop

My name is Kevin Huynh and who I am isn't very important. I write because I must and for no other purpose.

[loopgain-blog]

peace-ing it together

I think I should look into Buddhism and the way of Zen sometime. I think I would find much peace there. I've been struggling with the concept of possession lately. I picked up an interesting thought that put my mind at ease, for now: Nothing is permanent; therefore, nothing can be owned. Everything must pass in due time. This helps me differentiate between "my" love and "my love." One is possessive, the other is endearment, and knowing that what it refers to is merely an object of my affection, not belonging to me. I'm glad I've found some peace before bed tonight. I wish everyone find their little piece of peace, too.

[loopgain-blog]

crossing the desert

For the past week and a half, I've refrained from eating out. Money's been tight lately and I also want to be eating better. The first few days, I felt tired and lethargic. I chalked it up to a drastic diet shift, and since I no longer have any responsibilities until school starts, I've spent most of my time at home. As time went on, I realized none of this really had anything to do with my diet. It's been far longer than a few days, and I'm just not happy. I'm not unhappy or sad, but just going day to day in a sort of... saddening dullness. It's the same as before, and it's because I haven't any meaning in life. I recognize this feeling, or state, rather, and it's something I've been trying to overcome. My quarter life crisis. And silly as it may sound, eating out was something I did for fun! I don't really eat all that much. And it's not the food, either, because I'm not picky about how well something is prepared. I just like going out to eat. It just makes me happy. I like the experience of going out to eat, of finding something that suits my palette and craving, of sitting in a restaurant and just enjoying myself. Eating out was something I enjoyed slowly, never rushed, and always comfortably. The entire experience of eating out is meaningful to me. Now I can't. Before, I shouldn't, but now I can't. It's an artificial sort of restriction, but I honestly don't want to be spending any more money, and I shouldn't be eating out so much. Least of all, I don't want my last remaining pillar of happiness to be about... food. It's a crutch that'll kill me, really. I feel like I'm finally reduced to nothing. I still feel wants but those things will pass. They are unhealthy wants and not something I wish to have. I deconstructed myself so that I may reconstruct myself in a better way. It feels like losing everything about myself and who I am. For some reason, it makes me want to cry. I think I miss the days where things made sense, however irrational they were. I hate being aware, I hate the burden of knowing; I truly hate it. But, I haven't allowed myself to give up. I might never. I'm resilient to a fault. Stubborn. I'll keep going even if I have nowhere to go.

[loopgain-blog]

chả giò

Quite a few people have asked me what chả giò is. The best I could manage was a type of Vietnamese spam -- it's pork stuff with some other things. Who knows. I ate it all the time as a kid and, well, you don't really question what you were given. Since I'm not a kid anymore (utter lies), I asked my mom recently what the heck was in it. I was surprised to find that chả giò, like all meats, was pretty expensive to buy back in the day. Not only that, it isn't just a mixture of crappy meats -- it used quality cuts from a pig! Around the time of the Vietnam war, meat was an expensive item. You rarely bought meat and mostly ate vegetables. It wasn't often that people could afford meat at all, much less good cuts of meat like Americans prize in the US. You would buy chả giò by weight, often not much, whereas in the states you'd probably buy two or three whole rolls at a time. As some of you might know, ground pork or sausage is made from leftover bits, so it's a little backwards when you think about it. Vietnamese spam is superior ham!

[loopgain-blog]

push-pull configurations

I feel like there are some common sayings that just contradict one another. For example, "opposites attract" and "like minds attract." I think most people like to talk about these the most when referring to dating. I can imagine people quipping one or the other depending on what someone exclaimed to them regarding their newfound date, not considering that, perhaps, they are seemingly mutually exclusive. Or perhaps it's understood as such? Because I do not think they are mutually exclusive, and actually coexist as a matter of fact. What isn't so obvious to me was in what sphere do these rules seem to reside. In regards to relationships, I feel that there are internal and external spheres. There are things that we are, that we project outward, and things that we lack, or want to receive inwardly. Inside our world lies all of our insecurities and wants, while outside are all the things we have and enjoy displaying. We are attracted to things that complement us outwardly. Here, we see that the outer expression of another person as being abundant in what we do not have ourselves. For someone working in a technical field, they may desire someone who works in a non-technical field. They do not desire someone similar to them in that sense. We want to complement what we are not ourselves abundant in. Yet, there are often clashes in personalities between two disparate individuals. While we yearn for someone who has in abundance what we do not, we also wish to be treated in a way that is most comfortable to us. Therein lies the existence of similar attraction, where people wish to be treated in the way that they treat others. Those who are social require interaction, and those who tire quickly need someone capable of giving them space. These two desires surface in a variety of ways and are unique f the individuals involved. It is not impossible for two outwardly similar individuals to attract, but I do believe the basic mechanism of desire, attraction, and want is governed by these two push-pull actions. And surely, the existence of bad relations are those in which needs are not met, and might be given some light based on the above. Anyway, just a thought on one of the many intricacies of human interaction and relations.

[loopgain-blog]

I feel like this article explains very eloquently my thoughts on monogamy versus polyamory (which is that everyone has different needs and wants).

[loopgain-blog]

Here's a list of food additives you commonly find in things. All of these have been approved by the FDA, so unless you think the FDA is full of it, you shouldn't have too much to worry about.

I prefer to make my own food from raw ingredients whenever possible, and also try to use fresh ingredients, so I tend to avoid processed food. The drawback is that my turn around for groceries is often a few days to a week, but I find it helps me control budgeting and other things.

Just make whatever works work for you!

[loopgain-blog]

grasfed

Currently, I'm scouring the FDA website for things that may or may not be safe to eat, including the EPA (regarding tap water and pesticides) and the USDA (for traditional meats and poultry). I'm going to place them under the #grasfed tag (Generally Recognized as Safe).

Any and all sources are most likely going to come from their respective websites, so I'll include the #sources tag, but if you have any concerns you should probably do your own research.

Benzene, a carcinogen, has reportedly been found in small amounts in soda. The FDA states that in sodas where both ascorbic acid and benzoate preservatives were present, benzene formation could occur. Nevertheless, studies by the FDA in 1993 and by other private laboratories reported concentrations in most sodas of less than 5ppb, the EPA maximum contaminant level (MCL), and represent little to no threat.

MSG is GRAS; however, FDA reports that a study by the Federation of American Societies for Experimental Biology (FASEB) in the 1990s identified some "short-term, transient, and generally mild symptoms such as headache, numbness, flushing, tingling, palpitations, and drowsiness in some sensitive individuals who consume 3g or more of MSG without food." It is unlikely to consume that much in one sitting without food, so take it with a grain of salt (heh). Interesting fact, MSG also occurs naturally in tomatoes!

San Diego's water quality reports from 2010 to 2012 have indicated that tap water is pretty safe to drink, meeting state and federal standards.

The EPA sets limits on pesticide residue on food, and they are generally well within tolerance by the time they reach the grocery store. We have a national pesticide information center in Oregon, and they have some tips for further reducing pesticide residue, as well as dirt and bacteria, from produce if you decide you need that extra peace of mind: http://npic.orst.edu/health/foodprac.html

A tangent, but apparently from the FSIS... "SODIUM ERYTHORBATE - is the sodium salt of erythorbic acid, a highly refined food-grade chemical closely related to vitamin C, synthesized from sugar, and used as a color fixative in preparing cured meats. (Note: Erythorbate is NOT earthworms. Perhaps the spelling or pronunciation has contributed to this misconception because the Hotline receives many calls related to this concern.)" From a list of commonly added food additives: http://www.fsis.usda.gov/wps/portal/fsis/topics/food-safety-education/get-answers/food-safety-fact-sheets/food-labeling/additives-in-meat-and-poultry-products/additives-in-meat-and-poultry-products

Ralphs down here in San Diego is the same as Food 4 Less. They are also a COOL licensee, meaning they label where their meat comes from (if it's packaged), and the USDA FSIS, APHIS, FDA, and CBP all work to ensure imported meat meets the same standards at that in the US. 99 Ranch is also a COOL licensee.

Here are some terms to be aware of, courtesy of the USDA:

Certified: the USDA FSIS and AMS have officially evaluated it for class, grade, or other quality

Chemical free: not allowed to be used as a label

Free range: producers must demonstrate that the poultry has been allowed access to the outside

Natural: a product containing no artificial ingredients or added color and is only minimally processed; does not mean raw single ingredient meat or poultry!

No hormones: not allowed to be used in hogs or poultry, so pork and poultry are always hormone free; may be used on beef if producers demonstrate no hormones have been used in raising the animals

No antibiotics: may be used for meat and poultry if producers demonstrate animals were raised without antibiotics

Organic: "100% organic" for... 100% organic; "organic" contains at least 95% organic ingredients; look for the seal (none of this counts added water or salt)

It should be noted that the USDA makes no claims that organic food is healthier for you (and in some cases, might even be worse owing to a lack of preservatives). Nevertheless, organic practices help promote sustainability, which is a plus if you're into that kind of thing.

[loopgain-blog]

I think... instead of stating what I believe, I usually ask other people what they think, and then express my beliefs by exposing what I see as holes in their ideas. I'm not sure where I've learned to do this. Probably the Internet, where people freely post their ideas awaiting commentary. IRL, it doesn't happen that way, and I guess prompting people makes them feel like I'm asking them their thoughts, and then attacking them, instead of trying to promote a discussion because I never mention my beliefs. Go figure.

[loopgain-blog]

Just realized the discussion of consciousness is mostly philosophical. Sigh. I suppose it was inevitable I'd end up here. Time to dive in.

[loopgain-blog]

Entropy as the driving force for human consciousness

I like to think that human consciousness is nothing more than a state of being. That everything that makes us "human" is simply a result of having existed for a period of time. More colloquially, I like to think that humans are soulless.

In my opinion, consciousness is simply the awareness of our brain and body in action. It is a feedback mechanism that allows us introspect and take note in order to adapt. And who we are arose because we were born with a specific set of predispositions, genetic in nature, which we then used to shape our experiences, and then those experiences shaped those after, etc.

Firstly, consciousness is not a trait; it is a spectrum of the capacity for self awareness. It is not a human trait, either; an ant exhibits nearly no self awareness, yet is orders of magnitudes higher than a hydrogen atom, but also orders below an ant colony, which resides still orders below a single human.

Secondly, I hypothesize that humans act and exist in the most probabilistic states. With so many complex neural mechanisms and heuristics, it is difficult to predict which states any given human might exist in. The question of morality, then, is always a matter of circumstances.

The arrow of time and entropy. These are things that drive human consciousness in terms of who we are. The disorder of a system is not about its internal configuration -- it is about the possible configurations it may exist in without disrupting itself. As time progresses, humans may exist in a myriad of conscious states and not lose themselves. Essential to consciousness are experiences and the arrow of time, driven directly by statistically likelihoods of actions and responses. And behind it all is entropy.

There is much to think about, still, and much research to sift through.

[loopgain-blog]

sources of handwashing

I like to understand why I do things. It's more meaningful to me and more likely to induce habit formation. Invariably I do a few Google searches, substantiate some claims, and move on. Life's too short for much more than that.

Nevertheless, there's something to be said about keeping a public record of my thoughts and findings, lest I come across as handwavy.

First order of business: washing one's hands.

Why do I care about this? Since the beginning of the year, I've actually stopped using soap and shampoo while showering. It started out as an experiment with no particular goals or expectations -- just curiosity. I've since been interested in what people put in things and why, eventually leading to the question before us. Is there a point to washing hands (with soap)?

My thoughts on the matter are... you should definitely wash scrub your hands, if only just water, for at least 10 seconds [1]. Should you additionally wash with soap or even antibacterial soap? When talking about antibacterial soap, we're really talking about triclosan, and the difference between regular and antibacterial soap does not seem statistically significant [2]. Recently, the FDA has put out a consumer update regarding these soaps and have mentioned they might do more harm than good, though be advised it hasn't been conclusively stated.

Handwashing studies mostly test for bacteria that cause diarrhea and respiratory infections. It seems that, in general, you can reduce down to 50% of bacteria simply through the mechanical act of scrubbing properly [1]. I think many of you might find this offensive, but consider that proper scrubbing takes around 10-20 seconds and ask yourself if you even do as much. Soap helps further reduce down to 16%.

There's a bacterial ecosystem to the hands (and our bodies) that I'm interested in learning more about, and the use of chemicals that disrupt that are, I think, a point of valid concern. Nevertheless, it is important to properly disinfect in order to prevent the spread of diseases.

Alcohol based hand sanitizers (ABHS) are actually the most effective in reducing the most common bacteria of concern to us, even in the presence of dirt and oil [3], so if your concern is with bacteria itself then I would recommend you switch over. Still, understand that you should adhere to proper handrubbing techniques.

If I had dirt or oil on my hands, I'd probably want to wash them off instead of using waterless ABHS, but I understand that it's mostly for my own feeling of comfort than safety. Sort of like washing your meat (not advised).

tl;dr proper handwashing helps, soap helps more, ABHS helps a lot

also life scientists seem to have more humor than electrical engineers [4]

Sources:

[1] Burton M, Cobb E, Donachie P, Judah G, Curtis V, Schmidt W-P. The effect of handwashing with water or soap on bacterial contamination of hands. Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2011;8:97–104.

[2] Luby SP, Agboatwalla M, Feikin DR, Painter J, Billhimer W, Altaf A, Hoekstra RM. Effect of handwashing on child health: A randomised controlled trial. Lancet. 2005;366:225–233.

[3] Pickering AJ, et al.  Efficacy of alcohol-based hand sanitizer on hands soiled with dirt and cooking oil. J Water Health. 2011;9:429–433

[4] Weaver JM. "The increasing use of alcohol-based hand sanitizers.." Anesthesia Progress. Vol. 52, no. 3. (September 2005.): 85-.

[loopgain-blog]

Watched myself die last night. Then entered a time paradox because it was me in the past, and I ceased to exist. It was not pleasant.

But at least very interesting.

[loopgain-blog]

On one of my many forefronts of “independent living” is the rise of processed food. Or rather, the nature of processed food.

If any of you have ever had the unfortunate pleasure of me cooking for you recently, you’ll know that I tend to avoid the use of processed food. This is as much a protest of big corporations and “chemicals in mah food” as wanting to know what I put in my body. I might not ever really know what’s in a piece of steak but one can make sure it’s not paste flavored like chicken.

And there may not be anything wrong with paste, particularly if it’s nutritious. I’ve been waiting years for meat flavored vegetables, but the vibe I’m getting, and the question in my mind is, are processed for companies out there to make me delicious food that isn’t bad for me, or are they just trying to turn a profit?

I’m actually more inclined to eat MREs than consumer based processed food because at least one of the two was designed to keep me alive for a little bit longer.

But honestly I’m not a chemist. The only chemistry I got pass was orbital mechanics and other pchem stuff. I STILL do not know how to balance redox equations. I’m hopeless with ochem.

So I’ll have to rely on someone more knowledgeable than me. Probably a team of experts. PROBABLY THE USDA. WAIT A MINUTE.

I feel like there’s a lot of concern over the transparency of an organization. How do we know the USDA isn’t corrupt? Science is instrumental, but it’s only larger corporations who can afford the money for research, right? Well, who knows. Maybe I’m grossly wrong. Because no one ever bothered to explain how something like the USDA works.

In an age where information is plenty, the problem is finding what you need without ignoring the opposite side. I think it’s easy to make wild allegations about the USDA bring corrupt, or the science being unbiased, but until I sit down and do the research myself, I suppose I’ll never really know.

And it bothers me. All my life, anything and everything, has always been about the singular question:

How?

[loopgain-blog]

Probably the third ever museum I've visited in my entire life just happens to be the r/MuseumofReddit.

[loopgain-blog]

i have you now...

Sometimes, when I feel like I'm missing a lot of great experiences and my life is a little less complete because of it...

...I just go to sleep. Because I have the weirdest fucking dreams and I doubt LSD can do anything better (or worse).

I had two dreams last night. I don't feel like I can describe any of them well enough, since I feel more than I see or think, but I'll try one of 'em.

I was onboard some kind of space ship. Like I was some kind of space marine, yet it was distinctly non-threatening. I felt like a somber observer, following others around, watching them secure this small command room with layered metal walls on all side, not unlike the Death Star turned inside out and mapped into a cube room.

This command room had the Emperor in it... I don't know, I guess he was the Emperor of the Galaxy or something. He was pretty resigned to the fact that we boarded his ship and commandeered it, like he knew it was coming. I wonder if he knew it was coming. Because I knew it was coming. A giant thermonuclear warhead. It was installed into the command room. It had to be. Because reasons. And I had to stay there. And my roommates. The three of us, not because we needed to guard it or see it through, but because WE needed to be there or it will not detonate. Along with some others. Because.

And then one of my roommates disappeared. Because. And we were some sad unfortunate souls but very selfless for volunteering. Had I really volunteered for this? At that moment, I didn't care. The detonation sequence had already started.

3... 2... 1...

And then it went off. No sounds, no pain. Just the dilation of time. But that's how I always imagined a quick death to be. I was happy. I was finally experiencing death and being aware of it. It was a death of my own choosing. It's hard to describe here, but this is what I wanted to share. In that moment, I knew I was going to die, and I wasn't afraid or scared. I was glad. I was at peace. Slowly, I could feel a slight tingle on my skin. Oh, I thought, well, there must be some pain. Just a little. And then I'll be dead... vaporized, and none the wiser. I waited. Time ticked by. The heat began to rise, and became a little uncomfortable. The bright red light of metal heating around us was suffocating.

But then it all left as quickly as it came. Time resumed. What had happened, I thought. Everyone is still alive, and so am I. The Emperor is dead, I guess. But we had been deceived. Where was our death? It was not, as I had been led to believe, a thermonuclear warhead, but an enhanced radiation weapon, like a neutron bomb. Its only purpose was to release high energy particles, poisoning us all with radiation. The warm glow I felt earlier was not some afterthought -- it was the radiation.

I looked at my remaining roommate and we both knew. We were not dead, and yet we were already dead. Fear began to slowly pool in the back of my mind. A mild panic. I've had those before. When you oversleep on some important deadlines. That feeling.

I didn't know what to do. I guess I woke up, still feeling the lingering heat on my skin.

[loopgain-blog]

manifest

I feel like there's been a minority movement in the face of advancing technology to return to a "natural" state of living. There's a lot of people advocating against the use of technology. Things like, organic food or non GMO. Some things are silly, like the anti vaccination crowd. And some things aren't. But where does it all stem from? Is it a fear of technology? That seems like an obvious answer, but what about those who wish to live off the grid? There's a growing need to diy, to get intimate with everything. For some, the less layers between them and the things in their life, the better. It's not a fear of technology per se. I think it might be the desire for true freedom. To be independent. To be in control of one's own destiny.

[startalkradio]

The Hackers Who Recovered NASA’s Lost Lunar Photos

Sitting incongruously among the hangars and laboratories of NASA’s Ames Research Center in Silicon Valley is the squat facade of an old McDonald’s. You won’t get a burger there, though–its cash registers and soft-serve machines have given way to old tape drives and modern computers run by a rogue team of hacker engineers who’ve rechristened the place McMoon’s. These self-described techno-archaeologists have been on a mission to recover and digitize forgotten photos taken in the ‘60s by a quintet of scuttled lunar satellites.

The Lunar Orbiter Image Recovery Project has since 2007 brought some 2,000 pictures back from 1,500 analog data tapes. They contain the first high-resolution photographs ever taken from behind the lunar horizon, including the first photo of an earthrise (first slide above). Thanks to the technical savvy and DIY engineering of the team at LOIRP, it’s being seen at a higher resolution than was ever previously possible. (source)

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This is fantastic.