Bring me home in a blinding dream

current M!A: none [ independent rp blog for Remus J. Lupin from the Harry Potter series. his default age is 25 (post-first wizarding war), but may be older or younger depending on the thread. will play with characters from any fandom. tracking: loopthelupin ]

[loopthelupin]

|| scorpius & remus

[xvscorpiusmalfoyvx]

Scorpius had asked to try and figure out what time period he might be in, without simply asking ‘what year is it’ which would certainly arouse suspicion. So, his grandfather would have been a few years older than this man. His father might not be born yet, or would be at least very young. He was probably somewhere in the 1980’s.

“Er…I’ve heard their names, and I was curious,” Scorpius said quietly. He sat down on a chair, nervously playing with the ends of his hair. He was sure Remus could see right through him by now, as nervous as he was acting. Finally Scorpius took a deep breath, let it out in a large sigh, and pulled the time turner out of his sweater. He placed it on a small end table. “Alright. I’m a Malfoy. It looks like my time turner is broken, but I don’t care. I’m not going back.”

Scorpius traced the outside edge of the time turner with  one long and slender finger, and then he looked up at Remus.

“You’re not going to report me, are you?”

[loopthelupin]

"A time-" Remus stared at the device warily and pushed his greying hair back from his face. From its name and appearance, it wasn't difficult to guess how the thing functioned, and how it had evidently malfunctioned. Time travel wasn't a topic most professors had cared to dwell on in school. Binns had been content to hint that throughout history many a witch and wizard had dabbled in it, though their endeavours had ended in calamity or failure. The device was either recently perfected if Scorpius was indeed from the future, or one of the wizarding world's best kept secrets.

"I won't report you," he assured Scorpius, "You seem like a good kid, you know? I believe you. You're safe, unless you happen to have committed a crime of the gruesome murder sort." A tired smile crossed his features and he leaned against the wall, taking in the strangeness of the situation. Already, he had to resist the urge to ask the dozens of questions that were already on the tip of his tongue. 

"So, uh, which time are you from? Have they perfected self-cleaning cauldrons and such yet?" It seemed reasonable to assume that Scorpius was from the future rather than the past.

[yourgreasygit]

Saint Mungos || Severus & Remus

[yourgreasygit]

Snape gazed at the darkness of the windows staring back at him. Lupin’s words hardly touched him. The windows seemed more like mirrors, reflecting the darkness that was in Snape—not evil darkness, but an emotional sort of darkness that had poured in one day like thick clouds blotting out the sun. It was a blackness that had never left. Even now, after near death, after completing his task Lily’s love and memory, not even the corners of the darkness peeled back.

It was strange to be alive. Severus couldn’t even say that he was really thankful for it—after all, what was the meaning of his life now? If his magic did not recover, then he was to become the thing he had always feared the most: useless.

“Better,” Snape said of the windows, and did not say another word as he moved past Lupin, and back to the lift, where he impatiently jabbed at the button.

[loopthelupin]

He heaved a small sigh as he followed the dark-haired man back towards the lift. The various aches were starting to take their toll again and he surreptitiously adjusted his splinted arm in its sling. The skele-gro would probably never agree with the wolfish blood, taking its time to do it's work and feeling like a tree taking root beneath his skin.

"I wonder if they've made bets on us," he mused aloud and spared a half-hearted laugh for his own cynical thought. "Which one makes a complete recovery first: the snakebite case or the werewolf with a monthly self-injury mechanism?"

[mischiefinasgard-deactivated201]

loopthelupin started following you

[mischiefinasgard-deactivated201]

Loki laughed. “Oh, you’re never too old for mischief, believe me.” 

“Yes, yes, there are.” He nodded. “Well, not entirely empty, of course, but I suppose the death of a few ants will not trouble you.” He gave Remus a small smile. “They’re far enough from civilisation for people to suffer any harm. Deserts, jungles, forests…” 

[loopthelupin]

Remus chuckled softly. "I'm really coming off as a bumpkin, aren't I? I haven't travelled much. I read a lot, but friends of mine used to hit me over the head with them and tell me to get out more. So, say I wanted to get to one of those deserted lands... would you be able to uh, guide me there?" He looked uncertain, as the request suddenly seemed a little too direct.

[guaranteedinnovation]

Sunday || q & remus

[guaranteedinnovation]

To be fair, Q’s apartment was only neat because he spent very little time in it. The bits he used most, like the kitchen and the bedroom, were as much a mess as any wizarding household.

Q frowned, walking over and picking up the cat. “I’m so sorry; he’s usually fine with people. I don’t know what’s gotten to him.” Edgar, curled in Q’s arms, ceased his hissing, but slitted green eyes didn’t let Remus out of their sight. He was the boss here, thank-you-very-much, and he’d have the other know it.

“Erm, anyway, would you like a cuppa?” the tech tried, offering a half-grin. “What flavor would you like?

[loopthelupin]

Remus smiled uncertainly at the wary feline in Ted's arms. "Right, tea," he muttered, moving himself a step further from the cat, a little regretful that it meant distancing himself from a friend as well.

"That would be very nice. I'll, uh, have English Breakfast or Earl Grey without milk or sugar, please. I'm partial to most black teas, 'm not fussy, really."

[yourgreasygit]

Saint Mungos || Severus & Remus

[yourgreasygit]

Severus shook his head slightly.

“It is simply an illusion. I would prefer to look out a window and see reality, grim as it may be. I am tired of dealing with and in deceit, and illusions.”

Severus looked at the rolling green hills with the daisies, and other scenes.

“If illusions comfort you, then look your fill.”

Severus moved over to one of the windows, further down from Remus, and pressed his hand to it. He wanted to break the charm and just look outside to the normal world. Normalcy; even it was drab, or not daisy-filled, was better in Snape’s mind. He tried to use his magic to break the charm, and the image on his window—which was a pasture with brown grazing cattle—flickered a few times, but remained. His magic was weak from the bite, and that bothered him more than anything else. The Healers had told him that he might not ever fully recover physically or magically from the severity of his injuries.

He had the urge to break the window Muggle style, with a fist through it, but he restrained himself and simply moved closer to Lupin, needing something or someone to vent his frustrations upon.

“Enjoying the lake? Does it bring back fond memories?”

[loopthelupin]

"I am entitled to indulge in whatever I choose," said Remus genially. "Even if they are indeed memories, which are but another form of illusion. Thankfully, I am not foolish enough to deceive myself by dwelling in the past any longer than I require to gain comfort from it."

He walked on, no longer feeling the desire to look upon false scenery. Though he would not admit it, at least not now, the other man was right. Wordlessly and wandlessly, he attempted a simple spell to obscure the charmed windows completely rather than break the charm. They went dark. He hoped Snape was pleased.

Illusions, and memories, were indeed painful when one had the wisdom to differentiate them from reality. He'd once found himself the keeper of a man who'd tried to re-live his youth, and had remained stubborn and boyish until the moment of his death. Truly, the ignorant would remain blissful, while knowledge was at times the heaviest of burdens. 

"The lake..." he murmured, then let out a small snort. "If I am not mistaken, our only shared memory of Hogwart's most idyllic spot is one which neither of us will recall fondly." Of all things to bring up now, but he was almost sure that Snape had been baiting him to mention it.

The incident had haunted him for a while. He'd clung so adamantly to what had then been his idea of loyalty, and it was only after describing the incident to Marlene that she'd called him out on his cowardice. Though he'd known all along, he'd continued to hide behind excuses, waiting for someone else's efforts to finally be able to admit it to himself. He couldn't imagine what it must have been like from Snape's point of view. They had never discussed it, as though Snape's very presence was a warning never to bring it up. Twice, he'd brought fear and misery into a fellow student's life by doing nothing at all. The first time, he'd been an unwitting pawn in someone else's spiteful idea of a joke, and the second, he'd wilfully averted his gaze.  

In most cases, time was a balm that soothed the hurt. But some things would never completely fade and continue to affect one's psyche, like the proverbial thorn in one's side. Remus often wondered if Snape had ever held a particular grudge against him; if he did, he never appeared to showed it, reserving his most stinging barbs for Sirius and James. Snape had gotten him removed from his post as a professor, but Remus had known that the stint would be a short-lived one from the start. He'd allowed sentimentality to rule his head and paid for it. 

[loopthelupin]

|| scorpius & remus

[xvscorpiusmalfoyvx]

“My best mate…lives…somewhere else,” Scorpius said very quietly, feeling a dull ache in his chest and wormy feeling squirm sickly in his stomach. His eyes stung and he blinked rapidly, focusing on the rest of what Remus was saying.

“Alright then, suppose I’ll stay with you,” Scorpius said, a bit glumly. He kicked at a stone which went skittering ahead of them. “Thank you, I do appreciate it.”

He followed Remus to his home, and stopped before entering to take his muddy shoes off since he had no wand to cast a cleaning charm.

“I was wondering…” Scorpius said slowly. “Do you know anyone by the name of Malfoy…or Potter?”

He added Potter in because he was a bit curious, but mostly because asking specifically about one family might seem odd, especially when anyone who knew of the Malfoys might well recognize his relation to them via the typical inheritance of build, pale coloring, and usually attitude. Scorpius liked to think he wasn’t as stuck up as his mother and father came off to be, but he knew that true to his father’s personality, he did mirror the tendency towards being melodramatic.

[loopthelupin]

"Potter?" Remus said sharply. He shrugged off his coat and tossed it over a chair in the narrow hallway. Potter -- a name that had so recently been on the lips of every person in the wizarding world. The four years since the downfall of Voldemort seemed like yesterday, the pain of losing practically everyone he'd known still a fresh wound. Of course he knew the Potters, and the Malfoys too. The latter, he could not be bothered with; the family that had managed to get a blind eye turned in their direction despite their obvious involvement with the dark lord's side. Money, and lies, had probably been involved. Either way the Malfoys were now considered respectable. Strange, however, that the name had been brought up in connection with the Potters, as there'd been no more connection between them than any other family who'd found themselves on opposing sides during the war. 

He realized that he hadn't spoken for a moment, lost in thought. The longer he'd gone without steady employment, the more he found himself getting lost in his own head. "I'm sorry. If you mean The Potters, then yes, I knew them personally. I went to school with them. There was a Malfoy at school too--Lucius--but he'd just graduated when I was in my first or second year, I believe. Why do you ask?"

There was something about Scorpius' looks that had seemed familiar to Remus, but even the young man's seemingly innocent question made it difficult to associate him with that last name. Aside from some very superficial similarities, the house of Malfoy would likely crumble to dust before allowing one of their number to run free looking like this. But then again, a runaway... Perhaps this was a wayward cousin that was never mentioned, much like Sirius--a pang of loneliness and hatred twisted in his chest at the memory of the traitor--after he'd been disowned. The series of connected thoughts coursed through his mind rapidly, half-formed, yet vivid.

[guaranteedinnovation]

Sunday || q & remus

[guaranteedinnovation]

Ted’s cat, however, was not quite so timid as Remus hoped. Edgar Allan Poe was the sort of cat who owned the house (or flat), and didn’t mind showing it. Most of the time, he did own the flat - while the Quartermaster was away at work each day, it slept where it pleased, did what it pleased, and had full reign of the house. His meals were dispensed at regular intervals from an automatic, timed dispenser that Ted had upgraded himself. The cat, Edgar Allan Poe, was quite self-sufficient, and Q did nothing to hamper its impression.

It would be quite the confrontation.

“Oh- Excuse me, I’m so sorry,” Ted said, realizing he hadn’t considered Remus’ norms. “I generally take the stairs because I like to stay healthy. The elevator is quite operational, not to worry.” He pulled out a keycard, swiping it along the door’s slot. Although it looked like any other keycard slot, the Quartermaster had enhanced his security. Woe betide anyone who tried to gain entrance to his flat. In any case, the door clicked open, and Ted pushed it in to reveal a small, clean flat.

[loopthelupin]

"It looks cozy," said Remus, a smile upon his face as he stepped inside. He wasn't sure what he'd been expecting, truth be told. Most wizarding homes (at least the ones he'd been in) tended towards the endearingly haphazard sort of unpretentious--alright, mess. Summoning spells and the basic household-y charms had made their kind a little more than complacent.  

A faint hissing sound caught his attention. It sounded like pressurized steam being released from a narrow spout. Looking around, he spotted the source of the noise--one very angry cat. As he locked eyes with it, the hissing turned into an aggressive yowl of warning. "I've never been great with animals," he said in a deadpan voice, nervously interlacing his fingers. His knuckles were already starting to turn white. "I think they may be allergic to me," he joked.

[loopthelupin]

ooc

I am just so, so sorry for disappearing but work just got crazy at the beginning of the month and before I knew it time just *poof* :/ I had no intentions of going so long without even logging in here but I hope you’ll all forgive me and for what it’s worth I’ll be doing my best to catch up to replies. I only hope it isn’t too late because I really enjoy rp’ing with every one of you.

[loopthelupin]

|| scorpius & remus

[xvscorpiusmalfoyvx]

“I suppose my destination would logically be an inn or some place to stay for the night. I…I don’t believe I know anyone who would take me in,” Though Scorpius still didn’t know the time period, he chose to go with this answer. He did not want to just ask Remus the year. The man seemed nice enough but Scorpius was not ready to trust him with something so vital as the knowledge that Scorpius was time traveler via his time turner. This man might escort him directly to The Ministry, and they’d make him go home. There was no reason Remus should know this.

Tomorrow Scorpius would buy a copy of the Daily Prophet, and his answer as to the time period would be found there.

[loopthelupin]

He quirked an eyebrow in surprise, but did not say anything. Though it never made sense to make such assumptions, it was a bad habit of his to assume right away that most people were in much better circumstances than he was. "What about your best mate?" Then, he sighed. "I could... offer you board for the night if you truly have nowhere to go. The inns are overflowing this time of year. If you would pay to stay in a shady room off Knockturn alley, I would feel safer knowing that you were in my company instead."

[yourgreasygit]

Saint Mungos || Severus & Remus

[yourgreasygit]

“Fetching, indeed,” Snape snorted, as he headed into the lift with Lupin. “I pride myself on my ability to pass easily as a beautiful woman,” Snape deadpanned.

Perhaps his throat had not come out of his near-death experience intact, but his sarcasm and unique type of humor had not been shredded.

The lift took them upwards, and when the doors opened, they stepped past a few mediwizards and younger witches and wizards wearing trainee badges. Across the hall were large windows that looked out upon various artificial scenery. Snape stopped in front of the windows, crossed his arms over his chest, and stared at the windows looking broody, and even a little cross. It wasn’t due to Lupin’s words or company, but due to the fact that he hated the windows.

[loopthelupin]

His eyes lit up to see rolling green hills and a field of daisies at the foot of a great mountain that was tipped with snow. A pity, and also a blessing that they were separated from it by glass. Remus took a deep breath, wishing that these were windows that could be thrown wide open to allow the crisp, fresh air in. And this was only the first panel; the next showed a scene of a lake which might have reminded him of the one on Hogwarts grounds, if not for the lack of the castle and its great shadow looming over it. And so on. Not having been outside in a while really seemed to be getting to him. He wouldn't even have minded the present company, if not for how Snape's mood seemed to have soured again. 

"Missing the dungeons already, are you, Severus?" There was a small smile upon Remus' lips as he asked--carelessly assuming that the lake brought to mind the same thoughts that had come to him.

He gave Snape some distance, though it was more to his benefit as it allowed him to observe the other better. It was a curious thing that one who'd been his adversary once was now on their side again. Remus still did not quite know what to make of a person whose allegiance had swung from one extreme to the other, almost seeming to take pleasure in contradicting anyone who tried to get a good read on it.  

[mischiefinasgard-deactivated201]

loopthelupin started following you

[mischiefinasgard-deactivated201]

“Yeah, but that’s the thing. Inoffensive is about dullness, isn’t it? The perfect bait.” Loki pointed out, raising his eyebrows. “Well, why don’t you let the beast roam free every once in a while? I’m the god of mischief, I’m always up for a little trouble.” He smirked. “And if you don’t want to hurt anybody, you can always go to a deserted place. There’s plenty of them in this planet.” 

[loopthelupin]

"I'd say that I'm past the age where it's acceptable to indulge in mischief, but that would make me sound like an old codger, and you a fool." 

He let out a sudden huff of laughter. "You know, mischief and trouble-making were a large part of my youth. Kept me going, and kept my thoughts from spiralling into despair too often. I suppose it makes sense that to meet the god of mischief. Would really be possible, though? Are there truly places so remote that no man or creature would be harmed should I transform there?" 

[loopthelupin]

friends turned acquaintances || Hestia & Remus

[heyhestia-blog]

When he said he didn’t dislike her, and never did, she let out a small snort of amusement before looking back into the amber colored liquid. She listened to him speak, though, about how he’d just been wary about her observant nature and what she knew. Her brows furrowed, and she looked up at him contemplating what he said. “Bullshit.” The word came out a tad bit more louder than she had meant it to, and the voice was the authoritative voice she used with suspects - though it had an added, slight, slur induced by the alcohol. “That, that is complete and utter bullshit.”

She finished her drink, and put the glass away from her - though this time she didn’t motion for another. She might not have had as high as an alcohol tolerance as Remus, but she knew her limit. And though she was slightly buzzed, and her voice had a slight slur, she was at the point where she could still make it home without too much worry. However, she did cross her arms over the bar and bury her head in them. When she spoke next, her voice was muffle so she turned her head slightly to the side so that he could hear her.

“You’re telling me you treated me differently than everyone else just because I knew you had a crush on Lily Evans? Bloody hell, Remus, all of you boys had a crush on Lily at least once. Any person who had an interest in females at one point had a crush on Lily Evans. James’ just stuck longer than most.” She snorted and let out a long breath. “If I hadn’t been so stuck on James, Terryn, Cardoc and that time in seventh I had a thing for you that lasted maybe three days, then I’d have probably even have had a thing for Lily Evans myself.”

She sat up and pushed back her dark hair from her face, and gave a small huff. “If that’s true then you, Remus John Lupin, are a real fucking prat.”

When he said he didn’t know about her and James she snorted out another laugh and buried her head back into her arms. “That is because I was so ashamed. He liked Lily, and I guess I knew that deep down even when he did ask me to hang out. I just wanted to think I compared to her, you know?” She popped her head back up and propped it up with her hand resting beneath her chin. “Don’t take that wrong, I loved her to death. She was my best friend, but do you know how hard it was to be Lily Evan’s best friend? She was the top in all of our classes, she got prefect, she got Head Girl, she got guys and people just loved her. She was the type of person that people were just magnetized to.” She licked her lips, unconsciously, and looked around the pub.

“If she were out tonight she’d be telling stories, and half the pub would be listening. Enchanted. I was lucky enough to keep anyone interested in a conversation for too long. I had no interesting stories to tell, and those I did she told better.” Though it seemed that she was complaining, and in a way she was, she mourned her friend as she spoke. She missed the way that being around Lily had made her feel - as if she was a part of something. At home she was often, enough, put down and discarded by her family’s traditional ways. Lily made her feel as if she was perfectly normal, and that she was just perfect the way she was. She had a way of doing that to people.

When he mentioned it was probably them that got them together she shook her head. “Despite both of us having feelings for one of them, at some point or another, I don’t think it was. I think that, in the long run, it would always happen. No matter what path, no matter who said what or who did what. It would always turn out to be Lily Evans and James Potter. They just countered each other in a way that brought out the best qualities, and some of the worst, in each other in a way that happens once in a lifetime. If that, because only so few people are that lucky.”

“Though, I did tell him to stop being such a fucking prat,” she said proudly. “When we sat down and he brought up Lily, asking if she talked about him, I stood up and went ‘she might if you weren’t such a giant fucking prat, Potter’ and stormed out. I was so pissed.” She laughed and buried her head back into her arms. “I sat on a rock, outside of the shack on the skirts of town for nearly four hours before someone else came by and I left. Didn’t want to be bothered.”

[loopthelupin]

And it might have seemed that she wanted to be left alone again, but Remus knew better now. Though all he could see was a mass of dark hair and the curve of her back, he found himself unable to preserve the silence that had fallen over them. He shifted in his seat, body angled towards her. "Hes." He called her name softly, not daring to even tap her lightly on the shoulder. "I understand how you felt. If I hadn't wanted to be close to Lily, I might have wanted to be her; I envied her too, for her way with people."

There was a lump in his throat, and he downed some more firewhiskey, the last of his second glass. He didn't request for another.

"Of course it hurt to lose her to someone else, though I never thought I'd have a chance with her... And thinking back now, I created a self-fulfilling prophecy from the belief that I would never have a chance. You may think it's a load of bull, Hes, but knowing that I would never act on my feelings made me all the more terrified that you might have known about my... crush on Lily. I didn't want anyone to know for fear that they might... try to encourage me..."

[yourgreasygit]

A/N: Sorry for any spelling mistakes. I’m tired.

A Snape one-shot.

-x-

Swooping down corridors in a black cloud, he heard the children whisper behind his back. He heard them talk in corners. He knew the way in which the other staff said his name, and he felt the judgment of their searching eyes...

[heyhestia-blog]

“I know, old friend. I love you, too.” / AU Photoset / Gifset here (x) / Matches This Drabble: (x) / Starring heyhestia as Hestia and loopthelupin as Remus.

Hestia and Remus grow old together, living their life and raising his child.

[loopthelupin]

ooc

I just let some replies out of my drafts (sorry if they're rubbish asdshsh) but I'm a little too tired to keep working on the rest so I think I'll leave them for... later. ;; I know I owe Jasmine and Pea but I may have lost track of a thread or two. like if I owe? I am also lame for spontaneously deciding to pick up knitting today.

[mischiefinasgard-deactivated201]

loopthelupin started following you

[mischiefinasgard-deactivated201]

“A werewolf? Yes, I know what a werewolf is. Perfectly.” Loki’s expression hardened slightly, although he tried to smile. “I once knew one of your kind. I know how the whole thing works.” 

“I understand why you are afraid of yourself. Being a werewolf entails a certain loss of control over your own personality and behaviour that depends on the state of the moon,” he said. “But if you want me to tell you the truth, you are like the living proof that nothing is what it seems. A poisonous being living inside an inoffensive-looking human. It’s brilliant.” 

[loopthelupin]

For a few moments he was silent, mulling over what he'd just been told. "Inoffensive..." he murmured eventually, "it's not a bad thing to seem, I suppose, if a little dull." He tried to smile, but, like the god, did not manage to soften his expression much. "Once in a very long time, I confess, I entertain thoughts of what it might be like to stop fighting the beast. I would never... never want to let it roam free and cause harm to innocents--anyone at all. But I can't deny that when I'm feeling especially... low... I wonder what about would happen should I make peace with the wolf and allow it to... to feed."   

[theladyviolinist-deactivated201]

“Only the second? I’d have thought a lovely person like you would have been famous within the town already.. ” she teased. “I’d only be too delighted for you to attend the concert.” she smiled. “It’s actually tomorrow… “

[loopthelupin]

"Mm.. When does it begin?" he asked, smiling hopefully and tapping his fingers against the table in a somewhat absent manner. "As much as I would love to be there, it wouldn't make a very good impression on my boss to be requesting time off from work, when I've only just started there."