30 Day Blog Challenge Day: 24
Day 24: Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
Childhood: When I was younger my mum was in charge. Being the only income earner in the household, she was in charge of what got done and when also what things were priorities to buy at the stores. Usually, that entailed cloth, food and essentials; rather than games, toys and brand named snacks, to the vast annoyance her young children (my sister and I).
Don’t get me wrong though, she wasn’t an unfair tyrant. More of a captain of a pirate ship. She spoke to my sister and me as adults and was never ignorant to our intelligence. Most times she would allow us to voice our opinions, in which I would seek my sister’s council and approval while she would seek my supportive interest in whatever she was trying to get our mom to agree to. They discussion usually took place after my mom got home from work in the evenings. Once a fast thing, they soon turned into Jewish-Muslim marriage arrangements. When my sister turned about 13, her temper and anger when roused grew greatly. So screaming matches would soon break out. My mother was a strong believer in not “spanking” a child on every provocation, unlike the other women in our family, so my sister would often push her, thinking her soft. But eventually, the hammer came down.
Interlogue: My grandmother was first in command when my mom was away, though only in things she could see. My sister and I would often do things that we couldn’t get away with when our mom wasn’t home. Although she couldn’t see or hear as well, she was quicker to anger and felt that the belt solved more issue with kids than hard words. When my mother was home she usually took her side in most matters, except when my mother’s rare and short fits of anger were directed at her. In 2001 there was an accident that involved the death of my aunt and injury of my granny (grandmother). For almost 3 years, my grandmother was not included in our home life, because she was at the hospital. When she came back in 2004, she was less sturdy and forceful than she used to be. My sister and I got away with a lot more after that. Certain roles of power were given to my sister and I depending on the task. Though my grandmother started talking more trash, she lacked the strength to take control like she used to in anywhere but the kitchen. We 2 kids were already used to being relied upon more, to my sister, her presence back into the household was unneeded. This created more tension. With 3 strong willed women in the house, I like to believe this is what gave me the high opinion of women.
So pretty much before I was 15ish, I was last in everything, except when it came to tech, where my opinion of things was really high.
Now: I sort of gained the title of “man of the house” now, whereas before it was only a technicality. My year of living alone has really given me the skills and care to actually do more chores. My mother relies on me more now in her older age. I’ve assumed the role of eldest sibling, seeing as my sister can’t be trusted with much. The only my Granny is in charge of now is baking and taking care of my niece. She’s not enjoying it, retirement I mean. My niece is in charge of tormenting my poor cat, crying and trying to act cute… Other than that, nothing has really changed. My mom is still the biggest breadwinner, even with all the decline in clients work. We try and help, with the minor amount of money that students make, but it’s still tight most months. So yes, nothing's changed, we’re just old enough to see things differently. Also, my niece has convinced me that all children, below the age of 6, are tiny Hitlers.
Thanks for reading my content. Also, I apologize for the late posts. The last few days have gotten really busy. Forgive me, and please reblog.
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