Reclaiming my cringe origins

started on this godforsaken app in 2010-2011 as supernatural-screwdriver. Survied the 2012 mayan apocalypse, the mishapocalypse and dash con.

[dark-magician-girl-meets-world]

Every morning, I put on my thinking cap and my smartiepants. Unfortunately, there is no shirt that properly proclaims my intellectual abilities, so I have to go tits out

[lieblingsfags]

[sister-nile]

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

first homophobic mario

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

absolutely amazing this has 300+ notes and only one person in the replies so far didn't know what it was referencing

[catchymemes]

Disney Facial Expressions

[loveitorreblogit]

[firebendinglemur]

Me: -so after it became apparent that ‘retarded’ had become a term of abuse, educators and psychiatrists switched to other terms like ‘handicapped’ or ‘special needs’ in an attempt to -

George Orwell, whom I’ve dragged forward in time with my arcane powers because I’m lonely and want someone to talk to: You have a telephone in your pocket?  It listens to you all the time?

Me: Never mind about that, the point is, young people now mock each other by sending the wheelchair emoji - that’s a type of electronic heiroglyph - to suggest mental deficiency and shout SPESHUL!!!! while doing offensive imitations of disabled facial expressions and posture.  So any attempt to lexographically make crimethink impossible is pretty much doomed because the meaning of words in everyday conversation can’t be controlled by a dictionary entry, no matter how many Ministry of Truth employees-

Orwell: It reports your location to the telephone company at all times?

[witharsenicsauce]

[havartia]

[homunculus-argument]

Avian intelligence research is hilarious from a distance because there's some scientist in Sweden who has six hand-reared somewhat-tame crows in his facility and one wild one. Like she wasn't captured from anywhere or even officially live there. She's just a wild crow who showed up one day to volunteer like "hello I would like to participate in these puzzles that measure intelligence, they look fun.

[doomhamster]

The corvid version of the "hello yes I would like to do a science" penguin!

[cipheramnesia]

Crow showing up like listen buddy you need a control group.

[bunjywunjy]

Blessed or cursed facts about the Japanese spiny lumpfish please? 🥺

lumpfish are often referred to as "lumpsuckers" because of a surprise physical characteristic they usually keep hidden- they have suction cups on their bellies!

these surprise suckers keep the lumpfish anchored on rocks in powerful tidal currents, and they're powerful enough to make it a gigantic pain in the ass if a lumpfish sticks somewhere you don't want it to.

"get OFF, dammit!"

[bunjywunjy]

nice to see we're all on the same page for once

[cundtcake]

[cundtcake]

[weaver-z]

@king-worm @devourer-of-shredded-cheese @tautochrying

[thesuperheroesnetwork]

Texts From Superheroes

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[fuckecheeses]

The SJWs have cut holes in all my spoons. How will I eat soup now

[scumtrout]

fun fact about aging: you don’t perceive yourself as being older but you perceive young people as being younger. today I was in a zoom meeting with a bunch of young men and I kept thinking ‘who put beards on these children’.

[randomslasher]

Correct. High school kids are WAY younger than I was when I was in high school. So are college kids. When I was in high school and college we were full grown adults. But now that I’m almost 40 the high school and college age kids are actually babies. It’s crazy how that happens. 

[sandersstudies]

I remember when I was in middle school I would hear my dad calling college students and 20-something employees “kid,” as in “oh yeah this kid that just started in marketing is really talented,” or “the Johnsons’ son is a really nice kid” talking about like a 22-year-old and at the time I was like “what haha those aren’t kids those are clearly adults”

And now I’m a 24-year-old who sees my 18-year-old coworker as a baby and I’m like ah. I think I am coming to an understanding.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Everyone on planet earth currently is the oldest and most mature that they’ve ever been. And they always will be.

[belanekra]

I’m 28 and back in college to get a new undergrad degree for a career change, and all of my classmates are just…babies. who let these toddlers out on their own? one of my classmates got drunk at a party and gave herself a concussion and i’m just like. these children need to be supervised.

[tiktoks-for-dead-pope]

[prokopetz]

Remember: toe beans are the sign of a killer.

[prokopetz]

Funnily enough, I’m not 100% joking. While many animals have paw pads, the particular kind of soft, squishy beans found on housecats are an adaptation for stealth. Squishy beans mean you’re looking at an ambush predator.

[slippyflippers]

These are the beans of a killer, Bella.

[lesbianhallieparker]

THIS IS THE CUTEST SHIT IVE EVER SEENNNN

[loveliesttime]

hate that i can't hang out in silence w online friends. sometimes when i'm not replying it's not in a "this conversation is over" way or in a "i'm too busy to reply" way. but in a "on all levels except physical my head is on your lap while we both silently scroll on our phones" way

[insurrectionary-frybreadism-dea]

[assassinationtipsforladies]

You can really tell when sitcoms about working class people were written by working class people

[scoobydoomistakes]

I’m pretty sure you could do an entire PhD dissertation on “How Big is Scooby-Doo, Anyway”

Like, here he is outside the power plant… nearly as tall as Daphne…

…and a little earlier, meeting the… well, yeah.

Forced perspective or not, are we sure we’re dealing with the same dog, here?

Is it a The Doctor/James Bond thing? Is the monicker “Scooby” just a title passed around to multiple great (and diminutive) danes?