I know why I'm sad

SW 191 ; CW 173 ; GW1 160 ; GW2 130 ; GW3 120 ; UGW 100 ✨

[lostfloweronthemoon]

Me : 2021 is a year for self development ! Health and positivity !

Brain : ... ok so first, you’re fat, so you’ll starve for few weeks and then we’ll talk

[petitepallete-deactivated202101]

JUST✨ BECAUSE✨ I✨ THINK✨ I✨ LOOK✨ FAT✨ AND✨ DESPERATELY✨ WANT✨ TO✨ BE✨ SKINNY✨ AND✨ PRETTY✨ DOESN’T✨ MEAN✨ I✨ THINK✨ YOU’RE✨ UGLY✨ BECAUSE✨ YOU✨ WEIGH✨ MORE✨ THAN✨ ME✨✨✨ YOU✨ ARE✨ BEAUTIFUL✨ I✨ JUST✨ HATE✨ MYSELF✨✨✨

[alien-baby]

gaining back weight that you’ve previously lost feels like a different type of fatness

[dankmemeuniversity]

[lostfloweronthemoon]

I've met this cute guy, kind, careful, funny, doesn't have a huge ego, super caring...

As odd as it could sound, since I've met him I've been worse and worse... Hating myself twice harder...

We'll never be together, he will never know how I feel about him, how every time I touch him I feel butterflies, how his laugh makes me travel to another universe, how his voice makes me vibrate.

Sorry I ruined the mood ahah

[daintyydarlinn]

for me, restricting isn’t even that hard once i get into it.

the hard part is the waiting. waiting to lose weight. waiting to feel more bones. waiting to become skinny.

[lostfloweronthemoon]

The things in my life have no reason to happen, literally

[lostfloweronthemoon]

I might have the only grandparents that don't have dinner and that let me eat or starve lol

Yup mom that's the main reason I came here for 2 weeks

[lostfloweronthemoon]

I read SKINNY instead of SHINY ifkdkdjd

Ma fucked up brain

[lostfloweronthemoon]

Here me out

Writing my ugw on my wrist is my coping mecanism

[tr4iningbra]

[lostfloweronthemoon]

Losing 600gr being so confident, buying a short but not trying it cause covid lol

Back home you try it and it's too tight BUT you're almost there.

2 mins later yiu hear you sis showing off how well the short suits her

Condidence: 0

Sister: 1

[lostfloweronthemoon]

Niiiice I had a family dinner and had vegan burger, fries and half a magnum ice cream 😩 I'm such a failure

[lostfloweronthemoon]

"Did I clean the shower???!!!"

Me In panic

Pretty much 80% of time

[lostfloweronthemoon]

came across your account, and I feel your hurt. I am so sorry that you’ve gone through bullshit and you don’t deserve it. Sending hugs n love stranger :)

Yeah... I guess night thought make it worse, it's just that I've never wrote about it... Or told anybody sooo. But thank you

[lostfloweronthemoon]

Is it just me or did you also thought that you were so fat back then, but now that you look at old pictures you see that you in fact skinny.

And you always felt like a real fat shit, so you put effort in your appearance to please others but they were all attracted to your skinny sister.

So your entire teenage hood, you saw all your crushes getting closer to your sister, because "you're just too much of the perfect friend".. So you became introvert and very good at fake smiling to not bother others.

And everyone end up thinking you're so sociable and positive, you're such a good friend. And as you told them, you don't need someone to love you because "you don't have the time for stupid love and breaks up".

But everytime you come back from this social world, you really feel unloved, unable to find comfort in the warm arms of someone who would tell you "I love you". Sometimes you really need a hug. A hug that seems so far. A hug that would probably never come.

No? It's just me?

[lostfloweronthemoon]

I've never heard "I love you" from anybody except my family

And I'm 20

So now you get why I'm fat and sad