h
oozey mess
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hello vonnie
Janaina Medeiros
DEAR READER
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Product Placement
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Today's Document
JVL
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@lostgabi
These are the last threads here on this blog. If you want to continue, please send an @ to @insomniacsmuses.
This is the archive of 30+ day old replies. If you want to continue something from here, also send an @ to the above blog.
@venusxvanxdamn @dallasxxwinston
Thread tracker shows what is owed.
Archived is things more than 30 days old/dropped.
This blog is officially moved.
You can find Gabi on @insomniacsmuses.
This blog is officially moved.
You can find Gabi on @insomniacsmuses.
Thread tracker shows what is owed.
Archived is things more than 30 days old/dropped.
This blog is officially moved.
You can find Gabi on @insomniacsmuses.
This blog is officially moved.
You can find Gabi on @insomniacsmuses.
This blog is officially moved.
You can find Gabi on @insomniacsmuses.
me: replies to one thread me: i am on FIRE
Deep Ass Starters.
Sometimes it's hard to get in depth with your muse and their backstory, because you can't figure out how to bring those things up with others. Here are a couple of starters intended to make things a little more personal!
"What's holding you back?"
"I'm not comfortable with this conversation."
"Will you /ever/ be comfortable with this conversation?"
"Let me in sometime!"
"It's not that easy, you know."
"Help me understand."
"It's hard to connect with someone when all they do is push you away."
"Why are you always so cold?"
"Why are you always so happy?"
"Are you really happy now?"
"Who hurt you this badly to make you this way?!"
"What, did your ex mess you up that badly?!"
"Why do you keep fighting it any time you feel?"
"It's a problem, I get it."
"This is all kinds of messed up."
"That's not exactly a good coping method."
"So what happened, with your parents, really?"
"What was your childhood like?"
"Everyone has at lest a little bit of mommy/daddy issues. It's nothing to be ashamed of."
"My parents aren't exactly perfect models, either."
"You were bullied? What for?"
"Was it hard? Coming out, I mean."
"You can't just run away all the time."
"You can't just hide all the time."
"Are you still thinking about them?"
"I'm not the enemy here. But this makes me wonder who the real one is for you."
"Is the reason you're so cold and defensive because you feel threatened?"
"How long has it been since you last spoke to them?"
"You never talk about it, why?"
"How come you're so different around them?"
"It's like you don't have a care or worry in the world."
"You seem so perfect. I don't get it."
"What was your ex like?"
"I don't think I was ever good enough for them."
"Are you not comfortable being intimate?"
"Why don't you feel comfortable being intimate?"
"Letting someone see you that vulnerable, it's a scary thing."
"Are you scared of being hurt?"
"Have you ever been taken advantage of?"
"Why are you afraid of saying I love you?"
"I never understood how someone could say those words so easily."
"You're hurting others the way you've been hurt in the past, don't you think that's ironic?"
"You use people to make yourself feel better."
"I'm scared of being used again..."
"Losing someone isn't easy, but you're making it harder than it needs to be."
"How long has it been since you lost them?"
"You're too attached."
"I'm not attached, I'm just comfortable with what I'm familiar to."
"Maybe the real reason you're so controlling is because, deep down you'd rather have them in your grasp than lose them."
"Why did you ever break up?" / "Why did we ever break up?"
shesboundtolose:
She felt absolutely sick, at Gabi’s resign, at the way she so easily accepted a fate she didn’t have to. Right then and there, Lou decided that Murphy Taggart needed to die for this and that she’d spend the rest of her life trying to bring about his demise. He was responsible for this. Gabi was unrecognizable, even as she said the words Lou heard from her mouth hundreds of times. This wasn’t her sister, this was a hollow shell of what she once was. It was in that moment that Lou couldn’t tell which was a more selfish act: Holding on to Gabi or Gabi’s desire to let go. She did, however, physically release her, realizing just how firmly she’d been holding her. Lou pulled the phone from her pocket. “I’m callin’ your brother and we’re gettin’ you out of here and we’re goin’ to find ya help. This… Gabi, I’m fightin’ for you.”
Gabi just wanted to go find Murph. To have him give her what he gave her, to blot out the rational parts of her. So she didn’t need to think. She just wanted to cling to him, even if he didn’t want to. To have him give her the oblivion she craved to hard. Damn Lou for making her think.
She rubbed her arms and tumbled back, eyes closing as she fell into a chair, curling into herself. There was much less of her now. Her bosses would love it. She was so thin. But she didn’t have bosses anymore. Or a job. No apartment either. Nothing.
“What’s the point?” she asked. “You help. I get high the second I can. Always.”
I’m an aunt!
shesboundtolose:
Lou frowned deeply as she listened and noted Gabi’s tone. She knew all of this, but it was still something else to hear it from someone else. “Guess I should’ve when I had the chance…” It was an awful thing to say, but there it was, spoken out of pure irritation. “I don’t think she’ll keep the baby. She’s too selfish to.”
She laughed at her friend’s quick correction as she looked back at Harper, a big smile on her face. “I don’t know… Maybe it’s time we do move in together though…” She reached back and brushed the baby’s cheek with her index finger before slowly looking at Gabi, eyes slightly narrowed. “The full name. Ouch. Dang, girl, alright. I meant, like, actually occupyin’ space with someone else. Not bein’ alone in a literal sense. Geez.” Shaking her head, she pulled her hand away from Harper to take Gabi’s. “I love you too and I’ve never forgotten, or not realized, that you’ve always been here for me.”
“Find a time machine. Maybe we can go back in time and fix that mistake...” she huffed. She hated the woman. It was terrible to treat her like that. To say and think those things. Still, happened.
Gabi waved off her slip. “I gotta quit that...” she muttered to herself and shook her head. “Full name to make it hit home more. Effective mom move. Mine used it quite frequently...” she admitted, head tilted to think about it. “I’m way more like her than I’m not.” She squinted. “I assumed metaphorical alone. You see, more into the metaphors and such than the literal. Could have been both, I guess...” she said, sighing softly. Squeezing Lou’s hand, she pulled it closer and pecked the back of it. “You are my sister. I love you...”
allthosemuseiisms:
“I ended up with a hot female professor. Seems to keep the attention of the class quite well, both male and female.” he laughed, sitting back as the waitress arrived with their food. “Wow, that is huge. I think I’ve died and gone to burger heaven.”
“Ah. Those are nice, hot professors. I’m partial to one I get next semester. I’ve gone to audit his class, just to watch him. Not too young though. He’s in his fifties probably...” Her and her silver fox crushes. “It’s better than sex,” she assured him. “And the fries. Don’t forget those.”
Date Night || Lill & Gabi
multusxcastalides:
She did not notice Gabi admiring her legs, but she did notice that she was plucking at her clothes. Again. Instead, she just folded her hands together and turned her gaze fully on Gabi, taking a deep breath to settle her nerves.
“Good,” she said with a nod, the corners of her lips twitching upwards in anticipation of the date-that-was-not-a-real-date. Despite the fact that her idea of a date had not come true, she could still pretend it was one, right? Pathetic Lill, really pathetic. “Thanks,” she said at the offer, sitting down behind Gabi’s desk and calling the restaurant to make reservations for the two of them. When all was arranged, she put down the phone and glanced up at Gabi. “We have a table at 7, I hope that’s okay? I could pick you up at, say… 6.30?”
Gabi had been nervous like that before. She understood it. Very well.
“I think it’s good, yes...” she agreed. Standing behind her while she called, Gabi played with Lill’s hair, brushing her fingers through it. When the reservation was made, she stopped, nodded. “6:30 is good. Or you can just hang out here til then. I bet we can keep ourselves occupied. You can help me find somethin’ to wear. Since you’re already so pretty...”
Gabi/Murph + End
5 minutes | Accepting eternally | @semperardens
It was over in an instant. She had taken everything she could get her hands on, poured it into her veins, and fell back onto the cold, dirty bathroom tiles. She was counting them when everthing hit. When her vision swam. Her son was before her now. Grown up and looking at her with hatred. Her family, holding onto him. Hating her.
It was not a drift off. It was not pleasant. Her heart felt like it may burst from her chest. Breathing hurt. Breathing hurt bad. She shook. Bit her tongue. After that, Gabi didn’t feel anything. Hear anything. There was nothing. Nothing but a voice, angry. Then panicked.
But, she couldn’t come back.
It was a drift now. Her heart was done. Her lungs too. And when the end came, she was almost smiling.
