ghost limbs @lostkctya-blog - Tumblr Blog

mknzi‌:

@ofmccrees , @lostkctya

it’s cold. colder than it needs to be mud clinging to dirtied shirt, sticking to her skin like a parasite. aoife takes the time of quiet, infected tossed aside, to clean it. the frost gnawed at her skin, jack frost nipping like a dog as she stood, chest bare over cold water. thankfully, she managed to cover herself, slightly, with the leathered fur of her jacket. remi and amiele were off somewhere. probably waiting by the caravan to move on. it was dangerous alone. more than ever, and she’d much prefer the two to be together than have them sneak around behind her.

a patch of snow crunched under heavy foot falls, and though aoife had the strange, minimal thought that it might just be her two companions, she let the jacket held between hands fall slightly, to adjust her AIM ; a barrel pointed in the direction over her shoulder. the ink made visible to those who dared sneak. but did she speak a word ? not a peep. just a warning. physically. an infected would be blown away. survivors ? depending on her mood.

--- katya was certain she had buried it somewhere out here. the small knife and sheath that she normally kept wrapped around her thigh, but had taken off and hidden before entering the school. it wasn’t something she had wanted confiscated --- the last thing her mother had given her. but, katya had made a mistake in her marking of the area, seemingly forgetting that snow would inevitably fall and cover the branches she had carefully laid out. she could tell james was becoming slightly annoyed as she dug around in the snow like a dog in hopes of finding this needle in a haystack. but she wasn’t ready to give up just yet.

--- “ there’s just one more spot i want to check, ” voice pleading, doe-eyes wide as if that could convince her companion to endure more unnecessary time out in the cold with the knowledge of the approaching hoard. it worked, and the two were off towards the bank of trees slightly north of the camp. katya remembered the pond --- that was certainly where she had buried the knife. on the muddy bank surrounded by trees where nobody would find it ... or so she thought.

--- standing shirtless pond-side was a woman, gun over shoulder pointed in the direction of katya and james. she considered drawing her own weapon, but the large tattoo on the woman’s back made it clear she had been in some sort of gang. one of the many that had formed since the beginning of the end. that wasn’t somebody katya wanted to mess with. her hand reached out, grabbing james’ sleeve. “ maybe we should go, actually ... i can always come back. ”

#[james mccree:002]#[aoife mackenzie:001]

skamsource

#head on sideways [katya]

violentwavesofemotion-deactivat

I’m not too gone to be healed, am I? I’m not too gone am I?

Alice Notley, from In The Pines: Poems; “In The Pines,” (via violentwavesofemotion)

#she’s calico inside [musings & aesthetic]

ofmccrees‌:

the first emotion is anger, and it swells so quickly through james’ chest that it almost makes him stumble backwards and out the doorway–away from this. away from her. the younger man inside of him looks at her face and only feels bitterness, because she left him for something better. the pendant on the rusted chain around his neck burns at the contact with his skin, and for a moment his fingers itch to reach up and yank it away. it had become a habit, putting her necklace on before going to the wall. putting it on before climbing out of bed. when he was younger the necklace held hope, that she would come back. but then years passed, snow turned into summer, and james was sure that katya had found someplace better. he was sure that she was dead.

the second emotion is relief, because here she is standing right in front of him before his very eyes. her face is the same but it isn’t. it’s older. it’s rougher. it’s tired. it’s wise. his thoughts are racing and his mouth is fumbling because all he wants to say is her name. he wants to make sure that this is katya and not one of the fucked up dreams it took him so long to grow out of. a step is taken into the room, and then another, and then another. james barely registers the older woman taking her leave, shoulders knocking together as she slides past him, but even so james can’t find it in himself to apologize. the world is zeroed in on one thing: katya.

and then she’s in his arms, and for a second james finds it hard to breathe. she’s so…she’s so small, so frail, shaking in his arms as though the small run across the room took all the energy out of her. he finds that his knees are buckling, so he takes them down gently to the floor, and before he knows it he’s trying to gather as much of katya and her small frame into his arms as he can. it’s almost frantic, the way he’s pulling her to his chest, the way he’s running his hands down her cheeks and through her hair–because he’s scared. he’s scared that this is one of those fucked up dreams and that she’s not in front of him right now. he’s scared of all the things she had been through to get here. he’s scared that somewhere, under all those clothes hanging off her frame, is going to be the one thing that will take her away from him again.

“oh, kitten.” it’s still hard to speak, because his brain is going miles a minute and there are so many things he wants to ask her. he opens his mouth to continue but katya cuts him short, a simple sentence that fills his chest with fire and ice all at the same time. fire because she was right. she didn’t break her promise. she came back to him. back to her home. ice because she worked so hard to get here. because whatever happened out there without him happened because of a promise that was whispered between them years ago. he pulls her out of the comfort of his chest to caress her dirt stricken face, nodding quickly with reassurance.

“i’ve gotcha now kitten. don’t worry, you’re safe now. i’ve gotcha. don’t gotta worry about a thing anymore. i’ve gotcha.”

--- it’s as if katya can feel everything he is through their hug. the slight angry tension that causes his arms to stiffen around her and his chest to puff out. then the anger melting away into a welcoming and relieved embrace only he could give to her. his hold on her softens yet tightens at the same time, and it’s only moments before the two of them are a shaking heap on the ground. him pulling her so closely to him that she melts into him entirely, letting the comforting feeling roll over her in waves.

--- it had been three years since she had last been in his arms like this, the last time being the night her parents decided to leave. their short, whirlwind romance had caught hold of her so tightly that the thought of leaving james behind was like the world ending all over again. falling for him had been the easiest thing she’d done in her entire life, only for her parents to rip it away and call her traitorous for wanting to choose a boy and this follower lifestyle over them. watching his face morph into an expression of hurt and confusion when she woke him in the middle of the night to say goodbye broke her heart, and all she could do was promise to him that someday she would come back for him. leaving him a tiny silver k pendant to hold onto until she returned.

--- when he finally draws back she looks at his face again. his skin is slightly weathered from long days and nights in the cold. the corners of his eyes still turn up like he’s always smiling. her heart is beating in her chest like she’s a rabbit in the talons of an eagle --- all fear and excitement and years of missing him with every fiber of her being. and when that nickname falls from his lips again in that sweet texas drawl she honestly thinks she could happily die in this moment. he has her wrapped around his finger completely , no different than he had before.

--- “ i know you do, ” she whispered back. the initial shock of their reuniting was wearing off now, leading way to all her other feelings. suddenly, she could feel trails of tears rolling down her cheeks. the irony made her laugh quietly --- crying at a moment like this seemed completely appropriate but also ridiculous. she was happy. so happy. her tear filled eyes darted down from his face, landing on the chain that hung loosely around his neck. on it, the pendant she had given him glimmered under the dim lighting in the room. one of her hands loosened it’s grip on his jacket, fingers carefully taking the pendant between them and inspecting it. “ i can’t believe you still have this. ” it made her chest swell with a warm feeling --- he had held onto that piece of her the entire time she had been away.

--- “ so, you’re my tour guide then ? makes me a little less reluctant to go on it now. ” she sniffled, letting her eyes move back up to his face and hoping her little comment would lighten the mood. “ i guess it’s a little more cushy and glamorous than guarding the wall. ”

#[james mccree:001]

zldac‌:

@lostkctya

a small bagged and cooked squirrel is tossed to the white ground, zelda standing meters away from the woman with a blank expression ; maybe just passing by. maybe she wasn’t even hungry. ( who was she kidding everyone was hungry ). but the way she stood, the way she looked like she was about to collapse over nothing pulled sympathy from the firefly. her crossbow hung tightly in one hand, distrusting nature favored as she kept her attention on the other.

she didn’t ask for it, and it wasn’t often you’d find kindness from the likes of her. a heart colder than the snow at their feet. but something about tattered and broken girls played with her heart strings. reminding her that this was once her. “ you looked hungry. ”

--- it seemed as though katya was being afforded all the good luck in the world as of late. normally, run ins with other people always came with a fight over something. the tattered remains of a hare carcass, clothing found on a headless body ... anything was considered a life-altering find out here. it was unlikely anybody would share, and even more unlikely that anybody would just give handouts. or at least that’s what katya had thought.

--- part of her wondered if there was some underlying scheme this woman wanted to pull. perhaps the squirrel was poisoned and after katya died the strange brunette would loot her corpse. that seemed unlikely, though. if she wanted to take anything from the blonde it would be easy --- she was a weak link. an easy target. so maybe, just maybe, she actually felt pity. maybe she was actually being kind. either way, at this point katya didn’t care which outcome she faced. at least if she died she would die full. she crouched down slowly, blue eyes remaining fixed on the woman in front of her as she grabbed the k squirrel with greedy hands. the smell made her stomach growl loudly --- it had been at least two days since she had last eaten.

--- “ thank you. ” she said quietly, returning to a standing position. “ are you sure you want to give me this ? food isn’t easy to come by out here. ”

#[zelda cortes:001]

ofmccrees‌:

while the wall was usually mccree’s home ( he had a little nest up there and everything ), it could be often that you would need to be dragged somewhere else. mccree liked guarding, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t scavenge or care or work in the kitchens every once in awhile. while he was called the sharpshooter for a reason, he also liked to call himself the jack of all trades. he had been around long enough to know the ropes–which is why when someone else was needed for a certain job, mccree was the usual one they called.

so here he was, walking towards the main room of the boarding school because someone needed to be shown around. this time he wasn’t even mad about it. the cold was stinging his nose, the tip of the american flag bandanna he kept around his mouth frosted with ice. the day had been slow, no sign of walkers, so it was almost a pleasure to come inside and out of the snow where it wasn’t really that warm, but at least warmer than outside.

“–someone will be here shortly to help you gain your bearings.” a woman’s voice, probably one of the caretakers. mccree tugged his bandanna down and around his neck before leaning against the doorway. the older woman’s body blocked his view of the newcomer, but he watched as she passed whoever it was new clothes and a jacket. for privacy, mccree adverted his eyes and allowed them a few moments to change before knocking on the doorframe.

“ya needed me?” he questioned in his low drawl, head tilting to try and see around the older woman. she turned at the sound of his voice, giving him an ‘oh, james!’ before stepping aside happily to show the face of the newcomer. it took a moment for mccree’s brain to register her face, god it had been so long since he had seen it, and an ache he had thought was finally gone returned in full force.

“…kitten?” her nickname sounded so forgien rolling off his tongue, and for a moment the thought made mccree feel sick to his stomach. fingers curled around the doorframe knuckle white, and everything went out of focus–just to come back into focus just as quickly right onto katya’s face. “are ya fuckin’ kiddin’ me?”

@lostkctya

--- the past few hours had been a whirlwind. since arriving at the school, katya had gone through such a range of emotions she could hardly comprehend it. the steadfast but kind leader allowing her a second chance, giving her new clothes and a bed to sleep in --- a place to call home --- it was all a kindness she was unused to. the world she had come to know as brutally unforgiving seemed to have small pockets of goodness left. however, the culture shock was a lot for her to handle, and she was tired. all she wanted in that moment was to change out of her winter-ruined clothes and go to sleep. the camp had other plans, though.

--- after being brought to her room by a particularly warm and inviting older woman, katya thought that to be the end of her eventful first day. she had guardians stationed outside her door ( lest she decide in the middle of the night to steal her new riches and run ) and a roughly laid out schedule to follow. it all seemed to be going as well as it could be. the thought of being thrown into anything else made her stomach feel unsettled. she was just peeling off her coat when her companion mentioned a tour. katya’s coat stopped halfway down her arms as she turned around, raising a brow as she repeated what the woman had said with a questioning edge to her tone. when it was confirmed that yes, she was in fact being taken on a tour of the camp, she had to stifle a groan. the last thing she wanted to do was seem in any way ungrateful --- she owed these people her life at this point --- but sleep was calling her like an old friend and that bed looked so inviting.

--- she had no time to object, though. within moments she was having clean clothes shoved into her arms ; a black t-shirt that normally would have fit ( but given her physical condition would hang off of her like she was a coat rack ) and a pair of gray canvas pants, along with socks and a jacket. her boots were still in good shape, luckily, so she could keep those. she began to strip down when she heard footsteps outside of her room. it was likely that it was her tour guide, and she made sure to change as slowly as possible, blaming it on her cold joints aching from the weather. when she was finally clothed, she ran her fingers through the tangle of blonde hair on her head in attempts to make it look less windswept and knotty --- first impressions were important, after all. folding up her old clothing, she placed it at the end of her bed before turning around. when she did, she had to stop herself from doing a double take.

--- at the door, in all his glory, was james mccree. she didn’t even hear the other woman’s farewell ; she was too shocked to process anything other than the sight in front of her. the smile that threatened to tug at the corners of her lips was hard to fight, and she could feel her entire body shaking. it was him. the person she had spent an entire year in the bitter cold trying to get back to. she had, after all, promised to him that no matter what, she would return to him. finally, she let the smile win over when she heard the familiar nickname fall from his lips. kitten. and in seconds, she was bounding across the room towards the door frame and practically launching herself into his arms.

--- her face collided with his chest as she wrapped her frail arms around him, hugging him as tightly as she could with what little strength she had. she could tell he was taken by surprise, but in the moment didn’t care. he was still here. he was still alive. that was all that mattered.

--- “ i told you i’d come back. i don’t break my promises. ”

#[james mccree:001]#//wow....im so soft for them

closed starter for @ringleadr

--- katya had only been outside for a few minutes before the heard it. the cracking in the bush behind her was almost too quiet to hear. almost. it was only a split second before kat had her hand on her pistol, ears perking up to try and detect any other noises that would give away who ( or what ) was following her. a few steps more and she heard it again, louder this time. the blonde whipped around, drawing her weapon and messily aiming. however, her finger fell from the trigger at just the last second, arms dropping to her sides. she heaved out an exasperated breath.

--- “ seb, i could have killed you. why are you slinking around in the bushes like that ? ”

#lastopen #//wow this is...........horrible

trickormemes

One Word Writing Prompts

Send me a number 1 thru 50 for a word that I’ll use to write either a headcanon, drabble, or starter. Send 🌀 for a random number instead.

01. — first 02. — kiss 03. — final 04. — numb 05. — broken 06. — wings 07. — melody 08. — rules 09. — chocolate 10. — nostalgia 11. — heartbeat 12. — stranger 13. — confusion 14. — bitter 15. — afterlife 16. — daybreak 17. — audience 18. — endless 19. — fireworks 20. — wishing 21. — birthday 22. — tomorrow 23. — oppression 24. — agony 25. — return 26. — protection 27. — boxes 28. — hope 29. — preparation 30. — beautiful 31. — lies 32. — underneath 33. — hide 34. — diary 35. — unforeseen 36. — conditional 37. — gone 38. — clear 39. — heartache 40. — wired 41. — insanity 42. — foolish 43. — words 44. — study 45. — love 46. — skies 47. — stars 48. — lucky 49. — shake 50. — punctual

#[ask meme]

stcnm‌:

nicholas RARELY showed his head at the door, for numerous reasons, but the biggest probably being people didn’t find the school easy to find. rare were the occasional infected, and even rarer were the outsiders. that being said, it was awkward for him to be beckoned out of his office by one of the guardians, stating so easily that someone was here to speak with him. a frown appeared on tattered forehead, but made the quick decision to let him know he’ll be out shortly.

for a short minute, he contemplated getting his vice. they always seemed to know what they were doing, while he … well, more or less. months weren’t enough, seventeen years weren’t enough to prepare him for what he was supposed to do. ( watching his father, his grandfather lead and they expected him to be just like them. a tyrant ? a lenient soldier ? how was he supposed to be both ? ).

he sighed to himself, rubbing palms against his cheeks, fingers pulling through brown mane, and he grabbed his coat. torn, but good enough to keep the cold away for some time. give or take two hours. after that, he’d be on his own. strapping the pistol into his pocket, he left the small room, wasting no time in getting to the entrance.

his eyes settled on the platinum blonde, having to strain his eyes to see her through the white coat of the winter. like an artic rabbit … if the rabbit had seen a world of hell. he winced, as he watched her shiver, and firm hand pushed the barrel of the gun that sat in the guardian’s hand down ; giving him a pointed look that told him to be on alert, not ready to MURDER.

“ christ, stef. i’m freezing for her. ” steps taken out of the gates, he walked around her, to pick up the fur she’d dropped and her pistol, only giving one of them back to the woman, a weary smile on his lips. “ nick stonem. what can i do for you ? ”

--- she had been expecting the older stonem. the leader she remembered from her brief tenure at the school before. however, it appeared he had been replaced by his only son. visions of the small, awkward boy rushed back to katya. he could only be what ? eighteen now ? though he had grown out of his boyhood since she had last seem him. he looked fit to lead, if not a little bit broken --- but these days who wasn’t ? they were all children once, thrust into this and forced to grow up much to quickly.

--- the feeling of the fur ( though now dripping wet with snow ) on her back sent a tiny flush of warmth through her. the way she quickly grabbed the collar to pull it more tightly to her body was far from gracious, but she would rather be seen a slightly impolite and crass than perish in the snow when she was so close to the end of her fight.

--- not entirely sure what to say to the man in front of her, katya simply looked up at him for a moment. dull blue eyes traced his jawline, down his neck and back up to meet his gaze. another hard swallow and she straightened herself, doing her best to look put together as possible for this life or death negotiation.

--- “ i was hoping to secure a spot in your camp, ” she told him. her voice quaked slightly, half fear and half disgust for her own lost pride. begging on the doorstep like a street dog looking for scraps --- what would her parents think if they could see her now ?

--- “ my parents and i ... we stayed here before. years ago. they decided to leave and ultimately ... ” her throat was momentarily tight, “ they died. killed by a hoarde further north. i’ve spent the past year trying to find my way back here in hopes of finding forgiveness for what they did. ”

#[nick stonem:001]

closed starter for @stcnm

--- to say she felt anxiety would be possibly the biggest understatement of katya’s entire life. the small blonde shivered, pulling her tattered fur coat more tightly around her frail body. months --- maybe years, she didn’t know --- she had been searching for this place. days extending into nights and only knowing darkness as she traveled by torch through the snow. it had all felt positively primitive. and now, the possibility of this nightmare coming to the end was bringing her the opposite of relief.

--- she was afraid.

--- the walls were guarded, that she remembered. she could try to slip through undetected, though deceit was probably not a good place to start. she was here to beg for forgiveness --- nobody got forgiveness through lies. she inhaled, the sharp stabbing of cold air in her lungs making her wince. she had been hidden behind a tree for longer than she’d like to admit. it was possible a guard had seen her and simply ignored her --- she didn’t look at all like a threat. she took only a few steps before hearing a voice from above telling her to remove her jacket and drop any weapons. slowly, she took off the fur and let it fall into the snow at her feet, along with the small pistol she carried. with hands up, she walked towards the slowly opening gates.

--- “ i’m here to speak with stonem. ” her words came out as strong as she could make them, though she still sounded more like a demanding child than a grown woman. she brought her hands up to her arms, running them up and down the length of her body in hopes the friction would warm her. “ and i don’t want to freeze to death out here so if i could have my jacket back that would be lovely. ”

#[closed starter]#[nick stonem:001]

josefine pettersen : female ! that’s just vasilyev, katya - the twenty two year old outsider, who has been alone for one year. i heard she’s been dubbed the broken bird because she’s self-sufficient & intelligent, but if you look a bit closer, she’s also reclusive & cold. foggy mornings, the slow passage of time, & feathers are usually associated with her, but you’ll also hear them humming ghost limbs by dizzy, so be on the lookout for those signs. + “ i am mine before i am ever anyone else’s ”

guess who’s back ? ya girl beks w/ her girl the wild nd feral kat. pls give her a hug even if she bites you....she needs it.

#lastnew #head on sideways [katya]#death tw

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