♰

is it GOD inside you, girl?

[lothews-a]

lothews.tumblr.com      ,      lottie matthews as told by lux.

[lothews-a]

Maybe i’ll pull an aria and archive is that crazy

[lothews-a]

@lothews 👅

[lothews-a]

Maybe i’ll pull an aria and archive is that crazy

[lothews-a]

was i on Drugs when i wrote this oh my GOD?

[exilae-arch-deactivated20231219]

ACT II  :      WHAT’S A GIRL GONNA DO  ?      A DIAMOND’S GOTTA SHINE  !         /         EXILAE  ,      A MULTIMUSE BY ARIA  .

[lothews-a]

Sometimes i forget how few lines or scenes Lottie has in s1 THIS IS HER RENAISSANCE

[lothews-a]

Guys dont worry lottie matthews told me herself she just had to get back on her meds after being rescued she’s still a little deranged girlie,.

[jackiietaylor]

COURTNEY EATON as LOTTIE MATTHEWS Yellowjackets season 2

[lothews-a]

exilae​:

*      from @lothews​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​  :     THANK YOU FOR TREATING ME LIKE ME

you struggle to grant her a response  ,      opting into allowing the   smile   that curves up on your lips to   speak for itself  .      how could you treat her differently  ?(      isn’t that the   goal   of your mission  ?      infiltrate   &*   extract   information  ,      feed it   to the snakes   who try to swallow her like a rat/      no bruce isn’t a snake  ,      isn’t he  ,      no)  .      your strength lies in seeing her as a human  ,      not some monster  ,   just a girl  :      although now a days the two   fade into one another   beneath your own skin  .      quickly you notice a warmth rising to your cheeks  ,      &*   the air that peacefully slipped through your lips seems caught somewhere in the passage way      (      this cannot end well  ,      it won’t  ,      people are   counting on you   to tear her to pieces   &*   she’s counting on you to hold her steady  ,      how could you do this to her  ? )  .      “lottie   -”      your voice trails off into the air  ,      with tongue ending uncomfortably in your mouth  .      a few seconds pass before you do the unthinkable  :      your hands reach out   &*   cup her cheeks with such an ease that you’re sure you’ve done this before   in a dream  .

*   the gcpd is looking for information on lottie matthews  ,      you were friends with her in high school  ,      we need you to   -

you find   your lips   pressed against   hers   in the gentlest way you can afford  ,      the memory of past kisses lingering on your tongue   &*   leading you   away from muscle memory  .      this one is different because   it has to be  .      it’s dichotomous   &*   horrifying  ,      an aura of compassion intermingling with the taste of betrayal      (betrayal of who  ,      you’re unsure      )  .      you don’t push it further  ,      allowing the   simple gesture   of affection remain like a stain on her lips as you pull backwards  ,      left hand slipping slowly before the right to move back to your side  ,      now feeling cold  .      “   i’m  ,      i am so sorry  .      i don’t know why i did that  .   ”

everything and nothing is the same…       those are the only words that replay in lottie’s twisted mind as she looks at juliette.       it is normalcy at what cost?       even hunter and pray do a dance before one is devoured by the other    —    it’s just nature.       (    it is not lottie’s fear of what her old friend may do to her,       but what lottie may do to juliette.       a life in a cell of solitude is one thing,       but animalistic obsession and longing has driven lottie to do things she hadn’t thought possible,       and there is no doubt it will again and again.    )       there’s sudden warmth as juliette’s lips meet her own…       and against better judgement,       lottie melts into it.       she is sickeningly starved for affection    —    or maybe she’d just wanted this all along.       a desire that had been long buried under cannibalistic urges and cult like characterization.       kisses are for goodbyes and hellos,       and this feels like the latter.       lottie is frenzied with widened eyes and the quirk of her lip,       (     the direction in which they go is one thing lottie cannot tell…       a smile or a frown were all the same to her.    )       “       it’s okay.       ”       is all she can manage without her waterline flooding with tears.       her hand is hesitant,       twitchy even,       as she reaches juliette’s hand    —    offering it a squeeze.       i think i might have needed that,       is something lottie does not add.       their respective dispositions are difficult enough when isolated…       now it is all too complicated.       lottie’s lip is beginning to quiver before she turns away,       leaving juliette’s hand emptied and dangling.       “       i’m sorry,       i’m the one who should be sorry.       and i am…       you don’t deserve any of this,       anything i’ve put you through.       ”

[lothews-a]

i am an iPad girlie now

[lothews-a]

the “it’ll pass” trope is so crazy who thought of that

[lothews-a]

when s2 comes out all will Rejoice and the angels will sing

[lothews-a]

LOTHEWS.‎‏‏TUMBLR.COM ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ by ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎lux.

[lothews-a]

@exilae:           “   I WANTED TO SEE FOR MYSELF THAT YOU’RE ALL RIGHT.   ”

lottie matthews cannot recount a single time she was all right.       ( maybe,       though,       she had been once.       winning a soccer game or strung out on her meds. )       all right has taken up a new meaning now.       she’s still breathing,       still cowering in some weirdo’s cabin after a fucked up plane crash.       lashes are thick being peered through with groggy eyes.       she doesn’t know how long she’d been asleep,       but there’s a ringing in her ear and a sharp sting on her forehead.       “       thanks,       jackie..       ”       is the only two words she can find reasonable to choke out.       confirm nor deny being all right is something she cannot do.       there’s a beat of inquisition       —       a hand massaging temple,       chill down twisted spine.       “       did something..       did something happen?       ”

[notmorbid]

wild seed.

dialogue prompts from wild seed (pattermaster, #1) by octavia e. butler.

go on talking. you have much to tell me.

what i see of you is a lie. show me what you really are.

give me the trust you ask me to give you.

sometimes only a burn will teach a child to respect fire.

i have always protected myself.

people must be their own gods and make their own good fortunes.

you always seemed to know when to talk and when to stay quiet.

you are not alone here.

how can you know what i feel?

the world is not a gentle place.

i thought with you i could be myself.

has there been nothing good in your life?

i will not tell any more brave lies, even to myself.

whatever you’ve got to say to me, i deserve it.

i don’t understand how i can be alive after all that.

maybe what happens doesn’t leave marks on your body, but it leaves marks. it’s real.

i came back because of you.

i wanted to see for myself that you’re all right.

i’m here because i want to be.

lie here beside me.

no one has ever done what you did to me.

you’ll survive until the world ends.

don’t you think i know you by now?

endure it. what is there to do but endure it?

[lothews-a]

tell a friend to tell a friend.. (HA!) she’s backkkk

[lothews-a]

@crssfre​,       juliette king.

                        SHE     NODS     ALONG  .          there’s     no     reason     to     actively     disagree  ,          lottie     surely     isn’t     that     stupid  .          words     move     quickly     around     gotham  ,          each     move     of     the     elite     or     so     they’re     called     is     captured     clearly          (          live     in     glass     buildings     with     concrete     basement          /          their     life     is     but     a     production          )  .          unlike     most     everyone     juliette     has     known  ,          lottie     has     stopped     pretending  .          sitting     across     from     one     another  ,          so     true     in     her     statements  ,          &     finally     pursuing     a     so     called     purpose  .          at     least     she     has     the     guts     to     be     honest  .          “     does     it     really     bother     you     that     much  ?     ”

the city of gotham was like a pool of sharks.       one drop of blood in the water and they’d circle around it unless they could find something else to fulfill their bloodlust.        ( everybody knows;      lottie’s name is plastered on gazette after gazette...       and no longer for winning soccer tournaments. )        she’s turning into her own worst nightmare,         the very thing she once dreamt about and dreaded,        and she can feel it.          but does it really scare her?       a reputation running through her fingers like water?        “       no   ──   but i’m sure it bothers my father.        ”          her voice trails off.         something seems to hit her,       and for once lottie realizes that she’s only been hanging out for others    ──    because they’d wanted her to...        because she herself had no other option.         “       it’s not about me...        ”          eyebrows are knit above dark,      sullen eyes.            “       does it not bother you at all?       to be associated with me?         all the photos in the yearbook...        people know we were friends.        our names are in the descriptions.         charlotte matthews ( right ) and juliette king ( left ) pictured showing their school spirit.        ”