Bard shocking/confusing elves with figures of speech...
Bard: That ship has sailed!!
Galadriel: *offended elf noises*
Bard: I’m afraid you’ve missed the boat on that one!
Galadriel: *more offended elf noises*
Bard: The cat’s out of the bag now.
Thranduil: Why was the cat in the bag to start with?
Bard: You know what they say, curiosity killed the cat!
Thranduil: Is this the same cat that was in the bag? Is that why it died?
Bard: Gonna burn that bridge when we get to it.
Thranduil: What? Why would you do that?
Bard: Can everyone just turn over a new leaf, please? We all need to be on the same page, here!
Thranduil: Are we reading a book?
Bard: I’ll add that to my bucket list.
Thranduil: Why do you have a list of buckets?
Bard: Well, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.
Thranduil: Perhaps YOU cannot…
Bard: Yes, you’re my other half.
Thranduil: Other half of what?
Bard: Has the cat got your tongue?
Thranduil: I thought the cat was dead? Or is this a new cat? Is there more than one cat?
Bard: I don’t think you understand. I need you and Dain arguing like I need a hole in the head!
Thranduil: Why would you need that?
Bard: Alright, I know you both can barely be civil to each other, so, let’s start with the low hanging fruit.
Thranduil: I didn’t realize we were discussing food.
Bard: I’ll be honest, you guys have to meet me halfway, here!
Thranduil: But we’ve already met.
Bard: I’m in stitches over here, oh my god.
Bard: I have miles to go before I sleep…
Elrond: I thought you were staying here for a week?
Bard: That’s not what I- never mind.
Bard:: Look, can we all just not throw the baby out with the bathwater?
Thranduil: WHY WOULD WE DO THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE?!
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